TRANSCRIPT

Ira Madison III [AD].

 

Ira Madison III And we are back with an all new episode of Keep It. I’m Ira Madison, the third. And unfortunately, last week was Louis’s last episode and he’s out. So welcome our new co-host, Jay Jergen.

 

Jay Jurden Hello! How are you doing, Ira?

 

Ira Madison III This works because it’s April Fool’s Day today!

 

Jay Jurden Tomorrow, someone’s going to be shook. I’m in my seat, like, I don’t think going to Germany means he got he’s like he’s

 

Ira Madison III Oh, you’ve been seeing the Berlin photos.

 

Jay Jurden He went, that’s a pilgrimage, okay? That’s a hush, okay.

 

Ira Madison III That is a religious trip. A white gay pilgrimage. That’s the Mecca.

 

Jay Jurden Listen, Ramadan just ended and now he gets to eat.

 

Ira Madison III Or he gets eight, whichever one. Eat Mubang Rai.

 

Jay Jurden HAHAHAHAHAHA Listen, hey, hey you need to chill out Habibi, okay? This is a very culturally inclusive episode already. Look at us.

 

Ira Madison III Last time you were here, they were like, you know, it got a little, got a lil’ ethnic.

 

Jay Jurden Well, also, because then we brought Tori Kelly and we’re like, Tori Kelly. We’re like Tori Kelly, as a black woman. And she’s like, you’re right, you right.

 

Ira Madison III Tori. Do you know you’re black?

 

Jay Jurden She knows.

 

Ira Madison III She knew.

 

Jay Jurden Tori Kelly did that thing where she was like, I did my 23 and me, y’all. And turns out I’m this much sub-Saharan African. And every black person was like girl, we’ve heard the songs.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, okay, unlike when Demi Lovato was like, and I’m 1% African.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, Demi- Hey, hey, come on Demetria Lovato, come on, Niger Princess Demi Lovado, West African Queen, Demila Afrobeats icon, come

 

Ira Madison III Speaking of another black icon, before we get into the episode, did you listen to the new Ari?

 

Jay Jurden Oh my goodness, because Dandelion, she said plant the seed and I said, we’re back. We’re back! We’re back.

 

Ira Madison III Thank you, thank you. We’re Back. Black Yana was back and I just want to let the girls know, my friends were asking, wait, is this song really given all that? And I was like, baby, have you listened to the lyrics to Dandelion? Oh my God. She says. Say it. Preach, preacher. I got what you need. I’m thinking you should plant this seed. Yes, it’s springtime. I get this sounds unserious, but baby boy, this is serious.

 

Jay Jurden Oh, I’m obsessed. It’s it’s literally it’s like one of those songs that definitely is a jump to a jump because the song is about fertilizing her garden so she can grow a dandelion so you can make a wish for whatever you want. Blow on it. Blow, blow on it! Blow on to the center of the… Ariana, I was listening to it at night and I was like, oh, this is like nasty. This is nasty

 

Ira Madison III And she starts with that Ma Rainey’s black bottom horn.

 

Jay Jurden Yes, my re- what you call me? Watch yourself. We know you’re versed. Thank you! Well versed, in Ariana. Listen, and this is a long tradition of songs about insemination. We have Honey by Mariah Carey. We have Love Come Down. There are so many songs where women get to kind of show off, speaking of Berlin, they’re breeding kinks. And I’m so. happy. And a lot of people are like, oh, aren’t you, isn’t it tough because it’s Spongebob? I’m not thinking about Ethan right now. I’m thinking about Ariana Grande. And whatever she’s envisioning, that’s what I’m going to enjoy. It’s great. It is so good.

 

Ira Madison III He is a straight man in theater, okay? He knows how to put it down.

 

Jay Jurden He knows how to put it down. And you wanna know something else? If you are a redhead and you have made it that far in life, I just know you can fuck. I’m sorry. They’re going extinct. They’re endangered as a people. So he is actually, he’s actually a key indicator species. He’s trying to make sure there are more redheads in the future. Are you listening to Red Hot Instagram page? He’s tryna make more. Pepper Anne, Pepper Anne. Much too cool for seventh grade. Pepper Anne!

 

Ira Madison III So are you also saying that Ed Sheeran knows how to put it down?

 

Jay Jurden Ed Sheeran can put it down. I saw him dance in that video.

 

Ira Madison III Oh, that’s- that’s true!

 

Jay Jurden Ed Sheeran had a song called Two Step, he had an original release and then on the remix he put Lil Baby on there. Ed Sheerin, there is a Nigerian or Jamaican princess in London that knows Ed Sheering can put it down. I guarantee.

 

Ira Madison III Shape of you was his I like my girls BBW.

 

Jay Jurden A skinny woman can’t do them, but pull me to a big girl.

 

Ira Madison III Okay, Nikki never fucked Drake, she never fucked Wade, but let’s ask about Ed.

 

Speaker 4 Oh

 

Jay Jurden God, the complaints about it being ethnic, y’all were right, we’re here already.

 

Ira Madison III We’re here already. Well, this is gonna be a fun episode because first of all, Lewis is gone, which means we can talk about Marvel.

 

Jay Jurden Uh, no, I mean, doesn’t he like, they got Julia Louis-Dreyfus doing stuff. He likes Marvel. He likes the, he likes the talent Marvel gets and we can talk about Marvel.

 

Ira Madison III He watched Thor Ragnarok because Cate Blanchett was in it and he regretted it.

 

Jay Jurden Okay, Blanchette. That’s when she was like going to drag shows and stuff. I thought her as Hella was amazing. I love Marvel. And that’s why the announcement this past weekend, week rather, was insane. It was insane to watch. But it also, it felt like a party full invite. I’m sorry, Russo Brothers, I love your work. I love you work. Listen, sometimes I need to waste three hours. a live stream, which is, that’s crazy. And you know what? I did watch a lot of them, but Ira, me and you both got excited for the same section of the reveal.

 

Ira Madison III Well, we’re gonna get to that. And then we’re also gonna talk about internet shows. But listen, I mean, first of all, Pop the Balloon, as you know, is a very famous show. Famous, we think famous. Well, it’s hood famous.

 

Jay Jurden Okay, it’s hood famous, you’re right. All right It’s hood famous. It gets checks on the first and the 15th. It can go to WIC and get some cheese if that’s what you’re asking.

 

Ira Madison III Well, now it’s going to Netflix, and so we’re going to talk about that show. We’re going talk about other Internet shows. I’m sure there’s a few you have thoughts on. I’ve seen your tweets. So we’ll get to that. And then also, Elizabeth Moss is here with us this week. Now, Jay, is she black?

 

Jay Jurden Uh, no, but she is a woman going through stuff. So on the show, she goes through some stuff.

 

Ira Madison III Listen, I’ve seen the Handmaid’s Tale, and the most disrespected woman in America is the Black woman, but also Elizabeth Moss.

 

Jay Jurden Yes, yes, yes.

 

Ira Madison III And in Mad Men 2, they did her dirty.

 

Jay Jurden Well, the thing about Mad Men is it really was such an important piece of TV history. And it did, I mean, truly shifted the way people even thought about AMC, that and Breaking Bad. But I think that, I think, that her character in Mad Men is so different from the characters that she’s played since. When you see a body work like that, you have to be like, OK, girl, you can act. Because every now and then you go, she can act, yeah. And also, once again, they’d be putting her through it. I would, my husband will be watching episodes of Handmaid’s Tale and I would go, we are really abusing ourselves. I’m like, we need a break. I need a brake. I need to break.

 

Ira Madison III And then it turned out he was just watching CNN.

 

Jay Jurden I said, Jeffrey Toobin, put your dick away.

 

Ira Madison III Put it away! So we will be right back with more Keep It.

 

[AD]

 

Ira Madison III And let’s get into it starting with big IP, big sequel, Avengers Doomsday.

 

Jay Jurden Sequel to a sequel to a Sequel, to a Recasting, to a sequel. I love Robert Downey Jr. He’s one of my favorite Romani people. So he’s playing he’s playing Victor Von Doom in Doom’s Day, Avengers Doom’s was was kind of like thrown at audiences as like, oh, this is going to be the Secret Wars battle world, big, multiversal kind of end game for this iteration of Marvel that will be a game changer. And we thought, oh maybe we’ll introduce the X-Men. We got confirmation because they started rolling out the chairs. We saw a bunch of people we already knew, but when Patrick Stewart’s chair was announced, not the yellow floating chair, but probably. I put my fingers to my temples and I said to me, my X-Men and the rest of them showed up. Ira, I was happy. I was, I would listen every now and then I’m like, I want to make art. Oh, I hate the fact you have to be tick tock famous and ask people what they do for a living to get any sort of traction in this industry. And these people say they’re funny, but they really aren’t. But whenever I see, whenever I, whenever, I see Rebecca Romain Stamos in blue paint, I’m okay. You know what? Do whatever you want to do. Do whatever you want to do, please. I don’t care. I don’ care.

 

Ira Madison III But the introduction of the X-Men into the cast was fantastic because we didn’t get any recasts. We got original X-men. We have Ian McKellen. We have Patrick Stewart. We have Alan Cumming. We have Rebecca Romaine, James Marston. And thanks to Deadpool Wolverine, they’re finally carting out Channing Tatum again as Gambit.

 

Jay Jurden Hey, Channing Tatum, he put them Instagram pictures up. He said, y’all going to do something with this. He said I just went through a breakup. Y’all gonna do something. With this, I can’t play. I can play Lenny Kravitz in my house no more. No, no. Y’al you gonna do some with that. Hey, I’m about to make a name for myself here. OK, this is the other thing that made me really excited. James Marsden. has had, like, all these, like really cool opportunities since Cyclops. But X3, and they kind of helped us in Days of Future Past at the very end, with the kind of epilog. I’m really excited for James Marsden. I love James Mars, and I think he’s such a charming and delightfully talented actor when it comes to, like both being, like a lovable everyman, but also he’s so fucking handsome and he’s sweet. I’m so excited to see him in Cyclops, even if I know they’re going to get rid of him or something like that. I’m really excited for James Marsden, and he’s amazing. He was amazing as Corny Collins, he’s as amazing as Scott Summers.

 

Ira Madison III He is a singer, by the way. Like he is so fucking good as a singer. Enchanted and hairspray. Yes, I love James Marsden. And I’m like, I need, I’m always waiting for James Mars and Renaissance.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah. Also, Alan Cummings is back. This is what I’m going to say about Alan Cumming. I love a teleporter. OK.

 

Ira Madison III He is so good and that is the reason why X2 is like.

 

Jay Jurden He steals the show!

 

Ira Madison III It’s just X2 from the jump is a perfect film. And I love that movie and I love Alan Cumming in it. And it is also so fun now to see Alan Cummings coming back as Nightcrawler because Alan Cummming wasn’t really giving you faggot before and now Alan Cummin is sashaying around the Trader’s castle.

 

Jay Jurden Yes. Come on, Kurt Wagner. Kurt Wagner will be in Berlin. OK, that tale has many uses. No, um, I think it was like a really cool rollout. I think it’s huge. I think it’s a tent pole venture for Marvel. They are putting, I mean, they need it truly the amount of assistance that’s going to be needed. This is this is in it’s one of the biggest swings I’ve ever seen in my entire life. But if done correctly, I think there will be a big big payoff. It is wild how there are only like two movies a year now. And that’s going to definitely be one of them.

 

Ira Madison III It is sort of do or die for them. Oh, it’s doomsday. It’s doomday. I don’t wanna be rude here, but I saw Captain America Brave New World.

 

Jay Jurden Wait, wait a second. You talking about, you talking about the one where the president turns into a crazy red monster, the red horse.

 

Ira Madison III That was also seeing.

 

Jay Jurden God, okay, my bad, my back, my bag, my my bag. What is that, you talking about when the president turned into an angry red man and he was trying to punch a black man for trying to live in America? You talking about, wait a second. What was I watching? Was that the news or was it, I’m confused.

 

Ira Madison III I watched that movie and I said, Marvel has lost the plot.

 

Jay Jurden I’m a Marvel apologist, I’m bad, I mean it, I’ve drank the Kool-Aid, speaking of the studio, I have drank the kool-aid, there’s so many heroes, if they told me they were gonna do a Stiltman movie, I’d be like, y’all give it a shot, give it shot.

 

Ira Madison III You know what I would love a stilt man because I know who’s gonna be still man Kevin Hart

 

Jay Jurden I’m kidding. I’m sorry, Kevin. I was all right, Kevin, I’m

 

Ira Madison III We all know I have a Spider-Man tattoo. That was my first tattoo. I loved Spider-man back issues in high school. I remember finding an issue with a stilt man on the fucking cover. And I was like, who is this nigga?

 

Jay Jurden And the best part is, there is a point when you’re a Marvel fan where you go, well, they just put anybody on the cover now. And you know what? That makes you feel so seen as a little black queer boy. Because you go they might put me on the cover one day. Still, man, if still man can make it, baby, I can make

 

Ira Madison III They did that, that one issue too. Remember what that issue was, like the little black kid, it was like he thought Spider-Man was black.

 

Jay Jurden Oh, yes. Yes. Also, there’s so many other Spider-Man and the Spider because they just also announced Spider-man brand new day. So that’s coming out. So listen, Tom Zendaya. Behave yourselves. OK, no hanky panky. I don’t need no, oh, we’re going to delay it. Listen, kids, you’re virgins until you’re married, okay? I don’ need nothing getting in the way of this. Y’all need to behave yourselves. I know, she’s beautiful. You keep your hands off, baby girl. Me and Ira are the gay uncles. Hey, I don’t know what y’all do, but y’alls sleep in separate beds when y’alling come to visit us. I know y’a’ll grown. Nah, hear you not. Keep your hands of.

 

Ira Madison III It’s funny too, because we actually don’t see, there was no announcement for a Spider-Man in Avengers Doomsday.

 

Jay Jurden He in it.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, he’s probably gonna be in it. First of all, they know that his ass can’t keep any secret.

 

Jay Jurden Ha ha ha ha

 

Ira Madison III They kept him, they kept him offset.

 

Jay Jurden OK, so there’s another famous actor who cannot keep a secret. You know who did it? Mark Ruffalo. Mark Ruffle, remember the very famous video? Don Cheadle. This is why I do love Don. Don Chedle literally is representative of so many audiences because Mark Rufalo said, well, you know, everyone dies. And Don Cchedle went, no, that’s no, no. Mark, you crazy. That’s funny. And Mark Raffalo went, wait, I’ll be there. Uh, yeah, yeah. No. And don’t you know what, Mark? Are you for real? That almost happened with Jason Momoa. Jason Momova, he got cast as Lobo, and he’s going to do the new James Gunn’s, the Superman movie. And he was doing an interview for the Minecraft movie and this man literally grabbed his phone and was like, you want to see some on-set photos? And the publicist literally had to intercept it and go, no. You big, sexy, dumb Hawaiian, what’s wrong with you? Stop it!

 

Ira Madison III To be fair, I would love to see some pictures from the set of him as Lobo, just because I feel like you need anything to help a DC movie at this point.

 

Jay Jurden It is funny, me and Ira, we gon’ shoot on Marvel, but the person we gon shoot on more.

 

Ira Madison III DC.

 

Jay Jurden Cause Davis Osloff just said, and I quote, Oh, we’re going to focus on big IP. And I said, like Superman, baby, who is letting you talk more? You’re the president of Warner Brothers, a company that has owned all of the rights to DC since the 90s. And you’re saying now we want to focus on bigbudget.p. What are you talking about? You’ve been focusing on big budget.p? What does that mean? You had the Justice League movie. You revamped a second DC verse for this go around in the movies. What are, you talking, you’re talking about cause of Mar, cause of Barbie? Yes, we liked it. Why are you telling us to… I can’t get started on that, man. Primarily because I want HBO special, but I truly cannot get started on that man. I cannot get start on that, man.

 

Ira Madison III My, Ty Sunderland, DJ, was recently putting on his Instagram. He was rewatching, speaking of Brian Singer, Superman Returns.

 

Jay Jurden James Marsden!

 

Ira Madison III James Mars that Parker Posey.

 

Jay Jurden Parker Posey! Come on! Where Parker Pose went? Krypton! Kal-El!

 

Ira Madison III It’d be a lot better than White Lotus. Well, we talked about that last week, and we got dragged in the YouTube comments, okay? The Marvel fans are probably gonna be worse.

 

Jay Jurden But the Marvel fans are going to like us because we know ball. They’re going to be like, well, they actually know comic books and actually know the movies because we didn’t say nothing. We didn’t see anything crazy. We’re behaving ourselves.

 

Ira Madison III The White Lotus fans, by the way, I just want to get this out of the way. Say it. Because there was some comments last week where people were like, well, you two don’t like the slow burn of this season because you’re addicted to TikTok. You’re addicted fast stories. I’m like, first of all, bitch. The slow shit I watch on the Criterion channel every fucking night, okay? I watch days of our lives, okay. I’m used to a slow ass story that is going nowhere.

 

Jay Jurden Cause wait a minute. First of all, what I heard was that you called me young and thank you. Thank you for that. If you think I’m addicted to TikTok. Secondly, people are, if it’s been three seasons of a show, one of the three seasons is going to be the third best season. Right. There’s no malice in that. You’re not even sitting up saying people shouldn’t watch it. You’re saying, oh, it’s kind of slow. Oh, it was kind of OK. Yeah. I mean, jerk off already. Do it. What are we waiting for? Come on. I don’t like that reaction only because, like, you’re cultured. They’re saying this to you.

 

Ira Madison III But they don’t know. They don’t They see people on YouTube and people just be getting on and Everybody has a podcast now. Okay? Everybody. Every celebrity, every singer, every person. It’s like every time you see somebody on the news too, it’s always like a host of Blake podcast. And I was like, God damn, that’s why I wrote a book. It can’t be on my tombstone. I’m sorry.

 

Jay Jurden Listen, write a book. If you can’t write a book, read a book if you can read a book. See, that’s the problem. Do crowd work. Oh, the crowd work situation. I’m getting so much over say this, the crowd situation actually pisses me off when people go, oh, they’re saving their material. They don’t want to burn their material and then two years later they put out special. I go, was this the material they were saving? This is what they say.

 

Ira Madison III You don’t have to drag Hannah Berner like that. I’m dragging everybody. I’m draggin’ everybody. Before we move on to the studio, I just wanna lastly say too, what I’m very excited about for Avengers Doomsday is, and I get a lot of flack for this, from other gays who are Marvel fans. Maybe the straight boys are into the Fantastic Four, but when I say I’m excited for the upcoming Fantastic Four movie, that I love the Fantastic four down. The Fantastic Four was my first family. literally, before the Avengers, before X-Men. So I’m excited that Vanessa Kirby’s in this movie, as Sue Storm, I’m exciting for Victor Von Doom, I’m exited for maybe we’ll get a little taste of him in Fantastic Four, but I’m also happy that the villain is Galactus, because I’m sick of a Fantastic Four movie with just Doctor Doom in it.

 

Jay Jurden And you know what? I’m glad that you said that because they were the first family of Marvel. They come out 62. X-Men don’t come out until 63. 61. 61. 61. Here’s something that I like think that people forget. People go, oh, the Fantastic Four is boring. Before we had any like cool like superpower, like all these like multiversal films, we got two pretty good Fantastic Four movies. We got blonde Jessica Alba, we got a blonde Latina, we’ve got Susan Storm.

 

Ira Madison III When you get Jessica Alba cocking her head, doing her little, you know, her force field. Her force field against my man from Nip-Tuck.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah. Hey, also, also if you don’t like the fantastic four, anti-semitic, the most famous Jewish superhero, Ben Graham and then Kitty Pratt, I think. But like, Ben Grim is the most famous Jewish superhero. I think, I thing, uh, Evelyn’s doing it, right? Yeah. He’s going to be amazing. He is very, he’s going to very funny in it. My take on the Fantastic Four is people are haters if it’s not like the MCU as established or the X-Men because they go, oh, this is like a new thing I’m having to fold in. They’re great. They have a great rogue gallery. They have great family dynamic. They have a son

 

Ira Madison III They maybe have the best, one of the best rogue gallery outside of like Batman, to be honest. And Spider-Man, and Spider-man, Batman, and Fantastic Four.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, and because if you read the comic books, do that. I did this not because I wanted to rule the world. I just wanted to piss off. Read. If you don’t know the comic book history, Dr. Doom delivered their daughter, Valeria. He was the doctor who made sure Sue Storm didn’t lose her life delivering that baby. And he said, first of all, she’s my grandchild now. That’s my godbaby. It’s best friend beef, okay? She’s my Goddaughter. And she can come visit Blackberry or whenever she wants. She has a past. She’s good in this hood. Secondly, Reed, I still don’t like you. I still done like.

 

Ira Madison III Cause really they wanna fuck, to be honest. That’s my theory. Reed and Victor, that’s a love story. Sue’s in the way.

 

Jay Jurden Wake this up because they have a child together. Very Lex and Superman, Doom and Reed have a child together and that child is Valeria. If that’s his godchild and that’s Reed’s biological daughter and she goes to see Dr. Doom all the time, they have to go parent.

 

Ira Madison III The first gay couple in Marvel was actually Victor and Reed.

 

Jay Jurden Dr. Doom is saying, hey, I need my visitation. Dr. Doom is DDG. Dr. Doom is DDG. I wanna see my child. You know, you know, my baby dad trippin’ talking about I don’t got custody. I run a country.

 

Ira Madison III So I’m actually very excited for Avengers Doomsday. No matter what I think of Brave New World and the previous Marvel movies, I’m very excited about Dooms Day. I’m glad the Russo brothers are back where they belong doing Marvel IP and not their own films.

 

Jay Jurden And you know what, Russo Brothers, sneak another gay in. Have another gay be sad at a group therapy meeting. It’s going to be a postal worker. A postal worker’s going be like, well, you know, when I was delivering these gay ass letters, I thought, hmm, what’s Dr. Doom up to?

 

Ira Madison III Speaking of IP, the studio is on Apple TV, and Apple TV is the best in the game.

 

Jay Jurden Listen, as a former employee, you right, you’re not wrong, they be cooking up some good stuff. Keep buying phones, keep buying computers, keep making TV.

 

Ira Madison III And Tim Cook is sort of one of the lesser evil of the billionaires ruining our lives.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, yeah, yeah. I try my best not to speak ill of other Southern sissies, especially ones who went to SEC schools. And you know what? Whenever Tim Cook finds out that Apple is making TV shows, he’s going to be so excited.

 

Ira Madison III He has no idea, he has no ide-

 

Jay Jurden Because I think a gay man who went to Auburn is going to love The Morning Show. It’s Jennifer Aniston.

 

Ira Madison III That’s T, that’s T. And the studio is, Slow Horses is my actual jam on Apple TV, but this is maybe gonna turn out to be one of my favorite TV shows. I was rewatching Entourage as I want to do, the male sex in the city. More people need to be watching that. Hey, everyone listen.

 

Jay Jurden Straight listeners, an ally. An ally, you have an ally in Ira Madison.

 

Ira Madison III I would recap the fuck out of entourage for parkas, just like the Sex of the City people do. I love that show. Jeremy Piven.

 

Jay Jurden I love Jeremy Piven has famously done nothing wrong.

 

Ira Madison III Jeremy’s his man!

 

Jay Jurden Eat some sushi. Eat some Sushi& Co.

 

Ira Madison III out again. Jeremy Piven, by the way, is connected to Elizabeth Moss in the fact that they were both in Speed the Plow by David Mamet. Well, except you remember Jeremy Pivin left. That’s what I just referenced. That’s what I just referenced.

 

Jay Jurden You can’t eat that much sushi. You eat sushi every day.

 

Ira Madison III But the studio is Seth Rogen, is starring as a studio head who is basically working for Zazlov. Yes, and Bryan Cranston. Yes, he is replacing Katherine O’Hara who was fired from her job and then scams her way, blackmails her way into a producer role at the studio. and The show starts out with Seth getting the job and Cranston is basically just like, we have Kool-Aid as IP. I want to make a shit ton of money like Barbie and you need to find someone to direct this. And they get Nick Stoller playing himself because. And I already keep going.

 

Jay Jurden I was like, they would, they can’t.

 

Ira Madison III doing this, they kept going. Nick Stoller is playing himself and he comes up with a pitch for Kool-Aid man, but then Seth meets with Martin Scorsese, playing himself, who has a pitch for a movie about Drone Town, which as we know, they drink the Kool Aid and die in the end. And so he tries to get Scorsesi to direct the Kul-Aide movie and. It just turns into a beautiful mess. It is, I brought up Entourage because it is people playing themselves. It’s sending up Hollywood, but it’s so biting and it’s funny. I’m like, whoever is running shit at Apple knows that they are actually running shit well, to be honest, because they’re making fun of everybody else who does not know what the fuck they’re doing. They’re making of like Acme, Warner versus Acme.

 

Jay Jurden Yes, Wile E. Coyote.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, it’s the Wile E. Coyote movie that David Zaslav buried at Warner Brothers, which is now finally getting released by Ketchup Studios.

 

Jay Jurden Justice for Wil Forte. We love you, Wil Forté.

 

Ira Madison III It makes fun of that in the fact that, basically, they end up, spoiler alert, having to buy Scorsese’s film, Jonestown, so they can bury it so that it won’t compete with the Kool-Aid movie, and it’s just so funny. The second episode has Sarah Polly playing herself, and what I love about the show, too, is it sends up studio execs who are shitty and just wanna make money, right? Seth Rogen’s character is also a send-up of a studio exec who loves movies, they love directors, they think that they are the hero who’s going to save movies, and at every turn he is fucking up people’s movie sets.

 

Jay Jurden Fucking up people’s movie sets, a constant people pleaser, a liar, every person in the industry who’s ever said this to me, Jay, they love you. Could you get more followers? I cannot tell you there is a better time to watch this movie if you’re in the industry. If you’re outside of the industry, you’re also going to love it because it’s funny. It’s Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg teaming up together again. They do everything great together. This is why we love Superbad. This is what we love the stories that Seth Rogan chooses to tell. He’s so fucking funny in it. And I mean, there’s an unsung there’s unsung heroine who is also in it, do you know who I love? Dwayne Perkins. Dwayne Perkins. And who’s at that? Who’s at the table with Dwayn Perkins? Who? Catherine Hahn is acting a damn fool in every episode.

 

Ira Madison III Catherine Han, in the first episode, she runs publicity at the studio. When Seth Rogen tells her that Bart Scorsese is going to do a Jonestown movie with the Kool-Aid IP, she loses her shit. And I wanna tell you, in this scene, she is Gucci down.

 

Jay Jurden Gucci with a vest. Wearing a Gucci vest inside. A real Housewives of New York level vest. Well, the thing is, it’s more like it’s Solid City-esque.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, it’s very, like I said, it is very Angie.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, I don’t know what temperature it has to be to wear that vest inside, but with a short sleeve shirt and a hat, a visor, if I’m not mistaken, Gucci down. Truly like Logomania, think Cameron in the Oh Boy video. Yes. I love Catherine Hahn being unhinged because she’s doing this shit that like you hear about later when you go, who threw a phone? She’s kind of doing that thing that people, and I’ve had moments where I’ve seen someone act like this, or I’ve been close to someone and they told me a story about a person saying, oh, well, this is the deal. And like literally on the other end of the phone, you hear, what the fuck did you just say? And you’re like, oh my gosh, that’s hilarious.

 

Ira Madison III It is such a good show to be watching right now if you’re in the industry, just because it’s a reminder of how just every facet of it sucks and it’s insane to believe that anything good ever gets made.

 

Jay Jurden Oh, and it’s also like, it’s funny because it’s self-effacing, but it’s so funny because there’s so many just funny, classic comedy moments. I think it knows its voice very early. It knows what it wants to do. It knows where it wants the punch. It knows, like, Ike Barinholtz is also very funny in it.

 

Ira Madison III He’s always so fucking funny. Charlize Theron pops up in the first episode. And by the way, I love Seth and Charlize’s movie Long Shot.

 

Jay Jurden Oh, which is sort of about this world a little bit, because it’s like he starts dating someone way more famous and hotter than him, right? Isn’t that that movie?

 

Ira Madison III Yes, he is a speech writer.

 

Jay Jurden Oh, yeah. I like Charlize Theron. Listen, in regards to Charlize Theron, we need better white African representation.

 

Ira Madison III She is the one to defeat Elon Musk. Yeah, please. Listen, shout out to at Charlize Africa, which used to be her Twitter name.

 

Jay Jurden No. No, no, no.

 

Ira Madison III It was, Charlize Africa. Also, I love her so much, even though she did unfollow me on Twitter back in the day. I think she had followed me at once because she probably found me funny. And then at one point she was probably like, this nigga is stupid. And then the unfollow happened.

 

Jay Jurden At one point she probably was like, ooh, was that an accidental retweet of some booty? Okay, let me.

 

Ira Madison III But the last thing I wanna say about Seth and Evan Goldberg to tie us back into the Avengers Tuesday Convo is, I told this to Seth when I met him once, the green hornet is fucking underrated, okay? And DC. If you want to be making good movies, you need to be going the Iron Man. You need to going the Fantastic Four route. Stop focusing on fucking Superman. Stop focusing Wonder Woman, because we saw 1984 and I don’t need to see her ever again. Okay, Gal Gadot away, okay? I do not need to her. Unless you’re recasting Wonder Woman I do need to not see her. But The Green Hornet was so fucking funny. It’s an underrated film and we need to doing more shit like that.

 

Jay Jurden I mean, you know, I say maybe they’re going to do it. Maybe they’re not. Whenever I hear about, oh, maybe they’ll do a booster gold film. OK, maybe. They’ll do like an actual swamp thing film that’s about the green. Maybe they do an animal man film that about the red. OK, I like that. I like these higher concepts. They’re crushing it. Harley Quinn’s amazing show. They always kind of like figure that part of DC. Animation always figures it out. This animation is a mainstay and we’ll always figure it out. Literally, my TikTok is just full of people just showing Justice League unlimited clips. I want them to figure out live action because I’m rooting for them. But you’re right.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, never in my life have I yelled at a studio like this. Let’s just say that.

 

Jay Jurden When my grandmother yells at me I got a monolog from Tyra. When someone else says, when my grandmother yells at me, you go, why you put your grandma in this? My grandma, what’s up? Also, anyone who’s ever had to read an ad, now you understand what Tiffany was going through. Because Tyra was going off, and I was like, Tyra, you read the ad right now.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, every week on the podcast, I understand what it’s like to be on Top Model. Okay? Let’s just say that.

 

Jay Jurden And by that, I mean, they change Ira’s race.

 

Ira Madison III One of these ads, I gotta be right.

 

Jay Jurden Uh, oh my goodness, yeah, uh, this is a super strong sunscreen for fair skinned individuals who want to maintain their snow white lily white purity.

 

Ira Madison III All right, let’s take a quick break. But first, some quick housekeeping.

 

[AD]

 

Ira Madison III We are so excited to talk to this week’s guests. You know her from Mad Men, Us, The Invisible Man, one of my faves, and so many other of our favorite projects. Now she’s starring in her Emmy-winning role, Jude, in the final season of The Handmaid’s Tale, which hits Hulu on April 8th. Please welcome to Keep It, Elizabeth Moss.

 

Elisabeth Moss Hello, thank you for having me.

 

Ira Madison III Thank you for being here.

 

Elisabeth Moss I’m very excited to be here. I’m a big fan of the podcast.

 

Ira Madison III Oh my God, thank you. That’s so lovely to hear. I mean, big fan of yours. And I wanna get into this final season of Handmaid’s Tale. It is wild that it’s finally ending, you know? It feels like, first of all, we’re back in this Handmaids Tale era of America, as if we’ve ever left. Does it feel weird, like finally saying goodbye to the series after all of this time?

 

Elisabeth Moss You know, I gotta be honest, I don’t feel like I’m saying goodbye because we’re still working on it. I’m still working episodes nine and 10, which I directed. And so there’s so much work left to be done on those. And then we’re also doing the sequel, The Testaments. So it just doesn’t feel like it’s over yet. Like on that, you know, like on Mad Men, it was clear, it was over. Like I got in my car at the end of the night and I drove away and I was done. It was like door closed. We are done. This does not feel that way. It’s like it is very much ongoing. So

 

Jay Jurden Elizabeth, what’s it like being able to be part of such huge TV tentpole storytelling phenomenons? Things that really changed the way that people looked at media. You mentioned Mad Men and now also with the amount of time you’ve been able to spend with June, who we met as Offred and we get to see a character really develop and you get to live in the character’s skin for so long. What’s it like being part of series that really have a kind of indelible impact on the American viewing experience?

 

Elisabeth Moss Well, first of all, thank you very much for saying that. Secondly, it’s honestly not something I’m used to at all. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. It feels very bizarre to me sometimes. I feel incredibly fortunate, obviously. I feel very grateful. It’s something I never would have anticipated, being a part of several of these shows that people have watched and that have gone on for multiple seasons. you know, like. You know how it is when you’re like starting out, you’re you’re, like, I hope I get the pilot and then I hope it goes gets picked up and then.

 

Jay Jurden We call it booked and busy. You’re booked and busy.

 

Elisabeth Moss I love that I’m booked and busy. Thank you so much. But I spent so many years like not being booked and as well. So I still have that actor sense of I have a job, I have job and I have another job. And okay, in six months, I’m gonna have another that’s good. And then, you know, after that, I don’t have anything yet. So that’s a little scary. So I still had that actor sensibility. Just like in me. But it’s pretty crazy. Like I was looking at. I’ve done. Mad, between Mad Men and Hammond’s Tale, it’s been 18 years. 18 years of my life have been spent doing these two shows. It’s insane. So I feel, yeah, it boggles my mind. I’m definitely not used to it. A whole person. A whole young person. Legal person. Yes, I started when I was very, very young.

 

Jay Jurden So when you started acting when you were two, it was when you were casting mad man.

 

Elisabeth Moss Yes, and my man, I was two years old, is incredible, he’s amazing. That’s right, that’s my story.

 

Ira Madison III So you are wrapping up this season of Handmaid’s Tale. I mean, you just said you’re directing these last two episodes, and I know that you’ve talked about not wanting to direct when you were on Mad Men before, because you were just sort of really getting into the character of Peggy, and you didn’t sort of want to mess with that sauce. What’s it then been like working on Handmaids Tale, producing, and then also directing?

 

Elisabeth Moss Mm-hmm. Well, um, no one asked me to direct on madmen. Let’s be clear

 

Jay Jurden I said no to an offer that was not there. Wait, Elizabeth, were you like, do y’all want me to? No, okay.

 

Elisabeth Moss Oh, no. No, you didn’t ask? OK, got it. Got it. Got it, got. So I think because I started as a producer on Handmaids, that was that was my trajectory to directing, actually, not as much the acting. I wasn’t a producer. I’m Edmund. So because I was learning all of this behind the scenes stuff as a producing from season one on Handmades, that’s really what led me to then going. I think I’d like to try this other role and I know a little bit more about how the sort of sausage is made and I really didn’t, I mean it’s so crazy, I’ve been doing this for so long you’d think I would know so much after doing it for like 20 years but really until I started producing I really did not know as much as I thought I did about how to make a TV show, you know?

 

Jay Jurden Do you have any moments that you remember throughout this entire journey of making Handmaid’s Tale? Any moments on set where it was such an emotive and exhausting and kind of like rich, actory day, and then you found a moment to find a laugh on set when like things were going terrible for our protagonist and for so many other characters, but the cast or the crew found a moment that was just funny as hell?

 

Elisabeth Moss I gotta tell you, it’s like every day.

 

Jay Jurden Really?

 

Elisabeth Moss Yeah, it is. Wait, they laugh?

 

Jay Jurden They’re laughing with it.

 

Elisabeth Moss outfits on. Oh yes. That giggling with the with the dresses on. I’m telling you it is like directing on that show is like being a kindergarten teacher. All I do all I do is I’m like mom in the car saying I will turn this car around like it all I

 

Jay Jurden at the Canadian border.

 

Elisabeth Moss Listen, we’re not going to… Exactly, exactly. It is like herding kittens, getting these actors to take things seriously sometimes. It really, really is. It’s like, it’s so different than what you would think, and it’s different from your experience watching it. It truly, especially if like, I mean, Brad obviously, Bradley Wifford is hilarious, and Yvonne has an incredible sense of humor. I mean it really is, it’s like getting them to settle down and stop joking around. for a minute and a half so we can do the scene is truly my job as a director. You hear that, future directors? Yeah, so it’s every day. It really is like, it’s, we have a really, really awesome, really, fun time on set, I gotta tell you. And of course there’s moments of seriousness and of course, there’s moment where it’s like, you know, not as, there isn’t as much levity, but.

 

Ira Madison III And so as you are honing your skills as a director, I mean, you’ve been in so many very projects. You’ve done these two TV shows. Obviously, I love you in horror movies. I mentioned the Invisible Man, love you and us. Also, you been in comedies as well. And of course, the fantastic film, Her Smell. I’m just listing off everything you’ve been in which I fucking love.

 

Elisabeth Moss Wow, thanks for watching it. It’s a smaller movie, so I appreciate it. Thank you.

 

Jay Jurden Oh, there’s no such thing as a smaller movie to Ira.

 

Elisabeth Moss I know. I know it’s true. I mean, that was one of the things I was so impressed with when I started listening to the podcast, I was like, he really knows his stuff. Thank you. You see everything. It’s very impressive.

 

Ira Madison III So when you are thinking about directing, you know, moving beyond Handmaid’s Tale, maybe even to film, just sort of like, what are your sensibilities? Like, what do you like to watch and what would you like to be making?

 

Elisabeth Moss I love horror. I love genre stuff. I like horror, I love sci-fi. I do love that brand of horror that has a sense of humor. Obviously, Jordan Peele is sort of the pinnacle of that. I am not a Jordan Pheele. But I do like that kind of being able to take a genre like sci- or like horror, or like a thriller, and… have an injection of humor in it, have that injection of intelligence, of that smart sense of humor, I think is really, really fun. I don’t feel any desire or need to make a super serious movie about a woman who’s running away from her past. I feel like that’s kind of my jam as an actor, and that’s great, and that what I like to do.

 

Ira Madison III Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

 

Elisabeth Moss It’s just, I don’t think it’s my jam as a director, unless it’s a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown in a horror film, in a, you know, something that feels a little bit off, a little bit crazy, a bit interesting in that sense. That’s why I love working with Alex Ross-Perry, who did Her Smell, and we did this movie that’s even smaller called Queen of Earth together. And it is a woman of the verge of a very nervous breakdown, but it’s super fun and kind of funny and weird anyway. So I feel like that’s more my Wheelhouse, I guess we’ll see whether or not I can do it or I’m successful at all at it, but that is what I am exploring for sure

 

Jay Jurden And you talk about your process as a director, but also you kind of brought it up as an actor, as a performer, whenever you get to sink your teeth in something as meaty as a June, are you also kind of like, okay, let me take Elizabeth out of this because I know what I like, but let me really focus on what this character’s world is. What are her truths?

 

Elisabeth Moss Mm-hmm. It’s interesting because I just I feel like there’s a difference between what I like to watch and what I’m good at on camera It’s a lot of action

 

Jay Jurden You need to look in the camera and say that too.

 

Elisabeth Moss That’s fair, that’s totally fair. I don’t feel like everyone is just automatically good at comedy or anything like that. I feel like I can do it with good material and a good director, but I do think that my wheelhouse is very much drama, but it’s not what I like to watch. I love to watch comedy, I love watch, I guess I don’ know if we say dramedy anymore, but I love that kind of thing. Um, so for me, I guess. Sinking my teeth into something as an actor is my joy, like that does give me so much pleasure and I love it probably more than anything. But it is very different from my sensibility as me. Yeah, I’m so, I mean, talking about yourself is kind of weird, but I feel like I’m much lighter. I don’t feel like a super dramatic.

 

Jay Jurden That’s fine. I think everyone loves a kind of like fun little anecdote about meeting an actor who’s in all these serious roles or who’s like been through so much and you meet them and they’re goofing around and make and putting up bunny ears behind you in the picture. And you go, actually, I love that. I love. That that’s the kind of dichotomy.

 

Elisabeth Moss Totally I like it too like I love when you show up on set and you think you’re gonna be working with somebody who’s like You know good like even and out the other day We were doing if you know plays Aunt Lydia on him, it’s you know, he’s like the scariest character in the show Was doing bunny ears on the red carpet behind people’s heads, you know And she’s like one of the funniest people you’ll ever meet and I hear that about actors that I love like Olivia Coleman and I bet they’re actually incredibly funny and light on set, and I love that

 

Ira Madison III Before I let you go, I want to talk to you a bit about theater, too, because when I moved to New York in 2007, I was lucky enough to be able to see you in Speed the Plow.

 

Elisabeth Moss Oh my god, thank you, wow!

 

Ira Madison III I mean, also, that’s such a funny role too, you know? And just a funny play in general.

 

Elisabeth Moss Who did you see in the play because we had as you

 

Ira Madison III I saw Norbert. I saw norbert. Yes, I said it was it was after the sushi

 

Jay Jurden The heaviest as you know I’ve ever seen as you know as you know we love norbert little bus.

 

Ira Madison III Yes yes I do

 

Elisabeth Moss I love him so so so much and I think every actor that we had in that role was brilliant in it all along the way, but he to me was like, we nailed it with Norbert, like to me it was like oh this is the guy who should play the role.

 

Ira Madison III And, um, I’m excited to see Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross soon.

 

Elisabeth Moss I’m seeing it, um, next week. Oh my God, you are? Okay, great. Yes, I’m so excited. You are?

 

Jay Jurden Matinee, they’re going to be cursing at 2 p.m.

 

Elisabeth Moss Perfect. It’s perfect. Exactly the way David Mamet would want it.

 

Ira Madison III I mean, you know, there’s a new revival of Glengarry and I just want to know like, what was it like for you doing his dialog, being in one of his plays? You know, one of the ones with like a female character too.

 

Elisabeth Moss Mm-hmm, and which she doesn’t have a whole lot of.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah

 

Elisabeth Moss She’s putting it, putting it mildly, um, it’s literally one of like the two that you can do. That’s it. I aged out of that one. Sadly, I aged out of that one, but 10 years ago, we could do a grad school. We could do a grad production. Thank you. I appreciate that. You are very kind.

 

Ira Madison III The sequel! The sequel, she comes back! She comes back.

 

Elisabeth Moss Ariana, the sequel. You are very, very kind. It was very cool because it was one of my only opportunities to do David Mamet. It was really exciting and I obviously coming out of Aaron Sorkin around that time and then Matt Weiner who did and all those beautiful writers who did Mad Men. I was getting to work with some of the best writers alive. And so to get to them. tackle Mammoth’s language was an experience that I will never forget and was so grateful to have. And I wish I could do every Mammot play, you know, I just, I want them to do female versions of all the plays so that us ladies can have a chance to do it. Cause I just think it’s just incredible. I just I love his writing so much. That’s such an obvious thing to say, but it was an incredible experience. And it was my first Broadway play. And that language is so.

 

Ira Madison III Mm-hmm.

 

Elisabeth Moss Difficult to learn and interesting to learn. And as you know, he’s very, very specific and everything has to be exactly word perfect. And the pauses are different from the breaths and those are different from being cut off and that’s all in the script. And you have to know exactly which one is which. And so it was really, really an amazing experience. And then to have this kind of wild ride of making the play and being involved in the play and having five different men step into the role, like five, four or five. Um, it was very much a singular experience. I mean, we got reviewed twice by the New York times. Like that doesn’t usually happen. Um, he was really, it, was really a, an incredible learning experience.

 

Ira Madison III You and funny girl. That’s about it.

 

Elisabeth Moss Is that it? That’s so funny, that’s so true

 

Jay Jurden But seeing you light up talking about acting, talking about the process, talking about their respect for the playwright’s work, talking about just being part of the American theater canon, it makes me happy to see an actor speak so passionately. That’s beautiful.

 

Elisabeth Moss Thank you very much. Thank you. I’m hoping to be able to go back actually, and I’m talking about a little something in 2027. Okay, great! Keep it exclusive!

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, okay, we’ll be there to see it.

 

Elisabeth Moss I hope so. I hope. So I think it’s a if we can if we can get it done, it’s a beautiful star express. Yes, exactly. I’m going to be it’s a it’s one woman version. It’s just me playing all the Ha!

 

Ira Madison III And actually, now that I think about it, it has been a long time since we’ve seen a production, maybe since like Matthew Perry in 2003 on the West End of sexual perversity in Chicago, which does have a woman in it, David Mamet.

 

Elisabeth Moss Get to talking to him about that!

 

Ira Madison III Yeah!

 

Elisabeth Moss That’s a very good idea

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, thank you so much for being here with us, Elisabeth. It was like, it was an honor to talk to you.

 

Elisabeth Moss That’s very, very kind. I really am a big fan of the podcast, so I’m super excited and flattered to be asked to do it. Thank you. Thank you!

 

Ira Madison III And Handmaid’s Tale is airing April 8th, the final season, so check it out on Hulu.

 

Elisabeth Moss Keep making me laugh, you guys.

 

Ira Madison III [AD]

 

Ira Madison III And we’re back. If you’re wondering what happens when a Netflix exec falls asleep with YouTube stuck on autoplay, we found out last week with the announcement of Pop the Balloon, a live TV adaptation of a YouTube dating series starring everyone on Love Is Blind’s block callers list. Let’s get into it.

 

Jay Jurden OK, this is what I’m going to say, if the TV show Pop the Balloon was a person and it walked in the room on an episode of Pop the balloon, I will pop the balloon. I wanted to go meta. I wanted go in to get back out. They’re doing this with reality TV stars I saw, Farrah Abraham, Johnny Bananas. If you’ve ever done the challenge, go ahead. Get your Netflix credit.

 

Ira Madison III If the traitors turned you down, you’re in luck.

 

Jay Jurden Uh balloon popping

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, Farrah Abraham does not have a passport. I’m positive. So, pop the balloon it is.

 

Jay Jurden Pop the Balloon, you know what, put Amber and Gary from Teen Mom OG back on it. Watch them fight. Bristol Palin. Bristol Paliiin! Come on. Okay, explain what Pop the balloon is. Pop the ballon was an internet YouTube show popular among the same demographic as Carole’s Daughters and… And Shea Moisture. So it’s a very black internet show. It’s on YouTube and the clips made to TikTok. And it would usually be a single person. It’s a dating show. It’s like the kind of like fastest way to get through Singled Out and Next. There’s a host. There’s the person who is looking for love. Then there are a bunch of people who they want to see as potential suitors or suetrees. I don’t know what the female… Gender is fluid. So you have people who have balloons and a person does a little interview and then those people get to pop balloons if they don’t want to take the person. And then if no one pops a balloon, that person has to pop some of their balloons. And it’s a very satisfactory… auditory experience because sometimes it sounds like gunshots, sometimes it sounds like a bad neighborhood, and that is funny, but it also makes for a very fast show, which is why it’s on the internet, because sometimes you go, the people walk in, and literally the man walks into frame and…

 

Ira Madison III It’s a nasty show. I would never be on this damn show.

 

Jay Jurden I’ve seen people grab other people’s balloons and pop them. Yes. So now it’s going to be a Netflix live experience. I think the host is an executive producer. Her and her… Wait for it. I think husband. So I want y’all to know something. Married people are laughing at single people. I’m married. I’m, I’m marriage. Listen, I love it. Everyone should get a husband, even straight men. You need… Get a husband. But this married woman and her husband are laughing at y’all singles. They are laughing at what y’al have to go through. Some of these men, some of these man going on here, oh my God. They really thinking they’re the prize. And then also some of women, I saw one where a guy said that he had a cat and that was the deal breaker for all the girls. I said, what this? Oh my God, this.

 

Ira Madison III It is a reminder that everyone’s standards are out of control, let’s just say that.

 

Jay Jurden Kevin Samuels, rest in peace. Kevin Samus would have got some of these folks together. And I know he was an evil misogynist, but he would have put some of these folks in their place, men and women.

 

Ira Madison III Everyone’s standards are out of control. What’s funny is that pop the balloon is a little bit like for straight people. It’s a little like Grindr in real life. Yeah. The game show. Pop the balloon. You, you, you block someone real quick when you get a hello.

 

Jay Jurden But at least with Grindr, you gon’ get the fuck. I don’t know what the goal of this is. It is. And it’s like also like they are inclusive. They’re gay episodes that are just as terrible as the straight episodes. They are very transphobic. I’m gonna put that out there right now. The transphobia on these shows is corny as fuck. I do not like that.

 

Ira Madison III It’s like The Shade Room.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, Shade Room, every now and then Shade Room be like, can you believe Dwayne Wade loves his daughter? And they just go, comment below. And I go, y’all know what y’al doing. What do you mean? I definitely can’t believe this multi-millionaire who is married to an actress who has been in Miami appreciates trans people. What’s going on? His daughter? His daughter. But this show, I have many thoughts. One of which is, I don’t know if this is the precedent we need to be setting.

 

Ira Madison III Say that.

 

Jay Jurden I don’t know if this is the precedent we need to be setting. I know there’s a lot to be said with like, get your money, young black woman. I’m so happy that you were able to like secure an EP role on this. I don’ t know. And some people go, it’s Harmless Internet Fund. We’ve learned since November that every podcast that turns 12-year-old boys into misogynists that this Internet Fund does come home with a roost. I don t know how I feel about it.

 

Ira Madison III How do we feel about Yvonne Orji being the host? She ain’t married. Is she a virgin? Yeah. She has never popped a balloon.

 

Jay Jurden This is the thought. Michelle Butoh is married, loves her husband, loves their twins. Vanessa and Nick Lachey, married, love each other, can tell you how to work through some stuff. You need to be a contestant.

 

Ira Madison III No? Actually, I would watch a show about her looking for love.

 

Jay Jurden You know what? I’m a virgin too. That’s how that works. Which hole? My ears? I’ve never been to Claire’s.

 

Ira Madison III I’ve seen you on Fire Island, it’s just been a few years.

 

Jay Jurden I still have both of my Earheimans, everybody. Okay, they make a joke about Mr. Beast in the pilot episode of the studio.

 

Ira Madison III I just learned what Mr. Beast was recently. I’m sorry, you didn’t need to. Well, I learned like a few months ago what Mr Beast was. And then I also learned recently that Mr. Beast and James Patterson are working on a novel together. First of all, who’s doing the writing?

 

Jay Jurden The 31 writers on James Patterson’s staff. That man is going to write 13 books next year.

 

Ira Madison III And it’s already being adapted for film, by the way, they’re shopping the film rights for this book about like people playing a survivor kind of game show. This is the pipeline we’re in. The book’s not even being written yet by the team of 31 writers. We’re just going to make, we’re gonna, you know, Frankenstein the movie out of this idea.

 

Jay Jurden Everyone listening, this is why the studio is funny. Because what Ira just described is not an episode, it’s real life. What Ira just describe is the state of things. Mr. Beast appeals to kids with silver caps on their teeth. And not grills. Mr. beast appeals to the boys who you have to go, Hey! Stop poking that dead bird with the stick, y’all. We’re kind of there. So James Patterson, who is this like, I mean, prodigious writer, Alex Cross series.

 

Ira Madison III Mm-hmm Giovanni’s room And it’s a series, it’s Giovanni’s closet, Giovanni basement.

 

Jay Jurden Uh, not to address the Giovanni in the room. I’m like so confused and I want to cry. This is like a very weird place to be in when you actually write books, when you act, when you write TV, when do stand up comedy, when you are kind of in this new quasi-like. YouTube to TV pipeline. I don’t know. Also, Mr. Beast, he’s torturing people. There is a word for when you make people do a bunch of stuff with money and you’re not, okay. Cause like TJ Lavin, I never thought TJ was evil when he was hosting the challenge. Because TJ is like, oh, I’m hosting Mark Probst. I never think they’re evil. Mark Probz.

 

Ira Madison III Ha ha ha ha, Jeff Rose, Mark Burnett.

 

Jay Jurden Mark Burnett. Okay, yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Mark Burnett is evil. Jeff Probst is neutral evil.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t think they’re evil. Mr. Beast, because he actually is also raising the money, he’s evil. He be trapping these people. He’s jigsaw. He’s Jigsaw! Look at his face. That’s not his real face. I know he can take it off. Hey, Ira, you talk about a new Batman villain, Mr. Beasts.

 

Ira Madison III That would actually be good. Now you’re giving James Patterson the idea for the book because you know they haven’t written it yet.

 

Jay Jurden No, no, I’m giving David Zaslav some new IP. You go, okay, this is what you do. Batman has a villain called the KG Beast. It’s one of the first villains he was like, I’m gonna let this person die. You make it the K.G. Mr. Beast. It’s so easy. Actually, you know what? Keep it, I am withholding rights to that IP. Okay, okay. It’s stamped.

 

Ira Madison III I want to ask you about another internet series though, because I’ve seen your tweets. Say it. What is a Kill Tony?

 

Jay Jurden A wish, a prayer.

 

Ira Madison III I Googled it a little bit. I Googling a little and then I was like, I’m just gonna ask Jay to explain it to me because my head was hurting.

 

Jay Jurden Okay. So Ira, there’s this thing called slurs and they’re usually racial or sexual identity pejorative starting people. So, okay. Long story short, Kill Tony was a kind of like amateur open mic at the, I want to say comedy store or in LA for a very long time. Tony Hinchcliffe was in LA, for a long time hosting this sort of like bucket open mic situation where you go up for a minute and if you do well, you get like a golden ticket. You get to perform with him. If you don’t do well, you kind of get torn to shreds by this panel. And then when Rogan and all of his acolytes moved to Austin in 2021, that show moved to awesome in 2021. It has since blown up because a lot of men who work in tech think they’re funny enough to do stand-up. So they pay money to put their name in a bucket to maybe get the opportunity to do this show. they usually do terrible. It is like the law of averages. There’s usually like one or two good people every two hour episode. It’s also filmed and posted every Monday. And it has attracted a corner of comedy that is very bro sphere, a manosphere. We’ve kind of discussed it in the past when it comes to like post election, like all these people who are inviting JD Vance, Donald Trump and Elon Musk on the podcast. And so now Kill Tony is kind of a cult following in Austin, so much so that people fly from LA to Austin to try to do a minute of comedy at a mic where the host is also probably gonna call him a faggot. And not the way we do it, not with love, but with animus. So Tony Hinchcliffe is a good roast joke writer. Tony Hitchcliffe, he was good at the roast of Tom Brady. He was not good at the Madison Square Garden rally where he said Puerto Rico was a floating garbage island. Oh, so that’s him. Yeah. Okay. That’s the Tony that you want to kill, but it’s also you have to kill. You could be one of his killers. He pointed a black man at that rally and just say a watermelon. That level of artistry is on display. I have so many mixed feelings because I love comedians providing new opportunities for young comedians. I also don’t think the best opportunity is for you to bomb on Netflix and then get roasted in front of a bunch of people if you want to continue a career in comedy. You know the first episode of American Idol? Imagine how many William Hungs exist for comedy. That’s what I want people to realize. She bangs, she bangs. She moves, she moves.

 

Ira Madison III I do kind of like the concept of rich tech bros who think they’re funny, getting rich treads. Yeah, yeah. If it were just them, that’d be funny. In their own ecosystem, destroying each other.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah. But then there also are some people who maybe they’re kind of okay at comedy, but it’s not, you know, full disclosure. Not my vibe, but I do. I have a friendly relationship with people who have been on the panel. I had friends who have done the panel, I have people who I think are good comics outside of that situation. So I have some nuance regarding opportunities for comedians in an age where those things are drying up. I don’t love it. I don’ love using YouTube as a beta program to test your TV shows because then everyone’s just going to go to YouTube and then everyone makes all their money from YouTube monetization and Google ads, which we love. We love Google. If they’re listening, they are. You are never really going to break talent. Don’t you want to break talent studios? I don’t know. I don’ think everything needs to be Kool-Aid. I’m not drinking this Kool Aid. I don’t think everything needs to a universal hit before you give it a shot. That’s my take. But I am also a traditionalist and pretty old because I don ‘t watch Kaisenat videos. So that’s that on that. It’s it’s going to be interesting. Some people are going to regret wanting to bomb. as their first thing they’ve ever done on Netflix. If you want a career to continue in comedy, it’s gonna be really hard to shake that off.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, you know, it’s kind of like directing your first film out the gate without having done anything else. You know, now 824 let some of the girls do that and it works. Death of a Unicorn is very fun. Opus is not.

 

Jay Jurden Where’s T.S. Madison bottles under your plant? T. S. T. S. and Craig, please, I need some bottles. I need bottles.

 

Ira Madison III The whole thing is sort of defeating though, because I feel like as, you know, creative artists, you really want to be doing your best work, you really wanna maybe make something that could become a TV show, could become movie, could become book, et cetera. And it’s, the industry just wants you to sort of like reverse engineer all this shit. It’s like, you wanna write a book, but it’s like do I need to be writing a book series now to create a series, et Cetera. But does it matter if James Patterson and Mr. Beast are doing it.

 

Jay Jurden Ah, it’s because those eyes are already on Mr. Beast from the Beast games and from all the silly YouTube videos. The scary part is, as a studio, you can choose to be a tastemaker or you can chose to be banquet hall that can be running out for the people who have the most friends. I don’t love the idea of everything becoming a quinceañera. I think every now and then, you need to be in a restaurant, have a chef de cuisine, and have a prefix menu, and you go listen. You’re going to eat this because it’s good and because I’m trained. Now enjoy this.” And you go, oh my gosh. This is amazing. This is wonderful. You don’t get an Ali Wong. You don’ get Tom Segura. I don’t know many people who like Netflix likes. You don get some of these wonderful discoveries. Taylor Tomlinson. If you have to be huge on YouTube first, you also don’t find some of these amazing actors. for TV and for movies if they have to already be TikTok stars. Because the fucked up part about being a TikTok star is you might have… You might have like created an audience that is loyal to you in one vein and they will not accept your transition or your kind of elevation and your evolution through things. I mean, I’m wishing people the best to have like other exploits. outside of social media and TikTok. But it’s hard. And that’s why, like, personally, people see me and they go, oh, Jay, just stand up. Good. I don’t want you everything, nothing else. I don’ want you to be like, oh, what does Jay do? Stand up. He’s funny. Cast him in something if you want to, but go see a show. I love to be cast. Cast me. You hear studio? Me and Dwayne are good girlies. You know, have an episode where we go out on the town. Have a little fun. Me and Tyler. He’s very funny. He’s very fond of the shot. But it’s, um, it’s a, it so what future say is an evil world. We live in that was future saying that future said that.

 

Ira Madison III He also famously said, fuck up some commas and.

 

Jay Jurden Fuck us with commas.

 

Ira Madison III And that’s what the industry is about now. They doing it. All right. When we’re back, it’s our favorite segment of the episode. I’m so glad that Jay is here for it. We’ll be right back with Keep It. And we are back with our favorite segment of the episode. It is Keep It, Jay, what’s going on?

 

Jay Jurden Okay, this is my keep it. I saw a Rough Riders jersey at Urban Outfitters, and y’all, keep it! Keep it! Keep it someplace far away from me. If you don’t know who the Loks are, if you don’ know who Eve is, if you dont’ listen to DMX, if you didn’t see black people pulling dangerous stunts on motorcycles and music videos that you tried on your bicycle, please keep it, oh my God. First it was Fubu, And one time I saw Ira out in a Fubu jersey and I said, oh my God, I haven’t seen Fubua forever. And then I saw Billie Eilish in a fubu Jersey and I say, Ira is copying from Billie Eillish. Fuck you. Ira is stealing stud points from black icon Billie Holiday Eilash.

 

Ira Madison III I was reclaiming my youth because I actually wrote a passage in my book about being bullied for wearing fubu because, okay, so we could not afford fubus at first because we shopped at JCPenney and the one time I saved some money to get a fubuu and then I wore it to school and you know black people, everybody was like. Oh, I don’t got a fooboo!

 

Jay Jurden I had a Platinum Fubu jersey and I said, listen, listen to this Platinum fubu with Fat Albert and the gang on it sometimes, boy, you can tell me nothing in eighth grade. You know, I was I was stunned, but yeah, Rough Riders, okay, we’re getting into weird territory Urban Outfitters, Rough Rider right now, then what’s next, Fat Farm, we can’t. We can’t I’m about to see a Mark Echo shirt soon. We really, we gotta stop. Fubu, I will allow.

 

Ira Madison III I like the fubu because I see people wearing fubus out in the wild now.

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, I love a good breathable mesh.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. I think it’s fun to wear a jersey. Yes, it’s funny to wear jersey, especially as a gay man. You want a jersey, I’m serving trade. Yes. The first thing you think about where you think of me, right? Trade.

 

Jay Jurden Ha ha ha ha!

 

Ira Madison III Trading cars!

 

Jay Jurden Yeah, the trades and by that I mean magazines.

 

Ira Madison III My grandmother actually sent me some trading cards that I used to have. I forgot that I use to go in on Marvel trading cards.

 

Jay Jurden I was never a Marvel trading card person, and this is going to tell you a lot about me, but I was fucking up some Yu-Gi-Oh! decks. Listen, Exodia the Forbidden One. Oh, every now and then, me and him came to rock your world. Every now and… And I had a strategy. I didn’t go to any tournaments. I’m with y’all. I never went to a Yu-gi-Oh tournament, y’al. I wear deodorant. I never go to a Yugi-Oh Tournament. I had sex in high school. But every now, and then… I could fuck your day up with a trap card. Yu-Gi-Oh might need to come back. Okay, at a AFDs. Okay, you’re playing some music videos. You’re playing Ariana Dandelion. I don’t hate the idea of me playing little Yu-gi-oh cards. Okay. That was Edible and the Mushroom? Yu-gy-ho-in. You… Pfft. Ha, ha, ha. It’s time to do-do-do, do-d-d, douche.

 

Ira Madison III Ha, Ha. Speaking of douches.

 

Jay Jurden This your keep it?

 

Ira Madison III You love a segue?

 

Jay Jurden I love a segue. Came out clear.

 

Ira Madison III My Keep It goes to Elon Musk. Boo boo. Listen, the African went to my home state.

 

Jay Jurden Say it, that scammin’ ass African.

 

Ira Madison III The scammin ass African, and I’m not talking about in your Gmail sending you something from a Hotmail account trying to get $1,500 out of your mama’s bank account. I’m talking about Elon Musk is running through the White House like the Tomb Raider.

 

Jay Jurden Going through our pockets.

 

Ira Madison III And he went to my home state where he is trying to scam the Supreme Court and make a conservative there. And he’s basically tampering with votes by, he did a contest where two people won a million dollars. Oh my God. By signing a petition that they would vote for this conservative judge.

 

Jay Jurden Kind of a Kill Tony situation except for with democracy. We’re killing democracy. You sign up for a bucket, you get your name picked out if you vote for a conservative judge for the Wisconsin Supreme Court, and you get a million dollars from Elon Musk. That, the only thing that I would be happy about is that I know if Elon Musk gave me a check from $1 million, at least he could never make eye contact with me because of that whole thing he got going on. It is disgusting.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Basically, you have to sign his petition in opposition to activist judges and he gave away a million dollar check. First of all, you know, lottery curses, right? Yeah. You know, like people win the lottery and then people come out for woodwork. You get sued. You know, you could be like that woman who worked in the diner. I think her name was Tammy nickerbocker like her. Coworkers sued her because it was always like we promised to you know to share the lottery, etc If one of us ever won, could you imagine like how fucked up your life is gonna be? Everyone knows that you were presented a million dollar check on stage by Elon Musk. What you think is happening to you the next day

 

Jay Jurden This is a damn monkey’s paw gift. They will tear each other to shreds. This is not smart. So the first part of it, it’s so anti-democratic to be like, I’m going to give you a million dollars if you pledge to vote for this conservative judge, because when the fuck was that how we campaign? Who come up with where the fuck is George Soros? That’s not what is happening. Secondly, this man is doing this. because he knows that he’s unpopular and the policies he’s putting through because he’s curried enough favor and he bankrolled this administration, they’re not popular. You’re about to lay out how many health and human services workers this week, Robert F. Cuney Jr. You’re laying out how much federal employees… Do people not know that center-right people also work for the federal government? They’re losing jobs. This is what I’ll say. I’m going to say it. That damn African is taking jobs away from good white Americans. Hey, it’s 2008 again, and that damn African, Elon Musk, I hate this. It makes me so mad.

 

Ira Madison III If you were in Wisconsin, you should be voting for Susan Crawford. Brad Schimel is psychotic.

 

Jay Jurden And Wisconsin, aren’t y’all sick of people making fun of y’alls?

 

Ira Madison III I know I am.

 

Jay Jurden Y’all got people like Ira Madison and Jada Essence-Hall and Trixie Mattel trying to save y’all’s reputation. And y’al letting that fool come in there and do that? I’m embarrassed. Aaron Rodgers left. Y’al got rid of him.

 

Ira Madison III C’mon! Ran Brett Favre up out of there.

 

Jay Jurden Godbreath farve up, he went back to my state and said, hey, poor people, give me some of that money.

 

Ira Madison III And also, speaking of Brett Favre, you know, pulling the gin straw, scamming people.

 

Jay Jurden Yes?

 

Ira Madison III Elon Musk handing out a million dollar check, I guess it’s his own money, it’s your money.

 

Jay Jurden It’s your money, and you want it now. Call J.G. Wentworth.

 

Ira Madison III like he is scamming your money and then just giving it back to you.

 

Jay Jurden It’s stupid. That pissed me off. Also, Morgan Wallen, I’m going to say this isn’t a keep it. This is a bleep it because fuck Morgan Wallin. What the fuck do you mean going back to God’s country? I’m from the South. Black people live down there, too. Queer people live down there too. I don’t know what you thought was so weird at fucking 30 Rock that you had to run off. Bowen was not going to kiss you. Ego and Kenan were not worried about you. What is wrong with you, Morgan? Wallen? Come on. I thought you had changed your ways.

 

Ira Madison III I know, I was toe tapping to that Post Malone song.

 

Jay Jurden You put out a good song after throwing a chair off a balcony and saying, my bad, nigga. And now, now we got to deal with this shit again. Morgan, I’m upset. But more than that, I am disappointed. Morgan, when my grandmother yells at me like this it’s because she loves me.

 

Ira Madison III You know when Morgan did it probably, I’m going to do some guesswork. Do it. He did a song with Post Malone and it was a banger. It’s a hit. We can’t deny that. But Post Malon, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, you know, like too associated with faggotry. Morgan Wallen was probably getting clowned by his bros when they’re sitting at home watching Kill Tony. They’re like, you hanging out with Post Malone? You hanging out, you’re hanging out Plonk him alive! You listen to Cowboy Carter now? Pogmalone? Pog Malone.

 

Jay Jurden And that’s why you did it, okay? He was bullied. Pump Malone. That’s going to be on my mood board for the cowboy car outfit. Morgan Wallen is supposed to be the most masculine person ever. Then why you got a non-binary name, Morgan?

 

Ira Madison III Let’s say that.

 

Jay Jurden MORE AGAIN

 

Ira Madison III Okay? Sound like you should be joining Southern Charm. Morgan Wallen sounds like she watches Bravo.

 

Jay Jurden Morgan Wallen loves Vera Bradley, Morgan Wallin, Morgan, you know what, Morgan Wallin put some lemon squares together for this, for this SEC home game.

 

Ira Madison III Uh, Jay, thank you so much for being here.

 

Jay Jurden Ira, thank you for putting up with my silliness. When we get together, we have a time. And that’s why we can only do it every now and then, because they don’t let us. Crooked media said, hey, watch out.

 

Ira Madison III Crooked Media is a sundown network.

 

Jay Jurden NOOOOO. April Fools, April Fools, April Fools.

 

Ira Madison III Tell the people where they can find you. Like you’re on tour. You’re always on tour that you are never in New York.

 

Jay Jurden I’m in New York every Monday through Thursdays I’m in New york and then every now and then I gotta leave but I’m on tour right now. I’m gonna be in Huntsville, Alabama. I’m going to be in New Orleans. Right? God’s country. I might have an announcement about New Orleans, so make sure to follow me on all socials. I’ll be in Raleigh, North Carolina. I’m gunna be in San Francisco. Check all of that out. You can go to at Jay Jurden on Twitter. Yes, Twitter. To me, hey, it’s still Twitter. Instagram, you can also follow me on threads. I decide to be messy on threads, so if you really want to hear my opinions about some stuff, go to threads. Because I was like, I was, oh, no one’s reading threads. No one’s read threads. Girl, people are reading, and I forgot. My team said, Jay, that last one, go ahead and take that down.

 

Ira Madison III I went to Threads only because I miss talking about Bravo places and the people who watch Bravo, Morgan Wallen, they’re on Thread’s. Now I did remember that Thread is connected to Facebook and Instagram. You get a lot of dumb ass people responding to you on Threds.

 

Jay Jurden Threads is, I think it’s 60% Facebook, 40% Instagram. Cause it’s Facebook down and whatever you think that means, that’s exactly what I mean. A lot of people being like, why do you care how they raise their kids? Okay, all right. Now, okay. All right, all, right. Who should pay for the first date? Actually, actually, no, no.

 

Ira Madison III Would you love your trans daughter?

 

Jay Jurden Exactly. Balloon popped. If you’re a transphobe, you need your balloon popped and you can take that however you want to take it.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, the Threads is very, very homophobic and transphobic, unfortunately.

 

Jay Jurden But we love you, Mark Zuckerberg. You’re so manly now as you do MMA. You look like such a man. You’re Mark Zuckerburg. Oh my gosh. You’re such a, man. When you, you’re so, manly. When I saw that fat ass on that surfboard. Oh my Gosh. When I, saw that scary ass sunscreen covered face, Mark Zuckerberg, you are so masculine.

 

Ira Madison III His hair’s looking good now though.

 

Jay Jurden You talking about, cause he got a perm.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, his perm.

 

Jay Jurden He got the broccoli cut. Wait a second, Mark Zuckerberg, I saw that hair. I said, we might need to do your 23andMe.

 

Ira Madison III What is that? This is a secret.

 

Jay Jurden I said, is Zuckerberg Ghanaian? What is his last name? Wait a minute. Okay, alright! I mean, okay. Mark Joloff Rice. Mark Fufu?

 

Ira Madison III You’re a fool. Thank you, Elizabeth Moss, for joining us. We’ll see you next week and it will be 50% whiter. Don’t forget to follow Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You can also subscribe to Keep It on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content. And, if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review.

 

Louis Virtel Keep It is a Crooked Media Production. Our producer is Bill McGrath. Our associate producer is Kennedy Hill. And our executive producers are Ira Madison III, Louis Virtel, and Kendra James.

 

Louis Virtel Our digital team is Delon Villanueva, Claudia Sheng, and Rachel Gaieski. This episode was recorded and mixed by Jarek Centeno. Thank you to David Toles, Kyle Seglin, and Charlotte Landes for production support.

 

Louis Virtel Our head of production is Matt DeGroot and Madeline Harringer is our head of programming. Our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.

 

Louis Virtel And as always, Keep It was filmed in front of a live studio audience.