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What A Day: Pretend the knee

Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance speaks during the third night of the Republican National Convention at Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee, Wis., July 17, 2024. (Photo by Anthony Behar/Sipa USA)(Sipa via AP Images)

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Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance speaks during the third night of the Republican National Convention at Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee, Wis., July 17, 2024. (Photo by Anthony Behar/Sipa USA)(Sipa via AP Images)

HUMILIATION PARADE

The Republican National Coronation, er, Convention, features plenty of speakers who once called Trump “reprehensible,” a “con man,” or a “pathological liar.” Now, they’re lining up to bend the knee — and debase themselves.
  • Nikki Haley, the former UN ambassador for disgraced former President Trump who later became his top 2024 primary opponent, once condemned Trump as “toxic,” and totally lacking in “moral clarity.” In February, she insisted: “I feel no need to kiss the ring.” But on Wednesday night, she puckered up, and gave a “strong endorsement.” She said: “We have a country to save, and a unified Republican Party is essential.” Talk about lacking moral clarity.
  • Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) once famously quipped that, unlike Trump, he never paid “hush money to a porn star to secure silence over some type of alleged affair.” Trump, of course, was criminally convicted after doing precisely that. DeSantis once said Trump was “missing in action,” had “set the stage” for rampant inflation, and has “lost the zip on [his] fastball.” He warned that Trump spelled doom for Republicans, because even a resurrected J.F.K. “wouldn’t energize Democrats as much as Donald Trump.” But on Tuesday night, DeSantis gave a full-throated endorsement, and jumped on the Trump train. Choo-choo!
  • Sens. Marco Rubio (R-FL) and Ted Cruz (R-TX), likewise, melted down their last remaining vertebrae. Cruz once called Trump a “sniveling coward” in response to personal attacks on the appearance of Cruz’s wife, Heidi, as well as a Tweet threatening to “spill the beans” about her. “Leave Heidi the Hell alone!,” Cruz warned. Cruz called Trump a “bully,” a “narcissist,” and a “pathological liar” with “a consistent pattern of inciting violence.” Rubio, likewise, once blasted Trump as a “con artist.” He said the country could not afford to give “the nuclear codes of the United States to an erratic individual,” or turn over “the conservative movement to someone who has spent a career sticking it to working people.” He even mocked Trump’s “small hands,” suggesting “something else must be small.”  Both hit the RNC stage on Tuesday night and plumped hard for that same guy! Rubio, who spent all year in a failed audition to become Trump’s veep, hailed Trump’s America First agenda. Cruz delivered his slobbering praise in a truly ugly, falsehood-riddled speech attacking immigrants.
The grand prize, of course, goes to Trump’s VP pick, Sen. JD Vance (R-OH), for literally signing up to run with the guy he once worried could be “America’s Hitler.” It’s as if brazen hypocrisy among GOP elites is a sign of strength, or a way of saying: “I am a demi-god of bullshit, unbound by any social norms of consistency. Look upon my flagrant lies, and be amazed!”

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Trump’s former White House adviser Peter Navarro was released from prison on Wednesday and made a beeline for Milwaukee to attend the RNC, where he’s scheduled to speak. Evidence of a prison-to-politics pipeline?
Onstage at the RNC, House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) hilariously declared that the GOP is “the law and order team.” Quite the claim when the leader of the Republican Party is a convicted felon 34 times over! Let’s see if Peter Navarro agrees, when he arrives to discuss his time in the slammer.
Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle told ABC News that the assassination attempt against Trump was “unacceptable,” and that “the buck stops with me,” but she won’t resign. She also, weirdly, said that no one was stationed on the rooftop used by the shooter because it was “sloped.” Uh, what?
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is working behind the scenes to get back in Trump’s good graces, Axios reports. The embattled leader’s charm offensive comes amid escalating tensions in the Middle East following a threat from the leader of Hezbollah against Israel’s military. Trump and Bibi were basically best pals during Trump’s presidency, but those warm and fuzzy feelings stopped for Trump when Bibi called Joe Biden to congratulate him after winning the 2020 election.
Trump said Taiwan should “pay” for the U.S. to defend the island nation from China, which claims Taiwan as part of its territory. “You know, we’re no different than an insurance company,” Trump told Bloomberg. “Taiwan doesn’t give us anything.” Ah yes, it was once again a great idea to elevate people who promised to “Run America like a business.”

Large-headed nitwit Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) mocked former GOP House Speaker Kevin McCarthy on the floor of the RNC, saying: “If you took that stage, you’d get booed off of it.” Meanwhile, if Matt Gaetz took the stage, he would have to make sure he was not within 500 feet of a school.

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