The Golden State Warriors Win the 2022 NBA Finals | Crooked Media
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June 21, 2022
The Golden State Warriors Win the 2022 NBA Finals

In This Episode

On this week’s Takeline, Jamel Johnson, host of the Air Buds podcast, joins Jason Concepcion to ring in the NBA offseason. The Golden State Warriors defeated the Boston Celtics in six games last Friday, and the party was in San Francisco on Monday in celebration of this fourth championship of the Warriors dynasty. Dan Devine of the Ringer returns to discuss the Finals victory, Golden State’s legacy and the outlook for the team’s continued success, and then the episode wraps up with a game of Take Survivor features some familiar faces.


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Jason Concepcion: What’s your. Fuck it. I’ll work for Assassin’s Number?.


Jamel Johnson: $500,000.


Ryan Wallerson: Do you know how many people could give that to you?


Jamel Johnson: Half a million?


Zuri Irvin: I know that’s right.


Jason Concepcion: Hello. Welcome to Takeline. It’s another great show and a congratulations, of course, to the Golden State Warriors who defeated the Boston Celtics in six mostly boring games. It was a party in San Francisco on Monday as the celebration parade cut across the city. And we got to see Warriors in various states of turned uped-ness. To help us unpack all of that. Dan Devine of the Ringer, my former colleague is going to join us to talk about the Warriors, all the issues raised by the Celtics loss, what it means for that team. And he’s one of the greatest to ever do it. And then, of course, we’re going to have a rousing game of Take Survivor, where we’re joined by various figures from Takeline’s Christmas past. But first, I want to welcome my co-host for today. You know him as the co-host of Air Bud’s, you know, him as one of the funniest stand up comedians out there. Here’s a side note before I truly introduce him. Here’s the thing about this person that I meant to introduce. I’ve seen this guy get up to stand up where he just like something happened before the show. He talks about that for 8 minutes before he even gets the jokes and he gets people laughing because he’s just that funny. He is Jamel Johnson. Jamel, how are you?


Jamel Johnson: Are we living in a dream world? Are your? Are your eyes still green girl?


Jason Concepcion: That’s a spoil. Spoiler. That’s a spoiler little, little bit of a spoiler.


Jamel Johnson: Oh, yeah.


Jason Concepcion: And then before we get into the interview with Dan and Take Survivor and all that, we’re going be joined by super producers Zuri and Ryan to just talk about some of the issues that we that we are seeing around the sports world. First up. Let’s talk about is Andrew Wiggins dead? So what it’s like? It’s always fun to watch a celebration parade. And you know, who could forget Tom Brady smiling, robotic smile plastered across his face as he is carried out of the Buccaneers parade boat celebration. And our winner of the Tom Brady This Dude’s Messed Up award this year goes to Andrew Wiggins, who aged 40 some years over the course of the celebration and legitimately looked like fucking Danny Glover. I don’t know what kind of embalming fluids they have Andrew Wiggins inhaling over there. But are we worried about Andrew Wiggins? Do we think Wiggins is Wiggins going to be okay after this?


Jamel Johnson: Listen man, this what indicas do to people.


Ryan Wallerson: Especially after you haven’t been smoking all season and have been keeping yourself right for the game. Aye. He looks like he might need to borrow Darth Vader’s recovery tank .


Zuri Irvin: Sort of why Ryan put “haven’t been smoking” in quotes. So, we don’t know.


Jason Concepcion: Maybe you just go, you know, you just go with the vanilla pretty rolls during the season. You want to keep it normal, you know. And then all of a sudden, yeah, dad grass. And then all of a sudden you win the championship and you’re thinking about dabs, you think about wax, you think about dipped pre-rolls, all that stuff. And now all of a sudden, you’re legitimately looking like a 55 year old man hanging out with the Warriors.


Ryan Wallerson: Andrew Wiggins looks like he’s been stealing catalytic converters.


Jason Concepcion: And let me just pause here. If you haven’t seen this photo, go look for it.


Jamel Johnson: Please.


Jamel Johnson: Go. Go look for the photo of Andrew Wiggins with his arm around Klay. Legitimately looking like a man on his third divorce. It is fucking wild, unrecognizable. I’ve never seen this. I’ve never seen this level of partying where you he has like he looks like he’s been in the sun for 20, 30 years, working outside.


Zuri Irvin: You know what it is? It’s. It’s it’s the facial hair. He just needs to get cleaned up a little bit. It’s the eyes, obviously. That’s my drops. And I don’t think he needs to do much to turn this around into looking like a normal person.


Ryan Wallerson: Like, you know what? These are lessons. These are lessons that you learn at your first finals.


Zuri Irvin: Yeah, right. Right.


Ryan Wallerson: But, you know, he’s just got to go through it.


Jamel Johnson: Get the good drops with the menthaled drops. Saw the text.


Zuri Irvin: Who do you think part is the hardest on the Warriors? Is it Klay? Is it Poole?


Jamel Johnson: It’s definitely Klay.


Ryan Wallerson: It’s definitely Klay, yeah. Yeah. What a day Klay had yesterday. He lost the championship hat in the ocean, dropped his chip ring, tackle that lady I. And then he left and then he passed out behind Draymond, basically telling the whole world to go fuck itself.


Jason Concepcion: I, dropping the ring, I got anxious. So again, for those of you who who did not watch the the full championship parade and celebration, Klay was moving, you know, from the boat to the talking stage and greeting people like along the route they were separated by a barrier. And Klay as he was greeting people just dropped the ring on the ground. And I had this moment of anxiety where I was like, Oh shit, somebody is going to grab this ring and make a run for it. Like that’s how I think. That’s where my mind is at. Luckily that didn’t happen. I’m not sure that people actually understood what Klay had dropped in that moment. Like, I don’t think it hit at that moment, but like.


Zuri Irvin: Would you be entitled to just run and take it? Is that theft then? Is theft right?


Ryan Wallerson: No, it’s definitely theft.


Jamel Johnson: Big time theft.


Jason Concepcion: Is big time theft. You watched it happen. But like that’s no one would be surprised, right, if somebody grabbed the ring and just started running for it.


Ryan Wallerson: You know what’s not theft? If the ring makes contact with the ground and like one of the jewels pops out and he picks it up and doesn’t know it.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah, one of the diamonds pops out.


Ryan Wallerson: But you notice and you just like, step on it and stay there until people move on, and then you pick that bad boy up and put it in your. Now, that’s not theft. And that’s a that’s a bit of a come up.


Jamel Johnson: That’s acquiring.


Jason Concepcion: That is absolutely acquiring folks head over to Geary Street or wherever the fuck the Warriors had their parade at and just look around, you know, by that route, if you see anything sparkling, pick it up and that’s yours.


Jamel Johnson: Shout out to E-40 for setting the finals record for most most custom Louis Vuitton print in a series.


Jason Concepcion: Yes.


Ryan Wallerson: That’s the man.


Jason Concepcion: And by the way, shouts the NBA for for adding the Louie case to the trophy some years back. That’s exactly how you need to be doing this, by the way. Like, I want more. I love a ring. I would love to see others. I would love to see like like a ring on the top of a baton, you know, like a swagger stick that a general would have.


Jamel Johnson: You want a sceptre..


Jason Concepcion: Yeah, like a sceptre. Like I’m talking like a sceptre. I would love to see, like, a crown or a yeah, I love to see, like, Louis Capes with the fur lining. Like.


Jamel Johnson: Everybody gets capes.


Ryan Wallerson: Louie capes with the fur.


Jason Concepcion: Everybody gets like, we need to add some stuff. I’m just saying we need to add some stuff, some stuff to it.


Jamel Johnson: The trainer with a cape on.


Zuri Irvin: Maybe a belt, like a championship belt to.


Jamel Johnson: That could be fun.


Jason Concepcion: Absolutely. And the other thing I love about a parade is less owners talking. Like all all the clips that pop up, whether it’s Draymond, you know, being petty, talking shit, half hammered, hanging off someone’s shoulder and just yelling into their phone or Klay, you know, passing out. I’m just glad that it’s less owners and more of the players just getting to enjoy them. So show me one. Toscano-Anderson, you know, fucked up. I love 60 year old Andrew Wiggins. I love this stuff. I love the fact that it’s were centered on the players. When it’s this part of the celebration.


Jamel Johnson: What are they going to say? Now? I’ll tell you what we’re going to say. Klay and Andrew Wiggins need to go to bed.


Jason Concepcion: Does did anybody catch the Dre kind of like going back and forth? Would Ja Morant a little bit?


Zuri Irvin: Yeah.


Jason Concepcion: Did anybody get into that part of it? What do you make of what do we make of that? I’ll tell you, my my take away is to the winner go the spoils, right? You win and you get this 48 hours or or even, you know, three months summer to just talk your shit you won. And now you get to to open up that. That notebook where you’ve been keeping notes on all the slights that have been aimed your way, real or imagined, and you just get to talk shit. That’s how I feel about it. But maybe other people feel differently.


Ryan Wallerson: No, I agree.


Jamel Johnson: No. I agree with that man. I just hope that the Grizzlies can withstand this and become a real rival. Yeah, there was a point in my life where I thought the Wizards are going to be a rival to the Celtics, but it was one season.  It did not make it past one season. If the Grizzlies can make it through NBA 76 and they got to face the Warriors in the playoffs, I think America wins regardless.


Zuri Irvin: Draymond’s line about like property value being worth more in Boston I think is an all time diss. Also is Jai like a fake tough guy? Is he a real tough guy or is he like a fake tough guy?


Jason Concepcion: Oh, so there was this, right? So there was this kind of like social media driven conversation where it was like, oh, Jai is acting as if, you know, like he’s acting tough in a certain way. That doesn’t actually add up. I saw some coverage. Oh, he’s you know, he had a full basketball full length basketball court on that in his house when he grew up in the in the outskirts of, you know, the countryside of of South Carolina. I think Jai is a young and confident, a star budding top ten guy in the league, and he has earned the right to be proud of himself and to add to discourse in a certain way. That’s how I felt about it. And also whether or not I agree that someone’s putting on airs. I just love the content, man. I’m here for it. I’m here for guys going back and forth. That’s what I’m here for.


Jamel Johnson: We got to talk about this shit and we need him to keep saying shit, so we got shit to say.


Jason Concepcion: Please, Oh, also.


Ryan Wallerson: If you talk that shit, but you can’t back it up on the basketball court, you’re worried you’re going to mean less because that’s when it’s like your online gangster NBA version. But when you can pop off on Twitter and then show up at the arena and drop 35 and posterize people and be like the catalyst of your team’s victory, talk your shit.


Jamel Johnson: And also, this isn’t the eighties, bro. Everybody in the NBA grew up rich. Now, since Steph’s dad was in the league.


Jason Concepcion: Klay’s dad was in the league?


Jamel Johnson: Yeah. Draymond had Invisalign in college. Get out of here, dog. Everybody’s got money now. This isn’t the eighties. This isn’t like Scottie Pippen playing basketball in a dirt road. Everybody grew up with paper. This is a new world.


Jason Concepcion: Shout out to Jai Morant’s iconic deleted tweet from May, Hollow points don’t cost no money. Let’s remember that he tweeted this.


Jamel Johnson: Oh, my God.


Jason Concepcion: He tweeted in a twitter. Hallow points don’t cost a thing.


Zuri Irvin: Maybe he’s a real tough guy. I did.


Jason Concepcion: He did delete it, which shows wisdom. But that is a fucking wild thing to tweet.


Ryan Wallerson: Or at the very least, a wise team around him. Like Jai, please take that down.


Jason Concepcion: Yes. Yeah, we miss you. Let’s talk about a thing that does cost a lot of money, which is the Liv golf series. Breaking news today, Brooks Koepka, one of the biggest young stars in golf after denigrating this this tour, as many have before taking the money, has taken the money. Brooks will now join Liv, but of course, join the real world tour for the for the major tournaments. This, you know obviously Liv is bankrolled by the Saudi sovereign wealth fund in what is clearly a an attempt to flex their financial muscle in order to burnish the reputation of the country and the government and the and the royal family, which has, among other unsavory things, recently been blamed quite authoritatively for the murder and dismemberment of The Washington Post reporter Jamal Khashoggi. What’s your dollar figure? I asked this when we talked to Andrew Beaton of The Wall Street Journal. Let me ask everybody here. What’s your fuck it all work for Assassin’s number?


Jamel Johnson: 500,000.


Ryan Wallerson: Do you know how many people could give that to you?


Jamel Johnson: Half a million.


Zuri Irvin: I know that’s right.


Jason Concepcion: I mean, yeah, no, this is not, like, at all, but I think we could. I think I could go out there and beat the bushes today and come up with $500,000 today.


Jamel Johnson: Do it. Get it done. Get it done brother, I’m a need that. I’m a need that soon.


Jason Concepcion: Zuri?


Zuri Irvin: I don’t know the number. Maybe some type of like Alex Caruso type deal gave me like ten mil 20 million like that. Just whatever it is, just give me a player option where I can just cash out and have it be on my own team.


Jason Concepcion: So let me let me let’s quick say some of the things you’re going need to consider when when adding up what your fucking money is. Right. This is the end. This is the end of the road. Whatever this number is, you have to take into account that you’re probably not going to be able to work again, you know, in regular the regular world like Brooks Koepka, his formulation is okay, you know, obviously I’m going to be able to do the majors, but what if the PGA bans me? I can never go back to the PGA. Right. I got to make all the money that I need to make right now. Certainly Phil Mickelson and his, well, well-reported gambling issues, that’s part of what his formulation is. He’s like, I’m in trouble. I need money to support my lavish lifestyle, which I’ve accrued over many years of of playing top level golf. So for all of us here. You’re thinking, okay, I’m going to go work for terrible people. I’m going to go work for Blaze Sports. I’m going to do exactly, you know, whatever the version of that, I’m going to go work for Tucker Carlson’s newest media group. I need to make an amount of money where I am done. It doesn’t matter if I’m never hired by anybody ever again. For Jamel, it’s 500,000 cool, half mil tax free.


Jamel Johnson: It’s got to be cash. .It’s got to be cash. It’s got to be under the table. You can even. You people can’t even know thats I got any mooney.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah. Right, right, right, right, right. So, Zuri, what would it be?


Zuri Irvin: Well, I’m glad you clarified that. I think of this as like I’m going to go produce Trump’s podcast. Like, that’s kind of like, you know the end all, be all.


Jason Concepcion: It’s like kind of like that is kind of like that.


Zuri Irvin: I’m going to switch my answer from Alex Caruso money to Alex Rodriguez money.


Ryan Wallerson: There you go.


Zuri Irvin: You got ten years, ten years,$250 again, tax free like your Jamel said and it would still hurt. My thing is like you could, but it would still hurt.


Jason Concepcion: It would still hurt. I mean, everybody I mean, I would never speak to you again. Everybody here would never speak to you again. That’s the thing. That’s what we that’s what we’re talking about. It’s like everybody will turn their backs on you.


Zuri Irvin: Yeah, I’d still do it for. No, I’m just kidding.


Jamel Johnson: $250s hefty.


Jason Concepcion: Ryan. $250, that’s half the bill that’s legitimately you can talk about quarter of $1,000,000,000. When you have $250, you know what I mean.


Ryan Wallerson: I’m taking a you say Alex Rodriguez’s contract. I’m taking Garrett Cole’s put me over 300 million. I’m a third of a way to a billion. I’m going to I’m going to spend it right. So I’m going to make sure that it lasts indefinitely, not just me, but my clan, whoever’s left, whoever is still talking to me, probably not many people. And we’re we’re going to roll like that.


Zuri Irvin: I like how  the number keeps increasing. All right, Jason? Jason, what? What’s your number?


Jason Concepcion: Oh, fuck, man. Well, it’s it’s it’s it’s different because I do have I have irons in the fire and I’ve made the deal with myself that very specifically, I’m going to do as many things as possible. I’m going to have as many irons in the fire in my career so that no one has that leverage over me where I have to take a bad job or work for a person that I don’t kind of like because they give me a big paycheck. That said, yeah, it would have to be in the certainly in the hundreds of millions, I’m going to say career earnings. Not only that, but I’m throwing away a brand that I have established and worked hard to establish over many, many years. I’m throwing away ideals that I legitimately have. I’m going to have to look at my family, never speaking to me again, my partners being like, Is this the person that I originally got into a relationship with? All my friends being like, Fuck that guy. He’s a piece of shit.


Jamel Johnson: I’d still be your friend just because I wouldn’t be paying attention to the headlines, but I wouldn’t even realize, Oh, this thing work for the devil?


Ryan Wallerson: He would just notice that now y’all are eating at Nobu every time you have lunch.


Jason Concepcion: You’re right. I’m going to lose. I’m going to lose all the writing gigs I have with Shea. I’m going to lose like all the stuff that I’m doing. So I’m going to say, let’s call it half a billion dollars. It’s called $500 million. And and in return, y’all never see me again. That’s it. I’m going to do this. I’m going to do this terrible work for the length of the contract and then, because I understand the depravity of what I’ve done, I am going to go away to some land that I have bought and y’all will never hear from me again. I’m going to be there without without any social media connection, not opining on anything. Just like feeding feeding my cattle and sheep and and being outside of the public eye for the rest of my life. We’re spending $500 million in shame.


Jamel Johnson: No burner. Not even a burner. You’re not going fire up the burner.


Jason Concepcion: I probably I would make a burner. I would make somebody where I would defend, where I would defend selling out for the worst people of the world, for $500 million. Actually, come on. Who wouldn’t have taken that about what you told me, You wouldn’t have done? You. I’m not saying.


Zuri Irvin: You could donate some of it, you know.


Jason Concepcion: Also donate a significant amount of it.


Zuri Irvin: Yeah. So we need, like ExxonMobil to bankroll this this idea. I don’t even know where the money is actually coming from, but.


Jason Concepcion: I mean, it’s you know, here’s the thing about the Saudis is they got us. Like go to the gas pump right now. It’s at $6.50 , $7.10. Right. They understand the world. Yes. Climate change is going to kill us real, real soon. But before that time, you need your food to get to the market. You need. You need to take a plane somewhere. You need to ship something. You need to go to work. And guess what? Your shit runs on gas, doesn’t it? And the world is in turmoil right now. But you need us. So what are we going to do? We’re going to flex their muscles. We’re going to spend that. That money that you’re putting into our gas, and we give it to Brooks Keopka. We’re going to give it to Phil Mickelson. And there ain’t a fucking thing that you can do about it because you need us right now. That’s what the Saudis are saying. And so all of us really are part of the fuck you money process right now. Like we are part of it right now. We are living that life right now. All of it, all of this inflation is in part because the Saudis are living a fuck you money lifestyle and they are making us part of it.


Jamel Johnson: Speak for yourself. I ride the bus.


Ryan Wallerson: I was about to say I took one look at these gas prices when I got back to Los Angeles and I was like all the public transportation routes.


Jamel Johnson: Tap card what up?


Jason Concepcion: You think that that’s the case? But again, like all of your groceries, get to the grocery store because of gas, all.


Ryan Wallerson: That’s true. It’s impossible to disengage..


Jason Concepcion: Like the like not to bring it serious for a second, but it’s, you know, all the inflation that we’re dealing with, it’s great. You know, I guess that they’re going to raise rates and make credit cards and all that stuff more expensive. That said, the source of inflation right now is gas prices. And they’re right. It’s like the seventies, unless Joey Bides is thinking, Hey, maybe we invade Saudi Arabia and just take it over Iraq style. This shit going to be high for a long time. That’s why Joe Joe Biden, who earlier in his in his run as president, said, oh, Saudi Arabia is pariah state. They they killed Jamal Khashoggi and cut up his body and that’s fucked up and we can’t support that is now being like hey we love the Saudis are great aren’t they great folks? We love them. I love golf just like you love golf. And everything they do is is so awesome. Riyadh, this time of year is a little hot, but one of my favorite places to sip on an Arnold Palmer on a rooftop by the pool. Love it over there in Riyadh, folks, we. And what choice do we have? Because they got us. They got us by the neck.


Jamel Johnson: Is he also falling off a bike while he says that?


Jason Concepcion: I bet that maybe my guy is fucking looks like Andrew Wiggins but all the time. Let’s go to Dan Devine and talk about these finals.


Jason Concepcion: [AD]


Jason Concepcion: Golden State Warriors are champions of the NBA after finishing off the Boston Celtics in six mostly boring games, except for the one where Steph Curry went crazy. Joining us now to talk about it, fresh off Father’s Day, that Father’s Day glow still around him. And it’s wonderful to talk to him now. While I’m not standing on the side of the road in New Mexico, is my former colleague. One of the greatest to ever do it. Ever. Is Dan Devine. Dan, how are you?


Dan Devine: Oh, I’m well. I’m glad that the glow is still showing off of me. That it has, yes, I’ve retained it after a couple of days because the first thing that happened to me on Father’s Day was my four year old.


Jason Concepcion: Yes.


Dan Devine: Looked at me as I walked out of the bedroom and just went. And just held her nose like, Yo, you stink and.


Jamel Johnson: Aww man.


Dan Devine: And it’s a bad start this morning. And I was like, even on this day, on my one day, it’s a tough start, but the season’s over. I get to be, like, talking to y’all at a time where I’ve slept. It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing. So thank you so much for having me back. I showered. So I don’t think like that anymore. So it’s good to go. Let’s rock


Jason Concepcion: So let me ask this. Was that a legitimate critique or was she just she was just roasting you for no apparent? Like, what was it?


Dan Devine: Well, I mean, listen, I you know, it’s everything for me to say at that point, you know, like, yeah, it did lead me to make some changes. I’m not going to sit here and say that I didn’t address the situation.


Jamel Johnson: Man. Don’t, don’t, don’t let a four year old mess up your soap routine. Kids don’t know what stinks.


Jason Concepcion: They don’t what it is.


Jamel Johnson: Kids don’t know what stinks until they’re, like 20.


Dan Devine: That’s exactly right. Yeah. I mean, she’s flat. She’s flagrantly disrespectful. She stinks all the time. And I’m out here trying to, like, you know.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah.


Dan Devine: But anyway, that’s not why you brought me here today. To to to annihilate after the fact, both myself and my four year old. That’s not why we’re here today.


Jason Concepcion: Let’s start here, Dan, as a hardcore sports journalist.


Dan Devine: That’s right.


Jason Concepcion: Hardcore.


Dan Devine: Mm hmm.


Jason Concepcion: The hard hitting shit. Do you switch off after the finals or do you watch the parade? Also, I ask because any good any good championship parade is measured by the the risk of alcohol poisoning to the people involved. And I think it was pretty high. Watching the Warriors parade, we did see Klay Thompson drop his championship ring on the ground. We did see him run over a woman who is just standing there. We did see him slumped in his chair wearing a captain’s hat to do. Do you watch that or do you just go, I’m done. I’ve done my work. I’m thinking about free agency. I’m thinking about the draft, and I’m looking forward as a hard core journalist. What does Dan Devine do with the championship parade?


Dan Devine: Well, I used to have to write about that, too, and it was like whatever viral moments from the parade, it was like I had to write 15 posts about that bullshit. So now I don’t have to do that anymore.


Jason Concepcion: You’re a hard core journalist.


Dan Devine: I am. I’m tracking Klay through. It’s like, you know how they have, like, the Tiger Tracker, like the dude who is like on Tiger, all the way through. I’m watching Klay, and it’s like it’s like a family circus, cartoon dotted lines, weaving in and out of stuff and maybe getting wet and falling down. I tuned in for just like, just to see how much people were going to get to say, because there was that question of like, are the players going to get to actually talk and make statements? Because you want to hear from Draymond and you want to hear just how faded everybody is on a scale and establishing like, yeah, I got, you know, sort of like a bandwidth of who’s where. But I was I mean, Klay wasn’t game six. Klay in game six, he was Game six player at the parade. So that’s like it was nice to see him make a comeback strong in that way. And I just hope that a lot of bystanders in the Bay Area are keeping their head on a swivel out there.Because it’s real. It’s real for him right now.


Jamel Johnson: Okay. I got a question. Let me let me ask you some legacy stuff. I’m an NBA fan.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah.


Jamel Johnson: Which which means I can only enjoy something if I can compare it to some shit I saw when I was a child.


Dan Devine: And denigrated and denigrated in comparison to.


Jamel Johnson: And then denigrate it in comparison. Yeah.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah.


Jamel Johnson: Warriors for Chips. They’ve got an attitude. Is this the closest thing to the bad boys that we’ll ever see you think of they Klay used to clothesline fools. Draymond is playing football during the basketball game. Shout out to Zaza Pachulia Just you catch in astray Just cause.


Dan Devine: I mean my immediate thought is I watched those Britain grind Grizzlies teams and like Tony Allen literally savate kicked Chris Paul in the head like I saw that happen in the paint. So if we’re talking about like who who’s getting that? Zach Randolph. Zach Randolph CHOKESLAMS. Blake Griffin. Like he was Cain. I saw that happen.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah, that was crazy.


Jamel Johnson: Yeah, okay. That’s fair.


Jason Concepcion: That did happen.


Dan Devine: So just in terms of sheer physicality, but in terms of accomplishment, those two, those Grizzlies teams did not get there. So I kind of feel what you’re saying from that that that those bad boys teams, they went back to back but they only won two, right? And then they weren’t able to to kind of extend that. And this is like I mean four in eight years with six finals trips in that time and you know, with, you know, the only real down period being when two of their three most important guys got hurt for extended periods of time. Like this is pretty a pretty remarkable run. Like the serious answer to this is we haven’t seen something like this extended in the in like a shorter period of time to like it’s not the Spurs four and 15 or whatever this is four and eight like that’s that’s since the Bulls. We haven’t seen that since the mid nineties. And if Steph is this and if Klay is better next year than he is this year coming off another year move from that injury in that rehab and those young guys are able to sort of keep it, keep cooking and develop. I don’t know that we are necessarily done.


Jamel Johnson: And that’s fair.


Jason Concepcion: I and I think a lot of hardcore NBA journalists looked at this series and.


Dan Devine: Like you.


Jason Concepcion: Like myself, hard core.


Dan Devine: That’s right.


Jason Concepcion: Like leathery, hard bitten. You know, I’ve got that pencil stuck in my cap and I’ve got a little note pad in my breast pocket.


Dan Devine: Breaking down slob sets like you’re watching eight. Mm. Yeah. It’s, it’s.


Jason Concepcion: I’m just in there crushing tape. Right. Nonstop, nonstop, nonstop. And that research. Brought me to the following conclusion. I think a lot of a lot of hard bitten NBA journalists also came to this conclusion before the series, which is the Celtics look like the better team on paper, but the Warriors have that X factor of, you know, experience. They’ve been here before, they know how to win, etc. And then as it played out, it became clear that really the big thing, along with the experiences the Celtics best three players are turnover machines and the team’s one Achilles heel is turnovers because they are a great defensive team, right? You’re looking for any easy point you could get. And gratefully for the Warriors, the Celtics three best players are going to give you those easy opportunities time and time and time again. Is there how does how did the Celtics solve this problem? Because it’s a structural problem and it is one that really needs to be solved. I’m not saying they can’t win a title as constructed, but you got to solve that problem. What did the Celtics do going into 2022?


Dan Devine: Well, yeah. I mean, the first thing is it’s funny to have seen a Warriors finals where they’re not the team that was throwing the ball over the fucking place. Right. Like the Warriors lost because Steph was throwing behind the back lefty passes in game seven. Right. Like and then. Yeah. And they became like they were all of a sudden the mature steady ones. Yeah. I mean it is, it’s, it’s a function of the way they build, as you said, like if you make Marcus Smart your point guard because you want to have that size in the backcourt and be able to switch everything, like it’s the function of how their defense went from like really good to insane is part, that’s part of it. It means that you’re, you’re not going to have it in an elite table setter, a guy who’s going to make like the steady state pass every time and who might be prone to just like a random six for 18 or six for 19 because he feels like he’s got it going or he’s going to shoot until he does. And when you don’t have somebody to, like, settle those possessions down, it makes it really difficult to generate good offense. It makes it easier to get into the quicksand, which we saw so much from them in the fourth quarters. So one, I mean, easy is not really the word for it because they’ve constructed their team this way. But if you and now that you’ve given Smart the keys for a year and you know, we’re a 50 win team that will make the best team in the NBA for most of the season. How do you take them back and go like, actually, no, you’re a two guard again.


Jason Concepcion: Right.


Dan Devine: And really small. With only, you know, with. And that was the other thing. The construction was Robert Williams next to Al Horford or Grant Williams with it. Like always, two bigs that made their defense so tough to score against on the interior. How do you get all of those guys on the court while also improving the ball handling improving the facilitating it means like you need internal development from Tatum, from Brown and from Smart Smart’s like 28 years old. Like, I don’t know that he’s going to get dramatically better at ball security or ball handling. Brown and Tatum are young, but they’ve also like they’ve been in the league seven or eight years now. This is kind of who they are. I mean, the hope is that you can just reduce that margin if those guys get X percent better at just not fucking throwing it all over the place, that then like you reduce the vulnerability to that one big problem. And if they do that, maybe they win in six games because that really was it. I mean, we all look for smart things to point out, but like if they didn’t throw the ball all over the place, they would have won the finals. So do a little bit less of that. And it’s not really as much of about roster construction as much as about like you just can’t do that as often.


Jamel Johnson: I’ve got two words for you, gentlemen. Lethal dribbler. They got to get with my guy. Lethal dribbler. In the off season. Start dribbling bricks. Start dribbling bricks underwater.


Dan Devine: Mm hmm.


Jamel Johnson: You will see the results.


Dan Devine: So you think it’s not. It’s not a Drew Hanlen solution? It’s not, like just more time with him.


Jamel Johnson: It’s my guy Stew Handlen. Drew.


Jason Concepcion: Stupid.


Jamel Johnson: Stew Handling a.k.a the lethal dribble.


Dan Devine: You start. You start with two tourines of Stew and you just underwater.


Jamel Johnson: You just in and out. In and out. In and out.


Dan Devine: Oh, yeah, yeah. All right.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah. Let me ask you. So, first of all, I love Jaylen Brown. I have an affinity for a guy with no spin move in his bag and constantly doing spin moves as as a person who roots for Julius Randle. I love to see that. It makes me so it just feels like home when I see that. But, you know, some people are going to look at this and say, well, you know, Marcus Smart, 28. Smart for Brogdon, Tyce Jones, you know, some kind of like do we do we make a move there with either do we pick one of the guys who isn’t Jayson Tatum and go in for a playmaker? Or is it do you see a move like that out there or are the Celtics going to say, no, these are three guys. That’s the culture of this team and we’re going to figure out how to improve around the margins. And just to what you’re saying, just be smarter with the ball and stop if your bag is empty, don’t go in there looking for a spin move because the spin move’s not there. It’s very aggressively not there.


Dan Devine: We’ve establish that if nothing else we learned over the course of the final. Yeah, I mean, I don’t think that they can I don’t really think that’s an option for them. I mean, yeah, as much as it is, it would be wonderful to have a like 6 to 1 assist to turnover ratio. A point guard like doing that takes away from the fundamental way they wanted to build the team which was huge defense right. Huge everywhere. Defense switch everything and like Brogdon is a guy who you know maybe yeah he’s certainly eminently gettable from the Pacers right now but also gets injured all the time and plays 50 games and isn’t a better player than Marcus Smart. Right. And you know, someone like Tyus Jones, that’s a you know who’s a guy who’s like like a for a player in baseball. Right. Like where he’s been like really good as a six man, a backup point guard, but maybe not good enough to be your starter and like really helpful in Memphis, but going to get a lot of money figuring out how to make something like that work with that roster is really, really tricky and it just goes back to like, I don’t think Brad Stevens and Eme Udoka and whoever else is making decisions in Boston is looking at that and saying, our problem is that we need to like dramatically dismantle what worked and it’s the margins that got to get a little bit better at it. But that said, I mean, if you if you get an option to like really upgrade with an elite level point guard and I don’t know who that guy is that that would be there as a as a an available like significant upgrade who doesn’t was worth taking that step back defensively then maybe you do it. But and I would say as far as that question of splitting up the J’s, if Jaylen Brown got on the market like 29 other teams would be instantly like, yes, we want that. Because the thing that I’ll remember from outside of just how many broken possessions there were, is that when it was Game seven and they needed somebody, he was the only one getting buckets, he was the only one attacking the rim and trying to make something happen and combine that with the size, the defense of that work and all that. Like that’s a guy. If you were going to get rid of him, you need like the motherload to get back.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah.


Jamel Johnson: I don’t want to spend too much time on the guys that lost, but just a quick honorable mention to the worst player in Game six, Derrick White. The man.


Jason Concepcion: Oh, man. I was.


Jamel Johnson: So afraid. It was like you remember in the Waterboy when the dude gets picked in the onside kick, that was that was Derrick White. The entire game after playing so good early in the season are the Celtics are going to move on from him get a new backup?


Dan Devine: I think I mean I think he’s under contract for at least one more year after this. I think that that they’re they’re like going to say, well, we started to become awesome with that guy and like, he was huge for most of the playoffs. I think what it is is that like Fred VanVleet had the kid in the middle of the playoffs and his power up last through the end of the finals. Derrick White’s kid based Power Up just ended a little early, you know, like this. The Super Mario Star just like ran out a little bit early as he’s trying to he’s trying to run over the spikes and say runs out a little early. And I think the answer here is very clear. The answer is very clear. Stagger the birthday a little bit later, a little bit later in the conference finals and then you’re good money.


Jason Concepcion: The salary weight of the Golden State Warriors, I think, has been a big, big point of contention. Wendy, the great the great Windhorst over at ESPN caused a bit of a stir by mentioning, hey, you got to when you compete with the Warriors, you’ve got to compete with their their checkbook as well as their players, notably Andrew Wiggins, Maple Mamba, who spent most of his career disappointing everyone and and the entire nation of Canada, has blossomed into a real impact. A real two way impact player. I don’t think that’s. Is that like controversial like that happened? Like, yes, Andrew Wiggins is a champion now. But like everybody’s acting like, oh, I saw it. I knew it. I knew he was going to be. No, you didn’t. No one did. This is what’s great about it. None of us saw it. So Andrew Wiggins was an incredible player. Like, if this was 2015, they’d probably give him the finals MVP over Steph Curry. Jordan Poole has emerged as a real impact player off the bench and as a spot starter when Steph Curry needs to be on the bench. And of course the Warriors are carrying a salary that is inching towards half a billion dollars. So, you know, when you put all the taxes and everything into it. What do we do here? You mentioned the Spurs earlier four over 14, 15 years. Part of how they were able to do that was bringing in players over time, you know, like like Ginobili, who then emerged as as a key contributor to that team, finding all the right pieces to fit around Tim Duncan as as that core began to age. I think you could make the argument now that, you know, maybe the worst contracts that the Warriors have a guard Klay Thompson to Draymond Green. Right. So what happens with Andrew Wiggins? What happens with Jordan Poole? What happens with with James Wiseman, the number two pick, who they didn’t even need?


Dan Devine: I think the most important number here in all of this is 1.5 billion. And that’s what Joe Lacobs net worth is as of right now on Forbes. Pay up. That’s the answer.


Jason Concepcion: Pay up.


Dan Devine: The answer is you pay up because that also Chase Center is basically a good ATM for him and for that franchise. That was why it’s why they moved to San Francisco. It’s why they were like, you know, the idea of whatever gave you additional like $15 million or something like that in gate revenue for every home game they have in the playoffs, it’s a slot machine, it pays out. And so the thing that like it’s, you know, Steph does not get like vocal about I want you to do this or I want you to do that. Like the power plays out publicly, like some of the other stars of his era. But when he took that supermax last summer, the extension and it was like the implication behind all that was we’re done fucking around. Yeah, I now have my commitment from the organization that they are going to spend to keep it together. And now maybe that’s not every single, you know, player down the 15 man roster but like if there’s a question of pony up for Poole and restricted free agency doesn’t matter pay it preserve the asset because now you know the salary slot like it was with the KD to D’Angelo Russell to wig out a salary slot matters because that’s how you add the talent. When you’re over the tax line, you just need to be able to continue filling in that that salary slot. Yes. Pay that man. Yeah. Gary Payton. Gary Payton. The second the vibes of letting him go right now pay that man like and then the hope or the belief is eventually this not that any one of those young players that the Warriors have is going to turn into Kawhi or whatever. But like that core guys, you know, Jonathan Kuminga, James Wiseman, Moses Moody, those young dudes will be able to then like be your six, seven, eight guys. And that’s where you save the money. Instead of paying like Otto Porter, $2.5 million, it turns into 18 with tax bills. You pay those guys.


Jamel Johnson: Get him out of here. Get Otto Porter . Vacate Otto Porter’s title.


Jason Concepcion: We got.


Jamel Johnson: Right now.


We got to talk about this.


Dan Devine: I do need to hear this.


Jason Concepcion: Because listen as it Knicks fan, a feeling that I am quite used to is watching players who the Knicks cast off, watching them perform and impact a team in another team in the postseason and deep into the postseason. Jamel of course is the Wizards fan. Imagine the pain of watching Otto Porter Jr wn a fucking ring. He won a, Otto Porter won a ring.


Dan Devine: Jamel, you’re the beef here is with the Brooklyn Nets. Or it is the Sacramento Kings? Right. The Kings sign him to that offer sheet.


Jamel Johnson: Yeah, it was with the Kings.


Dan Devine: It was the Kings, as always. It’s Fuck the kings, it’s get out, get out. Vivek That’s the that’s the issue here.


Jamel Johnson: The issue is with myself, okay. I don’t I you yell because I wanted him to stay. I was like, keep him. I saw him become a really good three point shooter and all he was able to do was shoot threes in this final and he actually hit him. Oh, it was disgusting to watch.


Dan Devine: Oh, now, the real the people who are really hurting on this is like the Bulls made a big move for him and were like, order might be like the third piece of a retail. And then it’s like absolutely like, you know, ten man broke down for two years and now winds up being, you know, the missing piece small ball for the championship team difficult.


Jamel Johnson: I hate that he was the perfect the missing piece on a championship team. I hate that I had to watch it.


Jason Concepcion: What the Wizards really need is another power forward. They got Kristaps, they got Rui, they got Avia. They really they really, really, really need one more forward.


Jamel Johnson: Jason, we’re reinventing basketball.


Dan Devine: That’s not a reinvention, by the way. That by the way, the the Knicks tried the all five power forwards lineup and it didn’t work so hot.


Jason Concepcion: Finally, one more legacy question. It’s throughout the run up to this finals when the Warriors from top to bottom I’m talking like Lacob on down to anyone associated with this crew has been very, very loudly. Working. Laying the track to separate this finals win from their previous finals wins, specifically the finals that they won with Kevin Durant. It’s been it’s been a point of discussion. Oh, this is the greatest one we ever did. This is the most special one. You know, this was always Steph’s team. Always throughout everything. You know, I’m not denigrating anybody, but it was always Steph’s team, those kinds of of comments. How do you view this in the context of the Warriors run? And of course, the run is ongoing. How do you look at this? And what do you make of those who are not really subtle attempts to distance this Warriors team from the Warriors team? With Kevin Durant.


Dan Devine: I mean it’s it’s like there is a classic, you know, post-breakup behavior to it. Like, listen, I like I go, whatever happy I was with you. I can be that happy without you. Like I, I, I’m the one that was the get I’m the one that was the catch, not you. Three years later, maybe it’s like, well, you don’t have to be so loud about that. Like, you can just kind of live your own life comfortably and everybody’s moved on pretty well. But I think in terms of of what the title was like, that was the thing. I kind of it struck me watching the finals. Everybody had talked about the Warriors, you to turn all those young guys or all those whatever contracts and assets into another superstar. Right. Whether that was Bradley Beal or whoever, like that needs to be another superstar. And it’s because the KD era broke our brains. Like the 15 Warriors were a really good team that had flaws. And every other team in NBA history, basically, that wins a championship was like a really good team that wasn’t invincible. And then the Warriors kind of fucked up the game. They broke our brains for the way we understand what a champion needs to look like. So then this year it’s like, Yeah, there’s a bunch of really good teams that all have flaws. So then you figure out matchups and styles, make fights and whatever. So I think for them to look at it and say, Yeah, we can still win this way. We never couldn’t win this way. Even when KD got hurt against the Rockets in that 2019 playoffs, we still close them out that way. And we won. You know, we kept going. We would have won a championship maybe, if not for Klay, going down like we felt. They always felt this could work. So I get why they look at it like this is proof of concept, even if it didn’t really need one. And the emotional component like Steph breaking down, crying on the court because like they were a 15 and 50 team that went all the way down to the bottom. I understand why this is more sort of special in the moment after the fact, but it’s like they’re they’re recognizing and saying out loud to like, yeah, we understand that what we did there and what happened there was like a break from a history. But this is what works and this is what can work for us. And this is why we’re special. We make us special, not whatever we brought in from outside doesn’t change the fact that you went and started calling from out, like from the parking lot after you lost LeBron to go get what was outside, to bring it in to make you special again.


Jason Concepcion: But by the way, that’s the part of the story that always gets brushed past that. They were recruiting KD. I mean, they were calling him, wanted him to come, pitching him on, joining the team. We always forget that. We don’t want to talk about that part of it, but I digress.


Dan Devine: They’re the Hampton’s five because they all went to the Hamptons to fucking ask KD to come. Like that was why that line up was that line up.


Jamel Johnson: After everything, this just makes the 2016 final that much better. It’s still game seven of 2016 is still the best game I ever watched. And every year after it gets better.


Dan Devine: Well, I think that’s the way to look at all of this, right? Like what just happened, I guess, unless you’re a Celtics fan, in which case, you know, we’re playing the world’s smallest violins for you. But like this, this enriches everything before. It validates the early championships and that that 73 win team, it makes the 2016 finals. Then the Cavs coming back even more insane and incredible. It makes what we saw during those KD years like it preserves it in amber is something that’s like we’re never going to see a team like that again. And then it all, it elevates everybody who’s left with the Warriors now Steph, Klay, Draymond, everybody. It elevates all those guys legacies after the fact. It’s not often that everybody comes away a winner, I guess again, maybe except for Boston and KD, but like everybody comes away a winner in this situation and we got to watch some pretty cool basketball along the way.


Jason Concepcion: Dan Devine, it’s been wonderful having you here. I just want to note also the Game seven, 2016, we got Game seven, 2016 and then Game of Thrones, Battle of the Bastards later that evening. What a Sunday. Of fucking.


Jamel Johnson:  It gets better and better.


Jason Concepcion: Content and television. That was. Oh, my God. Dan, it’s been wonderful to see you. It’s been wonderful to talk with you. I love it. I love having you on. Please come back. I’m begging you.


Dan Devine: It was my pleasure. Thank you very much, Jamel, wonderful to see you as well. And I hope our legacies are only burnished by this this discussion.


Jason Concepcion: Yes.


Jamel Johnson: Amen.


Jason Concepcion: That is a hope.


Jason Concepcion: [AD]


Jason Concepcion: Oh, you know what those drums mean. It’s the first day of summer and it’s time for Take Survivor, the game where only the strongest take wins. Today four veterans of the Take Survivor Island, their faces smeared with blood and victory. Up first, he is a standup comedian. He’s the co-host of this episode today. He’s also the co-host of the Air Buds podcast, fresh off a Z PAC. He is Jamel Johnson. Jamel, how are you?


Jamel Johnson: Hello. I’m playing on behalf of my immune system today, Jason.


Jason Concepcion: He is the director of video development at Crooked Media. He’s a former producer on a bunch of the stuff that I’ve done here at Crooked Media. He is Elijah Cone. Elijah, how are you?


Elijah Cone: Jason I’m great. The content is flowing through me today. I’m ready.


Jason Concepcion: Ohhh. She is a producer of Hysteria a dare we say it Crooked Media. And she’s just been trouncing around Europe learning about European Union legislation, and now she’s headed on another vacation and she’s one of the greatest to ever do it. She is C.R. Caroline Reston. Caroline, how are you?


Caroline Reston: Oh, my God, I’m so good. I thought we were feuding because I hadn’t been on this Take Survivor for a while. And then Zuri said, 830.


Jason Concepcion: You’ve been in Europe.


Caroline Reston: Yeah. Well, then during that 830 AM, I was like, Oh, we are feuding, okay.


Jason Concepcion: And he is a producer of this show. He is Ryan Wallerson. And Ryan, how are you?


Ryan Wallerson: I’m good, Jason. You know, for me, it’s a lot more blood than victory. But let’s see if we can do something about that today.


Jason Concepcion: Well, everybody here knows the rules, so we don’t need to really do that. So let’s just jump into it with our very first prompt. What’s the classiest article of clothing? The NBA draft is set for this Thursday, June 23rd, at the BarClays Center in Brooklyn. Who could forget some of the most memorable draft suits in NBA history, including LeBron’s white suit in 2003? Carmelo’s gigantic suit, also in 2003. Kevin Knox’s Fortnite suit a few years back, probably the most the most impactful thing that he’s done with regards to the NBA. But let’s say you’ve got a big event like the NBA draft or the Oscars, some of some awards show or some big meeting or a wedding. What is the single classiest article of clothing a person can wear? It doesn’t have to be one that you particularly own, just the single classiest article of clothing. Ryan, let’s start with you.


Ryan Wallerson: Okay? Okay. You know, the NBA draft is this week, but I’m not going to take my cadence from a prospective player. I’m going to go elsewhere in the basketball universe and say that my answer is inspired by one Ernie Johnson.


Jason Concepcion: Ernie Johnson.


Ryan Wallerson: Because it’s got to be it’s got to be the loud bow tie. Well, it’s got to be the bow tie that not only is enhancing the overall fit from the traditional tie, but then it’s also got to be loud. It’s got to like tie your entire outfit together, color schemes, maybe something like embroidered jewelry, like make the thing sizzle. And I think that goes down for me. It’s the hottest piece of clothing one can put on.


Jason Concepcion: Damn. Ryan goes with the Tucker Carlson. It’s really early for this, but we’re doing it right off the bat. Caroline Reston What is the single most classy article of clothing?


Caroline Reston: Okay, so I may have misunderstood the assignment here, but because the Warriors just won the NBA finals, remember I called it earlier this year? I’m going to say the classiest article of clothing because I do anything or follow anything Steph Curry does is shorts where writing is on the crotch. That’s revolutionary, that’s owning your sexuality. Remember when there used to be on your butt? Yes. Look at that. Maybe an H.R. violation. But you know what? It’s classy as fuck.


Jason Concepcion: I mean.


Elijah Cone: It is an audio medium. Jason is wearing those exact kind of shorts right now.


Caroline Reston: So shorts with writing on the crotch.


Jason Concepcion: Shorts with writing on the crotch. What did Steph’s writing say?


Caroline Reston: Oakland.


Jason Concepcion: Interesting.


Caroline Reston: Oak Town one of them.


Jason Concepcion: Interesting.


Caroline Reston: He purposely did Oak Town or Oakland to be like fuck San Francisco in the Chase Center even though I’m from San Francisco and love that city. But, you know.


Jason Concepcion: I love I love a symbolic gesture when the actual substantive gesture is that they don’t play in Oakland anyway. Elijah What is the classiest article of clothing?


Elijah Cone: Jason I struggle with this one because I was trying to think of one that wasn’t exclusive to men. And what I’ve landed on here is gloves. Anyone can wear gloves. And you talking about a classy glove, a white glove for man and elbow, high glove for a woman. If you see someone wearing gloves at an event, you know that’s class.


Ryan Wallerson: That’s a great answer.


Caroline Reston: Wow, that’s a good answer.


Jason Concepcion: It’s a great answer.


Elijah Cone: Thank you.


Jason Concepcion: Jamel, what is the classiest article of clothing?


Ryan Wallerson: Shout out to  O.J. with the leather Isotoners.


Jason Concepcion: Ayyy.


Jamel Johnson: I cannot believe that this is still on the board. The top hat, folks.


Jason Concepcion: Oh. Whoa.


Jamel Johnson: Top hat is also unisex. You got a tuxedo on. You put a top hat on , that motherfucker is to the next level. Throw a monocle with it. Wow. It looks like you look like The Great Gatsby. It looks like you’ve been getting money since the twenties. Yeah. Class is getting money since the twenties. Your family used to. Your family’s been. Your family’s smoked meats since 1918. Out of Brooklyn. Put a top hat on and let the people know. Top hat. Bing


Jason Concepcion: I’ve been breaking unions for 100 years.


Jamel Johnson: It’s high class.


Jason Concepcion: High class folks. Okay. Let’s go to the voting. An incredibly varied selection of classy clothing today, but who will be the first voted off the island? The votes are coming in now. As you know, whoever gets the most votes is ejected from the island today. Will it be Ryan who says that big, loud bow tie? Get the print on it. Get a wild print on it. Crazy colors. Match it to your suit. And and nothing says class like a bow tie that is screaming in your eardrums. C.R. says shorts with writing on the crotch. You’ve got a fancy wedding. You’ve got the Grammys. Coming up, John Legend show up with some some himbo shorts with something classy written right across the middle will be classy and just say the middle. Elijah says, how about the gloves? What about gloves? What about driving gloves? What about a lambskin glove? What better merino lamb? Interior glove? What about those white elbow gloves without a spot on them and then light my cigarette with that long ass holder? Jamel says Top hat. The top hat, folks. How magicians are prestidigitating things out of the top hat. The the people who owned the steel mills had the top hat. Andrew Carnegie wearing the top hat. Top hat throughout history. Abraham Lincoln with top hat. Top hat says class. It says money. It says old money, folks. Here come the votes. Right now, we have one vote for Caroline. We have one vote for Ryan. We have another vote for Ryan. We have another road for Caroline. And our final vote and our first eject from the island is for Ryan Wallerson. Ryan, you’ve been ejected from the island. What do you have to say?


Ryan Wallerson: You know, man, I feel like we we work together to dress someone, really well. A loud bow tie, some gloves, a top hat and then a crotch. Any party like that and feel really good about it. So I’m I’m I’m I’m proud to have contributed. I  bow out gracefully. Ernie Johnson out.


Jason Concepcion: It is a vibe. The articles of clothing all put together. Absolutely. That is an energy to go forward with in the world. Next question. Drake, as you know, has released his latest album. It’s always a part of our summer. You know, you head into summer and you think, when is Drake going to drop the album? That is going to define the sound of all the parties I go to this summer. Well, he’s done it with Honestly, Nevermind, which dropped last Friday. It has been, I think we could say that it’s been a divisive time to see what people think of that album. Some people love it. Some people don’t like it as much. It definitely has that kind of like nineties club banger vibe to it. But and of course, Beyonce dropped a new single Break My Soul. So. With that in mind, what is the worst artist or album or song that you love? Everyone in the world hates this artist, hates this album, hates this song. But you know what? You love it secretly. Publicly you love it. Let’s start with Jamel. Jamel, what’s the worst artist or album that you love?


Jamel Johnson: Um, well, first, let me say Drake’s album is the reason why old people shouldn’t be on Tik Tok.


Jamel Johnson: But moving forward.


Jamel Johnson: I’m going to keep it in theme. This is an artist that I love, but nobody likes this album. Electric Circus by Common. Common Mr. Rapity Rap.  The guy could rap about computer chips and all type of stuff.


Jason Concepcion: He does.


Jamel Johnson: We love it and he’s great. But that album clearly made when he was still dating Erykah Badu and then they broke up and he had to put the shit out anyway. Terrible album, but it’s got one good song Come Close with Mary J. Blige. It’s worth all of that other trash on there. The video is so cute. He’s he’s dating a deaf woman and he makes her a bunch of signs. It makes me cry every time I watch.


Jason Concepcion: For those of you not familiar, this takes us back to 2002. This is the follow up to his Like Water for Chocolate album. That’s for our younger listeners who might know Common as only the guy who talks about A.I..


Caroline Reston: Thank you for letting us know.


Ryan Wallerson: Through A.I. My favorite is with three. Oh, my. Yeah, that’s amazing.


Jason Concepcion: Elijah, what’s the worst artist or album or song that you love?


Elijah Cone: Uh, Jason has a question before I give this answer?


Jason Concepcion: Sure.


Elijah Cone: How are we being. How are we being graded here? Are we being voted off based on Wow that is really bad or that’s or that is a guilty pleasure for me to realize.


Caroline Reston: Elijah, what kind of question is that? That that’s absolutely subjective.


Elijah Cone: I mean, I have an answer that everyone will definitely hate like I’ll be like, that is bad. And then I have another one that everyone’s like, I don’t really like this too.


Jason Concepcion: I’m hearing what I’m hearing from you, Elijah, is fact and a fear and a need to be accepted. And I think just bear yourself, be vulnerable in this moment and let us see your bad taste. It’s freeing. That’s it. But, like, make your own decisions. Obviously.


Elijah Cone: I’ll call it our bad taste then, because we’ve talked about this before. I love the band Phish with a PH and it turns me into a kind of pretentious person. I’ll tell people, You just got to listen to this, you know, 18 minute jam around the nine minute mark. They get very spacey and exploratory in a way that really opens you up, relaxes you between west you to new heights. I’ll tell people that it’s not really rock. It’s more akin to jazz. I will turn into a completely different kind of animal around this band, some people as opposed to me. But I love and have seen a bunch of Liv shows and that is my artist that I listen to, despite people not enjoying them.


Jason Concepcion: Elijah, what is the what is? You’ve met somebody who doesn’t know of Phish. What is the one track you play for them to maybe get them to like them?


Caroline Reston: And what drug do they have to be on.


Jamel Johnson: Mm.


Jason Concepcion: Well that’s a different, that’s a different story. That’s a next level, that’s the next level of the indoctrination. But what’s the first one, that little appetizer that you give? And before you go to the drug level.


Elijah Cone: I would say Tube from Madison Square Garden, December 29th, 1997, that particular one.


Jason Concepcion: Let me play this Tube from you from that MSG run. In 97, they were so good. In 97, I think they fell off, you know, around 2000, 203 when Trey went into rehab. But this is when they were really great. Trey was still on the drugs. C.R. What’s the worst artist album or song that you love?


Caroline Reston: Okay, I feel like Now That’s What I Call Music gets a really bad rap, but it was really how I was younger to know what it was. And so if I have to say specifically,Now That’s What I Call Music Ten was my favorite because there were fucking jams on that, but they got like no respect. It was like Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton, Overprotected Britney Spears. Girlfriend by N’Sync, the Nelly verse. And it was such a great album and people just forget about it.


Jamel Johnson: They had Nelly on there. Whoa.


Jason Concepcion: Whoa.


Caroline Reston: Yes. It is so good. It’s banger after banger. Now, That’s What I Call Music Ten is truly a forgotten, but wonderful album.


Jamel Johnson: Oh.


Jason Concepcion: Let’s run down it right now. Already Overprotected by Britney Spears. The Dark Child’s Remix Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue.


Ryan Wallerson: Wow, that’s a video.


Caroline Reston: A great one.


Jason Concepcion: Escape Enrique Iglesias. I’ve Got You Marc Anthony,Girlfriend Neptunes remix, N’Sync Think I’m Going To Be All Right Track Master’s Remix, Jennifer Lopez Featuring Nas Don’t Say Goodbye, Paulina Rubio Move it Like This, the Bja band.


Caroline Reston: The best Baja. Okay.


Jamel Johnson: Wow. Okay.


Caroline Reston: Way better than Who Let The Dogs Out.


Jason Concepcion: More than a woman, Aliyah, Yeah, well, I don’t think that’s fair to say. More Than a Woman by Aaliyah. Uh-Huh B2K, Always On Time Ja Rule featuring John Legen, Ashanti, Sugar High by Jada Anderson, Half Crazy Music Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira. Shakira, A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton, A New Day Has Come Celine Dion, We Are All Made Of Stars by Moby Boo. First Date Blink 182. Stillness of Heart Lenny Kravitz. How You Remind Me. Nickelback. Nickelback closing out the album.


Jamel Johnson: Man. Not a curse word to be found.


Jason Concepcion: Damn.


Jamel Johnson: Just heat.


Jason Concepcion: Not one. Okay, let’s go to the voting. Who is going to be the next person voted off? Take Survivor own. Is it going to be Caroline Reston who says now? Hey, now you’re an all star. And That’s What I Call Music Ten, which contains all the hits that we have just listed off. Will it be Elijah, who says, you know, Harry, where do you go when the lights go out? I’ll tell you where you go. You go to the Phish show. They’re still doing it after all these years. Page, Trey, Mike, Jon Fishman, the glorious four people still dropping major, major hits of acid to that band and traveling around the country smelling like absolute dog shit.


Ryan Wallerson: Amen.


Jason Concepcion: Will it be Jamel who says, Hey, here’s a Common record that came after the famous Common record and you might have forgot about this Common record because now he’s selling A.I. chips to people.


Jamel Johnson: Pentium processors. Yeah, he’s doing Pentium processors. It’s all over.


Jason Concepcion: We’re talking about Chicago legend Common and his his album, Electric Circus, which is written in the throes of love with Erykah Badu, who he then broke up with, or they broke up with each other before the album was released. And it was awkward because a lot of those songs are going to be about how he was in love with neo soul legend Erykah Badu. Votes are coming in now. Can’t wait to see where this one goes. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head is a banger.


Caroline Reston: Oh, my God. I love that dance studio. We had, like, literally seven different dances to that song. And then we went to a competition and everyone else had dances to that song, and we were like, You know what? It’s a great song. Let’s hear it 20 more times.


Jason Concepcion: Also, I miss Ashanti. I want to know where she is right now. And thirdly, A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton. Just hearing the piano intro.


Caroline Reston: And just are you crying?


Jason Concepcion: It’s like a it’s a Pavlovian response when I when I hear that and here we go. Uh, we have one vote for Jamel. We have one vote for Elijah. We have one vote for Caroline. We’ve another vote for Elijah and another vote for Jamel. Folks, we have a tie, a two way tie, Jamel versus Elijah, which means we go to a run off. Are you ready?


Jamel Johnson: I think so.


Jason Concepcion: Folks, What is your favorite lyric from the artist you mentioned and why is it a great lyric to introduce people to this artist in this period of time? I’ll give you a second to think about it before I ask specifically him, Elijah. Your favorite Phish lyric.


Caroline Reston: Isn’t it just like sounds?


Elijah Cone: Oh, man.


Jason Concepcion: That’s sounds, but it’s definitely like, shit. That is complete non-sequitur.


Elijah Cone: Yeah, it’s definitely a great game to be played. That’s like Raffi lyrics or Phish lyrics you know, the tires of it.


Jason Concepcion: And let me say that. I did when I was in music school particularly, I went through a Phish phase because it was just cool to see musicianship in rock music. And also I was going through a heavy, heavy drug phase. I was taking a lot of acid at that time. Once a weekend was taken, I was dropping acid for about a year until I started stuttering and then I stopped and I haven’t really done it since, but during that time I commanded, I love going to see a Phish show. And did the lyrics not matter to me at all? They did not. Ready Elijah, what’s your what’s your favorite Phish lyric and why is it great?


Elijah Cone: Keep it simple. You reference. Have you had earlier? I’ma say You Can Feel Good now. Official comment. You Can Feel Good.


Jason Concepcion: You Can Feel Good. This is from the Harry Hood song. You Can Feel Good, good, good about Hood. This is legitimately the slogan for Hood Milk, a dairy farm based in Vermont, one of the first examples of corporate corporate branding a rap music. Jamel, your favorite lyric from the Electric Circus album by Common.


Jamel Johnson: O from Electric Circus. Oh.


Jason Concepcion: Oh, that could just be Common. It could just be Common.


Jamel Johnson: Well, I was just saying in comment because he said I used to love her, but now I bone her.


Jason Concepcion: That’s a good one.


Jamel Johnson: Yeah, that. But that’s not. Yeah, he just. He said that way later. He is referring to having sex with rap music.


Jason Concepcion: Folks. Let’s go to the voting. Here’s a runoff. Zuri, you’re picking. You’re picking between Common’s classic lyric. I used to love her, but now I bone her. Or Elijah from the end of Harry Hood. You Can Feel Good. Good, good. About Hood. Hood, again, is a brand of of milk from from Vermont. Votes are coming in now. Here comes the. Here comes the vice president. They’re walking down the aisle. They are walking to the lecturn, switching on the mic, looking around the room, making sure everyone in the Senate chamber is assembled and ready for their judgment. And now the judgment of the vice president is.


Zuri Irvin: Okay, I really don’t want to pick a winner here. I don’t like either of these. But Elijah’s I just this sounds like a statement. It just sounds like an opening sentence to, like, a boring essay. So I’m going to go with Jamel to advance and we’re going to we’re going to eliminate Elijah here. Elijah, I love you, man, but I don’t like that lyrics. So, Jamal, you’re like.


Jamel Johnson: Wow, man.


Jason Concepcion: Phish lyrics. It’s tough. He was working from a disadvantage early on. And we move on, folks. We move on to our final round and how exciting it is to get to the finals of this edition, the first edition of summer 2022 to Take Survivor, Disney and Pixar’s Light Year telling the story of of of Buzz Lightyear, the prequel story of Buzz Lightyear and how he became the astronaut we all know and Love has opened in theaters. Which brings us to the following question for the final of Take Survivor. What is the greatest toy? The greatest toy. Of all time. Legos. We’re talking Legos. We’re talking G.I. Joe. We’re talking Barbie. We’re talking the little that little oven where you put the fake cakes inside and it cooked it with a light bulb. Would I forget what that one was called? What is the greatest toy of all time? Carolyn, we will start with you. What’s the greates toy of all time?


Caroline Reston: So I’m going to say it’s the Bop It because I kind of feel like that the Bop It, it is the source of all of America’s anxiety. Like, I think my anxiety stems from the mindset because it was like you’re twisting it, you’re pulling it, you’re bopping it, and it was just like the most stressful game. But it kind of helped me, like, deal with my anxiety later in life. This is a really serious answer, but I really love the Bop It and I think we should bring it back.


Jason Concepcion: Explain to the people how the Bop It works.


Caroline Reston: So was this like contraption that would just yell at you to Bop it. Pull it. Tap it or I don’t know, and you had to do it really quick and they would switch up the order and it was so stressful and you really had to be on your toes. And that’s why I think I’m really good at public speaking now.


Jason Concepcion: Right. I would describe it as like it’s like Simon says, if you played Simon says with a futuristic dildo.


Jamel Johnson: Yeah, it’s got a little Hitachi element to it for sure.


Jason Concepcion: Yeah. You know, and I mean, I love that answer. Jamel, let’s go to you. What’s the greatest toy of all time?


Jamel Johnson: Greatest of all time is the spinning top. Jason. Oh, top hat, mode. I’m remaining top hat and I will stay in top hat mode. This, this dumb ass toy is just spinning around and you just look at it, you can’t do much with it, but it has withstood the test of time. Oh, you thought tops were dead. You ever heard of Bey Blade? You got any nieces and nephews? That’s a fucking top, my boy. Oh, what’s this fidget spinner? This is top stupid. It’s just a thing. It’s just some shit you put on a string and it would just spin like the Tasmanian devil.


Jason Concepcion: Like a dreidel.


Caroline Reston: Were you okay as a child?


Jamel Johnson: Probably not. I don’t think. I mean, that’s a tough question to ask me in the middle of a pretend game show, but yeah, probably not.


Jason Concepcion: Yes. Let’s go. Let’s go to the voting. Some incredible answers here. And to remind everyone how this works here in the final round, we are voting for the winner. We’re voting for the winner of the Take Survivor in the question, what’s the greatest toy of all time? Of course, this is inspired by Disney Pixar’s Light Year opening in theaters. Shouts to Tim Allen, one of the greatest snitches of all time. Don’t forget, he got arrested for cocaine trafficking and snitched out his entire crew. And that’s why he’s able to be out here with us voicing Buzz Lightyear in various Toy Story shows. Okay. Who is the winner of Take Survivor? Will it be C.R. who says, Bop It, win it, vote for me. I am the winner with the answer of the Bop It the Bop It again. Basically, Simon says, for a new fangled generation, or will it be champ who says, let’s take it back to to ancient Roman times, the biblical times, let’s take it back to a toy. But they found a prehistoric sites all around the world. I’m talking about the top. Take something, spin it and watch it. Stay up. You watch the the end of Inception. You are all right of the Jewish culture. You’ve used Tops, everybody’s use Tops, fidget spinners, etc. All that stuff is a top. It’s got staying power will be playing with it for thousands of years. Votes are coming in now. We’ve got one vote for Jamel. And we’ve got four votes for our winner, Caroline C.R. Reston. You have won Take Survivor. Caroline What do you have to say about that?


Caroline Reston: Yeah. Oh, my God. I’m so happy to have this moment, because last time it was robbed from me. Thank you so much to everyone who voted. I see all of you and I can’t get you out of my head. But la la la la la la la la la. Bye. Thank you.


Jason Concepcion: And that is it for a summer 2022 edition of Take Survivor. See you next time. That’s it for us. Follow and subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Don’t forget to subscribe to Takeline show on YouTube for exclusive video clips from this episode. Plus the finale. The season finale of my digital series All Caps NBA this Friday. Check it out by. Takeline is a Crooked Media production. The show is produced by Ryan Wallerson and Zuri Irvin. Our executive producers are myself and Sandy Girard Engineering, Editing and sound design by the great Sarah Dubalaska and the folks at Chapter Four. And our theme music is produced by Brian Vasquez. Mia Kelman is on the Zoom for vibes, and the vibes are fantastic all the time.


Zayd Ayers Dohrn: In the 1970s, A young group of violent revolutionaries joined forces to create the Weather Underground organization. A group of radicals who brawled with police officers and bombed the Pentagon, all in the name of ending racism. Hi, I’m Zayd  Ayers Dohrn, host of Crooked Media’s new podcast Mother Country Radicals, which dives into the true story of how my parents and their friends went from peace loving activists to toppling the FBI’s most wanted list. New episodes of Mother Country Radicals are out every Thursday. Listen and subscribe wherever you get podcasts.