Ira and Louis return to the stage for a live show in the great home of our bro-iest actors, Boston. Louis grills Ira about writing Pure Innocent Fun, his first memoir-in-essays (on sale now!). Then Ira and Louis countdown the biggest moments of the 2000s, and they wrap it all up with a giant Keep It to Boston, and a few more Keep Its from the audience.

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TRANSCRIPT

 

Louis Virtel I’m so excited to be here. Did you know we were going to get such a Tar set up this, like, the first 20 minutes and really, like, brutally ask him questions? Well, I wanted to do this right, so I wrote this intro. Get your hankies ready. I couldn’t be more obligated to give our guest the James Lipton treatment tonight. I hope he enjoys this. This week’s guest is a cultural critic published in GQ Cosmopolitan and paused for a moment of silence and TV news. He’s also written for TV shows like Daybreak. Q Force and Uncoupled Silence for Quibi. Also, just want to say that. And last but not least, he’s the co-host or, as I like to say, lovable sidekick on a podcast called Keep It. Ever heard of it? Anybody? Now he’s finally clawed his way into the literary world with his essay collection, Pure, Innocent Fun. Please welcome to Keep It. He’s so shy. Ira Madison, the third.

 

Ira Madison III Have. Like there’s a I hate Sawyer side, like from Lost.

 

Louis Virtel This isn’t a mark Twain thing.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Okay. We’ll get to that later. Or not. Hi, Boston. Hi.

 

Louis Virtel How insane is that? That we’re here? I’m shocked. We were just backstage like Nicole Scherzinger praying. And then did you know that when she gets out on stage on Sunset Boulevard, she’s just there for a while and she says while she’s on stage, she’s still praying.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel You’re paying to watch her pray. It’s crazy.

 

Ira Madison III She’s great. And I know.

 

Louis Virtel I can’t stop talking about it. In fact, I talk too long about it on Keep It. So sorry.

 

Ira Madison III So we’re here in the city of the.

 

Louis Virtel What is it, Sister Lee Dreams.

 

Ira Madison III What’s your name? Here?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. What do you go by? What’s your slogan?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, but Beantown. But, like, how do.

 

Louis Virtel You feel about Beantown? Up, Down? No.

 

Ira Madison III Well, the last time I was in Boston, I interviewed Lane away. So Beantown. Okay. Did it.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, I’m there. I continue to be blown away that you can just look onto the street here. It’s very total request live. You know, set this up.

 

Ira Madison III Someone will be outside requesting corn for you can’t leave. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel No, I was always saying my favorite thing about TRL is when someone would ask for an oddly emotional song. They’d be like Kid Rock. Only God knows why. Because my uncle died three months ago, and then people would scream.

 

Ira Madison III It was so inappropriate. I read about your all in the book. Did you ever think that you would be, you know, having to interview me?

 

Louis Virtel It is a nightmare, I have to say. I’m happy to be with you. I’ve never been lower, but I think we all knew that writing a book would be in the cards because, well, first of all, after a while, if you just keep talking, it’s basically considered a book.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel And we record it anyway, so why not? But we can start talking about the book. Sure. What was the actual impetus for writing essays as opposed to writing like a feature or something that isn’t just fragmented?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, well. Well, I wrote a feature film, if you recall, for Jennifer Hudson.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah? Is that in a closet somewhere?

 

Ira Madison III Somewhere? Yeah. Let’s just say I’m not getting that Jojo tunnel anytime soon.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Ah, Keke Palmer really nailed it last.

 

Ira Madison III She did. She did. It must be like. Like. Like the. Like the big stars go viral, right? But yeah. Does everybody get her?

 

Louis Virtel No. I also do they offer that up to everybody, like as Edward Norton. Like doing the worm on the Jennifer Hudson show.

 

Ira Madison III I want to see colors. Sophia. Gus Collins. Okay. Well, so now. Is she going to show up at the SAG Awards?

 

Louis Virtel So I’m ready for the SAG Awards, which.

 

Ira Madison III You could clap for, Lewis he writes to. I know. I’m trying.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, I’m very excited. It’s up in the air. They’re very like, can we write three versions of the script? And also, that’s sort of the tough thing about writing for award shows as you write for all these inevitabilities and then also things that never happen. Like if this person might say this, if this person wins. So it’s this like pinball that never ends and you never feel like you did everything.

 

Ira Madison III What’s one thing you’ve written for an award show that didn’t happen, like when you were doing it for Jimmy?

 

Louis Virtel Well, I wrote for the last Oscars. I wrote for because I’ve written for multiple. I wrote a long joke about how people complain that there’s no original content in movies anymore. And I was like, We got a whole movie about a superstar lesbian Egot winner. And instead all you guys said was Sonic the Hedgehog two and watch that instead. And it was. See, you were like, it’s a five. And it got cut the minute before the Oscars. He cut like three jokes before the end.

 

Ira Madison III That was heard.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. But at the same time, if you watch like an Oscars monologue or most awards shows monologue, it comes down to like 12 or 13 jokes, Really? Like it’s really they have to say so much to everybody in the room before they can get to an actual weekend update like Punch line.

 

Ira Madison III So do we think Miss Color? Yes. Is coming to the SAG Awards.

 

Louis Virtel You’re your authentic accent as always, and sort of saying Latina.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, you’re like.

 

Louis Virtel You’re like Bob Hoskins anywhere in the world, I believe.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. What was the question? Or do you think she’s showing up?

 

Louis Virtel She’s got to show up to one of them.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Well, the Oscars, obviously, she’s got the nom, right? Yes.

 

Louis Virtel I think she’ll hang back for a few ceremonies and then we’ll see her at the very tail end. Because, by the way, there’s like nine awards shows. So it’s it’s easy to skip and no one will care.

 

Ira Madison III Okay. Yeah. But she’s given the interviews like, I want to see her at the ceremony. I want like, would someone make a joke about her two?

 

Louis Virtel I mean, like Conan. Conan O’Brien has the range, but I don’t know about that kind of range. I would guess. Probably not. It’s such an uncomfortable situation. I also, by the way, I just want to reiterate, there has never been a scandal like this and like Oscars look like Oscars. So it is nothing compared to this like so I don’t envy the writing staff, really, other than I think Conan is a brilliant host and I cannot wait to see him host it. I think I also actually, I think it’s fair to say and I, of course, write for a late night show host, best late night show host of all time. He’s fabulous and just has such like, gravitas and intelligence about him. Like he’s the kind of person we’re always like hoping happens in entertainment and rarely does. And I rarely stick up for someone from Harvard like this. I just want to say, I love you, Boston.

 

Ira Madison III All right. So we’re here. We have a yes. When we get to talk about my book, obviously, we have a very special guest this week.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Go ahead.

 

Ira Madison III It’s just me.

 

Louis Virtel Yes.

 

Ira Madison III We don’t have I’m let that go. We were like, can we get someone from Boston? Like, who’s here? Yeah, just hanging out.

 

Louis Virtel Sam. Diane.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, right. But no, we for Louis out. It’s just us. Just the Aaron Louis variety hour and a half. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel We rarely do those anymore.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. It’s just. Yeah. What are we going to do, an episode? Just the two of us again? Yeah, I know that.

 

Louis Virtel Real Debbie Reynolds and Miller Energy, right? I haven’t watched in years.

 

Ira Madison III I do miss, you know, the old days, you know, when Joan Rivers was on the show, like 17 gas cohosts, you know.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Yes. We just went through we’ve had several co-hosts over the years, including we had a Cousin Oliver for one season. Yes.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. So, anyway, we’re also going to discuss, you know, the 2000. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Because we I think on the podcast, we defame the twins a lot because they are a miserable decade. But we wanted to redeem it since it’s like largely the focus of Ira’s book. So we’re going to definitively pick the ten best moments of the 2000s. And you can all scream at us if you don’t like it or whatever, right? A real blackboard jungle type explosion can happen.

 

Ira Madison III And they can do it in person this time. You now instead of just at home. I cannot imagine.

 

Louis Virtel I cannot imagine listening to like people as cocky about our opinions as as we are and then just not being able to scream at us. I truly I would be upset listening at home.

 

Ira Madison III We’re going to talk about the twins and then we’re also going to do after Aki. But we are going to invite the audience to give their keep it. Yes. Not all of you. Yeah, there’s a lot of people here. It’s a sold out show. Right.

 

Louis Virtel And if it and if they end up being personal towards us, that’s fine. But, you know, keep it brief, but be the Ricki Lake audience member of your dreams. Look on this.

 

Ira Madison III I’d like some, like, Wendy interactions. You know, I’m just going to the audience, you know, and be like, you know, are you go now How you do?

 

Louis Virtel On our new podcast.

 

Ira Madison III Are you guys all right? All right. Well, we’re going to kick it to a commercial, even though there is on a real commercial break. But, you know, we’ll be right back. We’re back. Keep it is brought to you by Amira Colostrum. We’re always on the lookout for ways to strengthen immunity. It’s like I’m a survivor player. You know, and improve our fitness and enhance our skin and hair radiance. And well, now we have an incredible product that tackles all three and more armor, colostrum, an ethically sourced bioactive whole food with thousands of benefits.

 

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Ira Madison III A stronger gut barrier also fends off toxins that can drive inflammation and slow down metabolism. Armor colostrum helps enhance nutrient absorption, stabilize blood sugar levels and modulate hormones like leptin that ignite your body’s fat burning capacity for your peak metabolic performance. So you want to support the outside as well as the end Colostrum bioactive have been shown to reactivate hair follicle stem cells, combat hair loss, enhance skin radiance and activate collagen production.

 

Louis Virtel We’ve worked out a special offer for our audience. Received 50% off your first order go to try armor.com/keep it or enter keep it to get 15% off your first order. That’s t r y a r m r a.com slash. Keep it. So you’ve written the book?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. As Heidi Montag said, congrats to everyone who’s written a book.

 

Louis Virtel She was so right for that.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, because she’s still trying to do it, right? Yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel She’s on, like, the table of contents.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel You know what? When you have a song like More is more, you don’t need anything beyond. I’m actually curious because reading the book, first of all, it’s just like interacting with you. So it’s like you’re in the room. Not that I’m constantly in rooms with you, so I don’t need more of that sensation, really. But I was actually curious what was hardest for you to write in this book, given that it is pop culture opinions that you would normally spew on the daily? There are personal stories in it. You talk about your family, etc. but what was actually a challenge for you and maybe something you didn’t expect to write about?

 

Ira Madison III Well, first of all, even writing the book was hard at first because I’ve written essays, obviously for media outlets. You name The Wall.

 

Louis Virtel Sure.

 

Ira Madison III Not all of them, actually. But no, I’ve done that before. But it’s been like a short form essay, you know? And when you’re writing an essay, especially when the way that I have or talking about things on the podcast. Right. You’re normally reacting to things. And I think this was my first time just not reacting to things. And because it wasn’t current pop culture news, you know, it’s not this just happened. What do you think about it? You know, and so it’s things that already have many opinions on the Internet. Totally. And I think maybe one of the hardest was writing about maybe Tom Cruise and Oprah in the book, because, as you know, I love Tom writes. And there’s.

 

Louis Virtel This very strange opinion you have that Tom Cruise is.

 

Ira Madison III Cool. Yes. And I think it was yeah, it was a little hard like getting into digging into that essay because it’s personal, but it’s also writing about the couch incident and writing about both of them as celebrities and just writing my thoughts about him. And obviously it was hard, you know, because it is not a podcast where you’re just saying shit and then like people hear it and then they forget about it is a book. Right. But you said Eddie. I had. Yes. And, you know, do I want a document of what I’ve said about Scientology just sitting around?

 

Louis Virtel I. That’s the thing. Like, I feel like no matter what I say on the podcast and this is a lie, I’m telling myself this is not the truth. People will forget or like, you’ll change your opinion eventually, or whatever.

 

Ira Madison III This book tour, you will remember a lot of weird things. yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Have you ever been confronted by, like, a celebrity or not?

 

Ira Madison III While a celebrity? Yes.

 

Louis Virtel I don’t know that I have.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, well.

 

Louis Virtel It’s. It’s actually intimidating.

 

Ira Madison III Well, they were. They were mad at both of us, but I’m not going to say who. But they are celebrity who was married. Okay. I don’t know longer. This is. And they did not like a joke that we made. You know it as we know them.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Okay. I’ll think.

 

Ira Madison III About it. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I actually still have to think about that. Strange.

 

Ira Madison III But I was confronted in San Francisco, by the way.

 

Louis Virtel Really?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. So on on during the audience Q&A and said, Do you still think San Francisco is. Here we go. Like waste of a city or something else. It was more colorful because obviously I said it, but that was years ago. You know, So you all remember everything? Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel But I would too, if there was an opinion I hated, I would quote it to that person nonstop.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. You know, I mean, it’s so interesting because, you know, my first thought was in Portland and the book is inspired by Chuck Klosterman Sex, Drugs and Coco Pops.

 

Louis Virtel And he was just on the tour with you.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, it surprised me on the tour. Thank you. You know, you could be louder with the.

 

Louis Virtel Real Full House audience. Check that out.

 

Ira Madison III Well, I want them to hear it when they listen back. Yeah. People who aren’t here, we’ll. We’ll put in a laugh track. Yeah. No, it was. It was interesting meeting him, obviously, because I’ve compared this is Lewis Bate. I’ve compared in interviews the book sort of to exile in Guyville because it’s in conversation with his book. So, you know, it’s like his is the Exile on Main Street by the Rolling Stones. I see your playful riff. Yeah, the Cannon thing. And I read a Rolling Stone from, like, the 2000s where Liz Phair met with Mick Jagger backstage at something. Someone introduced them and he was like something to the effect of like, you know, like you’re the girl. You know, like who’s done the album, You know, sort of like the vibe of I’m okay with like, letting you use our name. So I say, you know, sell your album. And that’s sort of like how I felt. So maybe that was one of the hardest things. It was how I felt with like, Is he ever going to write this? Is he ever going to have like a thought about it? And is he going to, like, tweet about it or be in an interview and be like or fuck him, you know? But he was very nice and it was great. And he had lovely things to say about the writing. But then, you know, going back to the opinion and remembering things, right, we played a game. A game tilted in my favor, obviously, but it was like, no, just because it was the game was. What do you remember about sex, drugs and cocoa parties? You know what it was like just so I could win, like a copy that he had signed. Which I would have loved to have. I did win it. But also, I’ve had one since 2004. Yeah. All right. I was at the line up, boy.

 

Louis Virtel I’ll be honest. Let’s take up a little bit of space. I don’t. I just don’t need that many.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. But he commented on that and was like. People read the book, people will ask him about it. But these are opinions that he had 29 years ago right now. And does he still even have those same pop culture opinions? And he was like even when he was on the tour, he didn’t agree with the things he had written in the book.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Well, of course. Yeah. No, I’m thinking about things I cared about in 2000 that I still care about now, which is all of the albums I still listen to. Actually, those I do, I do still listen to. Now that you’ve brought up Liz Phair, I have to say my younger brother turned 36 today and I said, I was like, Happy birthday, Mark. You are now the age of Liz Phair. Being told by Pitchfork that she’s too old to make a pop album. And he goes, Louis, I am too old to make a pop album. The Patriarchy, right in my own home anyway.

 

Ira Madison III Okay, tell that to Lady Gaga. I’m making mayhem. All right.

 

Louis Virtel I just want to say, well, that’s a difference between now and 20 years ago. Once upon a time, Madonna was the 40 something pop star. That was it. And now it’s like everybody has stuck around like that. Shakira from Laundry Service is still, you know, en vogue. And like, all these people think we just let celebrities continue. I don’t know what happened. I don’t think we’re smarter or cooler. I don’t know.

 

Ira Madison III Liz Phair was sitting in the front of the bus. Yes. Metaphorically.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. If you will. Fake.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I mean, she says that all the time about herself.

 

Ira Madison III The Rosa Parks of all the women in Pop. Yeah, I was thinking about that, though, too. I talked about it with Chuck, but it was a thing I mention in the book is just reflecting on the Pitchfork review, actually, of Liz Phair as album, which.

 

Louis Virtel Was on her self-titled. As you well know, she had the single Why Can’t Die was a big pop song, and Pitchfork gave it a 0.0. The writer of that article later apologized and said I was disrespectful of the fact that someone could move from rock to pop, basically.

 

Ira Madison III But it was the idea that back then, most of the gatekeepers in music and especially music criticism were like straight white men.

 

Louis Virtel You know, that seems crazy. It can’t be right.

 

Ira Madison III And for me, it was that was I’m not you. So the first time I got that right, for the first time, I discovered they can hear me like. I know. Yeah, It’s Boston. I got to say, it blends, right? And they’ve heard fagot on that street 20 times. And there was the idea that that was the first time I’d heard was fair hearing. Why can’t I? And when a date with Chad Hamilton soundtrack. Yes. You know, and so I.

 

Louis Virtel The people just burst into tears.

 

Ira Madison III When it.

 

Louis Virtel They admit that Hamilton.

 

Ira Madison III Just evolved. We love her. Yes. But that was my introduction to Liz Phair. And I loved her. And so I was like, hell yeah, I like this album. And then I went back to listen to her other stuff. So like for me, I didn’t have a problem with that album, and she didn’t seem too old to be making that album to me because, I mean, we’re older, so maybe sometimes we have those preconceived notions about people making something that feels like maybe it’s cringe or like you’re too old to be making this. But I was in high school and every pop star felt older to me. Yeah. You know, and even the ones who are our age didn’t seem my age because when you, you know, when we. Mandy Moore or whatever, right? When you when you realize like she’s our age or whatever. My you were our age making that music. Yeah right.

 

Louis Virtel Driving that green VW bug in the candy video when you were like nine years old. Disturbing. Another celebrity you write about in the book lovingly is Whoopi Goldberg. And I want to bring this up because I still feel like obviously she’s a noted Egot winner and is everywhere. But in a way it always feels like we still haven’t quite given her legend status because she’s too available to us. Yeah, And there’s this thing of like high, low celebrities where the ultimate example for me there’s too is Dionne Warwick, which is a towering vocalist, and yet also, of course, she’s on The Celebrity Apprentice and we don’t care.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel And then another person like that is Joan Rivers, who, if you asked like any comic now, is like, she’s like one of the definitive comedians about like, marvelous Mrs. Maisel is to a degree based on her whatever and then also is on The Celebrity Apprentice. And we don’t even care.

 

Ira Madison III I cared, by the way.

 

Louis Virtel I was there. Baby. Once upon a time I was a recap artist. That is a dog’s life hitting center. Michael Ausiello at 4 a.m.. Who? You guys should know that name, if you don’t mind. But why do you think we’re kind of like that arms length thing? The amount of respect we give to our do we are do you agree?

 

Ira Madison III Well, I mean, first of all, there’s an amazing profile of her that I believe was in The New York Times. Jasmine Hughes wrote it. So people should read that. But also so I want to ask you about this in an interview actually about writing like my reverence for what they. Goldberg And there they were, a younger writer and she was like, what? What do you do to reconcile her with the, you know, Cranky Who’s on The View? You know, with her bad takes all the time. And I was like, I don’t want I don’t want to live. You know, I watch The View at a certain time, but I’m not like watching it every day. And when she has a bad taste, it’s sort of like, okay, who cares? You know?

 

Louis Virtel I mean, just you come to expect in a loving way, bad takes from people.

 

Ira Madison III I feel.

 

Louis Virtel For. Yes, Right. You know, I can safely take bad takes. Yes. It’s like I don’t want to say junk food, but, you know, somewhere between wisdom and, you know, your aunt popping off and.

 

Ira Madison III You know.

 

Louis Virtel She’s an.

 

Ira Madison III Alcoholic. You know, we used to love bad takes. Everyone had bad takes. And you wouldn’t just get attacked for them online.

 

Louis Virtel Well, well, the deal is you would have the bad take. You would write it on the first iteration of Twitter and then we would find it seven years later. And then it turned out we did care.

 

Ira Madison III And cut us off, you know.

 

Louis Virtel And by the way, we did like a recap of like that whole scandal. I don’t think we got to like one eighth of the tweets or the or the apologies.

 

Ira Madison III Maybe she she was like, Charlie had Ock back. She thought he’s on and she was like, turn off the car. Yes. Christ, She was nasty.

 

Louis Virtel I know.

 

Ira Madison III And also, like, we’re never going to see her again.

 

Louis Virtel I know. I can’t picture. She was like a road trip picture with Gina Carano or something, which is, by the way, another dynamite reference.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. Well, because, unfortunately, you know, she’s trans, you know, which means that she’s not going to be in first of all, she was never in danger of winning. And now she’s not going to be embraced by the people that she, you know, wants to get in bed with. Unless she and Caitlyn Jenner, like, start their own simple life. Right. Which I would want to see.

 

Louis Virtel And she does have a.

 

Ira Madison III Lane, you know, off. Yeah. Yeah. Please let me be crisis PR. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel So we’re going to show about crisis PR that really satisfies that thing.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I mean, scandal.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, but I mean, like that. But like, not politics. I don’t know about that.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel We have a whole Tommy Vitter for that.

 

Ira Madison III No, but imagine, like Carla, Sophia Gascon. And it’s. It’s not funny. He’s saying Spanish words. Guys, bastard is racist. Imagine her and Caitlyn Jenner just, like, drive it across America. Yeah. You know, maybe a couple of people get hit by the car.

 

Louis Virtel There needs to be an episode turn. These is basic storyboarding.

 

Ira Madison III I think that’s fun. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I miss turning on E!

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. You know.

 

Louis Virtel Juliana Rancic, where are.

 

Ira Madison III You? Yeah. But in the Whoopi thing, you know, I like, I go through movie by movie, you know, like her iconic hit. And she was like, the moment at the time, you know, like she’s an Oscar winner. Yeah. Ghost.

 

Louis Virtel Two nominations.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel And it’s iconic Oscar host.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. You know, she she has all those accolades and, I mean, I feel like she thinks she’s fine, you know, because she’s on The View. Like she’s collect them dollars. Yeah. Collect them dollars. Dress like Katherine Hepburn in the garden. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But it is, you know, interesting. You know, how she’s just shifted into that and we don’t Revere her maybe the way that you should.

 

Louis Virtel I think the deal is she’s not that egotistical, and she’s not like, I’m not here to, like, rest on my laurels or, like, sit and get a Kennedy Center tribute. She’s like, let me let me read the cue cards. Who’s on the show today? Mandy Moore. Okay, I’m going home. You know, I mean.

 

Ira Madison III I know one of the last things I remember her being in was Xanadu on Broadway, right? Yeah. Which we have in New York. Do you have a Broadway here? So she just added you. And I remember I’d probably mention this on the show before, you know, but there’s a high note she’s supposed to hit in the song Evil Woman. And she did sort of the arm and she.

 

Louis Virtel Got a ladder.

 

Ira Madison III Well, so she she you know, she did. She did the arm. Who was the queen on Drag race. We did the white the job like there were about to go into a split with them didn’t.

 

Louis Virtel is.

 

Ira Madison III It Monet. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She did that with the note. Basically, she’s about to hit the high note. Then she went, like. Not like. Yeah, it was hilarious. And I’m like, you know, theater actor too. So I think she’s she’s probably due for a renaissance that has nothing to do with The View. But yeah, I don’t know. This is the Renaissance. I wrote it.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Got it.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel No, I believe you mentioned Oprah earlier and I want to talk about this is a thing from the 2000 that’s not on our list. Do we have time for this? I can, of course. Yeah. Okay, great. Oprah’s Legends ball. If you don’t know what this is, was a big, like, banquet she had with every black woman celebrity.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel We have never had a summit like this. The politics of it, you talk about it in the book a little bit in regards to is it happening around the time at the time cruise incident?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel But what is your favorite thing from this gigantic, strange pop cultural moment that I feel like has only lasting impact among Stans like us who remember everything?

 

Ira Madison III Well, I think what I love is the the anecdote that I mentioned in the book that happens when Tom Cruise comes to Oprah, you know, is the literal definition of somebody invited to the cookout because Oprah.

 

Louis Virtel Started.

 

Ira Madison III There, right? Because because Oprah was like, Tom, you came to the Legends Ball and basically is just describing him as like cut, not with everybody. And like every black celebrity, there was like, we you love Tom Cruise.

 

Louis Virtel You think like Leontyne Price was like, I loved Cocktail.

 

Ira Madison III I mean, probably. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel But my take away sorry, I meant to ask this to myself. Holly Barry and mispronounced Leontyne Price his name. Excuse me. They should have had a dialect coach beforehand going through everybody. She’s still with us, by the way. She’s like, 97 years old and lives in Delaware.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I met a friend of hers who told me that.

 

Ira Madison III Which. Okay, here’s some inside baseball for Keep It. Do you remember an old actress who we were supposed to have booked for the show and died before they could? Come on.

 

Louis Virtel I know who you’re talking about. Do they.

 

Ira Madison III Know now?

 

Louis Virtel Can you guess.

 

Ira Madison III That? Amazing. Yeah. So excited.

 

Louis Virtel Somebody said it. Cicely Tyson. Yes.

 

Ira Madison III She was booked for her memoir, but then she booked it to heaven to have it. She. Baby, she’s having a lot more fun out there. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel She heard a sounder and.

 

Ira Madison III Moved up north. She took the trip. Beautiful. Yeah. There’s nobody down here. My God. Tariffs.

 

Louis Virtel My God. By the way, if you’ve not had the experience of watching an extremely old person in a show, we both saw Cicely Tyson in the trip to Bountiful, which comes up in the book in a different context. Because what? Goldberg lost the Oscar for The Color Purple to Geraldine Page and the Trip to Bountiful in 1985. That is, of course, a play by Horton Foote. Anyway, the play still exists. Cicely Tyson performed in it, and you can just hear the earpiece going off with each.

 

Ira Madison III Line.

 

Louis Virtel And like it’s really emotional lines too. But she like she nailed that. She did win a Tony for.

 

Ira Madison III It, of course. I mean, that’s not she’s not as old essentially was. But you know but I feel like last year I saw Sarah Paulson’s lover. Holland Taylor on Keep it Faithfully. Sorry. A lovely guest. No, but I saw her in that AOC play. They called in a it was about Nancy Pelosi, and AOC was actually kind of good. Look, I will say, though, the film’s about the audience for it. The audience, you know, it’s about them going back and forth, you know, and like obviously two opposing views and like, where do they get that audience? Let me tell you, they seem like they would have shot Nancy, not Nancy. AOC really? Like her opinions? Yeah, It was a very, like leaning towards Nancy’s like, side of you. Audience Yeah, I didn’t.

 

Louis Virtel Know we still did that.

 

Ira Madison III Okay, well, it’s an older audience. Yeah, you know?

 

Louis Virtel Right, right, right. Also, congrats on going to that play.

 

Ira Madison III All right, I, I go see everything, baby.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. No, that’s true. Yeah. I have to say, the number one thing we have in common is I can’t really stump you on anything like you really like if somebody even mentions a movie, you go and see it immediately. Like you can’t stand not knowing about something. When do you think was the moment you became like a master of just knowing all movies, all music? What was like your big moment where you had done so much?

 

Ira Madison III I. It has to be with the podcast. Yeah. I mean, I think that we’re on, you know, and we have to be ready to go.

 

Louis Virtel I hate not knowing about something. And truly I’m like, I’m only on this planet. Like, it’s a shame that Wikipedia exists because. Because I was supposed to do that.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. You know, that’s the only reason he read my book. He hated not knowing what was in it. Yeah, that’s right. Was he in it? You’re right, by the way. Not this one.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Right. Coming soon, I’m sure.

 

Ira Madison III Yes.

 

Louis Virtel All right. That’ll be the erotic nonfiction contest.

 

Ira Madison III I’m going to do a more Madonna erotica. Just. Boy.

 

Louis Virtel My God. That’s a good episode. What if we do a sex book?

 

Ira Madison III Who’s in it? Yeah. Well.

 

Louis Virtel You started writing. Big Daddy came.

 

Ira Madison III Wow. Yeah. You seen his Instagram? Your other one is going to do it. Yeah. Moving on. Yes. All right. We’re moving on to commercial. We’ll be right back. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you’re just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. Engage with your audience. And so anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms.

 

Louis Virtel Now, introducing design intelligence from Squarespace, combining two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. Design intelligence empowers anyone to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to their unique needs and craft a bespoke digital identity to use across one’s entire online presence. Squarespace payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more way to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna ACH direct debit Apple Pay, Afterpay and Clear Pay.

 

Ira Madison III You can connect major social and multimedia accounts to your website in a few clicks, as I did with IRA madison.com. I love Squarespace.

 

Louis Virtel My homepage.

 

Ira Madison III You can do that as icons, direct links or embedded feeds. Build visitor trust while updating content only where you need it. Extending your Brand’s footprint. Sellers can also sync their product catalog directly with Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and Google to reach more customers and reduce the steps. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you’re ready to launch, go to square Space.com slash keep it to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That’s squarespace.com slash. Keep it. Inspired by the nostalgic retellings in pure Innocent Fun on sale. Now that’s for the listeners who don’t have the book. And our shared love for all things twins. Lewis and I are going to count down the ten most monumental moments of this iconic decade. Think Britney, Y2K, and probably somehow the Carpenters, because where there’s a Louis, there’s a way.

 

Louis Virtel She died in 83.

 

Ira Madison III And yet watch me keep in mind, you know, this is a monumental moment. So, you know, it’s not like.

 

Louis Virtel All positive.

 

Ira Madison III Necessarily. Yeah. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, we did. We did a little yin and yang. You’ll see what happened. Yeah. Okay. I’m going to start with number ten, because this is sort of an essay question because I believe everybody in this room pertains to one of the five people here. Number ten is the 2006 best actress race. Let me just read the nominees to you and you think in your heads and your seats silently, what am I, Helen Mirren in the Queen, Penelope Cruz and the sophisticated Judi Dench in Notes on a Scandal, Kate Winslet in Little Children or Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.

 

Ira Madison III IRA.

 

Louis Virtel Since you enjoy pure, innocent fun, play this game, which of the five are you?

 

Ira Madison III Okay. Now, you know, I’m out of as my favorite director. Okay. But it has.

 

Louis Virtel Nothing to do with the question.

 

Ira Madison III I know, but I’m thinking about. Go. Okay. Yes. You know, a little known fact about both their color. Sophia Gascon is in it. And an uncredited cameo. Okay, go rewatch it. I promise you that she’s. But she’s the body in the fridge. Okay. Honestly, this is hard, you know, because I feel like I have some. Right. Meryl Streep and Devil Wears Prada qualities. But you.

 

Louis Virtel Go.

 

Ira Madison III Agreeing. But, I mean, Julie doesn’t always count. That’s why. I guess that’s why I pick Jen. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Because she’s bookish.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Bookish. You know, snaps of people. Yeah. Falling in love with the wrong person. Yeah. You know, spilling the tea. Quite. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Screaming at your crushes. Husband.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. In part.

 

Louis Virtel I am definitely Kate Winslet in Little Children, because I am from the sinister suburbs. I know all about sex on a dryer. And any time Jennifer Connelly’s long, straight hair is involved, I want to be watching that movie.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. How does she do it? I’m definitely here because you. I kept thinking about Penelope involved. You know, like, I am not doing, like, a little makeshift restaurant to make money. No, no, no, of course not. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I think we both aspire to be kind of like Meryl, but nothing about us is aloof. Unfortunately, if we meet anybody on the street where, like, I can name all the Grammy winners of the past 25 years. And that’s our, like, vaudeville.

 

Ira Madison III Helen Mirren. Not her. No.

 

Louis Virtel She she stopped a victory with that. And I think I mean, like, she’s good in that movie and I like that movie. But I think it was a resemblance thing.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I mean, she’s way better in movies like The Madness of King George.

 

Ira Madison III Or she didn’t need it. No. Yeah. Who should have won?

 

Louis Virtel Okay, well, I didn’t know I was gonna get the hardest question of my life. I’m going to go with, actually, Meryl. As a comic performance, I think I would have given it to her.

 

Ira Madison III Said we’re still talking about it. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Also, it’s a role that was definitely never meant to be that good.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel You know what I mean? The level of sauce, she added to it. And also, just like she wasn’t my boss and it feels like she was my boss. Like I’m still scared.

 

Ira Madison III About, you know, if you want to see, you know, what the role was probably going to end up being, you know, there’s the musical version that’s on the West End. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Rex Reed, A View.

 

Ira Madison III Michael Musto. Yeah, not good.

 

Louis Virtel All right. Number nine, we’re back in award shows because that’s where.

 

Ira Madison III Well, hold on, Louis. Yes, I’ll let you finish. But Beyonce, I have the greatest video of all time. Yes. Of all time. Number nine, is Kanye interrupting the VMAs?

 

Louis Virtel And we had to bring it up because it was the last time he was right?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel It is one of the best videos of all time. Important to mark that moment?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Like I’m, you know, you know, I’m iffy on the song at this point. Mostly, you know, because it was for, you know, the white people. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel We’re talking about single anyways.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, but the video is amazing. I love.

 

Louis Virtel It. And a toast to Gwen Vernon.

 

Ira Madison III But, you know.

 

Louis Virtel I don’t know. It’s a funny.

 

Ira Madison III Thing.

 

Louis Virtel It’s like the same choreography from Mexican breakfast at a number that Gwen Verdon did, choreographed by Bob Fosse. Then, you know, Beyonce. Beyonce offered it, and now it’s what it is.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Also just the grace scale of the video. Like, it’s just like it’s like they made one color choice and it was instantly a word I honestly can’t stand. Iconic. Plenty of things are iconic that are bad. The Hindenburg is iconic. We can’t stop using this as a compliment.

 

Ira Madison III Sure. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Also, you know what I’ll say about the on the Kanye moment. So it was just the right amount of an out of control awards moment where the camera caught up and so everything was in frame. Nobody was really in danger. But there was a moment of am I dreaming? Followed by Rewind that right?

 

Ira Madison III And it was that perfect, you know, sort of pop culture moment where it was sort of like the slot, right, where every celebrity got to get online after and say, I hate Kanye was pink, famously Obama, even just like they were mad as hell.

 

Louis Virtel Unfortunately, one of the funniest tweets ever. You know what I’m about to bring out Judd Apatow after the slap. Yes. Thank you, audience.

 

Ira Madison III Someone could have died. He could have gone for one. He could have killed Jon. And just like the slap, I do wonder if people who tweeted in favor of Taylor that night, knowing what they know now about her and having endured, like the Arias tour for the past decade. Yes. If they believe that he was right. Interesting. Yeah. I wonder.

 

Louis Virtel Also. Yeah. That the air is too turned into, like, Blue Man group. Just like a 25 year long.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, we’re.

 

Louis Virtel Still in it.

 

Ira Madison III And. And now I feel like because, you know, I do enjoy myself. I.

 

Louis Virtel That’s your reflection?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Is it contagious? Should I move?

 

Ira Madison III Well, you haven’t caught it. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I like your fine, fearless era. Of course. Yes.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, I think she’s right. The worldwide celebrity again where I need her to be. You know, apparently she’s been at the games, right? And they’re going to the Super Bowl. I have no idea what’s going on there. No. There are people who watch football who are seeing her every week, but not I.

 

Louis Virtel I feel like certain mysteries of the universe will be revealed to me when I die. And if someone told me, it’s like when I’m at the Pearly gates. Actually, every football game we watch, we change the rules totally every time. I would totally believe it on my good work. There’s not one person on the show.

 

Ira Madison III We created this list, by the way, by, you know, merging, like because we both made our top ten. So, you know, and one of mine that did not make it was on we’re on the same, you know, theme in from beyond say I put the crazy in love video the video. Yeah yeah I like the moment too.

 

Louis Virtel I feel like I would as her 2000s moment if I’m going on song alone I would maybe go deja vu.

 

Ira Madison III Okay. Number eight.

 

Louis Virtel Number eight. Any time in history, this is applied as a general feeling, a prevailing gestalt. I’m not here to make friends. You’re a twins phenomenon of reality TV.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Because, by the way, I believe that anyone on AT&T, who’s like, like I. These people aren’t people to me. I’m just here to win. Sociopaths came to the fore in such a fun way.

 

Ira Madison III Which is so weird because now I would buy that people do go on reality shows to make friends. Right. Right. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel As you know, we’re in a pandemic of loneliness.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Right. But no, I. When you think about that, you think of Survivor, you think of some.

 

Louis Virtel Project Runway, which I think is the greatest reality show of the 2000. I always say, well, again, people who would be one character on the real world, the gay guy who makes those comments and can, you know, so a jumpsuit that would always be one person on any show before and then suddenly it was nine people. So it was like a hydra formed from that one guy.

 

Ira Madison III Well, so one of the takes that Chuck’s delivery work was from Sex, Drugs and Go-Go Parts was a hatred of the real world. Just because the first couple of seasons were real people interacting. Right. And then people sort of realized once you distill your personality to one fact. Yes. One thing about you, that’s how you were successful on that show and that people then watching this show started acting that way.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Just in real life.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Just in real life. Like I’m the activist. I’m the whore.

 

Louis Virtel This is very queen of Jordan 30 Rock. They really distilled something.

 

Ira Madison III When you meet people like that, you know?

 

Louis Virtel Totally.

 

Ira Madison III No need to transfer to, like, housewives.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Which you fucking.

 

Ira Madison III Watch. Yeah. Someone asked me. Thank you.

 

Louis Virtel Someone asked if you guys support him a little bit. I mean, just not on the go.

 

Ira Madison III Had someone else.

 

Louis Virtel I’m like, we can’t. Our brains can’t handle it.

 

Ira Madison III Someone asked me regularly, twice, and they said, What’s it going to take to get Louis to watch the Housewives?

 

Louis Virtel I’m too busy watching the arts.

 

Ira Madison III I’m sorry. I said.

 

Louis Virtel And some of that, too. Also, there’s I guess this wouldn’t really pertain to American Idol, but I want to say something about American Idol.

 

Ira Madison III Some people, they’re not to make friends.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, I know. I mean, but like, they would never put on friendliness on camera, really. You know, American Idol that we had that huge of an institution to make 16 year olds learn the songs that Burt Bacharach. Whose idea was that? And then it was, like, huge. And then we, like, would watch, like, somebody dressed like Avril Lavigne singing Anyone Who Had a heart. It’s so.

 

Ira Madison III Insane. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel The amount of belly jewelry at the beginning. Ryan Star, if you’re here, we speak your name.

 

Ira Madison III But that is also something that I touch on, just the idea that we had so many cultural touchstones that introduced us to things that we didn’t care about or didn’t know about. You know, like you were forced to learn Burt Bacharach songs because you were watching American Idol. If you were watching MTV to see, you know, the boys behind video, you had to watch a bunch of other things. There are my friend of mine, like it was a deejay, played prodigy to like, smack my bitch up at a party recently. It’s almost like when they sing video. Yeah. Meanwhile, we saw it on MTV all the time. And then with like, pop up videos, we were always constantly being told this was like a band video, you know? Right. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel And then they would play band videos and such. It was the tricking us.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. It’s like when your book gets bad and then you just go on talk shows, you know, like my book is bands, you know, and Albuquerque are, you know, Alabama City and, you know, cities and then, you know, and then the price goes up. What I’m saying is my book has been banned now. Okay, noted. Yeah. Actually, I saw a new executive order that Trump signed that said, no. IRA Ira’s book. Sure. And I said, fine. And it was banned.

 

Louis Virtel Not even your last name?

 

Ira Madison III No. Yeah. Yeah, it’s banned. So everyone should, like, you know, go out and get the rights.

 

Louis Virtel That’s so important.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I love when you speak to the moment.

 

Ira Madison III Thank you. Yes, thank you.

 

Louis Virtel I think number seven, I’m talking about a specific thing that I find so hilarious now that I think we did find genuinely insulting at the time, which is not Brokeback Mountain, which we love, but celebrities calling Jake and Heath brave for being in the movie. And I am talking about you, Madonna. Madonna, who is on a 20 year LGBT like Pride float career being Mike Wolf. Can you believe he like, undid his genes for that other guy? Wolfe Zany.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel First of all, it’s like off camera, basically, if there’s like, not much like, actual gay sex in the movie.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, well, you know, they were being publicly, you know, perceived as gay, you know, and like, that’s a that’s a hard thing to do, you know, like, she’s she’s she’s friends with Baszler, right?

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Tough, Tough.

 

Ira Madison III Some of you got that? No.

 

Louis Virtel A movie that I actually now find a little bit underrated, even though people defend it as what should have won the best picture ever crash that year, of course. But it’s one of the few very mainstream meaning like epic movies. That to me is poetic. I just like I like Nomadland had a little bit of that in it for me. And I feel like film people hate Nomadland now, like don’t like it as an Oscars win. Really? Yeah. Yay or nay on Nomadland. Thank you. Good. I thought it was like. Like the Oscars. have have some taste.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah but you still order from Amazon.

 

Louis Virtel You didn’t learn the lesson of Nomadland.

 

Ira Madison III They killed her.

 

Louis Virtel Were they were there lessons in that movie?

 

Ira Madison III Did she die? I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t know. Nice lady. Yeah. A lot happened in that movie. She was, like, in an RV, right? Yeah. Yeah, The Mystery Machine.

 

Louis Virtel You know what I do think is say about Frances McDormand? She only wins the Oscar when it’s a lead show that she won for Fargo, Nomadland And that other movie. We had Three Billboards. Yeah. But then all her supporting one, she’s like, you know, give it to Marcia Gay Harden.

 

Ira Madison III Because she’s like, I don’t.

 

Louis Virtel Want that shit.

 

Ira Madison III You should. We like, reevaluate Three Billboards?

 

Louis Virtel I guess. Do people love it?

 

Ira Madison III See who loves it? Yeah, right. People on the front.

 

Louis Virtel It just like it was so advertised as like, you won’t believe the crazy twists and then the crazy twists where this guy’s kind of racist.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, Yeah. Because, I mean, I like Martin McDonagh a lot.

 

Louis Virtel I love Banshees of Finnish. Aaron. Yeah. By the way, what are we doing with Kerry Condon? Gorgeous girl. I loved her in that movie.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I don’t know, like we could. I’m going to rewatch it. Okay. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Well, we could introduce a little rewatch segment on our show that we aren’t just rewatching shit all the time anyway.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, it would.

 

Louis Virtel Be a useful use of our time for once.

 

Ira Madison III Number six. Brangelina. Who? Dishonorable. Well, take everyone. Take your smart water and get out. We are not Brad and Jennifer Aniston. Okay. I think you. When I said, Come on, bitch, you see where Brad at? Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I assume they were booing the Brad component.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel But I do have to say, the. The mystique of Brangelina was so large that it took us 15 extra years to realize Angelina has been into good movies.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. It’s unfortunate. Right. I actually. That’s iconic. Yes. Real definition of the word. That’s like she is. That’s what you couldn’t make stars, you know, based on being hot. Being from People magazine. Agreed. Oversize sunglasses. A relationship? Yeah. You know, is it not happened for Ana de Armas? No. Right. True. So you can’t manufacture stardom from a relationship anymore?

 

Louis Virtel God, That really is depressing. Or a good.

 

Ira Madison III Thing. It’s like this was all we were talking about. Right.

 

Louis Virtel I was a little sad. She fell out of the Oscars conversation this year, even though the movie Maria was her walking around. She’s like she’s like, I used to be a good singer.

 

Ira Madison III I’m sad.

 

Louis Virtel Let me lip.

 

Ira Madison III Sync for you. So did the Oscar result, too?

 

Louis Virtel God. Unfortunately, you have to write that mirror.

 

Ira Madison III No, I’ve already decided that I’m going to be the tech guy. You know, very.

 

Louis Virtel You’re insulting.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, very. Well, I just got to be. You know, the streets are asking for. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel You’re jumping from the cameo on that show, you two star of an Angelina Jolie thriller.

 

Ira Madison III I think I am like the Zosia. Mamet is Madame Web. I talked to her primary credit. Yeah. So you’re Angelina, you know, rushing around. Get it? Yes.

 

Louis Virtel I have to give Madame Web credit. That holds the record for most sullen actresses in one movie, and they rarely put them together. Yeah, because you had Dakota Johnson.

 

Ira Madison III Adam Scott. Yes. What a lady.

 

Louis Virtel He is such an r.E.M.

 

Ira Madison III Stand. Yeah. Really?

 

Louis Virtel Like some gay crowd for him. And I also. He’s been on the podcast. Okay. Anyway, Dakota Johnson.

 

Ira Madison III Zosia Mamet. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Who else? There’s two other girls.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Sydney Sweeney. My God. Remember?

 

Ira Madison III Remember her? Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel And then she was in that movie. Anyone about you at a place or anyone but you in a place called Sydney?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Did they do that on purpose? Were they being cute with us?

 

Ira Madison III And then she was in the nun movie. I hated that movie. Yeah. But it was a gag, though.

 

Louis Virtel Right? But it was, like. Right. I’ve seen Rosemary’s Baby.

 

Ira Madison III Go ahead. Yeah. I don’t know. I think that one was. I don’t know.

 

Louis Virtel I was just say, I’m glad we put all the silent act together, and.

 

Ira Madison III I saw two. So. Yeah. Imagine she’s doing all this shit, and I’m like, Girl, you got to get out of this building. You know, like that person in the movie? Yeah. So more, more active, you know, than that. But no, actually, you know, probably like Simon Pegg in the Mission movies, giving that to her. And then at the end I’m in the helicopter that like Pixar, I.

 

Louis Virtel I love that sensation of an actor. They added in reshoots.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah, go that way, Angelina. Okay. What do you think? You know what? I’m going to what do you think her definitive movie role is?

 

Louis Virtel Angelina Jolie? I believe so. Well, James Mangold is having a renaissance right now thanks to a complete unknown. And I have to say that I think his best work is still girl interrupted. But maybe that’s just because I have a thing for Alison Bechdel here.

 

Ira Madison III You know, I’m going to say a very underrated film of hers. Speaking of someone else who’s having a renaissance. I don’t think the girls have seen those who wish me dead.

 

Louis Virtel I haven’t seen.

 

Ira Madison III It. And they need to because you know who did that movie? Taylor Sheridan, our king of Lioness. Yellowstone land, man.

 

Louis Virtel You know, when you said our king. Our command better have been the royal we.

 

Ira Madison III Okay, first of all. Raise your hand if you seen if you seen Yellowstone. It’s Boston, ya know, once. Yellowstone. Okay. I know you hate the West.

 

Louis Virtel He did? Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Okay. Lioness. Okay. Nicole Kidman. Fake Nicole Kidman stands here. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel He said when he did Wind River, which was good.

 

Ira Madison III When River? Yeah, like he’s great. Yeah. Yeah. Like he’s like he. We. He’s my new Ryan Murphy. Okay. I’m tired of supporting Ryan. Yeah. Yeah. No, I.

 

Louis Virtel Taylor, I still think he should do if there’s a Madonna biopic. I think he would. I think he should do it. Which is, I don’t know about unpopular opinion, but he’s like, he’s got gay stand energy. That’s what makes me nervous about him. You know, he secretly knows everything.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, I’m scared. She’s besties with him. Like best. Like, might direct it. I’m not. I wouldn’t hate that either. I loved Elvis.

 

Louis Virtel I actually think he’s not made a single good movie, but. Okay.

 

Ira Madison III All right. Well, I read about more on Rosenberg, which I love. Anyway, when we’re back, the rest of the 2000s.

 

Louis Virtel And keep it is brought to you by acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids, and your retirement. You don’t need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. You don’t need to be rich. Acorns lets you invest with the spare money you’ve got right now. You can start with $5 or even just your spare change, which should add up to $5. If you’ve got some change lying around. I’m just saying. In just five minutes, you can start your acorns account and get small, simple steps to get you and your money on track. Acorns does the hard part so you can give your money a chance to grow.

 

Ira Madison III Every time I’m playing Monopoly, I’m always thinking I should invest like Uncle Penny bags, but I don’t know how to do it. And then once I got acorns, it just invest the money for me. And so I love acorns.

 

Louis Virtel I always was blown away. His name is Rich Uncle Penny Banks. And I was like, Is that a pun? Is his name rich? And then uncle’s his middle name. We’ll never know. I find him.

 

Ira Madison III Elusive. Well, head to acorns.com slash. Keep it or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Payton on Client Investment compensation provides incentive to positively promote acorns to Year one compensation project. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors, LLC and SEC Registered Investment Advisor disclosures at acorns.com/give it. We are back with the 2000.

 

Louis Virtel All right.

 

Ira Madison III They loved the 2000, I guess.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. We’re going to start with one that I don’t know about. Makes my skin crawl. Actually, I just feel bad about it. Ashlee Simpson on SNL.

 

Ira Madison III Doing the Jig well introduced by Jude Law.

 

Louis Virtel And then they just went right to commercial. That is one of the craziest, strangest SNL moments ever. Also, I have to say, I’m sad because the album that came afterwards I thought was better, which was called Of Course I Am Me.

 

Ira Madison III Great album because it was sad. To be honest, I don’t necessarily. World is great. Okay. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I saw her in Chicago at the Hollywood Bowl where she did well and was poor performing opposite Drew Carey, who was, of course, in it.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel He’s actually great on The Price Is Right.

 

Ira Madison III You know what’s so funny, too? It’s that I was rewatching this clip, Ashlee Simpson, because you remember she had a TV show. Of.

 

Louis Virtel Course. I’m a human.

 

Ira Madison III Being. Yeah. The better TV show, too. Yes. Jessica Simpson’s, which only had the the tune, you know, but because, like, no one was, like, really like pop and off of that show in Milwaukee. I worked at Summer Fest where they because they did a joint tour at one point, Jessica and Nicholas Ray The Newlyweds tour. Yes. They sang both of their songs. Nothing but the songs that they both have not like to argue, but I’m about to be married. So let’s ticket it like inside the amphitheater. And, like, you have to have an extra ticket to, like, get in. You get. Just getting in the summer fest doesn’t mean you can get in. Yeah. It was not packed. And we were told if anybody comes up, just let them come in from.

 

Louis Virtel Like, the goblins walking up and.

 

Ira Madison III Stuff.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, that is just too bad.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. But Ashley, on the other hand, my girl. And in the clip she is, she’s being told by like, her manager or whatever or the label that they want her to be more edgy. And they say we need to be more edgy, like Hilary Duff. No way. He’s like, I don’t want to be Hilary Duff, but I’m like, witnessing what he does. Edgy at this. By the way, this is pre the Gossip Girl threesome right.

 

Louis Virtel And and pre even like her hard dance pop tour about that song stranger That was in 2000. What on earth did you do that with Gigi.

 

Ira Madison III When she put the bindi on? Yeah. That’s a song called Gypsy Woman, too. She was carrying on that album.

 

Louis Virtel It’s great. There should be a Wikipedia pop star to try to be in there, because, you know, I’m thinking of Gwen Stefani.

 

Ira Madison III I’m thinking of Selena Gomez. Come and get it at that Nflx halftime show. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I’m sure there’s more. Probably Madonna’s page on it seven times.

 

Ira Madison III But I was like a big Ashlee Simpson stare, you know?

 

Louis Virtel Also, I just remember it was, like, almost unacceptable to not be a fan for a while. She was very, like, this generational. Like if you were 18, then she tapped into angst, even in a way better than Avril did. I can’t explain it to people. It was I mean, I think the deal is all of the singles were really good. And by the way, where is Karen DioGuardi, the songwriter of Pieces of Me and Walk Away by Kelly.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, please.

 

Louis Virtel I think about her on American Idol all the time, where she had to replace Paula Abdul. And they’re like, We want someone more professional seeming. Who? Whatever. It seems like she’s on her feet. And then they kicked off Paula, and they said, Could you be a little crazier?

 

Ira Madison III They want. I was just here for the music rights.

 

Louis Virtel It’s such a good song. It’s such a good song.

 

Ira Madison III Original Kylie demo. I know. I listen to it on SoundCloud every other week. I have one last thing to say about the SNL. I think that the first like that came out of like the DJing was contagious because you know. Jude Law. Yes. Host That episode, right. You know what happened him next year. Go ahead. That was the apologizing for having the affair with the nanny.

 

Louis Virtel You believe it began with the literal jig?

 

Ira Madison III She did? Yeah. It’s like Final destination. It follows like, the jig. It’s followed like so many celebrities. Who’s it on now? Call us. Got.

 

Louis Virtel And your opinion? The jig is never up.

 

Ira Madison III No, no. It’s a baby. And you see the twins? She was getting jiggy with it. Okay. Apologies. Apologies.

 

Louis Virtel All right. We’re back in award shows.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Number four is we could just pick one. So it’s just Britney at the VMAs. Right.

 

Louis Virtel And I do want to throw in Gaga paparazzi at this point, too, said.

 

Ira Madison III Britney at the VMAs. Okay. Moving on. Gaga. Gaga, doing paparazzi was number nine. Because if you recall the on the Let you Finish Salmon debut. All right. All right. That’s fair.

 

Louis Virtel You argued your way out of that eloquently for once.

 

Ira Madison III So we’ve got first of all. 2000. You know, the oops, I did it to get money. Yes, that is the stripping. Beautiful.

 

Louis Virtel Well, again, one of my favorite award show outfits of all time. I always say this is a an outfit reflective of the strife of the year 2000 because she is in a nude bodysuit, but it is.

 

Ira Madison III Bootcut. So the illusion disturbs the.

 

Louis Virtel I know you saw it. It’s sort of a miniature vibe. By the end.

 

Ira Madison III You rewatch that performance and you’re sort of like the choreography in like the early 2000s was was something.

 

Louis Virtel It was so it was very jock jams.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Just like slamming the. Yeah, yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Not very A four hour energy.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. The 2001 slave for you, the snake, the look.

 

Louis Virtel Anybody in Peter? No. Okay.

 

Ira Madison III Bananas to arrive. Know he’s sick, baby. He’s living it up.

 

Louis Virtel You think so, John?

 

Ira Madison III Love it.

 

Louis Virtel Answer yeah. It’s like a Dr. Doolittle situation there. It’s like Neverland.

 

Ira Madison III Ranch. There’s like.

 

Louis Virtel There’s like baboons on roller coasters.

 

Ira Madison III 2003. Me, I get some music with Madonna.

 

Louis Virtel Well, let me tell you something. I remember being a Madonna stand in that year and every other year. Yeah. And I want you. I want you to know I’m in physical pain from it. It’s a chronic illness. But at the time, I thought that was the lowest thing Madonna had ever done. I remember I remember thinking at the time. I mean, I know very little did I know every year that would pass. Only Nicki Minaj fans know the stripes.

 

Ira Madison III Only Nicki Minaj dance.

 

Louis Virtel But like it was the explanation afterwards I found so dumb. She was like it was about passing on my energy to them. Kabbalah just doesn’t take with me, you know what I’m saying?

 

Ira Madison III The worst thing about that was that the cameraman had to focus on Justin Timberlake’s reaction to it. So we didn’t even see the Christina part.

 

Louis Virtel No. And she was in her. I have the blackest hair ever possible.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. It was.

 

Louis Virtel Like dipped into tar and a super.

 

Ira Madison III Full blood bath. Equal. Yes. You know, if you recall infatuation. Yes. Of course. Yeah. She was leaning into. I’m Latina. Yes, of course. So let me reflect how she learned the lyrics phonetically.

 

Louis Virtel Did she really?

 

Ira Madison III She speaks less Spanish than J-Lo.

 

Louis Virtel That’s a world record for the least. Spanish?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. She couldn’t even kiss the spider woman. It would repel her. Yeah, but also, one of the things that you would pick to that didn’t make the list was Madonna’s confessions on the dance floor, which was mega for, you know, homosexuals and the 2005 rates.

 

Louis Virtel Well, I always say that Madonna’s phases have a tendency to be to look more amazing in retrospect, because you’re always kind of worried every time she picks a new thing that you’re stuck with it forever. You’re like, God, her is just Mad Max, who she is now. And then like five years later when she’s not wearing the eyepatch anymore, you’re like, that was a fun Halloween costume.

 

Ira Madison III I wouldn’t mind if my dollar came back.

 

Louis Virtel I always call her a rapper Actress. Madonna.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. We got wait, I did this at I was discussing this at an after recently. You remember the hard candy gems.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. She danced everywhere and they promptly like. Like Spirit. Halloween stores stay open longer than this.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. Okay so she open hard Candy Fitness, which was a cool venture with the owners of 24 hour Fitness and the we had centers in Berlin. There were eight of them there. Mexico City, Moscow, Rome, Santiago, Saint Petersburg and Sydney. Now some of them. Are still around. Really? The two in Milan were rebranded in 2018. The one in Firth, Germany, is still open. All right.

 

Louis Virtel The candy remains hard.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. The one in Toronto. Closed. Rome. Still open slate. Berlin closed in 2016. Hillary lost and they said, You’re right. It’s over. They’re expecting Trump to go there and work out. Rome is still open. Okay. There’s another one in Rome. Also, the.

 

Louis Virtel The choices. It’s like we wanted Carmen San Diego to have crazy quads.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. There’s one open in Sydney.

 

Louis Virtel Which I’ve never been to. That’s sort of my next big venture. I hope.

 

Ira Madison III So. Yeah. Chile that rebranded in 2019. Are you really.

 

Louis Virtel Going through all.

 

Ira Madison III Of them? There’s only three more. Okay. The ones in Moscow and St Petersburg closed in 2017 and 2018. And then the Mexico City one has to be Brennan’s. Where? 19. My God. We still are out. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel I still have my shot.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel A treadmill or.

 

Ira Madison III Whatever. You haven’t been to one. I think, like as a Madonna stand, you’ve got to go.

 

Louis Virtel I don’t hate that. For me. Yeah. All right. All right. So you’ll pay for that. Okay, great. All right. So Britney at the VMAs.

 

Ira Madison III It’s very you. This is about to be a fight, okay?

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Between two different Oscar speeches. We’re going to fight and pick the better of them. You’re going with Halle Berry for Monster’s Ball?

 

Ira Madison III Yes. Her win is my pick for number three. Okay. Is this the first black woman to win.

 

Louis Virtel A best actress.

 

Ira Madison III Oscar?

 

Louis Virtel And so many have won since then. I’m kidding.

 

Ira Madison III Sure.

 

Louis Virtel And mine is Marion Cotillard for La Vie en Rose, where she literally thanked life and love.

 

Ira Madison III Thank you. Thank you.

 

Louis Virtel Imagine being so reduced to your ID that, like nouns and adverbs are just like, in the wrong order. You also speak French, so this is crazy.

 

Ira Madison III That you.

 

Louis Virtel Have to speak in front of everybody and then you kind of garbled together a sentence and it’s very touching. And then only a few years later, you think 911 is fake?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So, con is that she didn’t think the 911 first responders, right? Yes. But otherwise.

 

Louis Virtel The rare, like jubilant award show speech where it’s it reminds you why you actually care about award shows beyond memorizing Wikipedia as as I do.

 

Ira Madison III Okay. But Halle Berry is, first of all, is historic for two reasons. Okay. Obviously, her historic win and then the Adrien Brody kiss. Which was gross. But like it’s we remember its history. And also, he’s nominated again this year. Like, will people still remember that? And the only people who remember Mary and Courtyard speech are you and your friends who watch it on YouTube at 4 a.m..

 

Louis Virtel They’re lovely people, Christians. I mean, I will I will certainly say that Halley’s is more important. Interesting movie, by the way. She’s also kind of between lead and supporting.

 

Ira Madison III Actually, you know what? A Black Angelina Jolie. Not a lot of good movies. Right. But although, actually, maybe that’s not true. That’s great. John Wick three. But the fact.

 

Louis Virtel That you went to BAPS first, you know what I’m saying?

 

Ira Madison III What’s wrong with that.

 

Louis Virtel As her best movie?

 

Ira Madison III Well, you know, you wouldn’t understand. Okay. It’s not for you. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel I’ll stick to watching swordfish or whatever. Okay. Now, number two, this is this is the crux of your book. So I’ll leave this monologue to you. But we’re talking Tom Cruise on the couch.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Because, by the way, psychiatry, I just have never really bought it. You know what I mean? Where do they get the nerve.

 

Ira Madison III That what’s so exciting about it and rewatching it too, is, there’s just so many spinning pieces in this because obviously Oprah on her show is that the fans, like, they’re ecstatic. Like. Like you think you’re happy to see us, right, baby? They were heart attacks, right? You know, like the like the EMT is were on site. Right. Or an Oprah audience. Like I went once in Chicago when I was in college and it was terrifying. No.

 

Louis Virtel It’s not like like Beatlemania. That’s not that scary because it’s happening at like 8 p.m..

 

Ira Madison III That was this is 9 a.m. in Chicago. Yes. Yes. They would stop over you to get the chance to win a free car. Yeah, right.

 

Louis Virtel Also a car. They would stop up to win a free fucking bowl.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. So there’s that audience. But Tom Cruise comes out and they are whipped up even more. Yeah. And then Tom is first of all, I mentioned in the book this amazing aside about Tom, you know, because I think that he tries to replicate what humans are, right? It’s sort of like a robot.

 

Louis Virtel As you and I do, too. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III But there’s a weird moment where he notices a man in the audience like there to see him, like in the Oprah audience. And he likes, like, I can’t understand gay, you know? So he’s like, he bridges for a moment and like makes a joke like about the fact that why is there a man here, you know.

 

Louis Virtel Like he has.

 

Ira Madison III No idea. He thinks it’s just like because there’s been women adorning him, you know, like Scientology, you know, like the the church, like they they shoot someone if they’re a fagot coming out right.

 

Louis Virtel Out of the blue building right from the top window.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, you all do that here, right? You know, you don’t say, it happened this morning during tech. There’s that. And then he brings out Katie.

 

Louis Virtel Right? Because he’s shopping the romance.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. Yeah. And it’s just like he’s Katie Katie Hall. And it’s weird, you know.

 

Louis Virtel It’s just like. It’s like I’ve never had someone audition a relationship for me before. Yeah, it really, really felt like he was like, Don’t you see it? Look at all this electric energy between me and this television star.

 

Ira Madison III And they are screaming for this relationship. You know, I can’t think of like anyone we would ask, Well, maybe Zendaya and Tom. Sure. I again, I would be screaming for that, you know.

 

Louis Virtel But it’s it’s it’s interesting how low key they kind of keep that thing.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel They actually have some mystique, which is the thing lost from celebrity entirely nowadays.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, I love her.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, we’re at the top of the list. Can anyone guess?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, I can remember on it. Number one is. 911.

 

Louis Virtel The theme of the episode.

 

Ira Madison III You all really hate New York.

 

Louis Virtel But I did hear the correct answer.

 

Ira Madison III Janet Jackson, Nipple gate.

 

Louis Virtel First of all, congratulations. Let’s just boogie this moment with also feedback by Janet Jackson.

 

Ira Madison III This is a book club deejay. We don’t have this on cue. Right. But feedback is feedback is like one of the number one songs where I wear anger at straight people. Right. Because we like we love songs, obviously. But you need straight people to get to the top of the charts. Yes. You know, and the feedback just did not get to us, No.

 

Louis Virtel That would be a good book. We could work on reasons format as straight people.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Figure that out. Okay. Because my favorite thing about nipple gate is that the faking afterwards that there was no plan when the lyric of the song is I’ma have you naked by the end of this song, and then she’s naked. It follows the dramaturgy is there. It makes sense logically. And then later they had to lie about it. And also just the idea that they would ever kind of necessarily collaborate like those two people were on the same level once upon a time. Because as you know, we make mistakes.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Although justified. Great.

 

Louis Virtel Well, does that have Senorita?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Unfortunately, I.

 

Ira Madison III Love your body. Yes. Take me now. Parentheses.

 

Louis Virtel She said I heard a gay man mutter. No, like base level. You were like the guy in Rockefeller who said.

 

Ira Madison III Cry me a river.

 

Louis Virtel That was that was too dicey. It was too mean to her.

 

Ira Madison III No, The album Slop. Sorry. And then Future Sex, Love. Silence is even better.

 

Louis Virtel But by the way, do we think he called it that because he was copying Speaker Bach’s The Love Blow and didn’t understand that that was two albums.

 

Ira Madison III Maybe?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, that’s always been my theory about that.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. And honestly, I like the 2020 experience, too. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel So what don’t you like by him?

 

Ira Madison III Well, the Love guru. Not much. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Even the Super Bowl was like. Okay.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, it was okay. Yeah. That man of the woods. That wasn’t good. That wasn’t good. Although there are a couple. Really? Good. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, well, that’s our list.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I hope you enjoyed that.

 

Unidentified Were there any?

 

Ira Madison III You know, we also had also listed some things that were the worst. Did we? I did. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, three of them. All right. Go ahead. Freedom fries.

 

Louis Virtel I guess that is.

 

Ira Madison III Very, very American, though. Yeah. You know.

 

Louis Virtel Sarah Palin, which we don’t even need to get into.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel And then. But we. I want to say, of course, that Alice’s death is horrible on a different level, but the unavailability of certain Aliya songs afterwards remains ridiculous.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, they’re there now.

 

Louis Virtel All of them. Like everything. Even the entire I Care for You album is there. It took way too long.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. Yes, it is there. That was my 911. Okay. And it happened before, so I was already grieving.

 

Louis Virtel I’m sorry to say. Do you think if she were with us now, she would be the star? The Zoe Saldana role in Amelia Perez. She kind of wanted to be more of an actress than a singer.

 

Ira Madison III You know. And also, Sophia Gascon has a tweet. She was like, the planes should have gone down quicker. And she’s really evil.

 

Louis Virtel I know. It’s too bad.

 

Ira Madison III Though. I care for you is streaming. And I do want to say, like it has one of my favorite goofy songs on it, which is called Erica Kane. Which is a Susan Lucci tribute character. But people like it talks about, you know, like she walks through the streets, you know, like all the men are addicted to her. Took me forever to realize. Erica Kane. Cocaine. That’s what they used to call it, you know, on the streets.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Absolutely. Bring that.

 

Ira Madison III Back. Yeah, You’re doing that, Erica. Yeah, You got that? Erica Kane.

 

Louis Virtel I would get even more indirect what the references be like. Yeah, I just loves. I would love some 19 Emmy losses or whatever, you know, be real abstract about it.

 

Ira Madison III Lewis I had a great time in Pine Valley, right? Yeah, that’s right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. When we are back to our favorite segment of the episode, let’s keep it. And we’re back. We’re going to do a special Boston edition of Keep It. Yes. Ardmore Louis said he has a Boston keeper. And then we’re also going to invite the audience to share their keep it right.

 

Louis Virtel I’m a little afraid. This is a rowdy crowd.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Louis, what’s yours?

 

Louis Virtel Mine is local in that. I went to a gym this morning, and they usually start from.

 

Ira Madison III The name of the gym.

 

Louis Virtel And it’s a boot camp of sorts.

 

Ira Madison III Baby, Baby.

 

Louis Virtel I haven’t seen a single discount yet, so they can just wait. This has never happened to me before. I got there. There’s a lovely girl running the class who, like almost every woman who works there, has. Exactly. Mila Kunis Energy starts the music. The first song is country music. A male vocalist.

 

Ira Madison III Great. Picture me with a first say. What was it, post Malone? No. It was a song.

 

Louis Virtel It was giving Loggins and Masina.

 

Ira Madison III It was giving.

 

Louis Virtel People name like Alan Jackson. Keep that Sartre. And I want to be clear. It was not Shanaya. It was not. I was. I learned nothing about the woman in me that day. There’s something motivational about them. Like, you know, it’s I don’t want to call it a safe place, but when you’re around, like a bunch of people leaping around like it’s almost has to be a lady vocalist. Otherwise, how do I know my quads should get involved? You know what I’m saying? It was just so unsettling and no one would ever do that. And in fact, half of I don’t know if you know this in L.A., almost all the fitness world is run by Australians. So when if you’re taking a class, you are definitely hearing, if not Olivia Newton-John, all of Kylie Minogue. Like like as in the, like The Iliad length of her career.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Now, what is it like doing hip thrusts to tears on my pillow? Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel My God. You’re speaking of. There’s an Australian guy who is obsessed with Taylor Swift and always plays her music.

 

Ira Madison III Guys, Olivia Newton-John and Grease.

 

Louis Virtel That tears in my pillow, my guitar. There’s also. Tears on my pillow. Kylie Minogue. Yes. He hasn’t.

 

Ira Madison III You mean John, My friend John Morrison. He’s obsessed with Taylor Swift. No Australian, no more them.

 

Louis Virtel Can you believe there’s. There are over three. Taylor Swift fans in L.A..

 

Ira Madison III That’s actually sold so many tickets right now.

 

Louis Virtel IRA, what is your.

 

Ira Madison III Keep it My keep it. It’s more if I could keep it up.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Throwback.

 

Ira Madison III I want to buy some, you know, some camels. Okay. The adults know what that is. Smoking Kids don’t smoke. I was carded.

 

Louis Virtel What kind of card? And for what?

 

Ira Madison III My I.D.. Wow. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel What would you describe The electric jolt going through your body.

 

Ira Madison III What was that like? Sir, I’ll show it to you now. The sign did say we card everyone. You have to be over 21 to purchase anything from the smoke shop around the corner. But I choose to believe he saw myself out of you.

 

Louis Virtel Sure. It’s like you don’t. You certainly haven’t been smoking for 20 straight years.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel You certainly have been smoking like Gypsy Rose Lee.

 

Ira Madison III I was even one more. Anyway, those are our Keep it.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. We open it up to our lovely crowd. Yeah. If anybody has anything.

 

Ira Madison III Wait. There’s a spotlight on you. Yeah. Hudson, look at it this hour. And I just turned on the light. Sorry. You got someone? Hello. Hi. Longtime listener. Thank you. What’s your name? My name’s Dan.

 

Louis Virtel Very. Basically, I’m going to say that I keep it to Blake Lively. That’s interesting.

 

Ira Madison III No, wait. Let’s hear him out. I know you know it. Let’s hear him out. I’m not even taking the side.

 

Louis Virtel I’m just saying, I’m getting so sick of the damn news.

 

Ira Madison III Blake Lively. Just about anybody who gives a fuck. And now we’re. Now we’re getting on the simple.

 

Louis Virtel Truth, too. It’s like a really simple truth. Favor?

 

Ira Madison III Will they, won’t they?

 

Louis Virtel With fucking Anna Kendrick. So it’s like, every damn day. TMZ is Blake, Lively, this, that, and the other thing, and I’m just sick of hearing her name. Well, I will say, we really haven’t talked a lot about that whole situation because it is extremely illegible to me.

 

Ira Madison III But it is.

 

Louis Virtel What is real.

 

Ira Madison III What I’m talking about. Call her daddy. Yeah, right. I will say I was interested recently because I guess I found out that Taylor’s been pulled into it.

 

Louis Virtel Like she. Like she submitted a version of the script, and Taylor jumped in to, like, support that version of the script or something.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I mean, Taylor supporting a script I write. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I did. She read The Giver.

 

Ira Madison III What I feel is that because I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw it just because the algorithm would give you things from months ago. Yeah. For some reason, Reelz is out of control. But I was seeing, like, old clips of Blake on the press tour for it. It’s with us. And I was like. Honestly work, girl, because the way that she has, you know, spun like the Justin stuff in the lawsuit is, you know, like it damaged my hair care product. Right? It’s like we remember you walking on the carpet with that nasty dry hair. Trying to sell a hair care line. Right. Like, just like that. It just it had. Justin had nothing to do with that. Yeah, the girl saw the hair. It’s crazy. But you know what? Go ahead.

 

Louis Virtel I’m one of the few gay people who thinks a simple favor is only okay. There’s too many storylines.

 

Ira Madison III And it won’t work.

 

Louis Virtel Like. All right. Goes to like it goes to too many, like, witnesses before it gets to the end or whatever. Yeah, that’s.

 

Ira Madison III How you solve a murder.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Girl. Girl like Jean Smart is in it for five seconds, just like I was in my attic. I don’t know what happened. Like, you can cut that scene.

 

Ira Madison III You want to cut Jean Smart? That’s right. I.

 

Louis Virtel I want her to have fewer opportunities. I say.

 

Ira Madison III That’s right. Hannah Ann Binder. Who’s next? Who’s that over here? Yeah.

 

Audience Member I love you both. My name is Brenda.

 

Louis Virtel Hi, Brenda.

 

Audience Member I also have a Keep it up to our girl, SMG, announcing the Buffy reboot.

 

Ira Madison III That’s my guy.

 

Louis Virtel And so I love her attitude about it when she’s like, it’s. We’re only doing it if it’s going to be good.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Don’t anybody get any ideas? It’s going to be like a 60 on Metacritic.

 

Ira Madison III She had to put that statement out, though, because historically she has only been in bad things since Buffy. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Was that show The ringer good or thing?

 

Ira Madison III I will accept the ringer. See Nova in it. Okay. Ringer Twins.

 

Louis Virtel What was the thing she was in with Robin Williams. That TV show.

 

Ira Madison III That was bad. Yeah. Yeah. They were in an office. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, Over here.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I love the.

 

Louis Virtel Glasses. One second.

 

Ira Madison III It’s happening. We got to get you in. Might also shout out to the Cowboy Carter sweater next to you. All right.

 

Audience Member Hi, you guys.

 

Ira Madison III Hi.

 

Audience Member My name is Jamie, and I would like to say keep it to. There’s not enough seasons of Q force. I love that show. And the people. Thank you. The full cut of the hit song Wolves on the River, please.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Q for us was on Quibi.

 

Ira Madison III That was Netflix.

 

Louis Virtel That’s what.

 

Ira Madison III I wrote on the.

 

Louis Virtel Course has Matt Rogers in it. And you wrote for it?

 

Ira Madison III Yes, I wrote the Nikki Fresh show on Quibi. Yes, that’s right. Yes. Yes. Yeah, We needed more seasons of Cute Forest.

 

Louis Virtel I mean, all the characters are.

 

Ira Madison III Those residuals are dwindling. Yeah. Also, my book covers all the time. People loved it.

 

Louis Virtel So it was a funny show. I also, like, really gay.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel You know, I didn’t know Netflix had it in it. Aside from, of course, Amelia Perez starring Carla Silva. I guess I see how much fun.

 

Ira Madison III How much fun?

 

Audience Member Over here.

 

Ira Madison III No. His name is earlier. Yeah. So I keep it relates to somebody who I adore, but I would like to say keep it to Rihanna announcing her musical return in the form of the Smurfs soundtrack. So let me thank you. Ms.. Trainor gets a second call. Yeah, she’s really smart.

 

Louis Virtel She’s clearly in her state of being rich and unbothered.

 

Ira Madison III People need to stop begging her to work. CC Cameron Diaz. Wow. Okay. Well, first of all, I don’t know if you’ve been following the news, but I would not call Rihanna unbothered lately. And she is at the courthouse. Right, with that. So let her do that. But also, yeah, I saw it. It’s another remember when Britney did that? Right.

 

Louis Virtel So it’s a song she’s doing for the Smurfs.

 

Ira Madison III I think it’s a song, but she’s playing a Smurf to Smurf that.

 

Louis Virtel Rihanna your life one time.

 

Ira Madison III Also, were the Smurfs ever cool?

 

Louis Virtel I will say that I enjoyed the idea of Smurfette and Gargamel and the cat as real. But beyond that, they really just were Belgian things that were easy to draw.

 

Ira Madison III Gargamel. He’s on a list, right? Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel No, I’m worried about that.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel For my, my, my Belgian king is Mr. Tintin.

 

Ira Madison III I love it. I love country.

 

Louis Virtel We do an adventure. And also I’m bald.

 

Ira Madison III Does Tintin was like the answer to, like, making colonialism sexy and youthful. Right?

 

Louis Virtel Perfect color shirt on himself.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, that’s great. Underrated Superman.

 

Louis Virtel There’s like. That’s one of those movies that has like four good scenes because the set pieces.

 

Ira Madison III Are, I said, underrated Spielberg. And you’re like, for good scenes.

 

Louis Virtel Marathon Man. Another one like that. Okay, high over there and the absolutely goop like sweater.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah yeah yeah.

 

Audience Member I keep it is to Louis.

 

Ira Madison III I’m right here.

 

Audience Member Where’s the letter box. Well, I need it. I don’t care about the star rating.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. You heard.

 

Ira Madison III It. Yeah. Yes. I don’t even rate them anymore.

 

Louis Virtel I, I will say this about letter box. Everybody is really good at it. Like, everybody has, like, just the right tweet. I don’t know, Like, it’s like everybody’s going to make the same jokes about the movies. In a way, I don’t feel that obligated to do it. That’s you don’t have to.

 

Ira Madison III Make jokes, though. Some people just write like their genuine thoughts on the movie.

 

Louis Virtel Imagine anything worse. I’m sickened. Ah, you know what? It will happen eventually. But it’s just when I. When I happen, when I start an undertaking, I have to really do it and I don’t want to start it and stop it. So one of these days it will happen. I love being sassed.

 

Ira Madison III One more question.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. She seems stern.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Audience Member Hi. I’m a huge fan. I’ve been listening since there was, like, three of you.

 

Ira Madison III Which three? Yeah.

 

Audience Member I keep. It’s for IRA for two things. One, I’m a subscriber, Frank. I’ve been patiently waiting to hear your thoughts on New York and Salt Lake City.

 

Ira Madison III Maybe I’m on a book tour.

 

Audience Member I know, but I need an I need it. I try trying to look for it. And then second, what’s your beef with Scorpios? I need you to like, is your mom in October or November? Scorpio.

 

Ira Madison III She’s November. Scorpio.

 

Audience Member So that’s okay. I’m October.

 

Ira Madison III Okay. Yeah.

 

Audience Member Keep on hating. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel That was the rookie like energy. I want to shop.

 

Ira Madison III And you can find out more about my relationship with my Scorpio mother in Pure innocent five.

 

Unidentified And feel. Wow.

 

Ira Madison III Wow. What a moment. What a moment.

 

Louis Virtel My God. Remember? Wow. What a.

 

Ira Madison III Moment. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking.

 

Louis Virtel Of errors of.

 

Ira Madison III The show, I mean, children were listening to this podcast. I know. Weddings, graduations, roles in Boston. Thank you, Boston for joining us. Thank you so much for being here.

 

Louis Virtel I hope we get to do more of this in the future. It’s been such a thrill for us and so much for having us.

 

Ira Madison III Thank you for having. Don’t forget to follow Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. You can also subscribe to keep it on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content. And if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us for review or leaving comments on the YouTube page.

 

Louis Virtel Yep, it is a Crooked Media production. Our producer is Bill McGrath. Our associate producer is Kennedy Hill and our executive producers are Ira Madison, the third, Louis Virtel and Kendra James. Our digital team is Megan Patsel, Claudia Sheng and Rachel Gaieski.

 

Ira Madison III This episode was recorded and mixed by Vasilis Fotopoulos. Thank you to Matt DeGroot, David Toles, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landes for production support. Every week our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East and as always, Keep It is filmed in front of a live studio audience.