This week Ira and Louis dive into Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, James Earl Jones’s epic career, new EGOT winners Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, old EGOT winners who maybe shouldn’t be, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, The Perfect Couple, and Ryan Seacrest’s turn on Wheel of Fortune. Ms. Pat also joins to discuss her Emmy-nominated series The Ms. Pat Show.

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TRANSCRIPT

 

Ira Madison And we are back with an all new Keep It. I’m Ira Madison, III and I’m dead and loving it.

 

Louis Virtel Wow. I’m Louis Virtel and I am not deathly sick. So I’m going to hold this podcast together using whatever it is I bring to the podcast and do it consistently. But Ira is basically near death and what’s happening here?

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel The coughing is very Tallulah Bankhead at the end of her life. I’m talking about she’s had a few hundred thousand cigarets at this point.

 

Ira Madison Ok I am backstage at the milk train doesn’t run here anymore.

 

Louis Virtel We’re seconds in this episode of Tennessee Williams So Deep.

 

Ira Madison Which I did see. Not with her, obviously. I saw it with Olympia Dukakis.

 

Louis Virtel May she rest.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. Yeah. So bad play. But she’s great right now.

 

Louis Virtel I’m sure she had a lot to do in that play.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel This is, by the way, the last week I get to call myself just Emmy nominee. I’ll soon be winner or loser.

 

Ira Madison We’ll find out.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, I’m going to give a shout out to Jeopardy! That won best game show over the weekend. I am wearing a wheel of fortune shirt today to prove that I’m versed. And then secondly, Ryan Seacrest is now hosting the show. He did his first episode the other day. And can I tell you something? Is there more of a machine in show business than Ryan Seacrest? There, I mean, like we talk about like Taylor Swift or Beyonce, they’re being machine like and their ability to keep producing stuff. Ryan Seacrest has never been incapable of doing what he, like, it’s like he’s been hosting for 100 years. It’s such a weird quality to have that he feels so belonging to whatever environment he puts himself in work wise. And by the way, he has 175 jobs still.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, I mean he ate Brian Dunkleman in the world.

 

Louis Virtel And there was lots of frosted tips involved there. So it was a really course swallow.

 

Ira Madison That has to be one of the biggest fumbles ever. By the way, can you imagine his contract negotiations  between season one and season two and then the show just takes off, right?

 

Louis Virtel Also, one of those shows, though, where they did have like 2 or 3 too many moving parts at the time, like something probably had to go, you know, to get to that really insightful analysis that Paula Abdul would bring every single performance.

 

Ira Madison Well, you know, speaking of American Idol, I have an essay about American Idol in my new book, which is finally coming out.

 

Louis Virtel Woof.

 

Ira Madison After years of me talking about it.

 

Louis Virtel As you know, I’m anti-Bush. So this is a tough moment for me. But yes, I’m excited to read it. What is the essay pertaining to? Is it about a specific idol?

 

Ira Madison Yes. So I wrote about the episode where Jennifer Hudson goes home.

 

Louis Virtel I mean, we were just talking about classic theater, the way Fantasia throws her head back and sobs fully Madea-level.

 

Ira Madison The way that Ryan Seacrest does the most diabolical thing ever and puts all three black women in one group and then puts the others into another group and then asks, I believe, George Hough to join the group that he thinks is the top group of the week.

 

Louis Virtel What the fuck?

 

Ira Madison And of course, he goes over to the group where, you know, Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson are there. Then Ryan goes, I said, the top group and then the music and the dramatics. But no, I compare that to the other big election of 2004, which was George W Bush or whatever. Remember him?

 

Louis Virtel Not you getting into political analysis, not you writing for Politico. I am just not sure about that.

 

Ira Madison Anyway, the book is now available for preorder and it’s called Pure Innocent Fun. So go look it up on Amazon. It’s on sale on Amazon or wherever you buy your book. I must say.

 

Louis Virtel Lots of other places besides Amazon. Just saying. That’s all I’m saying.

 

Ira Madison I feel like one of the positive boys now promoting a book. Isn’t that all they do right on this show? Remember.

 

Louis Virtel They’re helping people or whatever. I think it’s super Survivor. Next, I will say we’re coming up on the advent of John Lovett on Survivor. And I have to tell you, when people come up to me and ask, like, do you know anything about how he did on Survivor? First of all, of course I don’t. And second of all, I have no guess as to how this man did.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel His brand of kind of sarcasm and casual, droll intelligence or whatever. I don’t really know how that plays on Survivor and like he would be an unusual person to win in that regard, I think. Yeah. You know, like I feel like they’re more kind of diabolical, saucy personalities that land on top. But I don’t know.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, you know, I don’t know how to play. I feel like for his sake, he probably either wants to win or a somewhat early boot. Not that early, but I don’t know. I feel like Jerry is probably better on Survivor than it is on Big Brother. Some people like, don’t want to make the jury because they’re like, Get me out of here.

 

Louis Virtel In Big Brother. They put you in like the. This house that has just a couple of coloring books in it, and you have to sit in there for weeks and weeks. It is full prison like and you have to wait until this episode where you are basically an inconsequential member of the TV show and you vote one person to win. Ultimately, I will also say about John, Love it. I will be on love it or leave it or taping Love it or leave it live this Thursday with some I’m looking at my notes up and coming actress named Jane Fonda. I don’t know what this woman is performing. If she’s good and she has training, I have no idea if she’s related to anybody famous. And the other queen of cinema, Zachary Quinto, will be there. And Kumail Nanjiani, who guest hosted Kimmel over the summer. He will be there, too. And I want to say, for a straight man, nobody has looked more like gay porn than this man. This is the gay porn is looking better.

 

Ira Madison I have never seen.

 

Louis Virtel The shoulder width alone.

 

Ira Madison You know what he really did do a whole transformation post marvel.

 

Louis Virtel Know what the eternals the eternal is Ariel the size because his pecs are huge.

 

Ira Madison You know, we got a few good things out of the Eternals. Not the.

 

Louis Virtel Right now.

 

Ira Madison But there was Gemma chan, Kit Harington, Just two beautiful people in a movie, being beautiful, not much else.

 

Louis Virtel Which is what we request of them. Thank you.

 

Ira Madison We got that. I don’t know who else. Angelina Jolie is in the movie. Of course.

 

Louis Virtel That’s a problem when Angelina Jolie comes up fourth when describing a movie, that’s where you know you went wrong. That’s when Chloe Zhao should have taken a look and work.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. Unfortunately, though, the rumors that Maria might be bad seemed to be going away.

 

Louis Virtel People, at least she seems qualified for a nomination, it seems like. Yeah, they love her. Which love her back in an Oscars conversation, which.

 

Ira Madison Is all we need.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, that’s very exciting.

 

Ira Madison Anything else happening?

 

Louis Virtel Well, there were so many things happened since we were last on two weeks ago. We’ll get into some of it. Remember that movie, The Deliverance? Yeah, I have a certain limited series that’s going to be on my Keep it this week, but otherwise, this episode we’ve got to talk about Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, which I saw and IRA didn’t because as you can hear, he has some sort of Gray’s anatomy level illness like like is he is trying to have sex with him in the bed. And that’s how sick he is.

 

Ira Madison I’m Beetlejuice. I’m I’m Beetlejuice though. Actually. I’m death.

 

Louis Virtel okay. Yeah, we’ll talk about that. And then also James Earl Jones, one of the great actors in any medium, passed away this week. And we will talk about how fabulous he is. And also we will talk about how he’s kind of an honorary Egot winner. He won an honorary Oscar but won the other three awards cleanly. Pasek and Paul, the songwriters are newly minted Egot winners this week, so we’ll break down maybe our favorite Egot winners Who deserves and you got which ones are kind of full of shit. Actually, it’s going to get nasty. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be so mean to some of these people. And then our guest today is the Lusciously. Hilarious, effortlessly funny, Miss Pat, who’s back with the new season of the Miss Pat Show. She’s going to be on tour. She’ll tell you all the dates specifically. So bring a pencil and a pat. You’re going to need to be writing these down.

 

Ira Madison I want to be described someday as lusciously hilarious.

 

Louis Virtel The way it comes out of her mouth.

 

Ira Madison It’s like, yeah.

 

Louis Virtel It hits so hard for how casually she’s delivering it. But anyway, that’s keep it this week until, of course, IRA passes away. So the episode could end early. We will be back after this.

 

Ira Madison So Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice came out this weekend. Obviously, I was not going to go to the theater and infect people with whatever it is I have.

 

Louis Virtel That does sound like a Night Shyamalan movie, I would say. But go ahead.

 

Ira Madison Trap two. Yeah, right. Which I still haven’t seen the first trap. So obviously I’m.

 

Louis Virtel Still getting over that. I’m not sure. I know I just had his f daughter play a pop star in the movie and then it’s styled around her. It’s so brazen. It’s so brazen.

 

Ira Madison And yet Francis Ford Coppola couldn’t even accomplish that much in The Godfather three.

 

Louis Virtel Right. But that was well, that pertains to Winona Ryder, who was supposed to take that role and then dropped out. And then Sophia got into it, went on, is coming up later with Beetlejuice, get back on track. What’s happening here?

 

Ira Madison So I did not see it. However, I am a big fan of the original Beetlejuice and I guess this is you convincing me to see it or not see it. And I will say, though, speaking of the original Beetlejuice, do you recall that Roger Ebert did not like this movie?

 

Louis Virtel Nothing pleases me more than when one of those two gentlemen and they are the biggest straight man who ever lived like Trump, is third like their run into.

 

Ira Madison Details magazine staff member. Yes, that’s straight men who are bitches.

 

Louis Virtel It always thrills me to realize they hate something completely like Gene Siskel, famously hating Silence of the Lambs, for example. Just what? It’s so strange.

 

Ira Madison But Ebert hated it because he loved the story in the beginning. And then when they died, he didn’t know it was a ghost story. And he said, I’m not interested in this. He thought it was just going to be a funny comedy about this couple trying to fix up this house. He actually says in his review, I thought it was going to be like Money Pit.

 

Louis Virtel That movie we need to keep watching and talking about. Isn’t it weird, by the way, that the speaking of Tom Hanks movies, that the burbs is coming back with Keke Palmer? It’s such a strange choice from the past to bring back. But anyway so Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. I will say this first of all, when it comes to like rebooting IP, that’s like this old for me, almost automatically the bar that set is it cannot be any higher than a two and a half star movie. Like, for example, watching Top Gun Maverick. I can’t divorce myself from the movie machinery that is making this happen that feels ultimately kind of cynical. So I can’t think of a movie like that that has risen above that for me. And I’m going to say the same thing about Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. That said, it is a full two and a half stars to me, and I will tell you why. First of all, you get a lot of Winona Ryder in this movie. Now, if you’ve listened a lot to keep it. I actually have been kind of a doubter of hers. I love her and Heathers, even though I don’t love that movie. I think she’s fine in the Age of Innocence. I think other people kind of could have played that part for which she was nominated for an Oscar. But in this movie, she really brings her signature blend of one, the cynicism that we associate with Lydia Deeds that she played in the original. And to that Winona Ryder thing of she seems confounded by literally everything, like everything sort of is hitting her in pinpricks and needles all the time. And she’s a little bit perturbed and strange. She, to me is downright lovable in this movie. It is a great return to form for her. And I have to say also about her, she’s been giving so many interviews recently. This is one of the most hardcore movie lovers of any major star we have. Like, this is somebody who should be hosting her own TCM channel. I saw her rhapsodizing about Barbara Stanwyck recently. She’s one of the few people who really nailed that letter box for favorite movies thing.

 

Ira Madison Absolutely.

 

Louis Virtel Which whenever I see like somebody we really care about, step up to the mike for this thing, I absolutely brace myself because let me just say something. Amy Adams, Baby, you are on notice. This woman comes to the mike and she says two of her favorite movies are The Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump. Ma’am, are you a nine year old boy? What happened? I like these people. Okay. I get some people don’t like ranking things. You know, it’s like a kind of frame of mind about movies that some people don’t have. You cannot it just can’t be The Shawshank Redemption anymore. It can’t be anything that played on TBS 175 times a day. And then also she said, St Elmo’s Fire, that movie blows.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, it’s a really bad movie.

 

Louis Virtel Maybe she’s a Mare Winningham fan, in which case, all right, now I’m crossing the aisle. Now we’re friends. Nothing else in that movie is that good, though?

 

Ira Madison You know, I really appreciated one of the writers, Letterboxd and and Jenna Ortega’s as well.

 

Louis Virtel Jesus Christ. Jenna Ortega is like a freak. I had no idea she cared about movies this much. Yes. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison Specifically gave an interview Winona did, where she talked about how she’s worked with people who don’t even watch movies. She’s clearly talking about Millie, Bobby Brown and how much she loved Jenna Ortega, just talking about movies with her. And I also loved seeing them on the red carpet like Jenna’s seemed to really take on a sort of protective role. We’re not like dealing with the press and things like that. There was this lovely clip where the people are screaming at one note, I like a photo without the sunglasses, without the sunglasses. And then you see Jenna lean in and tell her, You don’t have to do that.

 

Louis Virtel Fuck, yeah. No, I mean, Janet. Janet does seem like a hardened pro. Like, I’ll tell you how to treat these fucking animals or whatever.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. And also, everything she said about, quote unquote, writing for Wednesday seems to be fucking true because she gave an interview about how Tim Burton was coming to her, asking her for story ideas for season two, etc., and then handed her the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice script and said, I want you in this. So it seems like he at least covets her opinion.

 

Louis Virtel Also, I was heartened to hear that Winona and doing an interview about her entire career and she revisited the original Beetlejuice, talked about how she loved working that movie because she felt like an actual collaborator. So it sounds to me like Tim Burton just values the opinion of his actors in a really interesting way. I want to also say about Roger Ebert. He did end up loving his movie ad word, which I think is probably still the best Tim Burton movie. If people haven’t seen that yet. With Johnny Depp as the world’s worst director, Ed Wood and Martin Landau playing Bela Lugosi to an Oscar win. I also fucking love Sarah Jessica Parker in that movie and Patricia Arquette. Moving on.

 

Ira Madison Also. Isn’t it so weird, Joe Ortega being this big movie buff and then the current Scream movie sort of being what they are.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. I also don’t feel like I’m not positive we’re using Jenna Ortega correctly. We’re not. She’s supposed to be like, this has this cynical edge to her all the time. And we are we sure she just doesn’t have dark hair. Like, it’s like we’re we’re putting this personality on her that I don’t think is really true to her. I don’t know. But anyway, I will say there’s a lot of set up for this movie, but once it gets into the groove and you’re in the world of the kookiness and you’ve got a stitched up. Monica Bellucci walking around, by the way, that’s a relationship we’re not talking about enough. Tim Burton and Monica Bellucci. I’m enjoying, you know, I mean she’s Helena Bonham Carter shaved It makes sense those two And then I really liked there’s this moment in the movie where Jenna Ortega is taken in by this boy character who of course, turns out to be I’m sorry, this is a spoiler, a dead person, and he can’t leave his tree house. Same rules as in the original Beetlejuice. He is the grandson of the actor Tom Conti, who is an Oscar nominee for a movie called Ruben Ruben in the 80s. So a surprising number of baby, but also at least you made it interesting. Elsewhere in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, there are some references in this movie that are so Animaniacs level strange and goofy and like things that like Gen-z wouldn’t know about. I loved how squarely aimed at Gen X it was. This is a bit of a spoiler, but there’s a mode of transportation where the dead ride and they call it the Soul Train and all the people getting on to it are like Soul Train dancers. Like they’re literally dancing and like, you know, like Jody Watley, like going down there. Rosie Perez and Rosie Perez, the very same. And the music is really good. So I’m giving it as full a recommendation as I can for something that does feel like a machine, spat it out. And I handed it to you.

 

Ira Madison You know, Tim Burton had an interview where he said that he feels like he had lost himself a bit, and now he’s finally gotten back to who he was with this film. Would you say you’re noticing a bit more of the Tim Burton juice coming back?

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Well, the movie does make me laugh several times to Beetlejuice himself. Michael Keaton nailing the line deliveries in a way where it feels like no time has passed. And I mean, because of the makeup on this character, it’s like you’re still watching the 1988 Michael Keaton. Like he’s still as spry and like the movements are the same as jolting and strange. And, you know, he makes the movie what it is that’s said not quite enough Beetlejuice. And I know that in the original movie, it’s not like he dominates the movie. You know, he he appears when he appears and then, you know, the other characters take over. I would have liked a little bit more of him ultimately, I think.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, I think Michael Keaton specifically wanted there to be less of him because he didn’t want Beetlejuice to overtake the movie. But I don’t know. I feel like Michael Keaton is having such a great moment in his career that I really didn’t know how much I loved him until recently. And it’s from fun, goofy roles to that you would think wouldn’t be great. But even when he appeared in, say, Spider-Man as The Vulture, right, you know, this sort of pathos that he brought to a character like that. And, you know, it relies on the fact that, you know, he was in Batman before and that he you know, he did Birdman, etc.. So, I don’t know. He’s such he takes really good roles lately.

 

Louis Virtel I also feel like over the past few years, like this admiration is kicked up for him where he could win like a Kennedy Center Honors or something. Like there’s this agreed upon feeling that he is essential to showbusiness and he has done anything and everything. I mean, this is the man who starred in like Multiplicity and Batman, etc.. You know, it was a good movie, that McDonald’s movie The founder that was good. Underrated movie that didn’t go anywhere that Oscar season also.

 

Ira Madison He’s fantastic. And Jackie Brown.

 

Louis Virtel Of course. I mean, actually, when people don’t pick Jackie Brown is their favorite Quentin Tarantino movie. I have to ask why. It just to me has everything in a way that isn’t contrived.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Quentin Tarantino I’m not used to his tricks by that point and that point in his career. It’s thrilling. It’s thrilling. Tarantino For me, also, Justin Theroux plays a part that I almost worried was too over-the-top. He does get a lot of laughs at me by the end. And then also, Willem Dafoe plays a certain zany comic role to the hilt that said, Can someone please pick up this man from Nightmare Alley? He’s been there for five years now. I’m telling you, it’s still poor things. It’s still one of my eyes is popping out of its socket and the other one is shooting a gun. Like everything about him is still kooky House of Wax. And I would like him to return a little bit to the solemn awards circuit where he belongs. And I’m talking about playing Vincent Van Gogh or the platoon or whatever. I need a little bit more of that. Willem Dafoe Lighthouse. Willem Dafoe.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, I would say also. It’s funny you brought up Justin Theroux because I was rewatching for some reason, Big Brother 14.

 

Louis Virtel I’m remembering with fantastic Rachel Riley.

 

Ira Madison Now, the coaches, the coaches, you know the coaches.

 

Louis Virtel Ian Terry, Ian Terry, Yes, yes.

 

Ira Madison And Terry winning. And at one point, Julie asked them about things that have happened in the real world and whether they’re true or false. And one of the questions was, who got engaged this week? Was it Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez?

 

Louis Virtel I didn’t realize they played like US Weekly style games with the contestants. Or I’d forgotten they did Once upon a time.

 

Ira Madison I think they do less of that now. But they really used to do that shit where it was, people care about these things and they would ask about the Super Bowl, etc.. But it was Jennifer Aniston just getting engaged to Justin Theroux.

 

Louis Virtel My God. Simpler times. I did enjoy them together. Also, he’s quite talented. He wrote Tropic Thunder.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel No, When people have a script in their in their belt, that’s always strange, you know, like, what’s his name? Glen Powell was one of those now, you know.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. And also the black Channing Tatum, the one from prison Break.

 

Louis Virtel You’re talking about Wentworth Miller?

 

Ira Madison Yes, because he wrote Stoker, which is crazy.

 

Louis Virtel What?

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel People contain multitudes. Consult Walt Whitman on this. This is what he thinks.

 

Ira Madison But then when they do that, I’m always like, Was that the only script you had in you? And we’re grateful that that’s all you want to put out there, Or is there something else circulating and no one’s just asked you for?

 

Louis Virtel No, I keep thinking about when we had Tenaga Riera on this show and she is a Tony nominated playwright, I believe. Yeah. And she said, Well, I wasn’t getting the roles I wanted for myself, so I had to write something. And I assume that’s why a large swath of actors write, you know, they’re not getting cast. And so they think this is an interesting way to put me.

 

Ira Madison Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively.

 

Louis Virtel Nobody’s casting Blake Lively. They’re too scared, too big of a risk.

 

Ira Madison Let me tell you that. That girl is very lucky. A simple favor, too, is coming out next year. Right.

 

Louis Virtel Which I assume people are going to get people back into her favor, if you know what I’m saying.

 

Ira Madison All right. Well, we’re back and we’re joined by Ms. pat.

 

Louis Virtel [AD]

 

Ira Madison This week’s guest always have something wild to say and a lot of places to say it. From her stand up tour to her podcast, The Pat Down to her beats plus originals. Wherever there’s a mess to be made, she’s going to be there. And we’re all the better for it. So please welcome to the show star of the Emmy nominated series The Ms. Pat Show. It’s Ms. Pat.

 

Ms. Pat Hi. Thank ya’ll for having me.

 

Ira Madison Thank you for being here.

 

Louis Virtel My God. When I heard you were going to be on this show, I said, Thank God. Just let the funny woman be funny at us, please. You were just on Jimmy Kimmel recently where you were a fabulous talk show guest. And I just want to ask in general, do you really embrace like being on a talk show, like when you hear you’re going to be on something like that, do you think, this is like my chance to do exactly what I’m put on earth to do? Because you seem so attuned to what an audience needs to be hearing when you’re sitting in the chairs like that.

 

Ms. Pat Well, I mean, I just I don’t you know, a lot of people are like, my God, I’m gonna be on Jimmy Kimmel. I just look at everybody as they shop at Walmart. And if you don’t shop there, you go there to steal. So everybody is on one level. So I think that’s what make me go out and just be who I am, no matter who said Mrs. Obama or Jimmy Kimmel. Michael Jackson, I’m everybody shop at Wal Mart. So everybody’s on the same plan level. So I just go out and be me.

 

Louis Virtel I’m now picturing Michael Jackson at Wal Mart. What is he getting? Is he buying his bandleader uniform epaulets there? What could he possibly buy?

 

Ira Madison Do you have monkey fur? Yeah, right. Well, aside from even just being a great guest, you’re a great host. And I want to ask you before we get to the Emmy nominated series, I want to talk about Miss Pat Settles that, which is so funny as you as a judge on Beat was. And there’s a panel of comedians, which is a great, you know, twist on the format of just, you know, Judge Joe Brown or Judge Judy just being the only person yelling at the crazy people who come in. And you had a clip go viral recently with these two people going at it over. I was explaining to Louis, so it was coming in and they were expecting a Kelly Rowland look from somebody.

 

Ms. Pat Yes.

 

Ira Madison And what we saw was not Kelly Rowland.

 

Ms. Pat I want people to understand, I don’t see these cases before they presented to me, I always told them I do not want to see the case because I want the reaction to be authentic. So when you all saw that Kelly Rowland, I don’t know what the hell she looked like, to be honest with you, I was so blown away. But it was not Kelly Rowland. I was just as shocked as my juror. And it was hilarious. It actually got 10 million views on my page.

 

Ira Madison Oh damn.

 

Ms. Pat And it’s still going. And people can not be, you know, people like, where’s this show? I’ve never heard of this show. And and that’s why I brought in comedians and family because I wanted to put a twist on a judge. So I tell people I’m a convicted felon. I’m not a judge. I have a GED. I just wanted to put a twist on a judge. So Steve Harvey is not a judge. He’s a comedian. Great. How’s he does. He is. He’s white, and I do my my way. And I just wanted to put more comedy into my eyes.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. You have such a distinct past. You just said you’re a convicted felon. You have this memoir, Rabbit, where you talk about selling drugs under that name. What other comedians do you actually relate to? Are there people in the business who you think, that’s my obvious colleague or compatriot because you’re such a one of a kind story.

 

Ms. Pat I relate a lot to Ali Siddiq because he’d been to prison for drugs, too. So I guess a lot of stuff when he’s talking. He’s one of my favorite comedians right now. I can really relate to him because we kind of have a similar background.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. And I think that what I really love too, about your collaborations is that we had Jordan Cooper on here before. And yes, I love Jordan and him working on the mismatched show with you. How did that even come about and how did you, you know, manage to just sort of meld your perfect sort of brains of comedy together, you know, because you have a very distinct voice. And he has such a distinct voice, too, and it comes together beautifully on the show.

 

Ms. Pat Well, Jordan was a third writer for the Ms. Pat. It wasn’t even called the Ms. Pat Show. Matter fact he named it Ms. Pat Show. And so when he came along, he said, We should name the show after you. And he was young, straight out of college. He was still in college and ready to graduate. And I went out on my birthday. I know he did it. And Lee Daniels told me to go out and meet Jordan. He think he could write the show. At this time in Hollywood, you don’t get three opportunities for the same show. That show had three writers. So I mean, it had to be gone because it’s almost like I was waiting for Jordan to grow up because I spent like a year and a half with one writing in a year with another writer. And so I was white. It was like I was waiting for him to grow up and then introduce me to him. And I flew out to see his play. And I called Lee and I was like, this boy, I’ve been here before. I think he can do it. And both of us new to Hollywood and I had been there a little longer than him. And I just told him and I said, you know, one thing you had to do is you want this for me as the everybody’s doing, a lot of you as indie people do not eat. They food. They they take you to lunch and they and they go to the bathroom throw it up. I said they all liars. I’m probably the only one that swallows their food.

 

Ira Madison Okay.

 

Louis Virtel Good trait to have in this town. We need one of you.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Ms. Pat And I just told him, I said, well, we always took it over to Fox and, you know, we’re on how a company imagine is also a partner on the show. So they didn’t want it. He was too young. He had never written a TV show. And I just told myself, You listen to me, we can get this show made. And so we went behind everybody back and we kept all safe. And he wrote the pilot for the show. It took us about a week and a half, our day. Our night. Just right, right, right, right, right, right. And I took it to Lee Daniels. And one of the biggest thing and what I love about Jordan is because he trusted me when I asked him to take his name out, the pilot. And there’s some serious shit in Hollywood. Actor who stole it is that you didn’t write anything. He didn’t have any representation at the time. And I say one thing you would never have to worry about me do is the line is stealing. Because I done all of it. When I was when I was younger, I took it. I took his name also. And the reason why I took his name off of it. Yeah. Because if they didn’t like it, you know, he was. He was in the midst of trying to get the job. It was. It was saying, we already know you can’t write. It would have fell back on me. I’m going to start they trying to get me out there so they care about me. But they didn’t really care about him at the time and so he took his name off of it. I gave it to Lee Daniels and Lee Daniels read it. He was like, Who wrote this? And I was like, Me? He’s like, You like to imagine. And they gave him the job to write the pilot.

 

Louis Virtel That is phenomenal also. Okay. And you’ve brought up the name Lee Daniels. First of all, just talk about your relationship with him in general, because he’s been on my mind recently, because he’s been giving phenomenal interviews regarding the movie The Deliverance. And have you seen this movie and what did you think?

 

Ms. Pat I did not see that movie because my husband was there. Everybody said, I don’t do scary movies. I don’t even do little bit of scary movies. Okay. I know when I was some deep with and I’m going to have to see, you know, some folks and from what I saw was pretty good. But sit out. I can’t watch. They don’t give a shit.

 

Louis Virtel Me and talk about your relationship with Lee Daniels just in general. He’s like a fascinating showbiz figure. His quotes recently about putting Empire together were staggering.

 

Ms. Pat Well, I met him doing the first season of Empire. I lived in Indiana, and his young daughter named John Rattler, who works for Imagine at the time, I think he was a producer or something like that for him. So it was his job to go out and find shows. And he found me on Joe Rogan Parks and took me to Lee Daniels and Lee Day. We had a conversation and they said, okay, I do that. He was moving into TV and he wanted to give a black woman a TV show. And so I just happened to be that black woman at the time. And he found Jordan after the third writer. And you know, what I love about Lee Day is, like he said, it was like me and you. His kid who had never been to Hollywood. And he said, this is our project. Develop it. I’m just a pair if you need me to go with somebody else. So there were times like if I needed something, we couldn’t we couldn’t get the ball move. Well, we’ll call Danny and then we’ll get that ball move. He will get that ball movement for us. So, you know, we just finished a full season, which is our biggest season. You know, knock on wood, hopefully season five is coming along. And, you know, we’re still together at the Five Seasons.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. I mean, I think it’s a really funny, really inventive show. I love that this classic sitcom episode that you did without the swearing in that one of that, what cracked me up a lot and congratulations on the Emmy nomination.

 

Ms. Pat So we never went into this thinking that this show would be nominated for an Emmy. Not because it wasn’t a good show. It was A mainly because B T plus was such a new at what we got. It was a year old. I think he’s going into his fifth year now and it didn’t have air less than a million subscribers. And I remember Jordan telling us, you know, we’re going to die over here. I said, No, we don’t know. Winner. I said, one thing I know about life. You only get to create two things. If you create these two things or if you mimic these two things. You got it here. And there’s crack and Waffle House. They never had a commercial. But they still going strong. All of these times you bring up the house commercial and I never seen a commercial special is cracking. Waffle House is undeniable. And we’ve been over there and now we’ve wanted to hopefully we’re going into our full season. And, you know, I’m just grateful to be getting close for pulling the show out of the Disney vault because Hulu shut the pilot in and said it pretty much wasn’t good enough. And they put it on the show and B, t plus when they got it. And not only did they go in and get it, they allowed us to be glad. They allow me to tell a story about a mother that most networks will never touch. I’m not the first black mother to say such a black is down. The problem is Hollywood never allowed you to see it, could you? Oprah was as close as you got today.

 

Louis Virtel Totally. Also, I want to say on this show that there’s like a live studio audience, which is like utterly dead behavior and TV comedy. I’m so thrilled about that. Do you have a favorite multi-cam sitcom in history that has that feel with that audience?

 

Ms. Pat It will probably be, you know, one of my favorite shows. I don’t I don’t I don’t even know if it was multi-cam. I think it was with Leave it to Beaver.

 

Louis Virtel Amazing answer.

 

Ira Madison Okay. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel Billingsley Yeah.

 

Ira Madison I loved Leave It to Beaver and I used to watch every episode of Nick at Nite.

 

Ms. Pat Yes. And she was like, the perfect little mom. Mama will be in a better job, I guess. What do you. What do you need today, Beaver? And I’m like, how? His mama’s sipping tea. My mom was drinking out of a quiet bar, and I was like, is this about Mom? Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel She also has one of the greatest necks in TV history. I think, just like the posture that would come into the room and, you know, put Wally in his place.

 

Ms. Pat I wonder, do they make love in the pearls? Because they never came up on me.

 

Louis Virtel No, She was born in those, I’m almost certain.

 

Ira Madison And who was the father breaking on? Is that the sickness? The best friend. Eddie Haskell. Yes. God. One of the great characters. Yes. The neighbor kid who like that is just a very classic, you know, White Americano to, you know, the neighbor kid who comes over and you’re like, because I feel like my mom would have known Eddie Haskell was up to no good.

 

Ms. Pat Yes. Or black mamas. No. Like that.

 

Ira Madison Right. They would have known.

 

Ms. Pat That we could smell it. I know. I was telling my son he brought a girl home one time and I say. And I told my son, I said, Look, she’s a whore. You know, she’s not that she’s a housewife. I can smell the whole Nisman. After they broke up, he said, Why not? You know, I’ll see you on a strip club. I said, Did I tell you how well that was? Also did not allow your friends to come to the house.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Also if you start on a show called Show Detective where people just walked in and then you had to tell us and like a game show we fashion whether or not they were a show, I think that would sell. I’m just saying.

 

Ms. Pat Well, I have a nose for hope.

 

Ira Madison Which.

 

Louis Virtel By the way, speaking of that, and I’m wearing a wheel of fortune shirt right now, I was shocked and pleased to hear you say that you want to host a game show. And what kind of game show are we talking about here? This is something I am very obsessed with. I’m obsessed with game shows in the world of. The most compulsively watchable TV we have.

 

Ms. Pat I would love to show something in the dating and dating scene. Marriage. I’ve been there for 31 years. Something like a newlywed game. What a twist. Because marriage, what it used to be back in the day, which is a man and a woman, is everybody now. So it would be it’d be it would be so colorful and so beautiful to hear, you know, just not a bore man in a relationship anymore. The woman got to cook. We don’t cook anymore. So I would love to see I want to see relationships, talk to America about how things have changed now completely.

 

Ira Madison I mean, I think Louis has been watching this, too, but I’ve been rewatching supermarket sweep, and while I’ve been say, I just there’s a channel on Amazon Prime that just has it on all day. So I’ve been watching it and the 90s episodes are just it’s so funny what David Ruprecht, the host, is asking them like, what do you do? And they’re very much like, Well, I’m a full time mom to kids at home. And it’s like, that’s the response for everybody, unless they’re in school or something. But it is very rare that any of the women on the show have a job that’s outside of the home.

 

Louis Virtel It’s just gender.

 

Ira Madison Roles, specific gender roles for these men and women on the show.

 

Ms. Pat Nobody follows gender roles anymore. So that’s why it’s so interesting. You know, it would be it would be awesome to see people in different elements in marriages. Now.

 

Louis Virtel Also, Newlywed Game will always come in like there’s always a time for that to come back. We’ve had the versions of Carnie Wilson and Sherri Shepherd and stuff, so your time will come.

 

Ms. Pat Yes. Yes. Put it out there. My time will come. What? Your real question is not that bullshit, and so do it. I don’t want to see anybody. See, I want to somebody say, how do we know.

 

Louis Virtel What’s her phone number? Yeah, right.

 

Ms. Pat And always will step in this side.

 

Ira Madison And what we need is the Newlywed Game. But it’s only with couples who there’s been an affair.

 

Ms. Pat No, it doesn’t matter. You can. I don’t even. What is the policy was. I don’t know what it is when a man Episode five women. I don’t know what the fuck is called. I’ll call it that. You damn fool it. I don’t know this. All of us.

 

Ira Madison Are well, okay, so you are also amongst the many things that you are doing currently. You’re also embarking on a new tour.

 

Ms. Pat Yes. Hot in plastic?

 

Ira Madison Yes. Okay. Tell us a bit about what is it that you get out of touring so much that you really enjoy. Is that your favorite part of your career?

 

Ms. Pat I love tour because I just I love going to the different places and I love dealing with, you know, like if you go like, I just love Huntsville, Alabama. Country is a fucker. You hear me there in a while in the seats with these two shoes on. And it is good to go back and look at just people from, you know, from different parts of the world. And I always tell people coming is how I got here and is the one thing that I own along with the pet now is I don’t own Miss Pet Show. I don’t know. Miss Pet said that you create these things. I’m not Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry, about the only black person I know. I own any damn thing that easy, you know? But I’m not there yet. So it’s the one thing I have control over. And I love having control over what I do. So I’m going to keep do stand up because a stand up is how I got where I’m at today.

 

Louis Virtel Do you have any cities you visited on tour that you found surprisingly charming, that you have specific good memories of dealing with the audience?

 

Ms. Pat Vermont.

 

Louis Virtel How very. The Bob Newhart Show or. Newhart? Pardon me? What’s happening there?

 

Ms. Pat It was just it was like to me, it’s almost like a TV show. Everybody was so nice, is so pleasant. It was not a lot of fast food restaurant. The nightclub I played, everything was homegrown and a restaurant bought their food from local farmers. It was like some TV shit. I was like, So you almost felt like I was in Canada. It was so peaceful.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, we don’t have, like, peace around here. So that’s really crazy that you found some in the actual 50 states.

 

Ms. Pat Yeah, Vermont was really nice. I mean, tell them I was. I was like, it was beautiful. I was like, I should take you to Vermont. And we just go for a weekend.

 

Louis Virtel Very scenic. Yes. See Bernie Sanders country. Yes.

 

Ms. Pat No wonder I like it.

 

Ira Madison And where are you going? Out on the tour this time?

 

Ms. Pat I’ll be going to Denver. Charleston, South Carolina. Birmingham, Alabama, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Temple, Buffalo to Hall and New York City. And that is not a courthouse. Okay. Milwaukee, St Louis by Richmond, Virginia. So y’all come on and make sure your. Go to Comic-Con and get your tickets before I lose weight and you won’t bear identify me.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. That’s a threat. That’s a threat.

 

Ira Madison Okay. Well, this part. Thank you so much for being here.

 

Louis Virtel My God, you were so much fun. I knew you’d be this funny. I knew yours.

 

Ms. Pat Well. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel On Monday, news broke that beloved and revered actor James Earl Jones had died at the age of 93. During his lifetime, James won three Tonys, two primetime Emmys, a Grammy and an honorary Oscar, making him one of the handful of people to earn an eagle with an asterisk. A club that’s only gotten bigger just this past week because Pasek and Paul, the La la Land writers, the dear Evan Hansen writers, scored an Emmy for a song from Only Murders in the Building, which is both a kind of musical theater song. And also, if you ask me, Fucking annoying, which I believe was the point of the song. But lyrically, I think it’s qualified alone and it has like a nice, funny cadence that it’s appropriate for that season of only Murders in the building.

 

Ira Madison I told Benj once that my favorite work of his was from La La Crocodile.

 

Louis Virtel From the Sean Mendez Cinematic canon. I remember.

 

Ira Madison Yes. Yes. I don’t know if I actually meant it, but I think I meant it in the moment. I said it to annoy him. I said it to annoy him because he made fun of the outfit that I wore to a Tonys party. He said, You’re so casual. And I said, All right, we can talk about blah, blah, blah.

 

Louis Virtel Look what also I have to say. I know that only one of them is gay. And it’s Benj, right?

 

Ira Madison Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Here’s the thing. When they take pictures, you think it’s the other one? That’s true. It’s Benj Pasek. I also have already called them an Egot with duties because he’s Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony, and Tinder, where I have seen him routinely. So we get that representation. Good for him, etc.. Okay. Before we get into you guys, let’s circle back to James Earl Jones. Okay.

 

Ira Madison Icon.

 

Louis Virtel Please. Vocally alone. If he said hello to you from three rooms down, you would know it was him and you would be able to identify all the rules by which he is associated from everything from Darth Vader to the Lion King to being the voice of CNN. Talk about gravitas. If you haven’t seen the movie The Great White Hope, which is from 1970, which is inspired by the story of the boxer Jack Johnson, it takes place around World War One and it’s inspired by his story as he became a celebrity was with a white woman who was played by Jane Alexander and the movie. And it’s basically about the tumult that causes how it gets him thrown in jail, how he has to eventually throw a boxing match that his prison sentence might be less. And it’s very confusing in the abstract. This I mean, he opens his mouth and you just think, put him in Shakespeare. Now, like this man could not be anywhere but the stage and movies and the conviction he brings to this movie is unbelievable. It is a very bracing and bleak movie. And I really think everybody should see it. By the way, it’s 100 minutes. It’s so well done. And Jane Alexander is such an underrated fucking actress. I’ve brought up this movie before. She was later nominated for an Oscar for a movie called Testament, which takes place in a suburb. And it’s about if the nuclear apocalypse happened the three days later, what happens? And as people slowly start dying, etc., you’d be surprised how much this movie reminds you of Covid is all I’m saying. But she’s a fabulous actress. She was eventually the head of the National Endowment for the Arts in the 90s. But James Earl Jones, a second to none actor. I was watching this movie and thinking this could be nobody else but him. There was there is no second place for this role. He’s like a a genre of acting unto himself.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. You know, I mean, it was a bit of method acting as well, you know, because he was married to a white woman in real life. And I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the videos that came out this week of let’s just say that certain black straight men from the civil rights era viewed Mary White women as sort of, you know, liberation and civil rights movement. And they did not have a lot of nice things to say about black women, very much like when Eartha Kitt said that Harry Belafonte was like they never dated because he said, A black woman can never do anything for me.

 

Louis Virtel Harry Belafonte said that into a microphone, to her, to Eartha Kitt, Dayo.

 

Ira Madison Eartha Kitt. She she recounted it and she recounted the story about why she hated him.

 

Louis Virtel God. But also, let’s talk about, quote, about people. Eartha Kitt.

 

Ira Madison Look that up.

 

Louis Virtel She had a lot to say.

 

Ira Madison Yes, but there was that. And there are some recent old interviews, some from really the 70s and then some even later in life, you know, where he just specifically talks about how black women and anger and I don’t know, he had a lot going on, but he was a great actor. Sure.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison He just didn’t love assistance unless he’s playing opposite that.

 

Louis Virtel And Courtney Love that movie. My God. It’s going to be a great movie.

 

Ira Madison Great fucking.

 

Louis Virtel Movie. Diahann Carroll, 1974. Yes.

 

Ira Madison That’s a classic. I think we talked about that when Diahann Carroll died. But if you haven’t seen that, see it? I’ve long wanted to remake the film Soul Man, which he is in.

 

Louis Virtel Soul man. My God, A thrill. Spend a minute. Spend a minute. Yes. Anyway. Moving on now to gods and what’s happening with them. It does feel like we’re verging on having too many got winners at this point.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. A lot of fake yogurts.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. I don’t mean that. A shame to the people who are getting them. It’s just I think the reason we revered it and became this sort of cultural institution is because there were like 15 of them. And now when it’s moving into we’re getting into like 30 something. I don’t know. I get a little worried. But this to me is a very legitimate Egot win because these are people who have written it’s not just that they did one project that trickled in to five other. You know, it’s not like when you do an Oscar winning project and then somehow that same project becomes a Tony winning musical and that somehow becomes an Emmy winning something. I mean, La-La Land, Dear Evan Hansen, all the murders in the building have nothing to do with each other. So that is fabulous that they’ve scored on all those fronts while.

 

Ira Madison They’re all rousing.

 

Louis Virtel REM ticklers.

 

Ira Madison Yes. Yeah. There are a lot of fake egg hearts out there. I think that you and I have said before that we only support competitive egos.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah? No, no, no. I can’t. I mean, I’m sorry. Barbra Streisand. You’re not near God. That’s just the way of the world. You lost the two Tonys.

 

Ira Madison That’s it. Whoopee.

 

Louis Virtel Whoopee is an interesting situation because she has the daytime Emmy for The View. And then she produced a Tony winning musical, Thoroughly Modern Millie.

 

Ira Madison That’s my girl.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, right.

 

Ira Madison Millie. Joe Mounds is my girl.

 

Louis Virtel Are you talking specifically Sutton Foster or original recipe? Mary Tyler Moore in the movie.

 

Ira Madison While I’m not talking about me. Okay. Even though I love her. Okay. I mean, nobody throws a hat like my face, right?

 

Louis Virtel You’re you’re from Wisconsin, but Minneapolis counts as your neighbor. Okay? Yes.

 

Ira Madison My my good sis, Mary Tyler Moore. But no, I mean, Sutton Foster is spectacular in that musical. I think it actually is my favorite musical.

 

Louis Virtel Interesting.

 

Ira Madison I listen to it constantly, and I would love a revival. There’s a bunch of racist shit in it against Asian people. So I don’t know if we’ll ever see that. Although there was supposed to be a city center revival right before Covid hit starring Ashley Park.

 

Louis Virtel Ooh.

 

Ira Madison And it was supposed to, I think, you know, fix a lot of the racist stuff in it and with an Asian lead, obviously. Right, Right. But I don’t know. I just was thinking about Thoroughly Modern Millie because Rachel Ziegler just did a fantastic performance of Gimme Gimme at some live show somewhere. It was just online.

 

Louis Virtel I just saw that, too. And I almost didn’t even know it was her. She was giving so much. Not that she’s not an unimportant actress or whatever, but she’s particularly giving in this performance. Now, here’s the thing. Elton John also has gotten he got recently, and yet I am fucking dead pissed at this man right now. Do you know why?

 

Ira Madison Now, did he cancel the show?

 

Louis Virtel No. He still is giving farewell tours, so don’t even begin to pretend he’s canceling shows. Second of all, no. Somebody asked him what he thought of Donald Trump invoking the name Rocketman to describe Kim Jong un. And he said, I thought it was so funny. Donald’s been a fan of mine for years. It was the most brain dead thing I’ve ever heard him say. I do not think about Jon as stupid. It felt really not just tone deaf. Like, what planet are you on? What rocket are you writing?

 

Ira Madison He’s cheeky.

 

Louis Virtel You think he’s being cheeky?

 

Ira Madison He’s cheeky. Yeah, probably. Maybe he’s being cheeky.

 

Louis Virtel I hope that’s the case. Again, it was a very edited down clip. Like it was just whatever the 20s of him answering the question. So if there was something else said, I totally missed.

 

Ira Madison It. Wow. Speaking of noncompetitive efforts, Harry Belafonte has.

 

Louis Virtel One. He’s basically a liar. Noncompetitive. You got star liars. They’re just like, don’t trust on an ego.

 

Ira Madison I can do nothing for him.

 

Louis Virtel Quincy Jones. Somehow, anon, I guess he never did win the Oscar. I mean, honorably. Yeah. That’s tough for me too. Viola Davis, A great Egot winner, even though two of them are Fences. She has the Oscar for Reds and she also has the Tony for King Hedley the second. So I also I like the symmetry of I actually did two different August Wilson things. Another you got to have to be a little bit shady about Audrey Hepburn. The last thing she got an Emmy for that was the last award she got was her walking through some fucking gardens or something and telling you to look at flowers. And that became an Emmy winning thing for her. Absolutely not, bitch. Your brain was on a Roman holiday when you got an award for that. Absolutely not.

 

Ira Madison Gardens of the World with Audrey Hepburn.

 

Louis Virtel She said look at a hydrangea. Isn’t it pretty Emmy for me?

 

Ira Madison You know, I would say also. Now, this is my girl. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Here comes Miss Rita.

 

Ira Madison No, Jennifer Hudson.

 

Louis Virtel Oh Jennifer. Well, there’s some problems here. Yeah. It’s a little problematic.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. Okay. First of all, it should be in noncompetitive. It’s not in noncompetitive on Wikipedia. She won her Tony for producing a strange loop.

 

Louis Virtel Which I believe means you were on an email chain. I don’t understand. You’re telling me she was making decisions? There is hundreds of people. IRA and I both know people casually. And I say this with love to them because we actually do know these people who have Tonys and they are. Frauds. I mean, I am just not getting any evidence that they did a fucking thing besides show up and throw 20 grand at it.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, I mean, I do know a lot of producers who are actually, you know, on the they’re chasing pavements. Yes. Like a joke. Yeah. Okay. So they deserve it. But not everybody. Baby, Not everybody. Also. I got a bone to pick with Jennifer Hudson.

 

Louis Virtel Go ahead.

 

Ira Madison Actually, more so. A bone to pick with New Line cinemas. Do you recall when I was writing a Christmas movie for Jennifer Hudson?

 

Louis Virtel I sure do. I sure do. And then it.

 

Ira Madison Never got made, right. But now it was supposed to be her first Christmas album because it was going to be the soundtrack for the movie. And now she has a Christmas album coming out in October. But, you know, it’s not attached to it. A movie?

 

Louis Virtel I believe Matt Rogers told me when he was maybe on her show or something that because he was doing something Christmasy at the time, she said, should I do a Christmas album? And should it be should it be red and green Christmas are white Christmas as if those are two different brands of Christmas. You can put an album out, and I’ve never thought of it that way before, but that’s so true. You know what is sort of like Jingle bells chill. And the other one is more like austere, snowy Christmas. Yeah. She really put a thought in my head with that one. I was going to say something shady about Rita moreno. Now I enjoy her. I know her. Her Emmy win is for a guest appearance on The Muppet Show. Now, that’s probably one of the cooler, you know, guest appearances you can do. But you just squeaked in there, as far as I’m concerned. It’s just like because what’s happening competitively in that category on any given year, probably not that much.

 

Ira Madison It’s not like she was up against Gaga’s Muppet appearance.

 

Louis Virtel My God. Remember that?

 

Ira Madison She’s just won an Oscar for that one. Yeah, She was giving more than Jim Henson ever could have imagined. What happened on The Method Show?

 

Louis Virtel Speaking of Muppet like theatrics and Lady Gaga, can you believe that this Joker movie apparently fucking sucks?

 

Ira Madison Yes. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel I don’t mean to say I like the first joker at all, but I felt like all the ingredients going into this, that did not seem like a total possibility to me. We’ll see what happens with her this Oscar season, actually. I’m so sorry that I was shady to Rita moreno. I really should have been shady to Helen motherfucking Hayes. The first lady of the American theater. And I’ll tell you why. Her competitive Grammy. Are you ready for this? She read an audiobook. It’s called like, Great American Documents. This woman literally read the Constitution and then got a Grammy for it. What? That’s not a song. Nor is it anything.

 

Ira Madison Seems like a lot of Americans should listen to it.

 

Louis Virtel Why are you a character at a town hall meeting in 1950? Why are you in the music, man?

 

Ira Madison You know what? Just a little tidbit for our listeners who are considering getting my book. I will be recording the audiobook. Good. And I will be submitting myself for a Grammy.

 

Louis Virtel My God. I cannot wait. God, I hope you’re not up against anyone important. Jeremy Irons, This is your year to get that fucking audio book, Grammy. That’s all I’m saying.

 

Ira Madison As good as you, Brown. It’s over. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel My God. It was coming for good. Angie Brown.

 

Ira Madison We have to say that.

 

Louis Virtel Really? Weird.

 

Ira Madison Her book just came out. My editor is also doing Serena’s memoir, and I’m like, you know, I could take them on.

 

Louis Virtel And take them on. What Academy? What do you mean?

 

Ira Madison You know, my inspiration for my audio book, by the way, will be very Mariah Carey’s. Good audiobook. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel Asides with runs.

 

Ira Madison Asides. Just ramble. Just going off into things that aren’t even in the print book. I mean, that is the top tier of audio books. Did she win for that?

 

Louis Virtel No, I don’t. No, no, no. She has enough Grammys that. I’m not concerned about that. Yeah. You know what? I think the guy, in my opinion, the greatest. You got winner of all. Mike Nichols. Such a diabolical force in the theater and then in movies. And then, of course, the angels in America. He knew no bounds. And everybody loved working with him, too. In fact, he was so beloved. He has to be gay. I don’t care what Elaine May says.

 

Ira Madison You know what? I have not actually seen or listened to an evening with Mike Nichols and Elaine May.

 

Louis Virtel That would probably be a delightful listen. Yes, I love their old comedy bits. They really hold up on YouTube.

 

Ira Madison He is truly just one of my favorite directors.

 

Louis Virtel Again, he’s one of those Ang Lee people where none of these movies have anything in common other than amazing performances. And somehow you are the guiding force of everything between Working Girl and Silkwood and Wolfe and Angels in America and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf and The Graduate. I mean, there’s just no carnal knowledge. None of these have anything to do with these other.

 

Ira Madison People with varying tastes.

 

Louis Virtel Couldn’t be me. You know, it’s game shows and, you know, gay man.

 

Ira Madison That’s it. What’s the Criterion Closet for game shows? Bad ass closet.

 

Louis Virtel Like I say, I think it’s just my friend Mandela’s house. Yeah. You can just feel pulled out like an original, like $5,000 wedge from Wheel of Fortune. You’re like, that’s where it was.

 

Ira Madison Also to close out Igot I will let you know that the G and E stands for Grammy and it does not stand for CMA Awards. So Beyonce not being nominated for CMA award. I’m pretty sure she expected that also. Who gives a fuck about the CMA Awards?

 

Louis Virtel They have not crossed my mind one time, and I am sorry to say this because I know he’s like a beloved entertainer at this point. If you think Morgan Wallen is a more like important figure in music, what is wrong with you? That song with Post Malone, which I think is, by the way, a pretty good album, that Post Malone album.

 

Ira Madison It is good. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel That song, though. No dispatch. I think it sucks.

 

Ira Madison Also, somehow the song of the summer. Thanks to my streams mostly. Right. No, you’re one of those.

 

Ms. Pat How are you, this person?

 

Louis Virtel Yes.

 

Ira Madison I had some help. That bitch chorus is rollicking. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel He didn’t have enough help. My God. Please get us 911.

 

Ira Madison I was toe tapping in the bathroom. Okay. Got arrested at the airport.

 

Louis Virtel My God. Larry Craig reference. Wow. Yeah. Take her back to Kathy Griffin. My Life on the D-List.

 

Ira Madison Larry Craig happened a bit too early because right now he would probably be unlike a reality show, like he’d be on traitors or something.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Here’s how. Thank God I know he had a lot to deliver the community. I’m not talking about hands anyway.

 

Ira Madison Yes, the CMA is mean nothing. The last time I cared about the CMA was when Beyonce performed with the chicks. Yes, obviously. And I found out that the only black woman who’s won a CMA is Tracy Chapman.

 

Louis Virtel Because of a song that was not country that she wrote 35 years before that Luke Combs picked up and. Yes, exactly.

 

Ira Madison Fast car. Luke Combs, a white country singer covering it. It won a CMA. And so she want to CMA because she wrote it and said.

 

Louis Virtel Now I work in the market as a checkout girl and I’m pissed. Sorry, That’s my fast car reference for you.

 

Ira Madison All right. When we’re back. Keep it. And we’re back with our favorite segment of the episode. I’m almost done coughing in your ear. How many people have turned this episode know?

 

Louis Virtel They said, wow, this is a gag being played on me or something. They don’t even believe you’re sick.

 

Ira Madison Louis, what’s your. Keep it.

 

Louis Virtel My keep it is to something I really thought I was going to enjoy in a salacious way more than I did the limited series. The Perfect Couple.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Nicole Kidman has only done this to me a couple of times where she takes a really high profile project and I guess character and doesn’t deliver something deeper and more interesting. I’m thinking of course about that Aquaman shit where she made me sit and watch. Girl no.

 

Ira Madison Both of them.

 

Louis Virtel It’s like when Cate Blanchett made me see that Thor Ragnarok movie and I’m still the most livid fag who ever lived.

 

Ira Madison Now, you didn’t call her out about that.

 

Louis Virtel Well, we only had limited time, and I needed her to like me. I think that’s understood. Yeah, but on the show. Okay, I understand that in the wake of White Lotus, we want to watch, like, bad people in expensive places or whatever. But I just. I just thought it was a big round of somebody’s notes about what they wanted to see in a TV show. Literally those two things. It’s kind of star studded cast. It wasn’t about anything. This is a six episode show, like 60 Minutes apiece, where we’re just waiting for the main character, Eve Houston, who seems miserable throughout the show, like getting around all these other characters to figure out who murdered Megan Fahy, who is, I think, maybe the best person on the show. If actually I’ll say this about perfect couple. Affirmation of Megan Fahey’s talents. Looking forward to more of her. But Nicole Kidman is this famous author who lives in Nantucket on this wonderful estate. I actually think she was miscast. I needed this character to be a bit trickier than what she gave someone. More like a Laurie Metcalf, somebody who you can see them being in charge of like a publishing enterprise, but then also an obvious dark side. I felt like Nicole didn’t play the Darkness dark enough. And by the way, as we know, this is a weirdo woman who can go there on a in any kind of movie. So I know she was capable of it. Watch to die for a God. We know how dark it gets. So I was just disappointed with this. Dakota Fanning Not bad on it. I guess it’s just if it’s going to be this pulpy and this much of an airport book as it literally was, it’s one of those books you buy at the airport, make it a movie. I just don’t need it to be a limited series.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, I agree. I watched very little of it before I interviewed her.

 

Louis Virtel But what did you think of her?

 

Ira Madison I mean, she’s fantastic. Yes. That was such a fantastic interview to be on a Zoom with Nicole Kidman in your Fire island house. Bizarro is truly bizarro. Also, just, you know, a friend was sitting there working. And so we were hearing the entire interview just mouth agape. And then another friend walked through the kitchen to get something. She was like, Who’s that? Have them come join us. And my friend was like, I cannot. And then he ran away.

 

Louis Virtel I’m sure I brought this up and Keep It before. One time I went to a screening of that movie Destroyer, and I heard she would be there for a Q&A. And then the lights came up and nobody was there. So I went to the lobby, like upset, and she was just there waiting to hang out with people and speak to them. Excuse me.

 

Ira Madison Yes, that was her. After the boy erased premiere, too, she’s just chillin. She loves people.

 

Louis Virtel Australians. What is it about them? Why are they so hopeful about the human race? It makes me suspicious.

 

Ira Madison Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Ira, what is your Keep It this week?

 

Ira Madison Okay, my keep it this week goes to I don’t even know where to begin, but I have been watching The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu.

 

Louis Virtel What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?

 

Ira Madison First of all, this show might save reality TV. Louis.

 

Louis Virtel What?

 

Ira Madison Yes. Okay. Because I think that we have gotten to a point where, especially with Real Housewives or something, where we were sick of people just cravenly thirsting for attention, but pretending that they’re not right. This is. You already know they’re part of Montauk, which was this group of women in Salt Lake City who were dancing together on Tik Tok and talking about their lives and then had a soft swinging scandal. Saw swinging is everything but intercourse.

 

Louis Virtel Help me, God. Okay. That really took me a bit. Go ahead.

 

Ira Madison So we already know that they are thirsty, you know? They want to be famous. And so, like, they’re very blatant about it on this show. And so I think that that helps because these people are so wild. There is this woman, Taylor, who’s sort of the ostensible lead, who in the first episode gets drunk, fights with her new boyfriend, and we cut to body cam footage of her being arrested. And then we cut to 11 months after Taylor’s arrest. And then there’s this woman, Whitney, who’s just sort of like wicked. But I just want to say, keep it to the sad life that her husband, Connor Levitt, is enduring on the show. He had a scandal where apparently he was on Tinder talking to other women. And I don’t want to join the chorus of people online guessing about a man’s sexuality. But it does not feel like he was on Tinder. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel For one, you don’t want to speculate, but yeah.

 

Ira Madison I don’t want to speculate.

 

Louis Virtel Getting his Christian tangles elsewhere. You’re saying? Yeah.

 

Ira Madison Watching him on the show, it’s kind of devastating.

 

Louis Virtel And it’s like. It’s, like, awkward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s strange. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t feel bad for, you know, a man existing in the Mormon universe who’s married. This woman. But I don’t know. The patriarchy. Whatever. It’s. I feel bad for him also. So throughout the series, he has more looks than his wife. Literally different hairdos, different outfits. Diana Ross. He’s giving Housewives. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like there’s he is unrecognizable scene to scene. And I’m like, maybe that. And people are speculating that so that he wouldn’t be recognized while he’s on whatever app he’s on. But now I’m like, You’ve been put on this show, so now you can’t do that without fear of someone talking about what you’re doing on an app publicly, right? Yeah. He’s essentially trapped now. And I feel like that was Whitney’s sort of game for this, you know, now you’re trapped. Now you can’t do whatever you were doing in private before because people will expose it because now you’re on TV.

 

Louis Virtel Well, that sounds gross.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, I feel bad for him.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, but unfortunately, it does also sound compulsively watchable. You kind of are making me want to tune in.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. I’m going to keep watching it.

 

Louis Virtel I think you more successfully sold this to me than I sold Beetlejuice to you.

 

Ira Madison It’s. It’s kind of fantastic.

 

Louis Virtel Is it.

 

Ira Madison Bravo. No, it’s Hulu. It jumps right in.

 

Louis Virtel All right. Mormons, I. I grew up with a couple of Mormons when there was, like, six Mormon siblings in a family. They are always utterly identical. I don’t know how Mormons do that. Is it? I don’t want to speculate. I’ll go ahead and speculate. Is it incest going on.

 

Ira Madison In your family?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, I would love to know.

 

Ira Madison Also, the woman Whitney I was talking about with the husband. There was scandal last year because her baby was in the ICU and she did a tik-tok dance in an ICU with her baby.

 

Louis Virtel Help me, God. Right. Right.

 

Ira Madison So these four.

 

Louis Virtel Faces I.

 

Ira Madison Want to be famous for desperately.

 

Louis Virtel I lost control of my limbs. I feel like I. I can’t believe I have to even react to that.

 

Ira Madison It’s specifically, you know, those dances where someone’s dancing and they’re pointing and like, the captions come up on the screen because they’re answering questions. Those insane Tik tok dances. She’s doing that over her baby who’s resting there in an ICU.

 

Louis Virtel Brigham Young doesn’t want that.

 

Ira Madison Joseph Smith said, no, this was a fake. I keep it. I want everybody to watch this show.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, okay. I’m joining right n I’m joining. Right. And I’m joining the Tabernacle Choir.

 

Ira Madison Thank you to Ms.. Pat for joining us. Thank you To our listeners who are still listening to this.

 

Louis Virtel Maybe the bravest people we’ve ever met.

 

Ira Madison Yeah, We’ll see you next week.

 

Louis Virtel And maybe I’ll have an Emmy.

 

Ira Madison Yeah. And if not an Emmy, maybe a special guest.

 

Louis Virtel Okay.

 

Ira Madison Don’t forget to follow Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok.

 

Louis Virtel You can also subscribe to keep it on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content. And if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review.

 

Ira Madison Keep It is a Crooked Media production. Our producer is Chris Lord and our associate producer is Kennedy Hill. Our executive producers are Ira Madison, III, Louis Virtel, and Kendra James.

 

Louis Virtel Our digital team is Megan Patsel, Claudia Shang and Rachel Gaieski. This episode was recorded and mixed by Evan Sutton. Thank you to Matt DeGroot, David Toles, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landes for production support every week.