DOGE DAYS

Elon Musk’s DOGE is slicing up the government with reckless speed. Behind the scenes, the operation is a chaotic nightmare.

• Elon Musk’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency isn’t just wreaking havoc in the lives of government employees as it works feverishly to slash the federal workforce. It’s also leaving middle managers grasping for answers, and unsure what to tell nervous career public servants as they desperately seek clarity and reassurance. For a sense of just how chaotically that’s playing out, check out what happened in a series of recent Q&A sessions at a large government agency in New England. What A Day recently obtained the entire list of nearly 300 responses.

• Employees asked: Is DOGE allowed to spy on me? Will I be fired? Do I have to come into the office if I live 50 miles away? Is there enough space for everyone to return? Can I rescind my resignation?

• Top leadership responded, repeatedly: We simply don’t know. DOGE has frozen hiring and offered “buyouts,” in moves that the courts have called questionable at best. The lightning speed has left agencies hardly any time to make sense of how workers might be impacted. As a result, some of the most senior people charged with running the U.S. government (even those who aren’t 19-year-old tech bros named “Big Balls”) are adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

• The Trump administration has repeatedly pledged to find people within the government who are leaking information to reporters (love u guys!). An employee asked how secure their Microsoft Teams, e-mails, and computer drives are. “There shouldn’t be any expectation of privacy. It isn’t monitored, but can be reviewed under certain conditions, like a court order,” a top official responded. When a worker leaves, supervisors and privacy officers will be allowed to dig through their computer. 

Officials working with DOGE made it clear that they don’t agree with what Musk is doing.

• One worker asked: How can anyone trust the deferred resignation offer when so many lawmakers and unions have spoken out against it? It’s “insulting,” the person added, slamming the “fear tactics to provoke a reaction into potentially ruining our careers.” In response, management told workers to reject the DOGE buyout, in a rebuke to Musk’s big plan: “We encourage all staff to remain … because we are a team and every person is essential to our efforts.”

• Another worker asked, why aren’t some obviously essential workers (like tech support and finance) considered essential by DOGE? The response: “Just because a position is not on the exemption lists does not mean they are not essential. We do not know what discussions were conducted behind the scenes.”

• As of today, about 75,000 workers (about 3 percent of the federal workforce) accepted the deferred resignation offer — falling extremely short of Musk’s lofty goals.

What’s more, Acting President Musk and Vice President Donald Trump are being careful to not hinder their own business dealings on their quest to root out corruption in the federal government.

Got a tip? Hit me up on Signal at 413-726-4767 or email at whataday@crooked.com. I’ll keep you totally anonymous.

NEWS NEWS NEWS

The Senate confirmed brainworm survivor Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as the next head of the Department of Health and Human Services. Never mind his lengthy anti-vax history, apparent quid pro quo with Donald Trump to get a job, enthusiasm for dead animals, and certified creepiness. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), a polio survivor, was again the only Republican holdout. You know things are dire when Mitch McConnell is your party’s lone voice of reason.

Manhattan prosecutors were prepared to indict New York City Mayor Eric Adams on charges of destroying evidence instructing people to lie to the FBI before the Trump administration dropped the case, the New York Post reports. Danielle Sassoon, the top prosecutor, resigned today instead of agreeing to drop the case. And the next guy in line to take over resigned, too.

Elon Musk denied that the State Department is buying $400 million worth of armored Tesla Cyberstrucks. The State Department put the contract on hold following reports that appeared to make too much out of the initial evidence. In short, the press seemed to get over its skis on this one. For clarity, here’s a very helpful explainer from Gizmodo about this “fake scandal.”

The Trump administration dropped a sexual misconduct investigation against WWE creep Vince McMahon shortly before his wife, Linda McMahon’s, hearing to be the next education secretary. Nothing to see here!

At the hearing today, McMahon said she’s “not quite certain” whether Black history courses would be allowed under the Trump administration. “That’s pretty chilling,” Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) replied. Black history is American history, in case these people forgot! Trump later said he’d like to close the Department of Education “immediately” because it’s “a big con job.” Ah, yes, free public education is a “con job,” says the man who ran a fraudulent for-profit university that didn’t do any real educating. Always projecting, this guy.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth walked back his statement that Ukraine won’t be able to join NATO after its war with Russia. “Everything is on the table,” he told reporters. “I’m not going to stand at this podium and declare what President Trump will do or won’t do.” Fumbling your first order of business: Smooth!

Hamas said it plans to release hostages this weekend as planned, raising hopes that its fragile cease-fire agreement with Israel will hold.

Trump’s plan to deport 1 million immigrants this year is looking increasingly unrealistic, due to a lack of funds, immigration agents, and detention spaces (and, of course, his own mind-boggling incompetence). Republicans now admit that Mexico ain’t paying for shit: “At the end of the day, we’ve gotta just spend money,” Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) told Axios. “Unfortunately the American taxpayers are going to have to pay the bill on this.”

Sen. Tina Smith (D-MN) announced that she won’t seek re-election. Gov. Tim Walz is considering a run, and Lt. Gov. Peggy Falanagan said she plans to run. 

Former Vice President Kamala Harris would be the clear frontrunner if she ran for California governor, according to a new poll. 

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) put together a list of “woke” science programs that he wants to see cut, which include how to make self-driving vehicles safer and teaching kids about solar eclipses. Our nation’s greatest minds hard at work.

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