Halle and Alison creep and leap and glide and slide for 1988’s The Blob.

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TRANSCRIPT

 

[theme music]: If scary movies give you dread. Keep you up late night in bed, here’s a podcast that will help you ease your mind. We’ll explain the plot real nicely then we’ll talk about what’s frightening, so you never have to have a spooky time. It’s Ruined.

 

Halle Kiefer: Oh, hello. Welcome to Ruined. I’m Halle. 

 

Alison Leiby: And I’m Alison. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We’re just two gals in the void, and we’re here to ruin a horror movie just for you. 

 

Alison Leiby: Gals in the void. And also, well, before we even say how we’re doing. Like, I think we both want to acknowledge, we’re again. We’re in the past for you, but the future for us, we don’t know what’s happening in the actual world right now. But I know when we’re recording the crisis in Israel and Palestine is becoming increasingly worse and worse with like a higher number of innocent civilians being killed on both sides every day. And it’s a barrage. And anti-Semitism is running extremely high, as are anti-Muslim sentiments here in America and I’m sure in other places as well. And we don’t have a ton of answers or anything, but we do have a lot of thoughts and sympathy for everybody experiencing both physical and also the emotional violence that comes with a conflict that is this complicated and rooted in so much very unfortunate hate in America. So.

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. And yeah, I just felt like, you know, another tough year, another tough week for the Globe. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So to not address it seemed unacceptable. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I would say I feel like again, we’re part of Crooked Media. And I would say if you’re someone who is up for listen to even more podcasts. I think that Tommy Vietor and Ben Rhodes over at Pod Save the World have been doing a really great job. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: They did an episode called America’s Warning to Israel that I think covers a lot of different important factors in this. And I think for me personally, it is engaging in a way that I think being a white you know cis American who, like I feel like I sort of the last bastion of things I don’t know anything about is America’s role on the planet, you know? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And I think that’s what a lot of people are sort of being confronted with is like, oh, so what’s been going on this whole time? What the hell? You know? And I think they’ve been doing a really excellent job interviewing people. You know, they interviewed a person in Israel who had family members abducted. They interviewed someone who’s in Gaza. And I think, you know, this is an international crisis, that it did turn away from it. I mean, like how, you know, at this point. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And and also like all the aid workers trying to get into Gaza, like these are all different countries that are being pulled into this. And, you know, and I think to me, it’s important to really, as an American, examine America’s role in this and and over the globe. And I think that, you know, I there’s a certain point where it’s like, oh, I feel shame that I didn’t know. But also, like, that’s kind of being an American. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And I think this is an opportunity, not in a positive way, but it’s like this kind of thing and challenges our idea of ourselves and our role in in every part of the world and asks us to ask like, what could be done in our name? And I think they did a really excellent job of like talking about all the different factors and then, you know, just sort of like, do do that like New Jersey’s Bob Menendez, the senator who’s like under indictment for being a foreign spy, is still on like the his committees, even though he’s been taking. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Money from Egypt, which is a country that’s next to all this. And it’s like, well, that doesn’t seem good either. So. 

 

Alison Leiby: No, it does not. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. So I don’t know, like, again, a place to start and I think a consistently good podcast that I’ve really been getting a lot from again is somebody who unfortunately, due to my privilege or all of our privilege, kind of just I was like, well, I don’t know enough about it. So. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know, and I think now it’s like, well, we all have to know about it. We have to know about everything that we’re involved in. And yeah, we just wanted to talk about it and then, boy, you know, I don’t know, it’s all tied to like and then also they elected Mike Johnson to be Speaker of the House and—

 

Alison Leiby: Can’t wait to produce a whole bunch of capitalism workers for America. As a woman. That’s my job. I know we all saw that clip—

 

Halle Kiefer: And they better not—

 

Alison Leiby: —and it’s fucking terrifying. 

 

Halle Kiefer: They better not be gay or trans. [both speaking] Listen you want us to make more people some of them are going to be gay and trans. I don’t want to tell you about it. 

 

Alison Leiby: And they better not need health care or anything. [laughter] 

 

Halle Kiefer: Right. And that’s I don’t know. And I and there’s also like there’s horrible shooting this week. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And there you know, I think for me, I try to think about like it it is easy to be nihilistic and it is easy to turn away from this. Not easy. It’s horrible, but it’s like it’s easy to be like, this is inevitable. These things are inevitable. We can’t stop them rather than what are the ways that all of us could offer any sort of, you know, sorry I’m gonna cry, but like door to open, you know what I mean? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know, I think it’s just, you know what, what a white woman’s tears mean. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But you know what I mean. 

 

Alison Leiby: Fixing everything. But.

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: But I think engaging with things that are happening and doing any small amount that feels good for you is the important thing to do. To continue to be able to face all of these horrors without completely giving up. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. And we just wanted to address that. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. And again we have no idea what’s happening in real time when this comes out [both speaking] so like God like. So apologies for the vagueness. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: But also that is that’s that’s how the podcast sausage gets made. [laughs]

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s where we are in time. And and, and I can only hope that that something is better when you’re listening to this now. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: But Halle, aside from a million global and domestic crises. How are you? [laughs]

 

Halle Kiefer: Aside from that. 

 

Alison Leiby: What’s new? Maybe not, how are you? But what’s new? 

 

Halle Kiefer: I’m going to. It’s Halloween tomorrow. I’m sorry. It was Halloween weekend leading up to— 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And I was going to be Grammys 2023 Madonna, because my friend and I are doing Night of a Thousand Madonna’s. I have no bandwidth for that. I cannot. The wig is too much work. I can’t I can’t bleach my eyebrows. 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s a lot. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know, it’s going to I would just go blind. I would I wouldn’t be able to do it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah, you’d bleach your eyeballs. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. So I’m pivoting to Don’t Tell Me Madonna, which is just a Western shirt, a cowboy hat, jeans. And I can do that. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. I think that’s, you know, bite off as much as you can chew. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: From a Madonna standpoint. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. So other than that, I feel like this until the end of the year. I mean, the SAG strike is going still going on. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So things aren’t really popping off here. But even if even if the strikes were over this time of year in L.A.. 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s all shut down. November 1st is the end of the year. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Forget about it. And so I think I’m trying to ready myself for the doldrums. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know what I mean? And it’s like we can’t. Not all. We’re all reading the news all the time. It’s an inescapable. But how to psychologically ready myself and just not become a working machine, which is my tendency to do that. Other than that, oh, I got I got a c-nty little light up Christmas tree. 

 

Alison Leiby: Ooh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And I want to do a full gay Christmas—

 

Alison Leiby: I think you should very much do a gay Christmas. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Fantasia, and I’ll post a photo of it. I’m going to get a pink tinsel tree. I guess it’s sort of just a place. I think creativity exists in all areas. 

 

Alison Leiby: Agreed. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And, you know, anything to take the edge off. So I’m going to let you do this. I got a smaller one and then I’m gonna do a full, full a pink pink fantasy Christmas. 

 

Alison Leiby: I love that. That’s so fun. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. How are you doing? 

 

Alison Leiby: Good. Fine. Alive. Surviving, not thriving. I would I last night I went to a night time like a 9:30 screening in Park Slope of Taylor Swift’s Era’s Tour movie. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Oh how was it? 

 

Alison Leiby: And I had the most fun like I had. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay. 

 

Alison Leiby: I am not someone who’s like the huge like, I’m not like a mega Taylor fan. But I also—

 

Halle Kiefer: I was gonna say, I feel like, you haven’t talked about Taylor. I didn’t know your connection to Taylor. 

 

Alison Leiby: Like, I think I am like, agnostic on her where I’m like, there’s a lot of songs that she’s made that I’m like, I enjoy this and there’s a lot that she’s made where I was like, I didn’t participate in this, and that’s okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: But my friend Chris, a friend of ours, she and I got very stoned and went to Nitehawk and it was— 

 

Halle Kiefer: How, Nitehawk, the best.

 

Alison Leiby: Went to Nitehawk so we could, like, eat and drink. And it was like, you know, it’s like a two and a half hour concert that starts at 10 p.m. in Park Slope. It was just like other stoned 35 year old’s. 

 

Halle Kiefer: That sounds good. 

 

Alison Leiby: And forty year old’s, and it was like half full. Also, I walked and this girl was like, Oh my God, I’m obsessed with you. Like a girl who, like, saw my show at Cherry Lane and stuff. And I was like, well, you’re going to watch me get really stoned and sing. 

 

Halle Kiefer: That’s sounds great. 

 

Alison Leiby: Taylor songs. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I’m sure she loved it. 

 

Alison Leiby: And we just like, we all have. It was like the perfect vibe of like, I’ve seen footage of, like screenings that have broken out in, like, full, like screaming, dancing. Everyone’s up. And I’m like, I don’t know if I want that. That’s like the point of not going to a concert, but I was like, but I also don’t want it to be. I figured out that this is my dream movie viewing experience because you can talk at full volume and be on your phone the whole time. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay I hadn’t thought about that part, that’s fun.

 

Alison Leiby: Like it’s just it’s not like no one’s like, follow it. Like everybody’s just like, kind of talking the whole time. Being like, Oh, wow, this is beautiful. Like, just like, loudly saying that [laughs] which is just like a really fun like I felt like I was in somebody’s living room with a bunch of strangers. And we were all becoming friends watching. It was I really enjoyed myself. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I’m so glad. 

 

Alison Leiby: There’s a million issues with Taylor Swift that I have no interest in getting into, like her obsession with flying around in a private jet that is both. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: Disgusting, but also slightly understandable because, like, you watch this woman walk into a restaurant and it shuts down six avenues—

 

Halle Kiefer: She’d be torn limb from limb. She’d be she’ll be obliterated. 

 

Alison Leiby: She can’t fly on a commercial flight with us. Have you seen how people fly like but. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Oh we’re animals to begin with. 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s disgusting to have that big of a carbon footprint. So. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, my my interaction with this is that I guess in her liner notes, because she’s releasing like another one of her albums. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Like Taylor’s version. And I will say my connection to Taylor is I like the album Red, and I think they like some of them for 1989. And then after that, I don’t know the other ones. You know what I mean like the ones from the pandemic.

 

Alison Leiby: I’m a big like Folklore and Evermore. I’m like, yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay. 

 

Alison Leiby: This is music I can put on on the background and it is very lovely to have on. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay good. Yeah I because of my again self-diagnosed ADHD I apologize to bring it up I really only listened to what I would describe as disgusting gay club music. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes great. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Like the worst EDM possible. I needed to write. So it’s kind of all I listen to. But I certainly enjoy a Taylor Swift song. But apparently in her liner notes, she said she wrote I swore off dating and decided to focus on only myself, my music, my growth, my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn’t sensationalize or sexualize that, right. I would later learn on that people could and people would. Which, of course, has said to the Gaylor community, people who believe that she is secretly queer into a tizzy. And I just want to say, if you’re a member of that community, I’m sorry. It’s she’s straight. I don’t know what to tell you. And that’s not to say that she couldn’t have had a romance with the woman. But I think some people of all genders maybe say, I’m going to. I’m going to try this out, see how it fits. Wasn’t for me. And I think if anything, she is double down on being straight. And again, nothing wrong with that. But I think maybe—

 

Alison Leiby: It’s also, not our business. 

 

Halle Kiefer: It’s none of our business. Though, to be fair, she has made it our business. 

 

Alison Leiby: True. 

 

Halle Kiefer: By leaving different clues in her songs and artwork. So obviously she wanted to sort of but you know what I mean. She’s an artist, she can do whatever she wants. It’s her art. I like the idea of putting yourself in your art and whatever it looks like. But I do think we’ve got to move on. And there are a lot of actually queer women and non-binary people who are out here making music. 

 

Alison Leiby: Incredible music. 

 

Halle Kiefer: That I think, you know, perhaps they could use a little bit of. You’re listening and you get to listen to Taylor Swift even though she’s straight. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We can all still enjoy her music. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes, we could still do that. [laughs]

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. 

 

Alison Leiby: But anyway, seeing it in theaters was really, really fun. And I can’t wait for Beyoncé to release Renaissance because I will go see that. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I really wanna see that. 

 

Alison Leiby: That is how I both want to see movies and concerts. [laughs] 

 

Halle Kiefer: I agree because concerts, I have a hard time. Well, first of all, you know, I want to sit, you know, I want to sit bitch.

 

Alison Leiby: I want to, and I can’t and I can’t do like an hour load in in an hour load out. 

 

Halle Kiefer: No to go, to the bathroom you have to—

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: —climb past a thousand people. I’m not doing that. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: With that in mind. 

 

Alison Leiby: Anyway. That’s how we’re doing. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know what would. Damn it, I was trying to segue. Speaking of a thousand people screaming and climbing all over each other. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We, of course, have a brand new movie this week. We don’t repeat them. I don’t know why we would we would even bring that up. [laughs] But this one’s theme for our horror movies is of course, they ate. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meaning, of course, being consumed and someone who eats. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And this week, I think it is both an entity that eats and an entity that ate. 

 

Alison Leiby: Eats. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And that entity is, of course, the Blob. And we are doing. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: 1988’s, The Blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Is there an older version? 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. 

 

Alison Leiby: I was like, I thought this movie was like, very old. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. 

 

Alison Leiby: But then I watched. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Mm hmm. 

 

Alison Leiby: The correct trailer and I was like, wait, I thought this was like, this is from 88, but. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Absolutely the. 

 

Alison Leiby: 88. Mm hmm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Shit. Well, they definitely obviously made this. 

 

Alison Leiby: 88? [laughter] I don’t know.

 

Halle Kiefer: When they remake The Blob. I guess it’s been it’s been 30 years since then, they should have made the third. They should have made another one on. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Already. But yes. So the original Blob came out in 1958. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: This is the remake that came out in 1988. So sort of the 30th anniversary version. 

 

Alison Leiby: The Blob’s version. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Blob’s version. All the royalties go to The Blob. And interestingly, it was directed by Chuck Russell, who was born in 1958. So it’s sort of like. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Oh, great, directing at 30. Good for you. 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s like you did it, man. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But he also, Chuck Russell also directed Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, which we have not done. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: He did The Mask, which I loved. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Is a, in the nineties and a bunch of other movies, The Scorpion King. But I feel like those are his sort of, you know, the films that he is known for and that we absolutely love and enjoy. And I hadn’t seen this Blob before. I hadn’t seen. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Either Blob and loved it. And it’s really interesting because it came out two years before Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks and it is very Twin Peaks. And at first I was like. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, interesting. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I wonder if David Lynch’s ever talked about drawing from it. But I think it’s really more of like this movie remembering the I feel like in the eighties, they were it was referencing the fifties a lot. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And in the nineties we were kind of referencing the sixties and also seventies, like we’re referencing like the generation before. So in the eighties we were referencing the fifties. 

 

Alison Leiby: The fifties. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because I was the that’s when these filmmakers and whatever people doing fashion like they would have been born in the fifties. So it’s like. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Their interpretation of it. So all these elements like there’s like a greaser with a bike, I’m like, oh, it’s Twin Peaks is like, no, they’re both referencing. 

 

Alison Leiby: The fifties from the eighties. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. So it’s like and like the idea of like one, the fifties was like a rebel. It was like a guy in a leather jacket and a motorcycle and you’re in a small town and a a cheerleader and a football player. It’s like, oh, it’s the it’s the Americana. Like we’re referencing the same themes. So, you know, I fucking love that shit. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because of course, they’re going to be affected when the blob shows up. 

 

Alison Leiby: I mean, everything will be. But I’m excited. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And we always like to have Alison watch the trailer. Alison. What did you think about the trailer for The Blob? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yucky. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. Yeah. It’s pretty yucky. Like seeing the like what the, you know, blob nests in that guy’s fingers when he’s, like, standing over the sink, like, oh, what’s this? And you’re like, oh, no, it doesn’t look like you should touch it. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Would you like to touch the Blob Alison?

 

Alison Leiby: If I knew nothing would. If I knew there were no consequences. Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: What if you were 99% sure nothing would happen? 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay, fair enough. 

 

Alison Leiby: But I touched a stingray. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And why would you do that? 

 

Alison Leiby: I was at an aquarium by myself. You were, they were invited you too. It wasn’t like I— [laughter]

 

Halle Kiefer: Was it, like, unattended. 

 

Alison Leiby: No, it was like a thing where you could touch stingrays at the aquarium there. They feel incredible. Everybody should go to touch a stingray if they can. 

 

Halle Kiefer: What did it feel like? 

 

Alison Leiby: Like underwater velvet. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Oh, my God. That sounds like heaven. It also sounds like an album title. 

 

Alison Leiby: It does? Yeah. Underwater velvet. It’s an acoustic set, but there’s a real. Like, you think it’s going to be slimy, but it’s actually just, like, soft. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I that sounds great. I think it’s like somebody I can’t remember who. A very funny webcomic. Fuck. I remember he did one about how people think that the sharks are going to be smooth. No, he made a reference. He said that a shark would be smooth and then all the comments were like sharks are actually very rough. But it’s like we’re learning. Even though we’re arguing. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah, and that’s important. 

 

Halle Kiefer: The name of the comic is Swan Boy by Branson Reese, and there’s a seminal like he be wanting to touch a shark. And I have the same impulse. I’d like to touch a dolphin. I think dolphins are soft. But also, would they want to be touched? Probably not. 

 

Alison Leiby: And they’re like squeaky. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And they would they do want to have sex with you? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, keeping that in mind, Alison [laughter] we always like to take a baseline scary. [laughter] Alison, how scary do you find the concept of the blob, specifically the blob showing up in your hometown and you personally have to deal with it, Alison. 

 

Alison Leiby: That I would really not like. I don’t want to really have to get my hands dirty with like the blob is a thing where I’m like, you hear about it. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: But to have to really engage with the blob, it seems sticky. There are way more explosions in the trailer than I was prepared for. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So many explosions. Yeah.

 

Alison Leiby: So I feel like that just would get really, like, exhausting over time. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You hate explosions. 

 

Alison Leiby: I hate explosions, that’s something everybody says about me. Yeah, I don’t want to do it. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I completely. That makes sense. I, I realized recently I hate having my face or hands wet or having anything on them. So there’s I’ll rarely wash my face at night, which I know I shouldn’t. I know that’s bad for your skin, but I cannot stand having a part of my body wet while like a shower is fine. And I just think the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah, just my face. That’s tough. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And I think touching that I would need I would I have to carry around a bunch of napkins. Like I would just be constantly wiping my hands off to be near the blob you know what I mean? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. It just yeah, you would need a lot of napkins. You would need a lot of just like, like wipes and stuff like that. It’s just who wants to deal with that. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And who wants to deal with that. And before we start, would you like to guess the twist in The Blob? Alison? 

 

[voice over]: Guess the twist. 

 

Alison Leiby: Would you say there is a—

 

Halle Kiefer: I would and I would say that it regards the origin of the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, okay. Because I was going to then guess like one of the people we’ve been following is just the blob in human form. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay, I like that. But I’ll just give you a little direction. [both speaking] From when did it come? Who made it? Why?

 

Alison Leiby: Oh so that blob has been made? 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, it’s the blob made itself, but something began the blob. And what began it I suppose? 

 

Alison Leiby: I’m going to guess that it was doctors trying to find a cure for something. But in fact, they created like a the blob, which evolved into a destructive being. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Right. And that’s a problem with the you know, whenever you try to do something, it does it does eventually evolve into the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Gets out of ya. Out of hand.

 

Halle Kiefer: It seems like that’s kind of what we do. Yeah. Things get out of hand. Wait what was the movie, oh, Ravenous. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, yeah. [laughter]

 

Halle Kiefer: And then things got out of hand. And let me tell you, things really get out of hand in The Blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Pretty quickly. So let us begin ruining 1988’s, The Blob. We sort of descend through the clouds because we are, of course, coming from space. We are zooming through the clouds down over a sleepy little town of Arbeville, California. There’s a town sort of amongst the mountains. And again, that’s what strikes me very Twin peaks, like it’s remote, but it’s gorgeous. And we find out that they this is a ski town. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Which basically means when ski season starts, everyone’s making their money, like all the economy revolves around the local resort, like tourist. It’s tourist town. But for skiing. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So this is sort of like I think we’re suppose to think it’s October, so it’s like the end of the summer. Yes. But we’re leading into and everyone’s kind of in lean times. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So like the diners, like we really need tourists to start showing up. So that sort of is the vibe of it, but other than that, small town, you know, wholesome, white, as the day is long and they’re about to learn what the true meaning of the blob is. And we have like a main street, which we’re constantly on with the diner and the police station. 

 

Alison Leiby: Cute, cute. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Is down the down the road and there’s like amazing shots of like religious statues because there’s also a religious element to the blob, which we will get into. And we zoom over the cemetery. And right next to, of course, is the high school football field. 

 

Alison Leiby: Well obviously you put those two things next to each other in city planning. [laughs] 

 

Halle Kiefer: You got to. I mean, and then you could just drive right over and get right in your grave. That’s how I think about it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Agreed. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You graduate high school, you get right in. 

 

Alison Leiby: And you get in a grave. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so we have a local team facing off against team from another town, and we meet one of our protagonist, Paul Taylor, and he is the quarterback, I guess, and he makes a touchdown and he makes eyes with like one of the cheerleaders, Meg Penny, and they kind of like, you know—

 

Alison Leiby: Very 1988 name. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. Oh, yeah, yeah. Every name in this is perfect. And he sits down and one of the other players, Scott, is like, Look at her, she wants your body man, just ask her out. [laughter] And Paul says, I don’t know, like, isn’t she dating Pulver? And the other guy goes, Oh, that’s not going anywhere. Just ask her out. It’s like going anywhere. You’re like 17. What are you talking about? 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You just go to the movies, give each other hand jobs. 

 

Alison Leiby: There’s no like dating. [both speaking] Yeah.

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Grow up. Eddie says, no. I’ll ask her out with the timing’s right. Timing is everything. Paul goes back into the game. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he catches, like, this insane pass. But then he gets tackled and he slams into, like, the table with a Gatorade on it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so everything falls on top of him. And Meg rushes over with the other cheerleaders and Paul looks up dazed. He says, Meg, have any plans this evening? And then he passes out unconscious. 

 

Alison Leiby: And it’s like, are you concussed? [laughs]

 

Halle Kiefer: And the answer is yes. But Meg is flattered and absolutely on board to go out. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. Great. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, we meet our rebel. These are our bad boys. His name is Brian Flagg with two G’s. 

 

Alison Leiby: Ooh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And they’ll do it. And it is played by Kevin Dillon. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And because at first I thought Paul was Kevin Dillon, I’m like Kevin Dillon looks really different. It’s like, then you see Kevin Dillon it’s, like, No, no, no. I know that guy. 

 

Alison Leiby: Got him.

 

Halle Kiefer: I know that face. And he, of course, is a rebel. We know that because he is drinking a beer and smoking near a broken down bridge near a ravine. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s where bad boys love to hang out. Ravines. And—

 

Halle Kiefer: You got to, he’s alone. He’s alone. He’s a lone wolf, Dottie. He you know, he has a motorcycle jacket on. And we see him sort of put down his beer. Alison, he’s totally alone out here, and he’s going to jump the bridge. So he’s going to he’s revving up and he’s going to jump off and go over the ravine. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, great. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And right as he’s about to do it. We see a man in army green, carrying a garbage bag sort of duck into the undergrowth. 

 

Alison Leiby: Uh oh. I can sense what might be in that garbage bag.

 

Halle Kiefer: Not yet. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But I will say—

 

Alison Leiby: Also like carting the blob around in a garbage bag. [laughs]

 

Halle Kiefer: I mean, how else do you carry it? You can’t put it in a box it would seep through. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So, Brian guns that but as he approaches the ravine, he panics and he tries to put the brakes on. The brakes are out. So he flies off the bridge and luckily the ravine is pretty shallow. So he immediately falls out of the side of the ravine and kind of tumbles. So it’s not like a straight drop. Like he he falls in such a way that he is okay. And he looks up to see the man in Army grad who is credited Can Man. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And that is because he is a [?] describes him as a vagabond, which I’m like. You never hear that word. 

 

Alison Leiby: No you really don’t. 

 

Halle Kiefer: This is on Wikipedia. I’m like, who described him as a vagabond? But he cheers for Brian, and then he takes Brian’s beer cans and he takes it to go recycle it. So luckily, Can Man does not have the blob in his bag. He simply has a bunch of cans. We will see him later, presumably being eaten by the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, great. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Also, at no point do they call it the blob. And I think that’s actually an excellent choice. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh. Interesting, okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because they don’t know to call it the blob. We know it’s the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We see it. We say, well, that’s the blob, but they’re in it. Everyone has like sort of a different understanding of like what we’re talking about. And it takes a little while because before you see the blob, you’re like, what do you what are we talking about? What are we trying to describe? And then you see the blob. It’s like, okay, well, now I get it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, the local diner, we see Sheriff Herb Geller, and he’s chatting with the waitress, Fran, and he’s like, Oh, it’s empty in here. And she’s like, Well, once the game is over, all the kids will be here just like a flood. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And she says, you know, it’s been like. I mean, it’s about to be ski season like. And she uses the phrase it’s good to see people up on their hind legs about something. And I love that phrase. I’ve never heard that. 

 

Alison Leiby: Wow that’s great. 

 

Halle Kiefer: It’s so good. So, you know, they’re kind of like waiting for tourist season. Things are, you know, whatever. And Sheriff clears his throat and he starts to ask Fran out and he said, you know, there’s a new band at The Tin Palace tonight. And she says, Herb, are you asking me out? And he says, I guess so. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh boy. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And you can tell she’s interested. But like, it’s like her and the and the short order cook Like she’s like. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I it’s really hard for me to get away. 

 

Alison Leiby: I’m slammed. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. It’s like, that’s okay. I completely understand. It’s hard for everyone to make a living. Don’t don’t worry about it. I just in case you wanted to go. And then all the kids rush in and he goes to pay his check and she’s written on it. I get off at 11 and then with any luck. 

 

Alison Leiby: Me too. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Again at 11:30. Okay. [laughter] So the sheriff is, of course, thrilled and he drives down the street and he sees Brian Flagg. His motorcycle has been wrecked at the ravine. So he got a lift into town. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So his motorcycle is out of commission and he’s the bad boy of town. So then both the sheriff and the sheriff’s deputy that we’ll meet later, like, are just on his case constantly. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he’s like, Oh, I hear it’s your birthday here soon, Brian. You won’t be 18 any more, so you’ll be out of amateur leagues, you’ll be in the pros. So if you get arrested, just so you know, you’ll be going to prison. And it’s like, okay, thank you for telling me. And we also find out later, like, his mother is an alcoholic and his father’s out of the picture. So it’s like, I hope again, we don’t, but like on some level it’s like so you could go harass a 17 year old with, like, a lot of family problems. Like, okay, great. Thank you, officer. You know, so Brian goes to the mechanic’s shop where he works part time, and he asks his boss, whose name is Moss, so that’s easy to remember. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, he’s boss Moss.

 

Halle Kiefer: The mechanic boss Moss, if he can borrow a ratchet set to go back to the ravine to pick to fix his bike. And the ravine is called Elkins Grove. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Moss is like, I have to fix six Ski-Doo’s, three Cats and two flat beds snow makers by Monday. 

 

Alison Leiby: Cats like the—

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Alison Leiby: Construction equipment. Not like also, I’m fixing three cats. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know, we don’t see them—

 

Alison Leiby: So they don’t keep reproducing. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I guess hypothetically, he could do that. Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: It’s a combination mechanic shop and veterinarian office. Yeah. I mean, how different could they possibly be? 

 

Alison Leiby: Seems for, I don’t know. Rizz seems like a little car. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, little car that goes. 

 

Alison Leiby: Little car that goes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so he basically he also we see him, there’s a snowmaker that he’s fixed and he opens it up and he’s got two beer is chilling in in a fictional what is it not fictional, fabricated snow like it’s snow but it’s made inside a truck. I don’t know how they do that. It’s fascinating. So.

 

Alison Leiby: I think it’s just like. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Really cold coolant?

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. Yeah. Something. I don’t know. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Write in, please write in. 

 

Alison Leiby: If you if you make fake snow, please tell us how. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because we’re getting more and more of it as time goes on. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yep. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Watching this, I was like, there ain’t no way the resort would have closed. Like, I’m sorry at this point. 

 

Alison Leiby: At this point. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Climate change, unfortunately. And so he hands the other beer to Brian. And Ryan’s like, Why are you in such a rush? Like, they want these right away. It’s 70 degrees out. And Moss is like, no you know it’s, he calls it Indian summer, but it’s like you know it’s just it’s going to be cold before you know it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Brian’s like I don’t know the last couple of years it only pissed snow and this town is ready to fold and Moss is like no no, I could feel it. There’s going be a ton of snow this year. It’s going to be great there’s gonna be a ton of tourists. Everyone’s like, just willing this into being, you know. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he lets Brian borrow the ratchets, provided he’s willing to do work over the weekend and come in and help. And Brian’s like, Yes, I could do that. I’ll come in. So back out in the woods, we see Can Man and he’s, of course, crushing cans. He’s going to go recycle them. He’s hanging out. Always has, build a fire with his little dog. Alison, he sees a meteorite soar over his head and into the woods. So this is like right at nightfall. 

 

Alison Leiby: I can guess what that has to do with. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, there’s a little special passenger that’s about to of a very large special passenger. 

 

Alison Leiby: Blobby. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, in town, we see Paul and his football friend Scott, who is a real fucking sleazebag. They are at the pharmacy and Scott asks Paul for $5 for his date with his girl, Vicky. And Paul obliges him, and Scott goes to buy a pack of Trojans and some Binaca. I know. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, my God. Binaca? [laughter]

 

Halle Kiefer: And the pharmacist. I know remember Binaca? I was like, brush your teeth mother fucker. The pharmacist, like, steps away to get the condoms. And as soon as he does, we see Reverend Meeker, who’s like the town reverend, kind of sidle up to Scott and say, you know, we haven’t seen you in Sunday services. So now Scott realizes that, like the reverend is going to see him by condoms. And also the reverend is played by Del Close. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: One of the the founders of? Well, I mean, improv. 

 

Alison Leiby: Improv. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Not the creator of improv, but what would you call it? 

 

Alison Leiby: I think one like the the. Not father, but like. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Daddy? 

 

Alison Leiby: The way the way it’s done or it has been done, at least for the past like 25 years, is his method. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, he is what the, credit might be, one of the one of the influences on modern improvisational theater? He co-founded Improv Olympic. So. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Someone who is, you know, is seminal to the improv and as someone who has done improv. You always hear about Del Close. And he’s playing the reverend. And so Scott, because he’s a coward and a bastard, says, Oh, these aren’t for me, they’re for my friend. He’s got he’s a real dirtbag. He’s got some naive girl he’s going out with. And I actually forced him to come down here and use protection cause I was like, It’s the least you could do. 

 

Alison Leiby: [laughter] Okay bro. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And then Paul doesn’t know about this, so he’s trying like, What’s the hold up? I can’t keep this girl waiting. And it seems to confirm what Scott’s story is. And the pharmacist comes up and asks, like, ribbed or, you know, regular. And the reverend like, Well, why are you buying the condoms for your friend? And Scott’s like, You know him? He’s a dog he wouldn’t even buy them. I’m going to make him take these condoms. And the pharmacist looks at Paul and says, That boy, doesn’t need condoms. He needs a muzzle. So Scott is has cleverly deflected onto Paul. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, Can Man is in the woods, finds a smoking crater where the meteorite has landed. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And of course, he does what you do, what you find a smoking crater in the woods. He takes a big stick and just kind of jabs it into the hole. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes absolutely. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I would do that. We all would do that. 

 

Alison Leiby: That would be yes, you would be like, let me just see. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. I’ll just poke and see what comes out. Unfortunately, when he lifts the stick. There’s like a huge melted mass of sort of a caramelly like consistency. It is the blob. So he’s picked up a piece of the blob. And unfortunately, Alison, the piece of the blob darts up the stick toward the Can Man’s hand. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he screams in pain. 

 

Alison Leiby: Understandably. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We cut to Meg Penny’s house and it’s kind of like the suburban chaos in the late eighties. You know, there’s like her younger brother, Kevin, with his friend Eddie, and they’re like slurping Jell-O off of a plate. And I think this was to be like, ten or 11, like pre-adolescent, but precocious. So they’re like, Jeez, Mom and her mother, Mrs. Penny comes over, chides them, and she’s like, they tell her like, We’re going to go bowling with Eddie’s older brother, Anthony. And then Eddie blurts out, and then we’re going to go see Garden Tool Massacre, because my brother’s the usher. I can get us in. 

 

Alison Leiby: Garden Tool Massacre, a horror movie?

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, now I need that to exist. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, you do see clips of it later and it looks like. I’m 100% want to see it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Amazing yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And but Kevin’s like, why would you tell my mom that she’s not going to let me go? So, of course, Miss Penny forbids him from going. And Kevin’s like, You’re an idiot, Eddie. Meanwhile, Meg’s running around being like, I have a date. My sweater got shrunk in the wash, and Mrs. Penny gives her her cashmere sweater to wear. And then as a result, Meg has a look on that is I just. Somebody must be doing it. But it’s like a sort of like woodland brown forest green sweater with a button down top underneath any string of pearls. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh. What a look.

 

Halle Kiefer: You’re never seeing that. 

 

Alison Leiby: No that’s. That’s such a good look.

 

Halle Kiefer: You’re never seeing that someone should bring that. That’s suburban, mom. And then I have a I have a comfortable sweater and a string of pearls. Incredible. 

 

Alison Leiby: Incredible. A look.

 

Halle Kiefer: Finally, finally, Paul shows up to pick up Meg. Mrs. Penny invites him in, and Kevin and Eddie head out because they’re sleeping over at Eddie’s house. And she again is like, Do not go see that movie. Of course, we know they’re going to sneak out and go see the movie. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We also see on her way out that she makes Kevin put on a jacket and the zipper keeps sticking. Of course, we’re going to see that later. Please wear a functional zipper when the blob is in town. Is what I would say.

 

Alison Leiby: I guess like you should always have a jacket with like a functional zipper or buttons because you don’t know if it’s a day. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. 

 

Alison Leiby: That you’re going to encounter the Blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, and remember what would the blob do, right? Not for you to do the same, but like, if the blob is there to, we’ll try to use it. Just try to plan around it.

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah, it’s kind of like that rule of like always wear clean underwear in case you get in a car accident and like, that’s part of it. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I mean imagine having such filthy underwear. But also it’s like, who is judging somebody’s underwear where it’s like, oh, I’m sorry, my dead body doesn’t have clean underwear. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Or like my badly, like, grow up. If you’re if you’re looking at my underwear, when I’m in a car accident, you’re the pervert. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You’re the pervert. That’s what I would say. Before they leave. Meg says to Paul. You know, my dad just got home. I want to just. I want him to introduce you because he wants to meet anyone I’m going out with. Alison. Paul walks in the room to meet her father. It is the pharmacist that Scott bought the condoms from. 

 

Alison Leiby: Ooh boy. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the pharmacist sees him. He just goes ribbed [laughter] which I again. Excellent. 

 

Alison Leiby: Incredible. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile. Well, Brian is. He ate. He ate. Ladies and gentlemen. 

 

Alison Leiby: He ate. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Brian is still working on his bike. So he’s in the woods trying to fix his bike enough to drive it home. But it’s the middle of the night. It’s dark. And of course, he hears the sounds of screaming. Alison. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, good, good, good. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he looks up in time to see the Can Man screaming and swinging down a hatchet. And so, again, of course, we immediately assume. Oh, no, he’s about to hatchet me. No. The Can Man  is trying to cut off his own hand because the blob has started to dissolve his hand and he’s trying to cut off the blob part. 

 

Alison Leiby: I mean. That’s smart. 

 

Halle Kiefer: What else are you going to do? 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s something like. I don’t know what I like. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: I don’t know if I would have the foresight in that moment to be like, I should stop this before it goes any further. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. 

 

Alison Leiby: Because I’m trying to undo what’s already been done. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the idea is like the blob is like dissolving him, like acid. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh my God. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So he’s still alive while his hand is being dissolved by the blob? 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Unfortunately, as soon as he cuts like, you know, you can’t just cut up your arm with one swing. 

 

Alison Leiby: No you have to like saw it off. 

 

Halle Kiefer: As soon as the blob feels or tastes the blood, it just starts rushing up his arm. So it’s nothing you can do. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh that’s a bad way to go. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I know. And Brian tries to, like, help him and run to him. But the Can Man, like, runs off, panicked into the woods. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Brian tries to chase him down to see what he can help because Brian doesn’t know what’s going on either. Obviously.

 

Alison Leiby: Who would at that point?

 

Halle Kiefer: Fortunately, our, our, the fates of our characters are about to collide. Paul is allowed to take Meg out and Meg’s like, I’m really sorry about my dad. I’ve never seen him like that. And Paul says, Nope, it’s not his fault. It’s Paul’s just he’s going to fucking die. That’s his fault. So apparently they did hash it out and they still let Paul take her out. Unfortunately, as they drive along a mountain road Can Man runs in the middle of the road and they hit him and they. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh my God. Can Man. Tough day.

 

Halle Kiefer: This poor bastard. This poor bastard. Yeah. What a day. 

 

Alison Leiby: What a day for Can Man. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Brian runs out of the woods after him. They all start yelling at each other. Paul’s like, Brian, what did you do to him? He’s like I didn’t do anything. Look at his hand. He’s got some sort of corrosive chemical on it, and they argue and eventually. Meg and, there’s a lot of lines in this that are like, Are you two done yet? Like that? Very like. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Something that is said in every movie from like 1985 to 2012. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Was a woman going, Are you two done yet? And eventually they were. So they put Can Man into the back of a car. And the Can Man is telling, trying to tell them from the sky it fell from the sky. But they’re like, I can’t—

 

Alison Leiby: I don’t know what’s happening. Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. So all three drive him to the hospital and as soon as they go in, they have him wait. He’s in bad shape, you know, he’s been not only has the corrosive thing, he’s been hit by a car and he has hatchet wounds. 

 

Alison Leiby: I mean. It’s a lot. 

 

Halle Kiefer: The poor bastard. And so they’re waiting there and they go to the front desk. Also these three are teenagers, by the way. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And they go up they’re like, oh, this guy got hit by a car, he has acid on his head. And the nurse says. 

 

[clip of Margaret Smith]: Does he have Blue Cross? 

 

[clip of Shawnee Smith]: I don’t know. 

 

[clip of Margaret Smith]: Medical insurance of any kind? 

 

Alison Leiby: America. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I was like this. I love this movie. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And she calls the orderly over and puts Can Man in room three and asks the teens to fill out paperwork which again, I was like— [both speaking] 

 

Alison Leiby: He’s a man we hit. Like I don’t know what else you want me to tell you. [laughter]

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. I don’t know his medical history but Brian is genuinely concerned about Can Man And we see Meg like, see Brian being like, tender with him and you see like the first moment of Meg being like, Oh, actually I like Brian a lot. So Brian leaves and says, These people don’t care about what happened. If you need me, you know, I’ll be me, where I’ll be. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Back at the Grove. I would have called my parents, but instead they just start filling out Can Man’s paperwork. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I don’t know. 

 

Alison Leiby: [laughs] My God. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But a certain point and Paul gets up to go buy Meg a soda. And when he does, he can see in the Can Man’s room and it looks like there’s something sliding under the blanket over Can Man’s body like a snake. Alison. He walks to the room, past the doctor’s office and Can Man’s head turns and he sees his throat is distended and pulsing like there is something inside his body. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Paul freaks out and rushes to the doctor’s office who is speaking to a patient and yells, I’m speaking to a patient. And of course, Paul is like I. There’s a man who’s dying. And the doctor played by Jack Nance, who is also from Twin Peaks. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, interesting. Well, that could be part of the vibe. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, absolutely. And he’s great and perfect in this like kind of like, you know, a doctor confronted with the horrors of the world. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so he rushes in and he pulls back Can Man’s blanket to reveal Can Man’s entire body south of his torso has been eaten away, as if by acid. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay.

 

Halle Kiefer: So the blob has dissolved him and he is dead. 

 

Alison Leiby: Well, yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: He’s out of organs.

 

Halle Kiefer: You need, you need a quorum of organs to survive. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he no longer has them. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So the doctor runs over to the emergency, like, get all the nurses in here, and Paul runs to the phone in the doctor’s office to call the sheriff’s department to be like, somebody is dead. I wrote instead of to report, a murder report, a mystery. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. It’s not even a murder at this point. It’s just like something’s happening. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, some guy fell apart and we don’t, and turned into goo. 

 

Alison Leiby: He dissolved in a bed, so help?

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, Meg hears a commotion and says Paul? And runs down to try to help. Just as Paul connects with Sheriff Geller at the sheriff’s office, we see from behind the door, from the ceiling drops what looks like a giant moving sentient uterus the size of a cow. 

 

Alison Leiby: What. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Like a dark pink, purple, like organ. Like reaching—

 

Alison Leiby: Size of a cow? 

 

Halle Kiefer: It’s huge. It’s gigantic. Bigger than a person. 

 

Alison Leiby: Wow. That’s an interesting measurement to use. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I’m trying to think, what’s something else the size of a car [both speaking] it’s smaller than a car—

 

Alison Leiby: I know how big a cow is. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, it’s. It’s bigger than a person, smaller than a car. So I guess in my mind. A cow?

 

Alison Leiby: Cow is it.

 

Halle Kiefer: Because cows are pretty big? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So it descends to the back of Paul’s head. He doesn’t see it. We do, of course. And he’s on the phone with the sheriff. He’s like, I’m down here with Meg and Brian Flagg was here earlier, and as soon as he says Brian Flagg, the sheriff’s like, oh, I bet it was him. 

 

Alison Leiby: He was always dissolving people. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. [laughs] Like he didn’t create the blob. And as he talks, we, the audience see drops of liquid falling onto the doctor’s desk, dissolving the wood. And finally Paul looks up to see the blob falling on him. He screams, and Meg runs the door and sees the blob consuming Paul alive and shrieking and is dissolving the skin off his face and his eyes out of his head. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And finally the integrity of his skull collapses. 

 

Alison Leiby: You need, the skull needs integrity. 

 

Halle Kiefer: It really does. 

 

Alison Leiby: We all need integrity and our skulls need it most of all. 

 

Alison Leiby: Keep your hair on and your brain in. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And his face sort of warps into like a ghost face, like extended human face with no eyes. The effects are great, the effects are incredible. And he is, of course, screaming as his skull, you know, collapses in and she tries to grab his arm and his arm just comes off in her hand at the elbow. And so, of course, she faints because you would faint when you see that. 

 

Alison Leiby: I can’t imagine another physical response to that experience.

 

Halle Kiefer: Her body says absolutely not. 

 

Alison Leiby: Maybe throwing up. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, that’s what I would do that first, I would throw up while fainting. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Yes. I’d pass out and hit the floor when my vomit does. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. And but luckily at least gets a little break. Unfortunately, she is passed out near, of course, the blob, which, you know, is probably the worst place to a—

 

Alison Leiby: It’s a tough place to be. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. I also want to say that the special effects in the film are done by Tony Gardner, and they did an excellent, excellent job. And he ended up having a crew of 33, including artist Chet Zar and mechanical designer Bill Sturgeon. Excellent work to all of these people. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Terrifying, disgusting. And again, as practical effects are just better any time. And obviously some of this is is, you know, a computer generated image. But. 

 

Alison Leiby: Of course. 

 

Halle Kiefer: A lot of it is practical like this, his body being take over. The blob is clearly practical and it was incredibly well done. So she passes out when she comes to Alison, the blob is gone and so is Paul’s body. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s not good. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the cops arrives and everyone thinks that Meg is just being hysterical.

 

Alison Leiby: Did the arm. What happened to the arm she pulled off. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I guess the blob ate it when she was asleep. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, so that was, is the blob eating things? And like, like growing and adapting from them or is it just destroying? I mean, I guess this is they ate. So I should assume it’s like consuming. 

 

Halle Kiefer: That’s a great question. Yes. We find out later that the supposition and I liked it, it’s never really confirmed because they don’t really know enough about this. 

 

Alison Leiby: How could you possibly study the blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, exactly. Exactly. They it implies that it is hunting its prey. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So I think the idea. So the real question is, why wouldn’t it eat Meg, why wouldn’t it have just eaten Meg when she’s passed out? 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: That I think it’s just a plot contrivance. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. We just need somebody to keep it moving. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. So it is getting larger as it consumes more calories, but also it is intentionally eating these people. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: As a sentient decision. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s what it eats. Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: It ate. And so everyone’s like, we know something horrible happened. The Can Man looks a mess. Paul’s body is missing. But again, they’re like, she’s a hysterical teenage girl, probably he was regular murdered. Now she’s in shock. And we have to find out what happened. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the sheriff says they put her in a car to go home. Sheriff goes, we need to find the son of a bitch who did this. And then a cruiser pulls up. In the back is Brian Flagg and the deputy whose name is Deputy Briggs says maybe we already have. Gentlemen. Is this can we not open our minds. 

 

Alison Leiby: A little bit. 

 

Halle Kiefer: To the fact that this one kid that you hate so much, who how would he be able, how using what means? How would he have done this? 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. Right. It’s not like this is a huge step from like loitering and like any other likes or it’s like, oh, you like. Knocked over a tree with your motorcycle. Like what? Like whatever. Like youthful and juvenile pranks and, like, bad boy stuff he’s been doing. Like, now several people are missing. [laughs]

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. And yes, it involves implies an escalation that we haven’t seen from Brian. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Would be a lot quick. Like short. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Cut to someone who absolutely should be killed by the blob and fortunately will be Scott. Paul’s friend is on a date with Vicky, his girlfriend, and is trying to get her drunk enough that she will agree to have sex with him. 

 

Alison Leiby: Cool. 

 

Halle Kiefer: It is the eighties. There was a lot more that I always think of Revenge of the Nerds where. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yep. 

 

Halle Kiefer: One of the nerds has sex with a woman while dressed as Darth Vader and she’s under the impression that he’s her boyfriend. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Which, of course, is sexual assault. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes, that is assault. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so she’s like, really out of it already. And she but she sees they get there on a cliff looking over the hospital. So she’s like, why are all these lights there? Because she could see all the cops that have arrived at the hospital. And this guy goes, oh, it’s probably just a promotional event. They’re giving away free tonsillectomies. And it’s like, I need the blob to show up as soon as possible for this guy. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he looks at Vicky, who again, is like eyes closed, like nodding off. And he goes, you know, it looks like you need one another, one of my cherry coolers. And she says no and physically pushes him away. So again, I hope that he’s broken down to his component parts by the blob—

 

Alison Leiby: Yes destroy this man. Yes. Dissolve him quickly or not not quickly, slowly. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But arrive quickly. And Scott gets up, but he opens his trunk and there’s like a full bar, like he has all these different drinks, is clearly making like girl drinks to, like. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Get girls drunk. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And not only do we see him making like a putting like I mean, just trying to essentially, like anesthetize a teenage girl with this. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We also see because he told Vicky, like, you know, I gave you my school ring, that means that we’re going steady. So that means you’re going to, you know, and then he just has a cigar box full of fake school rings, so he’s such a piece of shit. He’s not just trying to get this girl drunk to have sex with her. He’s giving different rings in a sociopathic bid to create intimacy with these women. And I need the blob to handle it. Now.

 

Alison Leiby: Get him. Get the blob here. Destroy this boy. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Fortunately, he has left the car, the driver’s side door open when he went to the trunk. And we see and hear, something slithering through the grass and into the car. And when he gets into the car, Vicky is completely passed out, looks unconscious. So he’s, of course, going to try to rape her and he looks down her shirt and he’s like having a one sided conversation with her, which is so fucking dark. And he’s like, oh, wow, it is hot in here. I probably would think it’d be a lot cooler if I unbutton your shirt. Oh, you want me to do another button? So again, it’s like I need God’s blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Die, die. 

 

Halle Kiefer: To turn this man into mashed potatoes. 

 

Alison Leiby: Blob him. 

 

Halle Kiefer: When he reaches into her shirt. Alison. A tentacle of the blob shoots out and grabs him. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, so it had already gotten into her. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. And we see her skull collapse inward and tendrils of the blob. It’s sort of like when you hold a like a fire, like a garden hose. Like as her skull collapses, tendrils of blobs shoot out. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Like tentacles and grabs Scott. 

 

Alison Leiby: Bye bye. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And we see him screaming and he kicks out the driver’s side window. And we know Scott’s got his last desserts. 

 

Alison Leiby: Scott got got. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Which, of course, is a big old heap of hell in a blob. Back at home, we see Meg as crying in bed looking at a snow globe, and her dad is raging. Her dad goes, I knew she never should have gone out with that guy. It’s like that guy was murdered and disappeared. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And you’re like, bad that he took like, there’s this is not you’re mad about the wrong thing. You know what I mean? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Mrs. Penny comes in to give Meg a sedative, and Meg says. Do you? Do you believe me? Do you believe I saw what I saw? And her mom says. I’m sure the police will have this whole thing settled by the morning. 

 

Alison Leiby: That is a real. That’s a disappointed.

 

Halle Kiefer: I saw Paul get eaten by the blob. This is gaslighting mother. 

 

Alison Leiby: I pulled someone’s arm off. Like. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. And then her mom shuts off the light and says you’re safe. That’s all that matters. 

 

Alison Leiby: That is just not true. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And she shuts the door. Alison, at this point, if you’re Meg, what do you do? 

 

[voice over]: What would you do? 

 

Alison Leiby: I mean, I guess I’m a little unclear on, like, how the blob moves through matter. 

 

Halle Kiefer: They do play a little fast and loose with it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, so there’s not like a because I’d be like, I’m going to just then lock myself in this room and everybody else can go figure it out. I’m not going back outside. I’m not going back. And this is, I’m just. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I think if you were to be inside of an airtight bunker, that would work. But the problem with the blob is the blob can, as we’ll see soon, say get under a door. 

 

Alison Leiby: Get under a door or window. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, exactly. Any kind of crack in anything. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And then honestly, it’s it eventually gets to such a size that a wooden door, the weight of it will break through a wooden door. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And or glass. You know, it might not be able to open a doorknob, but it doesn’t need to.

 

Alison Leiby: I’m getting in the car and I’m just driving until I’m—

 

Halle Kiefer: Get the fuck out of there. 

 

Alison Leiby: Somewhere else. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Get the fuck out of there. 

 

[AD BREAK] 

 

Halle Kiefer: We see Meg has put in of taking the sedative, put it on her nightstand, she throws open the window and she’s headed out into the night into the night because she’s not going to let this stand. Alison. 

 

Alison Leiby: I think let it stand if it meant that I could get away. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But I think maybe if—

 

Alison Leiby: If I’m her, in this moment. 

 

Halle Kiefer: The gap between escape and the blob is narrowing. You know. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. That’s what it feels like. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And unfortunately, it’s going to get even more narrow because we see the blob, which has Scott’s fake school ring in it slide into the sewer. So now it’s in the sewer system. 

 

Alison Leiby: Great. Good. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Headed down towards town. 

 

Alison Leiby: Of course it is. 

 

Halle Kiefer: At the police station. We see Deputy Briggs haranguing Brian, basically, like we know you did this and it’s like you are just lying to someone and intimidating him. And he gets really close to Brian to threaten him. And Brian licks the deputy’s mouth and the deputies about to punch him and the sheriff has to like, break them up. But the deputy is clearly consumed with punishing Brian for Paul’s murder. But the sheriff’s like, listen, he has no motive. No one puts him at the scene when Paul was dead and he doesn’t have a drop of blood on him. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Let him go. This clearly wasn’t him. Also, I’m like, he’s 17. Like not that a 17 year old could kill somebody, unfortunately, but they’re not planning the perfect murder. Like, what are you talking about? 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. He’s still a kid. Like, there’s this bodies disappeared.

 

Halle Kiefer: Right. The only one who could plan a perfect murder. Murder is the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Is the blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So Brian leaves the police station right as Meg arrives because Meg was arriving to try to bail him out, and she says, I need to talk to you. You were there. You saw that thing on the Can Man’s hand. And he’s like, listen, I’m a rebel. I’m a lone wolf. I don’t know how to help. You don’t have to help anyone I actually only take care of myself. 

 

Alison Leiby: Cool. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he goes to the diner, which is closing up. But Fran says, oh, the grill’s off, but I’ll go make you a sandwich. And Meg storms in after and says and he says, again, another classic eighties movie line. You don’t give up, don’t you? 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, my God. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I can’t.

 

Alison Leiby: I love the eighties. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And she says, look, no one believes you about what happened, but you saw it. He says, I just saw an old man with a funky hand. That’s all. And she says that thing killed the old man. And then it killed Paul, and it was getting bigger. So what the fuck are we doing? And Brian says, Did you tell the cops that because you sound strung out? And she says, You know what? You pretend to be a rebel. Like, Oh, you do your own thing. I thought you were different, but I see you’re just like everyone else in this town. You’re full of shit. And she tries to storm out, but the front door is locked from the inside, which I think was a funny [both speaking] comedy bit—

 

Alison Leiby: That’s a fun moment.

 

Halle Kiefer: Just like oh. And so he apologizes and has her sit down and gives her a half sandwich and tries to start talking to her. Meanwhile, over at the sheriff’s office, it’s all hands on deck looking for Paul’s body. Like trying to figure out like what happened, but all hands on deck. All right. The sheriff, the deputy and six volunteers and then the dispatch lady who answers 911 calls. 

 

Alison Leiby: Just not enough to stop a blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. And again, small town. They’re not used to a blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s all that’s there. Nobody was prepared being like, well, it’s not quite tourist season. It is blob season. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, and now we all prepare for that. And Sheriff Geller also has this other ulterior motive where he’s looking at his note from Fran that says, I’ll be off at 11 or I get off at 11. And he goes, I’m just worried about a friend. I guess I’m worried about everybody tonight. And then he heads out. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, we see Fran give Meg and Brian she had two pieces of pie. She said I was going to throw them out anyways. Just enjoy them. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay fine. 

 

Halle Kiefer: While George, the short order cook is like cleaning up in the back and he starts to plunge the sink cause it’s stopped up. Alison.

 

Alison Leiby: Uh oh, I think I know what’s in the sink. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You sure do. He reaches in the drain like we saw on the trailer to pull out some slime and he reaches in again and the slime immediately starts dragging his body into the drain. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah, that’s going to happen when you’re blobbing.

 

Halle Kiefer: Absolutely. And he screams. And Fran, Brian and Meg run into the kitchen in time to see George’s broken, bloody limbs snapping as he’s pulled headfirst into the sink drain. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So his skeleton is sort of like shattering. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Like twigs and blood is spraying everywhere. Again, excellent effect. Until finally there is just his little foot hanging out of the top. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh foot. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And then the blob shoots out of the fucking sink drain. And it just in the diner they run, Meg and Brian run into the freezer, chased by the blob and shut the door, only to see the blob start to come underneath the door. And then when it touches the frost of the freezer, it pulls back. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay, so it can’t get cold. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. The blob hates freezing temperatures and they’re like, okay, well, ski season can’t come fast enough. We’re going to need it to be cold here. 

 

Alison Leiby: Let’s get let’s get people on the slopes and blob out of here. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. Meanwhile, they’re huddled there. Fran breaks a window to escape because, again, the front door is locked from the inside. She runs into the alley, into a phone booth to call the sheriff because she has the number down, he left her his number, and she gets in and makes a call. As soon as the phone rings, she looks up and the blob is descending over the phone booth and she’s screaming and Fran screams. I need to talk to Sheriff Geller. And the dispatch says, Sheriff Geller. Oh he went down to the diner and Fran turns to look into the blob, and she sees Sheriff Geller’s half dissolved face floating in the ooze. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. That. You hate to see that. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Alison. His eyes are still moving. You hate to see it. And they’ll never get to go on that date, but I guess they’ll be able to go to a date in heaven because as Fran tries to hold her foot against the door. 

 

Alison Leiby: It can’t. I mean, the blob is bigger than. [both speaking] Bigger than love. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Bigger than all of us. Exactly. And the glass of the booth explodes and the blob sort of explodes inside like water, like a tsunami, and crushes her and envelops her as she screams. So now Fran is dead as well. Meg and Brian kind of try to listen at the door for the blob, the door to the freezer. And Brian gets a meat hook and they started to get out the freezer, try to figure out how to escape. And she says the front door is locked and he picks up a brick and says, don’t worry, I’ve got a key. Which, again, an excellent line. 

 

Alison Leiby: Really good. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, we see Reverend Meeker, playwright Del Close, walking down the empty Main Street, past the diner when he hears something strange and he sees the blob, which just looks like it’s like 20 feet across now, slithering back into the sewer. 

 

Alison Leiby: A lot of slithering. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the reverend approaches the diner and sees like the front door is busted in. So he must have arrived about five minutes after Meg and Brian left. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. Yeah.

 

Halle Kiefer: I do like the way this is, like, we are picking up strands in a way. Like, we don’t have to see them break the door. We know what happened. And so he’s arriving, like 10 minutes after they left. Right. And he starts to go through, be like, is anyone hurt? Is anyone okay? And he gets to the freezer and he finds on the ground little bits of broken off and frozen blob attached to the frost. Because when the—

 

Alison Leiby: Frozen blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because when the blob freezes, it becomes a crystal. So he they look like gemstones. So of course, he takes a jar and he starts putting them inside and they’re sort of glimmering and have like a purple electric light in it. And he’s looking at them. 

 

Alison Leiby: It sounds beautiful. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I know. So course you understand, of course you’d go pick it up. So, Brian and Meg run down to the police station because it’s nearby and the dispatcher is like, I don’t know where the sheriff is. We know he’s in the blob, but the deputy went down to Elkins Grove to try to find. Anything, try to find what happened. And that’s where the Can Man, of course, first found the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. Of course. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Alison, they are they arrive and they find the deputy’s cruiser flashing his life, but they can’t find Deputy Briggs. And they walk into the woods and they see a piercing bright light and they find that the government has arrived. 

 

Alison Leiby: Thank God. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We’ve got scientists in bio suits, helicopters, of course, the research advisors immediately pull guns on them. But then the leader of the researchers, Dr. Meddows, and there are all these white biohazard suits, steps forward to calm everything down and say, hey, we’re a government sanctioned biological containment team. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We have been sent to figure out what the fuck is going on. And he is joined by Colonel Hargis, who is a colonel with them. And Deputy Briggs is also still alive and he storms over to yell at Brian and be like, cut the bullshit. It’s like you. Even now you have to be on this kid’s case. Please.

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Like just focus on what needs to be focused on right now.

 

Halle Kiefer: Focus on the blob bitch. And Dr. Meddows tells them there was a meteorite that landed. We are microbe hunters. And he tells them. 

 

[clip of Joe Seneca]: Dinosaurs ruled our planet for millions of years. And yet they died out almost overnight. Why? A meteor fell to earth carrying an alien bacteria.

 

[clip of Shawnee Smith]: Plague? Is that what this whole thing is about? 

 

Halle Kiefer: The implication is, oh, it wasn’t like climate change or it wasn’t like the effect on the planet that killed the dinosaurs. The meteor that killed the dinosaurs actually unleashed some sort of. 

 

Alison Leiby: Blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, virus or bacteria had a blob. And Brian’s like, do you actually think that something like that could happen? And Dr. Meddows tells them it’s something I’ve expected and prepared for all my life. All your life? 

 

Alison Leiby: All your life? 

 

Halle Kiefer: The first 18 years even. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But Brian says, well. I’ll tell you what. If that meteor brought something, if it’s if it’s germ, it’s the biggest sort of a bitch I’ve ever seen. 

 

Alison Leiby: [laughs] Calling someone a son of a bitch. Is such a. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, it’s so good. 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s not even just someone calling the Blob a son of a bitch. It’s really funny. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So we then see two camp counselors making out in the woods, and there’s a guy nearby trimming the hedges, and the guy says, Isn’t it a little late for that? For him to be trimming the hedges? What if that guy’s a peeping Tom? And the girl replies, Well, let’s give him something to  peep at. And then they start making out. And the guy trimming the hedges, lifts his head and revs his weed whacker, and he’s wearing a hockey mask. And the guy goes, Wait a minute. Hockey season ended months ago and they scream. And we are, of course, watching Garden Tool Massacre. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We are in the theater with Kevin and Eddie. 

 

Alison Leiby: Movie within a movie. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And incredibly, they’re being annoyed by a guy who keeps spoiling the movie behind them. [laughter] And he’s like, narrating it to his extremely bored and annoyed looking girlfriend he’s like, oh man, you’re going to love this part. Oh, you won’t believe what’s about to happen. And Kevin tries to turn around, to say, shut up. And the guy says, You shut up, which is the civil this is what the discourse is in our country right now, so. 

 

Alison Leiby: Correct. Yeah. Shut up. You shut up.

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s it. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And we see Anthony come over. Anthony, of course, is the usher he’s Eddie’s older brother. He’s like, don’t get in trouble. If you get in trouble, I get in trouble. Put your feet down. Stop talking to people. Meanwhile, the projectionist is up in his production room and he’s playing with a yo-yo and he’s sweating. It’s incredibly hot up there. The A.C. is not working, Alison. 

 

Alison Leiby: Uh oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he hears a sound in the air vent. So he opens it up and he calls down to the manager. He’s like, The AC is broken, it’s boiling up here. And the manager says, it’s not. It’s on full blast. It’s working everywhere else in the theater. Alison, the projectionist puts his head inside the duct and screams as of course the blob descends on him. 

 

Alison Leiby: Blob blobs going to blob, you know.

 

Halle Kiefer: And then the theater manager arrives. Of course, it’s totally dark of the projection room. He doesn’t know where the projectionist is. And then he sees a yo-yo drop from the ceiling Alison. 

 

Alison Leiby: A yo-yo?

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, because the projectionist was playing with a yo-yo. So again, it’s just it’s just a stylistic choice to have the yo-yo drop. He looks up and he sees the projectionist is being absorbed into the blob, which has covered the entire ceiling like a slime mold. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so his face is kind of being absorbed into a slime mold. It’s sort of. It’s very Cronenberg esque. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Back in the woods, we see Brian and Meg are taken to a van and said the entire town is now under quarantine, including you. And they try to dip, but they are loaded back in the van and taken back to town regardless. So everyone, in Arbeville is no longer allowed to leave and they’re just rounding everybody up and taking them to town hall to quarantine them from whatever this bacteria might be. That’s what at least they’re telling people at this point. They’re in the back of the van. They’re alone. Brian’s freaking out, and Meg says they’re here to help us. He’s not believing it, of course. He’s like, No, I know something bad is going to happen. I’m going to escape. And he goes to open the back door and jump out of the moving van. And he tells her, Come on. But she says, I have to go help my family. And he says, Well, I have to look out for myself. I’m the only one who can or the only one who has offered to do the job. Basically, again, I’m a lone wolf. I’m not like you. I can’t let anyone care about me. And. He opens the door and he fucking jumps out of a moving van and we see her close the door after him. Meanwhile, in town, all of the containment agents in the bio suits are taking everyone from their home and bringing them to the town hall, which seems like it’s just setting up a big blob attack to have everybody in one place. But. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know, what do I know? I’m not the federal government. 

 

Alison Leiby: No, it doesn’t seem the smartest. But if if you’re the blob, it seems like a great day. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. I think the blob is going to love what they’ve got cooking for him or it so Meg finds her parents. But when they find Eddie’s parents, they’re like, wait a minute. Eddie told us that he was sleeping over your son’s house. 

 

Alison Leiby: Uh oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: He’s at that damn movie. So the dad starts to argue with one of the containment team members to let him go to the movie theater. Meg just sneaks off to try to go find the boys. We cut back to the movie theater. They don’t know about the blob yet. 

 

Alison Leiby: Not yet. They’re about to. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the guy behind who keeps spoiling, it was like, oh, you’re going to love this. He hot curls her to death. And Kevin turns around to tell to shut up again just in time to see the jerk jerked up to the ceiling and the blob expanding over the room. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, boy. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Rapidly. And Alison, I ask you at this point, who will survive? 

 

[voice over]: Who will survive? 

 

Alison Leiby: Who do we have left? 

 

Halle Kiefer: We have Brian and Meg. 

 

Alison Leiby: Mm hmm. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We have Kevin and Eddie the little boys. We have Meg’s parents. We have Dr. Meddows, the head of the containment team. We have Deputy Briggs, we have Reverend Meeker. We have Moss, the mechanic. I think that’s those are our major players. 

 

Alison Leiby: I think the blob is going to take over the town and they’re going to shut down the town. So we’ll just have the containment force leader. Left. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay. All right. 

 

Alison Leiby: And he’ll shut everything down and be like, All right. And they’ll, like, freeze the blob to death. But after, like, I could see the fake snow and where, this is going to come from, but, like, I don’t. I don’t think it’s good for this town. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, it’s kind of like The Crazies. Where, like, at the end, again, spoiler for The Crazies, which is excellent, where it’s like, well, we’re just going to take you to somewhere else where this is happening. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yep. Yep. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Excellent guess.

 

[AD BREAK]

 

Halle Kiefer: Just as Meg arrives in the theater, she is greeted by people are screaming and running because the blob, blob again loves to drop from the ceiling. So blob is dropped onto the crowd, starts absorbing people, dissolving people. Other people are running to the exits. It’s total chaos. Fortunately, Meg finds Kevin and Eddie still alive, pulls them through an exit door. They slam the door. They’re now in the alley and it catches Kevin’s jacket. Alison. They try to get his jacket off and the goddamn zipper sticks, foreshadowing. 

 

Alison Leiby: Once again. Better zippers. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Or just buttons. Go buttons. 

 

Alison Leiby: In case of the blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. In case of blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: In case of the blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Buttons. So Meg Meg is able to rip it off, and they finally run down the alley. But they run. They run the wrong way. So they are now trapped at the back of an alley versus running to the street. And the blob is emerged into the alley block, cutting them off, leaving them one option, which is to go into a manhole into the sewer. Meanwhile, Anthony is like in the like basically screaming from the second story of the movie theater. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Like, sees them try to escape but can’t get to them because the blob is there. Meanwhile, Brian, because he’s leapt out of the van, goes back to the grove to get his bike, which now he is it he was able to fix. So he’s going to take his bike and just fucking leave town. 

 

Alison Leiby: I mean, the only good idea I’ve heard yet. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I know. However he’s arriving right, as they’re lifting the meteorite out of the crater. But Alison, it is not a meteorite at all. It is an American satellite. 

 

Alison Leiby: Uh oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And we basically find out. Dr. Meddows said—

 

[clip of Joe Seneca]: We suspected the conditions in space would have a mutating effect on bacteria, but this. Our little experimental virus seems to have grown up into a plasmic life form. That hunts it’s prey. A predator. It’s fantastic. 

 

Halle Kiefer: The satellite was, in fact, doing an experiment as part of a larger study about chemical and biological warfare. So the satellite held a bacteria and basically they were going to send the bacteria to space to affect how space mutates bacteria, which they’ve done that kind of thing on the space station before, just like taking certain. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah yeah yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Plants and stuff to space to see what space does. And unfortunately Alison it is turning it into what they call a plasmic, life form that hunts its prey. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. Like it’s one thing if it’s like, oh, it’s poisonous, it’s another if it’s like it’s actively looking to eat people. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes, it’s down to clown. It wants to consume. 

 

Alison Leiby: Down to clown. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the colonel, Colonel Hargis, says this would put us ahead of the Russians. Will it? 

 

Alison Leiby: The fuck?

 

Halle Kiefer: You want the blob to eat the Russians? 

 

Alison Leiby: Like, what are we doing? 

 

Halle Kiefer: How would we be able to control it? We can’t control the blob now. Why would be able to control the blob—

 

Alison Leiby: You’re not going to be able to like. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: Explain geopolitics to it. [laughs] 

 

Halle Kiefer: Also it’s very cold in parts of Russia. It’s not going to like that at all.

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah the blob’s not going to hang out in Siberia. That’s like not the blob’s vibe. 

 

Halle Kiefer: One of the other doctors, Jennings says, You don’t get it. The blob is already a thousand times bigger than its original size. By next week, this there may not be a U.S. The idea of U.S. versus Russia. It’s like bitch we. What are we going to do? But Dr. Meddows says, no, we are scientists, which means we have hubris and it’ll be fine if we contain it, which again, you haven’t shown you can do, but okay. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So he and Jennings get into a full argument while Brian’s listening. And Meddows says, Listen, there are nations at stake. There is a globe at stake. And frankly, that is more important than a handful of people in this town and what happens to them, whatever it is, then that will be my cross to bear, basically saying if I have to fucking blow up this town [both speaking] then that’s what has to happen. So Brian, because he is a good person, it’s like, Fuck, I can’t leave and let them burn down the town. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And so he heads back into town. But right then as he turns, he hears them get a call that the blob has made it into the sewer and he could hear Anthony shouting, My brother and Kevin and Meg are down there. So now he’s like, great, Meg’s in the sewer with the blob. Clearly, we’re already falling in love. And even beyond that, I am a decent human being, even though I. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I try to be a loner because I’ve been wounded by the world. This is my moment to become a hero. And Meddows says, actually, it’s good that it’s in the sewer because that’s a contained area. There aren’t a lot of humans down there, so we just had to figure out how to keep it there. But then they said, Well, what about the three civilians we do know? We they just said, you know?

 

Alison Leiby: Meg, Kevin Eddie. Yeah, we know that they’re there. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Meddows says they’re expendable. [gasp] Right at that moment, another team member finds Brian and it’s just basically like, Halt, this is an intruder. And Brian smashes the facemask on his bio suit and tears off on his motorcycle. Alison, it’s time for a car chase. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, finally. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And it wouldn’t be the third act without one. So they chase Brian down. They’ve got trucks, they have a helicopter. They have, like, you know, CDC, ATVs. And they chase him all the way, Alison, to that broken bridge that he failed to jump at the beginning of the film. And this is what I love. I love screenwriting, but I especially love eighties movies. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because when you saw him fail, you knew he was going to have to jump it again.

 

Alison Leiby: You were like he’s gonna make it later. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Alison, he guns it. He hits the jump, while being shot at. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he makes it. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he’s able to get all the way to this huge drainage pipe while the feds are sort of looking for him and he hides inside. And of course, the drainage pipe’s going to lead into the sewer. So it’s actually. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Very fortuitous. Meanwhile, Dr. Meddows and his team, they arrive at the town hall. They’ve set up a command center, which just looks like a plastic tent that someone just bought at Dick’s Sporting Goods. It does not look it’s not like air proofed anyway, but they keep acting like it is, like they’re taking off their mask only inside [laughter] and basically they’re like. It looks like the bacteria’s entirely in the sewer right now. If we can close off these three exits, we could trap it. I don’t know about that, but it’s the best idea we have. You know.

 

Alison Leiby: I mean, I can trap it. I mean, okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. So. But in the sewer. 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s literally the blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meg is trying to take these two little boys. They’re in like waist high poop water. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, my. Oh. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And then she goes, oh, look out for that rat. And one of the boys says, What rat? She looks and realizes as they walk, the rats just keep getting sucked out of the water. The blob is there. 

 

Alison Leiby: Oh my God. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the blob attacks them. And she’s able to push the boys up a utility ladder leading up to a storm drain with like a grade over it. Unfortunately, Alison, the blob grabs and eats Eddie. I’m sorry, Eddie. You were precocious, and now you’re part of the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: You’re part of the blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But she’s able to get her brother through the grate because he’s still a child, but she’s too big to fit and behind her. She’s up on this ladder screaming, her brother on the other side safe. And we see the blob sort of stretch out. It looks like a Venus flytrap that also looks like a butthole. Like it’s like this like fleshy pink mouth reaching up for her and right is about to latch onto Meg. Two of the bio suited agents show up and one starts firing on the blob, which causes it to attack them, following them down the sewer tunnel. So luckily Meg’s able to sort of temporarily escape. The blob drops down in the water to look through another exit and tells Kevin, go to town hall, get help, tell our parents. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Then comes the best scene in the movie. Alison.

 

Alison Leiby: Oh, okay, I’m ready. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because Brian, who is also coming into the sewer through the drainage pipe, hears Meg screaming, hears a commotion, and he guns his motorcycle down the tunnel, which fortunately is big enough for a motorcycle. And as he rides, he sees the blob looming in front of them. Alison he jumps the blob. [gasp] He, like, goes up on the wall and jumps—

 

Alison Leiby: Jumps the blob. Way to go. 

 

Halle Kiefer: He jumps the blob baby. And he skids out and his motorcycle falls. You know, he’s it’s irretrievably broken, but he survives and he finds Meg and the whole thing just smells like shit, you know? It’s just fucking disgusting down there. 

 

Alison Leiby: Of course. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And they run into one of the bio suit guy. It’s like the third guy, and he’s like, It got big old Wilson. They tried to scream inside it. They tried to scream from inside it, and they’re like, Calm down. We all know about the blob and they’re able to make it to a manhole, an open manhole, and they look up and see Dr. Meddows looking down and they hear him say to his team, close it up. 

 

Alison Leiby: [gasp] It’s like, let them up. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Right. And one of the bio suit, one of the bio suit guys is like, that’s our man down there. Like, what are we talking about? And Meddows says, It’s an order. And they close it and they park a truck on top of it so they can’t open it again. But the guy in the bio suit still has his walkie talkie and they’re like screaming and begging for help. You know, they’re still alive and the water starts to rise and the bio suit guy’s panicking. He’s like it’s coming. It’s coming. And Meg’s like, well, you came back for me. That was nice. Sorry. You’re going to die here in the sewer with me, you know? And she says, I thought you only took care of yourself. He’s like, yeah, maybe I should have. I blew it. I’m sorry. But she actually has a plan because she points out that the bio suit guy has a essentially a bazooka sort of slung on the back of his bio suit. 

 

Alison Leiby: Casual. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And through the walkie talkie, Brian says to Meddows, if you won’t listen to us, listen to this. And then he blows the manhole cover up with the bazooka and it blows the cover up, and then it blows the truck over. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. Yes. The explosions I’ve been looking for. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. So now we’re headed into the final showdown between everybody, they scramble to the surface. And Brian grabs a gun from one of the bio suit guys. Of course, Deputy Flagg Briggs is there. It is like I knew it. Don’t don’t do this. You know, like I knew you’d get a gun, and threaten my town. I hate you. Whatever. But then the bios suits pull their guns on Brian and Deputy Briggs has a moment of like, No, no. If anyone’s going to shoot this teenager, it’s going to be me. And so he’s like, he though he has his gun on the containment people. And Dr. Meddows starts telling everyone because it’s outside town halls. So people are like watching and coming out to watch this. And Dr. Meddows says to about Brian, he’s contaminated. He’s he’s been contaminated the whole time, shoot him. In front of the whole town, basically. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Brian says to the deputy, think about it. How did they get here so quick? Who even you didn’t call them? How do they even know about the meteorite? 

 

Alison Leiby: Well, how did they know is my biggest question. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, so I think the answer is because it’s manmade. So this is some kind of germ warfare test. [both speaking] They tracked the, the where the satellite fell. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So they came because they had some sort of tracker on it. And he’s trying to tell them this is germ warfare. They fucked it up. They’re the ones who created this. And now they’re going to try to blame us and potentially, you know, blow up the town. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, Meddows Meddows grabs a gun from his subordinate and is about to fire on Brian in front of everyone, and a tentacle of the blob reaches up to the manhole and drags him into the sewer. 

 

Alison Leiby: Bye bye. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And as he goes down, he shoots the deputy by accident. But luckily it’s just on the shoulder because I thought the deputy got shot the face at first, the way he falls. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But it’s just the shoulder. He’s alive. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the Colonel Hargis goes over the sewer and says, Let’s scrag this son of a bitch. And then he hurls an explosive down into the sewer to blow the blob up. And I’m like [both speaking] why would we think this? He’s not alive in the way that we are. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right? Like, it’s just going to you’re just going to make a bunch of it probably.

 

Halle Kiefer: Right you’re going to blow it into a million fucking pieces. Like how would this possibly like like? It just doesn’t make any sense. Even as a casual observer of the blob. And of course, there’s a moment of silence, we’re getting a false moment of like ah we did it. And the colonel says, Chew on that slime ball, Alison. The whole goddamn ground starts exploding and shaking. 

 

Alison Leiby: Obviously. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the blob shoots out in a giant column bigger than ever onto the street, like spilling over it, and a bunch of it topples onto the colonel, who then detonates what I guess was a explosive vest he was wearing. But it doesn’t matter. The blob is not subdued by explosions. It will consume anything, right? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. If anything, I’m sure the blob likes that. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Honestly, at this point. But that means everyone’s on the street, everyone’s running, screaming everywhere in the town panicking, running away from the blob, which is flowing like flowing over people, consuming cars. And then Reverend Meeker’s there is yelling and everyone says, Don’t you understand? This is all been prophesized. And he gets down on his knees and he begins to pray to the blob Alison. And then is immediately blasted in the side of the face by a flamethrower wielded by a panicked panic containment agent. It’s total mayhem. [laughter] Meg, Meg’s able to get a fire extinguisher and sprays the blob and remembers, oh, right, it’s cold. So then she’s trying to tell everybody. And luckily she’s a bunch—

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah hates the cold. 

 

Halle Kiefer: —yeah, and a bunch of people get sort of cornered into town hall. She’s blasting the blob as it follows them to the town hall. They try to close the door, but again, it crawls under the door. It’s like trying to bust through the door. And at this point, she runs out of fire extinguisher juice. So what are we going to do? 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. It’s in there.

 

Halle Kiefer: Alison, what are they going to do? What is I want to ask this is probably there. We’ve been shown something in the first act that they’re going to bring back in—

 

Alison Leiby: The snow, the snow machine. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yay okay good.

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. We’ve got to use the snow machine. Why else would we have seen it?

 

Halle Kiefer: So Brian. Exactly. So Brian goes to Moss’s mechanic shop and then just bust through the door in the snow machine, which thank God moss had already fixed because I was like, what if it’s already broken?

 

Alison Leiby: At least he prioritized fixing that. 

 

Halle Kiefer: So he plows through traffic and finally gets to town hall. Unfortunately, the deputy was barricading the front door, putting a bookcase over it, and a tentacle just rips through the bookcase and sort of bends him in half and tears him through the wall. So the deputy is also dead. And by the time Brian gets to town hall, the blob is covering sort of half the front of it like it’s halfway up the building and he starts spraying the blob with coolant and freezing it. He then rams it with his truck, which I think was the wrong move, because the truck just flips over and the tank rips off of the cab. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I don’t know what the thought process was. 

 

Alison Leiby: No. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But hey, we’re all just we’re doing the best we can out here. 

 

Alison Leiby: Anything in the moment is a good move forward. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. So Meg, of course, runs out to find the blob crawling over the truck cab where Brian is trapped. But luckily, it’s separate from the tank part. So she runs to one of the bio suit guys who’s literally melting and begging her to help him. And she goes, Oh, sorry. And then takes he has an explosive, like a essentially a messenger bag with the explosive in it. And then she grabs his machine gun and goes full Sarah O’Connor on it and just starts firing in the blob to draw it away from the cab so Brian can survive. 

 

Alison Leiby: Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And she jumps up onto the tank and puts the explosive there with the idea like, I’ll blow this so it will blow all the coolant out of the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Well, because what else are we going to do? 

 

Alison Leiby: It’s something. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And she sets the explosive. And when she goes to jump off the tanker, her foot gets caught in it and she falls as she’s dangling from the tanker as this explosive device counts down. Fortunately, she did draw the blob over to the tanker. So Brian is able to escape from the cab and run to her, pulling her free just in time. And the tank explodes, sending coolant everywhere. And the blob immediately crystallizes into millions of purple crystals. 

 

Alison Leiby: Gorgeous. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the coolant starts to fall over the town as snow. And we see Brian and Meg embrace. They’re all covered in fake snow as everyone emerges from the town to look at the blob and her father runs over. I think it’s sort of like, I guess. Brian, you’re all right. You could have sex with my daughter, you know. 

 

Alison Leiby: Ribbed. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And Moss, the mechanic who I’m really glad got to survive. Said to Brian. 

 

Alison Leiby: Me too. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You see, I told you there would be snow. You just got to have faith. And be turns to the snow maker truck. He says, I wonder if I’m covered for this, which again, it’s the eighties. I love that. 

 

Alison Leiby: Fun. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And he says, everyone, we have to scoop this up and we have to get this to the ice house before dawn, which I’m glad they addressed cause it’s like, okay, well, as soon as it warms up, well, you guys are done for.

 

Alison Leiby: Right. It’s not like it’s actually snowing and staying cold yet. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Exactly. So the idea’s like we’ll scoop up the blob and we’ll get it to a freezer, contain it, and, you know, then that’ll be fine late sometime later. It looks like a beautiful summer day. We see Reverend Meeker, who is now his half of his face was burned by the flame thrower. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And one of his glass lenses is a sunglasses. 

 

Alison Leiby: Patch. Oh. Okay. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Like a fun way to do a patch. And he’s giving a sermon at sort of like a like a pop up or a revival service. And so he’s preaching and I think, was he supposed to be giving us Jonestown? Because it’s like a very mixed race. So there’s like a lot of Black people and not that that is inherently Jonestown, but his demeanor and also the fact that it is a racially diverse congregation. I think we’re supposed to be thinking Jonestown and like the sunglasses, it’s giving Jonestown. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And then. Alison, is this before Jonestown? God. 

 

Alison Leiby: 88. I don’t know, what year was Jonestown?

 

Halle Kiefer: That happened, yeah, 1978. Yeah. So I think we’re supposed to be, you know, And then he goes to the back after he gives us his sermon about the end times. The end of days, of course. And he goes to the back and takes off his sunglasses and we see that one of his eyes is milky white and we see as a gospel singer starts up an older Black woman who follows Reverend Meeker to the back and says, well, when is it going to happen? Like, when is the day of reckoning? And he says, Soon. And he lifts up his jar with the blob shards, which of course, have now thawed and are just like beating themselves against the lid of the jar. And he says, soon the Lord will give me a sign. The blob.

 

Alison Leiby: A scarier ending that I was prepared for. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, it’s a it’s a great one. I love this movie, having not seen it before. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: What an absolute treat. Alison, what are some fatal mistakes you think were made in The Blob? 

 

[voice over]: Fatal mistakes. 

 

Alison Leiby: I think the government’s attempt at biochemistry and space. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 

 

Alison Leiby: Like I get why we need to know. But this is an outcome that you have to be prepared for. And they weren’t. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, well, you know, it just seems like that is sort of move fast and break things is an ethos. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: That is has always been with us and in this case move fast and blob things. Unfortunately.

 

Alison Leiby: Move fast. Blob stuff. But again, I guess like just everybody not immediately fleeing town the second like I guess there is no way to know. And by the time most people were encountering the blob, it was a little late. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yes. 

 

Alison Leiby: To hightail it out of there. But I think everybody was, you know, doing their best with what was going on. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, I think a great example of, yeah, like the the government and scientists really biffing this one, but everyone else is doing the absolute best. Meg. Absolutely crushing it, you know. Brian. Everyone, even like just taking, hitting that guy with the car, then filling out paperwork. I’m like, that’s. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Going up you know—

 

Alison Leiby: Trying. 

 

Halle Kiefer: They’re doing their absolute best. And yes, there’s the, the blob. The blob will consume us all. And the blob. 

 

Alison Leiby: Hopefully. 

 

Halle Kiefer: You know, but so many of our movies sort of the the added element of government dysfunction, the secrecy conspiracy and how that just makes it worse. You know, again, it would be on the nose, except it’s not on the nose. We create this ours to reflect the reality we live in, which is why it exists. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: But. I think other than that, I mean, yeah, everyone did the best they possibly could. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And then where would you place The Blob on the spooky scale, Alison? 

 

[voice over]: A spooky scale. 

 

Alison Leiby: I mean, for enjoyment. A ten. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Mm hmm. 

 

Alison Leiby: But for spookiness I’m going to say a four. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Okay, great. 

 

Alison Leiby: That’s a pretty chilling ending for, like, you know, the world, but. And it was a little gruesome at times. But again, more kind of like how do we get out of this crisis situation and less like jump scare or horror? 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah, I agree. I really liked the downbeat ending. It reminded me of The Mist, which is scarier. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because you don’t necessarily get the explanation. Well, you you sort of do. It’s because there are similar elements like the military. 

 

Alison Leiby: Right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: The government comes in, but there is a more unknowable part to it. So I think seeing the blob and the blob looks great, but then there are some elements where it is CGI, where it looks horrible. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And again, not that you should judge a film by that, but does it take you out? Yes, it does. And much like it would take you out now in the many movies that have, you know, effects that could have been practical and probably would look better. But yeah, I’m going to give it. How scary was I? Ten out of ten. Enjoy. 11 out of ten enjoyed this movie. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: I’m going to give it. Yeah. For a four. Seems right. 

 

Alison Leiby: Feels right. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Because I really did like the ending and I found it chilling. And. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Anytime you add an a religious element to something, I find it much scarier. 

 

Alison Leiby: Very spooky. Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And at the beginning, sort of like having these like when you see the hospital scene, when you see Paul getting dissolved fucking awful.  

 

Alison Leiby: Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And the Can Man. So yeah, I would say a four, but, but with knowing that is a great movie. 

 

Alison Leiby: Yes. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Yeah. So thank you for listing everybody. 

 

Alison Leiby: We blobbed it. 

 

Halle Kiefer: We blobbed it, and we blob you very much. 

 

Alison Leiby: We blob you, and. 

 

Halle Kiefer: And. 

 

Alison Leiby: And. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Until next time. 

 

Alison Leiby: Please. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Keep it spooky. 

 

Alison Leiby: Keep it blob.

 

Halle Kiefer: Keep it, blob. Keep it blobbing. 

 

Alison Leiby: Keep it blob. 

 

Halle Kiefer: Bye. 

 

Alison Leiby: Bye. Don’t forget to follow us at Ruined podcasts and Crooked Media for show updates. And if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Ruined is a Radio Point and Crooked Media production, we’re your writers and hosts Halle Kiefer and Alison Leiby. The show is executive produced by Alex Bach, Sabrina Fonfeder and Houston Snyder, and recorded and edited by Kat Iossa. From Crooked Media our executive producer is Kendra James with production and promotional support from Ari Schwartz, Kyle Seglin, Julia Beach, Caroline Dunphy, and Ewa Okulate.