TACO THURSDAY

Is the secret to making loads of cash in Donald Trump’s America… tacos? Some financial experts say it is, as the White House’s trade agenda gets chewed up.

• President Donald Trump once declared himself a huge fan of tacos, back when he infamously posted a picture of his big grinning mug over a Trump Tower crispy tortilla bowl filled with beans, cheese and sour cream on Cinco de Mayo. But think again! When a reporter recently asked him about TACO — finance bro slang for “Trump Always Chickens Out” — the president got red hot. “I chicken out? I’ve never heard that,” Trump responded. “Don’t ever say what you said. That’s a nasty question. To me, that’s the nastiest question.” Someone squirt some lime juice on this guy, sheesh!

• But that term, coined by Financial Times columnist Robert Armstrong, is suddenly going viral. And it’s based on a very real phenomenon: Trump’s tendency to talk big and then wimp out. That habit has put the stock market on a rollercoaster, as threats repeatedly tank the market, and cowardly reversals prompt relief rallies. Example: Remember when Trump announced tariffs on most countries in the world — including penguin-covered islands — and the market tumbled? He paused the tariffs following backlash, and markets cheered. Some investors, understandably, call this chickening out. (Others might simply call it chicken tinga.)

• Trump’s allies, including Attorney General Pam Bondi and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green (R-GA), and even Democratic lawmakers, have already put their cash down on the predictable route of Trump’s TACO truck. “See how the TACO trade works? It’s a two-step process: Buy the dip — the lowered prices following a Trump tariff announcement — and sell at the higher prices after Trump’s inevitable chickening-out pushes stocks back up,” writes Michael Hiltzik, a business columnist at the Los Angeles Times. (I see what you did there… buy the cheese dip. Right, gang?)

Sometimes, of course, Trump doesn’t have to chicken out… because he gets slapped down by a court.

• Last night, the U.S. Court of International Trade ruled that Trump can’t enact tariffs just because he made up a fake state of emergency — which is basically how he justified launching his “Liberation Day” trade war. An appeals court then paused that decision today while the legal wrangling plays out.

• But it still marks a huge setback for a White House that continues scrambling to score trade deals. Wall Street loved the news, and stock prices spiked — showing the TACO theory can hold true even when Trump himself is still trying to stand strong.

• The president’s team is now bracing for a spicy legal food fight. “We expect to fight this battle all the way to the Supreme Court,” White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said today. “You can assume that even if we lose, we will [enact tariffs] another way,” White House trade adviser Peter Navarro told reporters.

The TACO term could even be a potent political weapon against Trump. “It’s meme-able,” The Bulwark’s Jonathan V. Last writes. “Hell, there’s even a pre-built emoji for it.

You can put this thing anywhere and it will be a symbol of the democracy movement.” Plus: Trump absolutely hates it.

CAMPUS CHAOS

The Trump administration is taking its attack on international students to disturbing new levels.

The State Department and Department of Homeland Security will work to “aggressively revoke” visas for Chinese students, Secretary of State Marco Rubio said.

“I think it is terribly misguided, counterproductive and another way in which we are shooting ourselves in the foot,” Michael Roth, president of Wesleyan University, told the New York Times.

It’s also cruel. Anyone who’s been to college in the U.S. knows some international students who enrolled with all the same hopes and dreams that college kids have. Now, imagine those dreams suddenly getting smashed by — of all people — Little Marco.

There are some 275,000 Chinese students on visas in the United States. American universities have benefited significantly in recent decades from the students’ research contributions, as well as financial support. The White House and lawmakers worry that some of those students may be used by Beijing to spy on the United States, which appears to be one of the motivations for this new policy.

Rubio suggested that the Trump administration will only target those “studying in critical fields” or with connections to the Chinese Communist Party. But we know others may be targeted for dubious reasons: The U.S. is trying to deport Tufts University student Rümeysa Öztürk for writing an opinion article critical of Israel in her student newspaper. It’s easy to imagine Chinese students also being targeted for practicing free speech.

The White House’s attack on foreign students is already having a chilling effect. At Harvard University, “too many international students to count” have inquired about transferring out of the school because of Trump’s actions, the school said.

“A lot of us are just very scared,” one Harvard doctoral student told Boston.com. “There has been very little transparency on what protections the university is willing to commit to. It’s just been all very uncertain, and it’s left us all with our lives a bit upended.”

NEWS NEWS NEWS

The White House said that Israel accepted its proposal for a temporary ceasefire with Hamas. The militant group said it’s considering the idea. Previously, Hamas said it agreed on a “general framework,” which would include Israeli troops withdrawing from Gaza, a longer ceasefire, and an increase in aid into the territory.

Gazillionaire tech freak Elon Musk officially left the U.S. government after a tumultuous tenure that destroyed his public image [sad trombone]. When news of his official departure broke, stock in Tesla, his electric car, rose 2 percent — a sign that investors are happy that his focus might not be pulled in one million different directions anymore.

Brainworm survivor Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s so-called Make American Healthy Again report cites studies that don’t actually exist, according to researchers who are listed in the report released last week. Kennedy has called the document a “milestone” for public health… when it really seems to be a milestone for public lies and misinformation. How much do you wanna bet someone used ChatGPT to write this thing, and it made up some fake sources? The White House blamed “formatting issues” for the bogus research. Lmaoooo.

The Department of Health and Human Services canceled millions in funding for Moderna to vaccines against bird flu. I’m now imagining RFK Jr.’s dream summer: taking cool dips in sewage-infested water, eating roadkill, hanging out with his dead brainworm, and contracting bird flu. And the government says it’s okay! Woohoo!

Qatar appears uneasy with how Trump’s jumbo jet transaction went down, the Washington Post reports. The Qatari government wants a memo of understanding between Washington and Doha stating that the transaction was initiated by the Trump administration, and that Qatar isn’t responsible for any further transfers of the plane. In other words, the deal isn’t done yet — despite the U.S. saying it will have a new Air Force One in no time. I, too, would like to manifest a free luxury jet for myself!

The Trump administration is working to return a Guatemalan man who was deported to Mexico without due process, the Department of Homeland Security told a judge last night. It’s the first public sign that Trump’s team would comply with orders to bring back someone who they wrongfully deported. But, like, come on. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Paramount offered the Trump administration $15 million to settle its lawsuit against CBS News, but Trump’s team is demanding $25 million and an apology from the news outlet, the Wall Street Journal reports. Rumor has it, his team ends every new demand with a menacing look and a simple phrase: Capisce?

Trump pardoned or commuted sentences for 26 people, including a former gang leader convicted of murder, reality TV stars and former GOP lawmakers. One of those former lawmakers, Michael Grimm, once told a reporter on live television, “I’ll break you in half, like a boy.” Can someone check in on that reporter, please?

CEOs of S&P 500 companies brought home a lot of extra bacon last year — nearly 10 percent more than the year prior. At many of those companies, it would take the average worker 192 years to earn as much money as the CEO makes in a single year. Wow, the CEOs must work really hard.

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