“Unscripted Gems” w. Patricia Arquette | Crooked Media
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June 14, 2023
Keep It
“Unscripted Gems” w. Patricia Arquette

In This Episode

Ira and Louis discuss the writer-less Tony Awards, Elliott Page’s new memoir, Pound Town as a summer anthem, potential Wheel of Fortune hosts, conflating The Weeknd with his character on The Idol, and gays wearing deodorant. Plus, Patrica Arquette joins to discuss her new series High Desert, making sense of David Lynch, and her other iconic roles.

 

TRANSCRIPT

 

 

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Ira Madison III And we’re back with an all new Keep It. I’m Ira Madison, the third.

 

Louis Virtel And I’m Louis Virtel. I remain Louis Virtel in the midst of apparently among the grayest Junes on record here in Los Angeles. And I’m wearing gray for the occasion. I’m really fitting in.

 

Ira Madison III Well, listen, the summer is hot in New York. It’s sunny. The burning ash is gone. It’s bright. And I just. I just. I just took a trip, Louis.

 

Louis Virtel Oh. Where’d you go?

 

Ira Madison III Pound Town.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, God. That’s not a place you can go. This is a song you’re obsessed with.

 

Ira Madison III I’m obsessed with this song. It’s from this rapper. This raptress, Sexy Red.

 

Louis Virtel Great name.

 

Ira Madison III And Nicki Minaj is on the remix. So it’s called Ound Town 2. And when I tell you that this song has taken over New York City.

 

Louis Virtel Really?

 

Ira Madison III Like, take it. My friends are constantly listening to it. I was listening to it in an Uber on the way to, on the way from Brooklyn Pride last weekend. And this, like, group of five girls like heard it at the stoplight and basically, like surrounded the car and started dancing.

 

Louis Virtel First of all, Sexy Red is only the name I use for Willie Nelson. Second of all, I heard the song. It’s a kind of traditional rap song, kind of mid-tempo.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, listen. She’s not on the beat.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Okay.

 

Ira Madison III But it’s one of those is one of those songs that is just so funny.

 

Louis Virtel She definitely names the colors of her.

 

Ira Madison III Her coochie’s pink.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. The coochie.

 

Ira Madison III And her booty hole is brown.

 

Louis Virtel Right. And we love the color wheel. So I’m really thrilled about that.

 

Ira Madison III I love an ignorant song.

 

Louis Virtel Over here, I would say Padam Padam is still I can’t even really say the song of the summer because, by the way, the charts have still not heard of it. You know, you scroll all the way down and it’s like, Nope, it’s still Morgan Wallen, the house dumb boots. But I did buy a Kylie merch. There’s a Padam Padam chain necklace that you can get for like 20 bucks or something that will arrive. Well, it’s available in July, which means I’m probably going to get it. Well, after we’re done with Padam Padam, sometime in the September area.

 

Ira Madison III When the album comes out.

 

Louis Virtel Right. I cannot believe how long we have to wait for this album to come out. I know we’ve talked a lot about Kylie over the past few weeks here, but I’m waiting for some other single to stand out. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to be like out in these New York parking lots, jamming to Whitney Sunderland.

 

Ira Madison III I need you twerking to Pound Town, Louis.

 

Louis Virtel No. I need to adopt that. I need to. I need to get a driver’s license in Pound Town? Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, but, you know, I have Kylie merch from the last album. It’s a it was just a necklace. It was a necklace with just the letter K.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, that’s cute. Classic. I bought on her website. She has lots of stuff from her previous albums. I got an Aphrodite sweatshirt still in my top three or four albums of hers. And of course, the top two.

 

Ira Madison III Chocolate bar from the album Body Language.

 

Louis Virtel Man. The audacity of her to put out an R&B song called Chocolate. I mean, and it worked. I’m just saying it could have gone, you know, awry.

 

Ira Madison III We’ve talked about this, that Ludacris was originally on the song.

 

Louis Virtel That would be fabulous. And apparently he is amazing at the Janet shows.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, he’s really good at it. He you could still so he was removed for the song for, I don’t know, label reasons. There’s always label reasons out there. But you can hear him in the background vocals. Like the guy who’s, like, sort of like, you know, like whispering stuff.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, yeah, right. Okay, I’m going to listen back to that. I listen to that all the time anyway. Yes. I saw over the weekend Mariah Carey at LA Pride.

 

Ira Madison III How was that?

 

Louis Virtel Well, we’ll get to that in a second, because I had heard then I forgot that half of time was shut down because Janet Jackson was at the Hollywood Bowl and people loved her. She was fabulous. I was a little surprised at how expensive the tickets were, so I didn’t jump on it immediately and kind of forgot about it. But Mariah, I will say this. I arrive at the show along with all of Los Angeles. We’re just in an abandoned ditch near the train tracks on nowhere. That’s where this takes place.

 

Ira Madison III So L.A. Pride.

 

Louis Virtel You got it, baby. Pride in the park. I would love to know what the name of the park is because it didn’t feel like one were there.

 

Ira Madison III A car park.

 

Louis Virtel She. Yeah, I guess she is dressed pure, white, sparkling, all the way down. She looks like the $5,000 wedge on Wheel of Fortune and Fabulous. You know, she has that kind of Jennifer Coolidge uber eyelashes, classic Mariah Carey thing. My thing about this show is I can’t picture what the successful version of it was supposed to look like because it was remix on remix, on remix. You got like snippets of all of these. They would repeat remixes. I heard Fantasy easily three times while I was standing there, and she seemed to be confused and perturbed looking at nobody and her mysterious dancer who was next to her at all times. And then like.

 

Ira Madison III One dancer?

 

Louis Virtel Yes, I think. And then at one point, she’s getting out of this like rad car that drives on the stage. Fine. And she has a tiara and suddenly she is touching the tiara the entire time as if it’s going to fall off or it’s not fastened there or they haven’t planned this. So I don’t I don’t know how much they rehearsed or she didn’t do a soundcheck or whatever. Not that there was much sound coming from Mariah Carey anyway, her interludes where she was talking to the audience. Very funny.

 

Ira Madison III Okay.

 

Louis Virtel And she, like, named the I guess Pride is an acronym now. And she went named what P R I D and E stand for. In my opinion, it stands for Protest Riot. Illeana Douglas, Dana Delaney and Eve. And I guess that’s not the real thing. But she said whatever they are. So, I.

 

Ira Madison III Pride for mestands for Puffy, Red, Ibsen.

 

Louis Virtel Oh.

 

Ira Madison III Down Everywhere Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Ibsen. Wow. Jessica Chastain really nailed it this year.

 

Ira Madison III She’s done.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. So I can’t say it was a good show, but it was great to see. She did look excellent. And I loved, you know, that Dancing to the Morales remix of Dream Lover, which we heard, I think seven times.

 

Ira Madison III To be fair, it’s also 20 minutes.

 

Louis Virtel Right? No, She walked off stage and on. Please. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III I’m glad the. I’m. I’m not shocked that the interludes were great because obviously.

 

Louis Virtel She’s hilarious.

 

Ira Madison III Her book was.  She’s fucking hilarious. Her book was so much better to listen to than to read. How do we get her some kind of, like, show?

 

Louis Virtel Right.

 

Ira Madison III Like, just let her do the interludes and stuff. Like, honestly, Mariah with the radio show would be so much fun. Like Queen radio. That’s what radio. Radio. She’s just talking. And then her songs play in between the conversation. And then maybe she joins in sometimes. Maybe she gives you, like, some background on a song. I think that’s all I want.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Like a quick story about her. Oh, yeah. You won’t believe what ODB said to me as I walked into the studio that day. Whatever. Yeah. The difference is between her and Nicki Minaj is that I do think Mariah Carey, shall we say, exhausts easily. So I don’t know that she’s going to stay at the mic for the full hour or even just a half hour.

 

Ira Madison III The bitch is tired.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, right. Yeah. Nobody loves a daybed like Mariah Carey.

 

Ira Madison III Mariah on Keep It would be like 10 minutes.

 

Louis Virtel Right? By the way, please come here. Even though I just. I just was maybe pessimistic about the show. Please come here.

 

Ira Madison III I’m good, baby. You’ll have a good day. Julie. Mariah, you always said your name.

 

Louis Virtel Also can I say? So at one point, she left the stage to switch costumes and she was like, Now take a look at how you really took over Tik-tok. And then she showed us some Tik Tok trend that happened with some song of hers I had never heard of. Girl, I do not care. Girl What?

 

Ira Madison III I think it’s about my face from Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, it’s a non single. And you know, we saw a million people dancing to it or not dancing to it.

 

Ira Madison III Because it’s sped up on TikTok. Let me tell you something. I’m a  little sick of the sped up versions.

 

Louis Virtel Who thought that was rad? Who was like, jamming to that? I don’t want to hear that.

 

Ira Madison III Because the kids do choreo. Everyone’s doing choreo now.

 

Louis Virtel Oh my God. Where is by the actually, I forgot this. In the middle of it, Debbie Allen shows up to.

 

Ira Madison III Of course.

 

Louis Virtel Drop some jokes or can Debbie Allen just criticize all of these tiktoks in general and be like, you’re going home today. You’re not getting to the next round of auditions. I just don’t want to see these people move on.

 

Ira Madison III What’s Laurie Gibson? It’s too much

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, Laurie Gibson. Mia Michaels, please show up. Yeah. God, I loved her. I mean, she was in So You Think You Can Dance. When you get to mean judge, slay.

 

Ira Madison III Ah, well it sounds successful.

 

Louis Virtel I had a great timem though.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I mean, who would pass up a chance to hang out with Mariah?

 

Louis Virtel But now also, it’s like. I think I just had water in my hand. Nothing going on chemically with me. I was. You put on Honey, I’m rhapsodic. I mean, it was lovely in many ways.

 

Ira Madison III Did she play the 911 song? Hero

 

Louis Virtel What was that? Oh, Oh, She apparently came out afterwards and did a piano version of Hero is my least favorite of her number one hits, so I didn’t need to stick around for that. But even worse than I Don’t Want to Cry, a song you don’t hear anymore.

 

Ira Madison III All right. Well, that’s our show. We’re just like Mariah. We’re done.

 

Louis Virtel It’s off to my third nap.

 

Ira Madison III Now, we have a lot to talk about this week. We have the Tony Awards.

 

Louis Virtel Can’t wait to discuss them.

 

Ira Madison III They were razzle dazzle.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Classic. And yet not classics, since there were no writers involved, as Ariana Debose illustrated in the first seconds of her opening number.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, we’ve got the Tonys. And then also a salacious new book is out, Elliot Page’s memoir.

 

Louis Virtel Thank you to the this fierce member of the queer Community for reviving the salacious memoir. When was the last salacious memoir we got? I mean, Mariah’s wasn’t even that salacious. Demi Moore?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, just the time that she snuck out with Debra to go and get French fries.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Which should be serialized. Like then that should be the next Zola movie. Like you should. I should be seeing that on the big screen.

 

Ira Madison III Don’t let A24 hear you

 

Louis Virtel No. They are on the walls of Crooked, I feel.

 

Ira Madison III And also our guest this week is the divine, Patricia Arquette.

 

Louis Virtel I mean, I know I say this about a lot of our interviews recently, when she came on and just the way she is extremely articulate about how she acts, how she approaches a project, whatever, is just astounding. I was so thrilled to talk with her. She’s so warm and a legend. Jesus Christ. She’s been famous almost as long as both you and I have been alive.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. And she’s so thoughtful about each of her roles. She remembers them, too.

 

Louis Virtel Love that. Literally.

 

Ira Madison III Because she’s been in everything.

 

Louis Virtel You can’t. I mean, like when we interview legends, sometimes there’s no guarantee that they have, like, a razor sharp memory about everything they’ve ever done. And she was like, we were living it with her while she described it, so.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. All right. We’ll be back with more Keep It.

 

<AD>

 

Ira Madison III Broadway’s biggest night was this week and we’re finding it hard to rain on this parade.

 

Louis Virtel Wow. You gave it the full Entertainment Tonight with that one.

 

Ira Madison III Funny story. That is the only song in Funny Girl.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, right. It’s the only one you ever hear. It’s giving Dolly Parton lifetime tribute. She did 9 to 5. I Will Always Love You. And I don’t know what else.

 

Ira Madison III Even with no writers, there were still some iconic moments and speeches. So did we like the Toniy’s? And who did the thing?

 

Louis Virtel First of all, I regret how good the show is because as you know.

 

Ira Madison III It was so frickin good.

 

Louis Virtel There were no, because there were no writers.

 

Ira Madison III Sorry, writers.

 

Louis Virtel And so it’s not it’s not exactly a sterling endorsement of my profession. Yeah, it began with a musical number. Very smart, right? No talking in that. So, I mean.

 

Ira Madison III She, by the way, I just want to point out, so the Tony’s were at the United Palace in Washington Heights. You can you can tell it was up there because Ariana Debose kept saying Wepa.

 

Louis Virtel Sitting in D.C.. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III But. She had me hooked from like the first seconds when she flings herself down a flight of stairs in the theater, and then they catch her. I was like, She’s a performer.

 

Louis Virtel Well, also, you have to remember, before she was Oscar winner Ariana Debose, she was So You Think You Can Dance contestant Ariana Debose. And those people, I don’t think there has been a show in the history of television that works its contestants like that show. So if you survive, if you become if you get to the final stretch of that show, I mean I mean, it’s like an Olympian feat. It’s like you may as well be a decathlete.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, she was so fucking good. And yeah, I mean, we could just say it right away. The writers are not needed for the Tonys.

 

Louis Virtel I unfortunately would like to cancel us. Yeah. Keep It to everything I’ve ever done and everything I believe in.

 

Ira Madison III Well, because the thing about the Tonys that they do so great is, like, we started with that musical number, and it really just went from, like, musical numbers, speech, musical number, speech, musical numbers, speech. Because, you know, there’s all these musicals to celebrate. And I’m like, God, can the fucking Oscars do that?

 

Louis Virtel Right. I mean, it was. Well, I will say about this year’s Oscars, the one I wrote for. I mean, like, I think it was considered successful because it was more barebones, like there was a monologue, but that was it. You know, There wasn’t you know, you know, it’s not Jimmy coming at you from a Ferris wheel halfway through the show or some sort of wild stunt. Yes. No. And also, like everybody at the Tonys, the people who give the speeches, they generally have so much to say. You know, a lot of we had non-binary winners, so they had a lot to talk about. We had, you know, people that there’s always underrated people in the theater who need to be shouted out. So there’s just a lot to say outside of preplanned written material. One thing I will say, we got somewhat longer or more interesting clips of shows because, you know, I guess they had to fill time. I regretted that the plays in the clips I saw didn’t come off looking spectacular. Like A Doll’s House to me looked like a high school production.

 

Ira Madison III It looked weird in the clips.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Even though in person it’s extremely bracing. You know, you’re in this grayscale production. So it’s like really grim and kind of Kafkaesque, but it didn’t appear that way on TV. So I hope people weren’t dissuaded by that. That said, almost all the musical numbers I saw were good outside of didn’t love New York, New York, New York. I thought that looked like any musical from any time I could have been watching a clip from 1977.

 

Ira Madison III I mean, also, they were making out for a long ass time after, you know, the number. I was like.

 

Louis Virtel Stop.

 

Ira Madison III I was like, What’s going on? He’s married. Unhand him. I love the musical numbers, too, because like, the whole point of the Tonys, too, is like what’s different? And making this one barebones, it just presenting the theater is the fact that the majority of Americans are watching this. It’s an advertisement, more so than even the Oscars or Emmys is right. Like, you’re usually watching the Oscars and the Emmys because you’ve seen what is being presented.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, you have an idea of what the movies are anyway, correct. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III You know, you know what the movies are. You know, like, what Kimberly Akimbo is in theory, but, you know, you need to hear a song from it. And that is what inspires people to then be like, Oh, I want to get tickets to go and see this show.

 

Louis Virtel Right, right, right. No, like even me, like I’m somebody who knows what Kimberly akimbo is. But I had never actually just watched the clip of Victoria Clark. Like, Oh, that’s the nature of this show. We’re getting a little bit of Robin Williams in Jack.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. While dressing like Clarissa Explains It All.

 

Louis Virtel She so was, Oh, my God. The ladder coming up to the window. Here’s Sam.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. The winners. Listen.

 

Louis Virtel Plenty of interesting winners, even though there were not many surprises.

 

Ira Madison III No. And here’s the thing. Like you could sort of like, guess what’s going to be winning? You know, the Leopold Start payola was strong. It’s a very important story.

 

Louis Virtel I went out to lunch or dinner with my friend Richard Lawson, seconds after he saw that. He’s the Vanity Fair film critic, and he seemed moved and a little bit paralyzed by it. So I feel like that’s the kind of thing that wins Best Play, you know.

 

Ira Madison III Tom Stoppard.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Also, Tom Stoppard being here and dropping little A.I. jokes did not expect that. Love that. Not somebody who gave us like a classic play in 1967 or eight or whatever. He said, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. This man just still walking around. That’s amazing.

 

Ira Madison III And Coast of Utopia, which is actually still on.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, yeah. You didn’t leave.

 

Ira Madison III Left, left, left the theater a few years ago. And I think there in Act 97 so far. But I should finally see Leopoldstadt now. I do love Patrick Marber, so I wish he would go back to writing insted of directing.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, yeah. But speaking of.

 

Ira Madison III I loved Closer.

 

Louis Virtel Speaking of directing, by the way, though, a friend of mine won the directing of a musical Tony, Michael Arden, and he gave a speech that was I’d never seen anything like that on television. It was so exciting. So what happened was he said, he’s gay guy. He said, I’ve been called the F-word my entire life and look at me now. I’m a fagot with a Tony. Now, on the broadcast, they bleeped out that entire sentence, so you probably couldn’t even guess what he said, even though you might maybe see that he said Fagot. I am, I don’t want to say blown away by the takes. I’ve heard about this, but I saw somebody say online. I respect that. Some people think the F-word is unacceptable no matter what. How about you open your fucking ears. This is somebody who’s been called the word his entire life, and you’re in the Tony’s word. They hear this word all the time. Everybody in that room has been called the for the entire life. I was thrilled to hear the word fagot, and it’s full gusto. Spoken on that telecast.

 

Ira Madison III Because we’re FWA, okay? We’re Fagots With Attitude.

 

Louis Virtel We pitch that as the title of this podcast. And Tommy Vidor said, I’m not sure. He adjusted his collar like the white guy in the Baby Got Back video.

 

Ira Madison III I love that. Like the theater erupted for that.

 

Louis Virtel Everybody was living. The faces were will

 

Ira Madison III Evan Hansen jumped up.

 

Louis Virtel There’s 14 of them, by the way. They’re all five one and flaming, even though that role is not gay.

 

Ira Madison III But what this book presupposes is maybe he is. Alex Newell was excited. It was funny seeing McCain on time and, you know, laughing, too. I loved the speeches. I loved the speeches. I loved Alex Newell winning for being the first non-binary actor to win. And then right after that, Jay Hurst Gay was the second nonbinary actor to win

 

Louis Virtel We’re suddenly sick of non-binary people winning. It’s over now.

 

Ira Madison III Non-binary? Seems like it’s all binary.

 

Louis Virtel Also, it made me think about the categories in which we divide these people for awards. There’s obviously been talk about the Oscars eliminating gendered categories, but then you think about it and it’s like actor is not a gendered word. So and most performers identify as an actor. So if you if you don’t fit into the categories, might you just submit yourself an actor? But then you think, well, if there is that category, why would you need a category called actress? Anyway, it’s complicated.

 

Ira Madison III Actress is Latin for lesser actor.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, that’s right. They’re actually three inches shorter, that Oscar.

 

Ira Madison III And the roles not as good.

 

Louis Virtel No, no. I mean, that continues to be a conversation that bubble up over the next couple of years. But I just had never thought of the fact that actor is what any performer would call themselves. So if you don’t identify as you know, if you’re non binary, you might just submit yourself in the actor category. And look, it worked out.

 

Ira Madison III I mean, listen, I call women actors. I’d like the word actor.

 

Louis Virtel To their face and then you spit on them. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Come here, you actor.

 

Louis Virtel Just an actor. Full Hitchcock. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III So I like the word, but actor versus actress. Who’s having that conversation? Not us. So, moving on. What musicals did you like? What? What what inspired you to be like? I want to go and see this one. Which ones were you like? Oh, no, about that one.

 

Louis Virtel Well, I’ll start with plays. First of all, I had seen Goodnight Eye’s Oscar, obviously, with Sean Hayes. Fabulous performance. I’ve said, like he plays Oscar Levant, this guy with this mordant wit and amazing pianist. And you get to see that skill in the shot when there’s a piano solo he does that is just eye popping. You’re giving full Beatlemania in the audience with everybody. So it’s not a surprise he won, even though he’s up against some heavy hitters like Yahya Abdul-mateen and Stephen McKinley. Henderson Which you cannot throw a nickel at a A24 movie without him popping up. But man, I have to say, the star for me of the night is Jodie Comer and this prima facie show where she’s the only performer. Did you know that Jodie Comer won a Tony for the first time she has ever been on a stage?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel That is zany.

 

Ira Madison III It’s a great role. It’s a great play. SO

 

Louis Virtel I think you got three weeks to see it, if you want to go see it. So.

 

Ira Madison III You know, Jessica was pressed.

 

Louis Virtel And she because she dressed the part of the winner.

 

Ira Madison III She wants an EGOT. It is she is she’s coming back.

 

Louis Virtel Because the heart obviously the hardest ones to get when you have when you want an EGOT are Oscar and Tony. Once you clear those, you can you can basically like. Put it on ice for a few years like the Emmys and the Grammys will roll around eventually. You read an audiobook, It’s coming to you.

 

Ira Madison III First of all, it’s her fault anyway, because The Doll’s House closed on June 10th, so you can’t even go see it if she had won, were they going to extend it or something so people could see it? Like it closed. So, lazy heifer.

 

Louis Virtel And also she up in left that man and she’s not coming back so the doors are open shut. Torvald already said I’m moving on with my life.

 

Ira Madison III She stood up and said, Don’t refer to me as a doll. That is what transwomen call themselves. And then she stormed out.

 

Louis Virtel Really prescient. Henrik Ibsen play. I have to say, I really want to see Some Like It Hot. Not that I didn’t want to before. We talked about it with Amber Ruffin, the co-writer of it while she was here.

 

Ira Madison III It is so fucking good. Yes. Amber Ruffin. It’s it’s. Oh, and like such a great cast. You can see why they brought Amber Ruffin in. You know, Matthew Lopez was also a co-writer. But, you know, judging from the inheritance, the stage is a lot darker than that play.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, right. I was not super enamored of Shucked, which is a play about a musical about corn, even though everybody in it is giving it the For Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, like, you know, hootenanny type dancing.

 

Ira Madison III Except they all look like they live in Fort GREENE and are shucking corn. So that was interesting. And I really loved also, I haven’t seen it yet and I haven’t really listened to the cast recording because I tried not to do that before I see a show. I was like, These have to be just two songs being mashed up, because Alex Newell walking out to sing a note and then walking away.

 

Louis Virtel By the way, I’m in this.

 

Ira Madison III Does that sound like the show?

 

Louis Virtel Oh, another show I will not be seeing, even though I think Lorna Courtney is an awesome singer and she performs.

 

Ira Madison III & Juliet.

 

Louis Virtel Since You’ve Been Gone with Kelly Clarkson on her show recently, & Juliet. I do not need to see Katy Perry songs sung on a Tony eligible show. Like I don’t want to see Moulin Rouge. I don’t want to see whatever the fuck. This raw also sucks with all respect to my girl Bonnie McKee, who is coming back. The songwriter Bonnie McKee, is allegedly releasing a bunch of ten years ago. Okay, moving right along. Moving. I always root for the songwriter girls. You know, when someone like even though like, Sia is not my thing, the fact that she found a spotlight for herself, you know, it’s like in the tradition of Carole King or something.

 

Ira Madison III Like that root for Kerry Hill said.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, I would it not you’re okay.

 

Ira Madison III She’s been knocked down. She still hasn’t got up.

 

Louis Virtel I just want to say about that song in 2009, you could not get away from that song. And now you never hear that song.

 

Ira Madison III Except you know what you hear all the fucking time now. Pretty Girl Rock?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, I do hear that all the time, which is fine.

 

Ira Madison III Listen, & Juliet is a fun musical. I had a really good time. What’s interesting is that was also a bad performance to pick for me because it’s just like, Oh, here’s Katy Perry.

 

Louis Virtel Right.

 

Ira Madison III I would have picked one of the like, Britney songs. Or there’s a moment where they sing Kesha’s Blow when they get to this party in Paris. Like, that’s really fun. And it uses like the whole company. And I get that she was nominated. But I don’t know what I think about Tony performances that I want to watch, and that’s why I love the Some Like It Hot one because. You know us like. Like when we be at after parties, right? For years, it’s always like, throw on.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Something from the Tonys. It’s like.

 

Louis Virtel If anything goes fast or whatever. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III And so you want to see something fun, you want to see something entertaining. And I’m like, I don’t want to hear this girl sing Roar. And also that’s not even in the show. It’s like so at the end, after she’s triumphant, like that’s the sort of like, Oh, I’m coming out to sing this. And now the audience is on their feet by clapping along.

 

Louis Virtel It’s just it’s giving Now That’s What I Call Music Volume 77. I mean, I can’t be thrilled about that.

 

Ira Madison III There are some really good mixes in it. Um, there’s a Bon Jovi song. It’s My Wife that’s like, amazing in the show.

 

Louis Virtel And by the way, the period of Jon Bon Jovi’s life when he was the hottest, when he was on the VH1 Top 20 Countdown. That’s when he was hot.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. When he was replacing Robert Downey Jr on Ally McBeal.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, yes, I remember it well. Yeah. The days of Vonda and Roses. Yes.

 

Ira Madison III But it’s really fun. I will say, if you do go see & Juliet, there’s a jump scare at the end when they perform that Justin Timberlake trolls are.

 

Louis Virtel No.

 

Ira Madison III Can’t stop the feeling is in & Juliet with the.

 

Louis Virtel Oscar nominated Can’t Stop the Feeling.

 

Ira Madison III Which I think honestly precludes it from ever winning a Tony.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Oh, that can’t be in a Tony Award nominated show. Come on.

 

Ira Madison III It was a Jump scare, Louis.  I was having such a good time. It was like one of the last socks of the show. And I audibly screamed.

 

Louis Virtel That is tough. That is very tough. So Michael Arden won a Tony for directing Parade that starred Ben Platt. What did you think of that performance? What an unusual vocal tone he was sort of holding. I don’t know anything about singing. He held this vibrato the entire time, and it’s sort of a sort of a haunting performance from him.

 

Ira Madison III It felt like a theragun. I loved that. It was very soothing.

 

Louis Virtel Yes.

 

Ira Madison III I love Ben’s voice and I’m very excited that I’m seeing. I’m very excited that I’m seeing Parade in a couple of weeks. Of course, I get to see Ben and I also get to see my friend Jay A. Johnson, who is in it as well. I just. I love that music. I love Jason, Robert Brown, you know, And so. I’m always happy to see a new Jason Robert Brown musical.

 

Louis Virtel Ben and his boyfriend.

 

Ira Madison III No, I’m always happy to see a Jason Robert Brown musical, New or Revival, whichever.

 

Louis Virtel Ben Platt and his boyfriend, who also was in Dear Evan Hansen, Noah Galvin, were there, and they really were. And sometimes I think to myself when people look back at 2022 or 23, like, what is the clothes we were wearing? Like, what will be like the, you know, the leisure suits of our time? Well, let me tell you, it is what they were wearing to the Tonys. Like the kind of oversize gray, like cinched suits that have, like a bit of women’s wear in them. But. But a bit of athletics, too. Anyway, just look at that. I think that is what we will look back and think, Oh, that was a red carpet look for 20, 22, 2023 when we both have those in five years.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. 3 a.m. on MTV.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Right.

 

Ira Madison III In 1984. That’s the vibe

 

Louis Virtel That’s exactly right.

 

Ira Madison III That’s the vibe. That’s the one. It’s very. It’s very. The look of love. Yeah. Sorry. It’s very. It’s very. She’s got the look.

 

Louis Virtel It’s very. Stop making sense. The talking heads.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. Yes. If I had any inclination for seeing Camelot, I was quickly dissuaded.

 

Louis Virtel That was not compelling.

 

Ira Madison III That was. That was not it.

 

Louis Virtel Also just Sorkin on the stage? I’m not not sure I get that. We want that Mamet voice of, like, cockiness and verbosity, but just not for me.

 

Ira Madison III Well, then write a new play.

 

Louis Virtel Right.

 

Ira Madison III Also, like, come on, I don’t want to see Camelot. It’s not for me. But Jordan Danica is so hot and like, you know, we went from Daveed Diggs to him. Broadway also always has to have sort of like a masculine man who’s light skinned with curly hair.

 

Louis Virtel Just like Sarah Bareilis, who performed Into The Woods.

 

Ira Madison III One of my favorite light skin singers.

 

Louis Virtel Yes, right. She is suddenly over the past couple of years has not taken long become an essential Broadway figure. Like, she better not leave that stage If she isn’t something, you have to go see it. There’s the the incredible purity of her voice and the sincerity of her voice. She conveys sincerity so well.

 

Ira Madison III And she was really, really good at. Like rival Joanna Gleason’s Baker’s wife.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Right. Class Joanna Gleason royalty to me. And not just because of Broadway, but because her father is whom.

 

Ira Madison III She’s an old white woman.

 

Louis Virtel That, too. Her father is Monty Hall, the host, the host of Let’s Make a Deal.

 

Ira Madison III I thought her father was Jackie Gleason.

 

Louis Virtel Now incorrect. Much as we love him and upset bus drivers across the country.

 

Ira Madison III Well. To the moon with you, Joanna. My dumbest joke.

 

Louis Virtel Also, this may be the most CIS thing I’ve ever said. Arianna Debose looked fucking hot with longer hair. I was happy to see her do new hair.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, baby. The breasts were breasting.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Oh, yeah, that too.

 

Ira Madison III And the like. This long gown, too old when she came out in this, like, sort of like this robe, she looked like she was in Waiting to Exhale.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Wow. You took me back.

 

Ira Madison III Where’s Waiting to Exhale the musical, by the way. I would watch the fuck out of that.

 

Louis Virtel You really? The image of Layla Rochon just flung to my mind. So that’s very exciting. Yeah. No, I mean, like with the long hair. And she really had Scherzinger vibes, you know, And, I mean, like, that kind of, like, showgirl swag.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. No. She, I mean, she was a fucking star during the show and, and.

 

Louis Virtel And she, of course, by the way, had to improvise at the beginning, talking about the WGA and how the theater stood in solidarity with the WGA. And she did a great job with that too. She really didn’t take even a beat too long. She had a couple of jokes and then moved it along. Was really well done.

 

Ira Madison III Although that’s how you know that anyone was ever like really making fun of her for the BAFTAs thing, even though it was BAFTA-ling.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. You need to stop writing for Variety on the board, you need to.

 

Ira Madison III Stop the BAFTAs. BAFTA-tled. But she was just so good. And now it’s just like, well, what was the conversation earlier? Because, look, I’m like, I’m a fucking triple threat, quadruple threat, bitch.

 

Louis Virtel Right.

 

Ira Madison III She is. She is. She really is. The moment I was so impressed with her during that show, like she was really, really good.

 

Louis Virtel Cook trivia for you. So we had Patricia Arquette on today. We had Ariana Debose on the show before. Can you name the three other best supporting actress winners we’ve had on Keep It. Go.

 

Ira Madison III Girl. Ah, wait.

 

Louis Virtel Tick tock, tick tock.

 

Ira Madison III Marcia Gay Harden.

 

Louis Virtel That’s one. Yes.

 

Ira Madison III Um, Kathleen Turner.

 

Louis Virtel No. Best actress nominee in 1986, didn’t win.

 

Ira Madison III Um, uh, what other old people we had on the show?

 

Louis Virtel We had Miss Rachel Weisz.

 

Ira Madison III Oh, wait, no, we’ve had.

 

Louis Virtel We had one more.

 

Ira Madison III Mary Steenburgen.

 

Louis Virtel And Mary Steenburgen.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, yes, yes.

 

Louis Virtel By the way, this consider this a cattle call to all the remaining ones. Get your Alzheimer here.

 

Ira Madison III How many are left?

 

Louis Virtel Quite a few. I mean, they they left. Vanessa Redgrave is still with us. They go back and back. Shirley Jones is still with us. She won in 1960.

 

Ira Madison III Who are who?

 

Louis Virtel Who are Eva marie Saint? Get your ass here.

 

Ira Madison III Who are five that you could reasonably see coming on this show that we should have on it.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Cate Blanchett.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Well, yes.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Jennifer Hudson would love to talk with Jennifer Hudson.

 

Ira Madison III Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Come here, Monique. Chris was one of the great interviewees. Monique, I would love to have Monique on the show.

 

Ira Madison III I just got to talk to Monique about her stand up.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, that too, Right? She has a new stand up. And let’s see here. Viola Davis, of course.

 

Ira Madison III Mm hmm.

 

Louis Virtel And I’ll pick a more class with Angelica Houston. Your time is now.

 

Ira Madison III Hmm. Okay. Oh, I have two.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, go ahead.

 

Ira Madison III My girl, Penelope Cruz.

 

Louis Virtel Absolutely. Excuse me. I actually thought about this recently. I feel like Penelope Cruz does not come up on this podcast a lot. And let me say something. Here’s me leaving a movie that Penelope Cruz was in. She did it again. That’s me leaving a Penelope Cruz movie. She is so solid. She’s like the lifeguard at Mother Lake. Please. She saves lesser divas who fall into Mother Lake. She’s like, Come here, Naomi Watts, I’m pulling you out of the water.

 

Ira Madison III And the other one? Marisa Tomei.

 

Louis Virtel Of course. Of course. Three nominations. All of them. Fabulous.

 

Ira Madison III Wow. And one win.

 

Louis Virtel That’s correct. 1992. Strong category that year.

 

Ira Madison III What else was she nominated for?

 

Louis Virtel In the Bedroom and The Wrestler.

 

Ira Madison III Oh.

 

Louis Virtel And she won for Anthony. Yes. Fabulous movie. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III I love The Bedroom. And The Wrestler. Aronofsky. By the way, before we move on. Someone tweeted out how Julia Roberts was on Erin Brockovich, which was like one of the best wins in the past few decades. It’s a great fucking performance. So then some people in the comments being like, Yeah, it’s so hard, though, because Ellen Burstyn was, you know, nominated that year. And let me tell you something. I in 2000, in that era, like, yes, we’re constantly talking about Requiem for a Dream. I don’t think about that movie anymore.

 

Louis Virtel I do have to say I will never see that movie again. Even though Ellen Burstyn absolutely torched it.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, she did. But I think that like, oh, that movie’s legacy has not held up.

 

Louis Virtel Erin Brockovich is just the rare combination of utter star power and utter like actress performance. Like they really like the X and Y access. There are epic.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Meanwhile, Requiem for a Dream was like that, but was in Saw.

 

Louis Virtel Yes.

 

Ira Madison III Right. Like Darren Aronofsky was like, cackling over a loudspeaker once before.

 

Louis Virtel I don’t like thinking about Jennifer Connelly in that movie either. That really upsets me. Yeah, that’s another. That’s another person who should be on the show. She seems fine, actually.

 

Ira Madison III It’s very weird that we haven’t. We’ve talked about her.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, with Daveed Diggs, because she was on that Snowpiercer show.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, Yeah, that show happened anyway. We’ll be right back with Patricia Arquette.

 

<AD>

 

Ira Madison III So I have been obsessed with our next guest since I was scared to death watching a VHS of Dream Warriors as a kid. This is a capital actor with an Oscar for her supporting role in Boyhood Emmy nominees for Severance, Medium and Escape at Dannemora, and a win for The Act and all around corporation with literally been in some of your favorite films from True Romance, Lost Highway, Stigmata and now you can catch her and Apple TV’s Hilarious High Desert. Please welcome to Keep It The remarkable Patricia Arquette.

 

Patricia Arquette Hello. Hi, guys.

 

Ira Madison III Hi.

 

Patricia Arquette Hello.

 

Louis Virtel You’re one of these people.

 

Patricia Arquette Well.

 

Louis Virtel I have to say, like you, it seems like you love weirding us out with your talent. Like, every time you get a new role, I’m like, What’s this thing going to turn up like? And it’s not going to be the thing we saw before. It’s going to have like, a lot of contradictory personality traits that’ll be exciting and a little alien occasionally. Tell me about High Desert and what you like about this character.

 

Patricia Arquette So right before High Desert I did Severance, which is very beautiful, controlled kind of sci fi retro, kind of claustrophobic, very contained character for the main character cabal. And then this is the opposite. This is like a crazy farce. It’s a counter-culture comedy. My character is sober ish. She’s like a hot mess, Tasmanian devil creating drama everywhere she goes. And it’s really silly and funny.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I’m like, I was immediately drawn in by, one, the Palm Springs setting, which I feel like more things should be set there.

 

Patricia Arquette That’s right. That’s right. And I’m sure was. We we’re going to start a trend here, please. I’m bringing people to Palm Springs, right?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Forget Vegas, okay? Do more things in Palm Springs.

 

Patricia Arquette Exactly.

 

Louis Virtel Because then you can go and film somewhere. Yes, I. Oh, that too. Well, go to that.

 

Patricia Arquette And Paris.  Let’s go.

 

Louis Virtel I just feel like in Palm Springs.

 

Patricia Arquette Peggy goes to Paris. I could see it now.

 

Louis Virtel It feels like you shoot during the day in Palm Springs. Then at night, you go and watch Dionne Warwick perform or something. It just seems so ideal.

 

Patricia Arquette Well, Bernadette Peters is on our show.

 

Louis Virtel Yes.

 

Patricia Arquette How about that.

 

Ira Madison III Yes.

 

Patricia Arquette She performs in Palm Springs. I mean, let’s Keep It in the family. Shall we?

 

Ira Madison III Ah, I want to ask, you know, a bit about, um, you know, going back to you mentioned severance, and that was, you know, was like such a such a great show, by the way. I’m obsessed with it. You’re working with Ben Stiller on this, on that, you know, as a director. And Louis and I recently revisited, ah, Flirting with Disaster, where, you know, I believe that’s where you first met and started working with Ben. So what is your relationship, Ben, like over the years, starting as working opposite one another and now he’s directed you in two shows?

 

Patricia Arquette Well, he actually produced High Desert. Jay Roach corrected it all the episodes they they had done Meet the Fockers together. Mm hmm. But Ben did direct me and Severance most of the episodes. And a Woman and Ifa also directed a couple of those episodes. But the time between working as actors together on Flirting with Disaster and then working with Ben as a director on Escape at Dannemora, we we did. And then we did severance together again as a him directing me. We didn’t really talk through the years. I mean, I think we may have bumped into each other once or twice. So I was very surprised when he called me about escape at Dannemora and excited because I had followed that case. I love working with him and I love his taste and he’s a real perfectionist and I love his notes and. Yeah, I really am very appreciative for this creative collaborations.

 

Louis Virtel We’ve had something I loved seeing you did, and actors on Actors with Julia Roberts not long ago. And in thinking about it, I realized you guys are basically worked the same amount of time, like became famous around the same time, like in all these prestige projects over the years and stuff. What actors do over the years do you have you related to most? Because I think of you as such a specific one of a kind. Again, a fascinating actor to watch. And I wonder who else fascinates you and is just exciting to you as a colleague.

 

Patricia Arquette I mean, I think Viola Davis is one of the greatest living actors there are. And her work is always so powerful and she can play so many different kind of characters. And I always believe her in whatever she does. I love Joaquin Phenix. I think his works always really for moving. Daniel Day-Louis is an incredible actor. I always look forward to what he’s got going on. You know, there’s a lot of really wonderful actors. I kind of I don’t really know that much of the newest generation of young people. I’m just there’s so much content right now and I don’t feel like I’m up to date on all the youngest people stuff. So I know that there’s you know, Timothee CHalumet is doing interesting work. But I really don’t know that much about the young people.

 

Louis Virtel Well, let me just say, as we are people who allegedly keep up on pop culture and you never feel like you watch everything. I think that I think that feeling is over. That ended in like 2005.

 

Patricia Arquette I mean, we used to have like four channels. You know, it was like Charlie’s Angels on Tuesday night. We were all watching.

 

Ira Madison III Every one I brought up at the beginning, you know, literally one of my favorite movies. And I know it’s where you got your start. A Nightmare on Elm Street, three working of Wes Craven script. Not with him directly, but I have to ask about, you know, starting out in a horror film and then going on to do so many, like, weird sort of films, you know, like Lost Highway and like a Stigmata. Like, is that something that you were very drawn to sort of early in your career? Is it like a sensibility that you like, or was it just like I started out in this horror movie and then all of a sudden these are the roles that I’m getting?

 

Patricia Arquette I love horror movies. I love horror movies. I want to do more and more harm because not only horror movies, but I really, really like them. I mean, the original Suspiria is incredible. Yeah, no, I’ve been obsessed with that for many years. The which was great recently. There’s so many Rosemary’s Baby, The Shining. I mean, I loved The Omen, The Exorcist. Okay, forget about it. I love horror movies.

 

Louis Virtel It feels like even your comedies have, like, some darkness and them to it. You say darkness is a defining, just quality you like exploring and work.

 

Patricia Arquette Well, I don’t think so much with Peggy. I mean, Peggy is a pain in the ass. Yeah. Peggy will rip you off. Peggy will lie to you. She’ll also take care of you. She’s a very confusing mess, but she’s not evil. Where? I mean, I have been, like, in The Act, well, hold on a second. You know you’re torturing your child. So lately, I have been playing a lot of scary women, and that’s really fun, I’ll tell you that. But I don’t think Peggy in High Desert is really one of those. I kind of broke away from my monster phase that I’ve been in.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, It’s so exciting seeing, you know, I mean, talking about all the content for one, but, you know, like this and severance, it’s like it’s really seems like there’s a lot of really good stuff happening on Apple TV that I’ve been discovering lately, so I’m excited for that. Yeah. At least get out for you to do, you know, two shows with them, so.

 

Patricia Arquette Yeah. And they’re so opposite. I mean, for me, it’s like, you know, High Desert is like a Coen brothers farce. Counterculture, you know, irreverent. Disaster. Silly comedy. I mean, I get to drive around in a dune buggy like the 1970s. It’s really fun.

 

Louis Virtel I thought of Raising Arizona when I was watching it, so I’m glad to hear that that connection was made by the people in the show, too. Something I was fascinated by that I read recently. Obviously, True Romance is a fabulous performance from you. I just feel like you made that character more dimensional, that it is on the page. There’s something about even just watching your facial expressions from moment to moment. I’m like, This character is so much deeper just by virtue of you playing her. But but you also it was a difficult role for you because there were aspects of the character you didn’t relate to. Like you become more engrossed by Christian Slater after he kills somebody. And I have to say like that, trepidation does not appear on the screen. I was fascinated that that was such a conflicting experience for you.

 

Patricia Arquette Yeah, I had to work with my acting teacher about that because after he kills someone, he comes back and he’s eating a hamburger and I start crying and he’s like, Why are you crying? Right? Why are you crying? And I am supposed to say what you did was so romantic. I was like, you know, how do I do that? Oh, and, you know, sometimes as an audience member, you might watch something and think she means that. Between my acting teacher, Roy London and I. He was like, Hey, girl, the minute that guy walks in and, you know, he killed someone, he’s a killer, and you better keep him on your side. So you better convince him you love him and convince him it’s all okay because you don’t want to end up dead. So that’s what I was secretly playing under there. I wasn’t playing. This is so romantic that you killed somebody. I was playing. Whoa. You’re a murderer and you’re a crazy person, and. Whoa! And you’re turning on me now. Oh, no, baby. I got to make it all good with you. You know, so it’s funny sometimes as an actor, you know, you have your own blocks of your own moral code or your own way of thinking, and you just don’t know how to make it believable because you don’t know how to play that moment. And you may be thinking something totally different than the audience ever gets.

 

Ira Madison III That’s so interesting, you know, because, I mean, I really enjoy that movie and I love Tony Scott’s directing. And I, you know, like, I could you could sort of like imagine like, well, how is he doing all this? Get out? Because it’s not very natural Born Killers. It’s like she’s she’s a normal person. And then now, hearing your reading of that, it’s so exciting. I like I can’t wait to rewatch that. With that in mind, are there any other roles that you might have had where you feel like, you know, this character is completely opposite of like what I would do in a moment and maybe you made like a choice that might surprise some of us who watched it.

 

Patricia Arquette Well, so many of them. But another one was in true amounts in that big fight scene with James Gandolfini. But it was a little different, you know, just figuring out how to play that scene for me. And with my coach, it was like, oh, at first she’s like, Hey, my boyfriend’s a football player is going to be back. You know, she’s saying kind of all this stuff. So really, she’s trying to buy time so her boyfriend can come save her. You know, that gender bias thing. She has it, too, and she thinks her boyfriend’s going to show up with his gun in time and save her. So she’s stalling around for time and then she tries to suddenly charm it and be charming and, you know, and then that’s not working. And now he’s explaining how he’s going to kill you or what it was like when he first killed someone. This is very interesting because he explains towards the beginning of that scene how he threw up the first time he killed someone.

 

Ira Madison III Mm hmm.

 

Patricia Arquette He’s saying this to her before he’s getting ready to kill her. But by the end of the scene, she’s now the person who has just killed their first person. He’s almost explaining to her how you’re going to feel once you kill me. Now, that’s all subconscious that, you know, he doesn’t realize that. But at a certain point in the scene, she realizes my boyfriend’s not coming back in time. Oh, my God. It’s on. I’m going to use this little tool I have, and I’m even scared to do that. And now you’re freaking out. Now we’re. We’re at it with each other. And by the end, after she kills him, it’s like, I can’t kill you dead enough. I’m beating you, and you’re dead already with the gun I already killed you with, like such like, it’s such a such a transformation of person. And by the end, she is the killer who just killed their first person.

 

Ira Madison III I love that. I have to. I then have to wonder, You know, I love Lost Highway. I watch a lot of David Lynch films. So what was your acting process like doing, doing uh doing a David Lynch film?

 

Patricia Arquette First of all, David Lynch is a genius. And, you know, I was like, David, am I to people? Am I ghost? Am I a hallucination? What am I here? What do you think, Arquette? What do you think? So I decided I had to decide something. I was going to lose my mind again. How do you play something when you don’t have. You have to make specific choices as an actor. So I decided. That, Fred, was this, you know, modern man. He considered himself a modern man. But underneath was this monster. And he was super jealous. And you see little glimpses of it when he comes home from work. He touches the hood of a car to see her car, to see if she left, if her car hood is warm. And there’s this weird way they communicate. And David would have us take a lot of time between our lines. So it’s almost some non ballistic, almost hypnotic like. How was your night? Way, way, way fine. How was yours? Way, way.

 

Ira Madison III Very pentre.

 

Patricia Arquette Oh yeah. And a lot of tension between them. And at that point, I think she was sort of like a panther going. I’m just going to starve you. To death. Of emotion. Thanks to you’ll go away. Because I’m kind of scared of you.

 

Ira Madison III Mm hmm.

 

Patricia Arquette So suddenly these these videotapes are showing up right out of their bedroom, going into their bedroom. Anyway. When she gets killed, he gets arrested. He’s like, I’m innocent. What’s going on? But then when he’s in prison, he starts getting these horrible headaches and suddenly he transforms into this young boy who miraculously meets her. So. And now, this time, she desires him. She wants to have sex with him. She’s in love with him. So the idea that I had was. This is looking at women through the eyes of a misogynist. Fred couldn’t admit to himself that he’s a murderer, kind of like O.J. Simpson. I think at a certain point he believed he was innocent. And then. And then he meets her again. And now they’re together. But even in it, you know, even his fantasy, she’s a horrid, terrible person. Because it’s looking at women through the eyes of this misogynist. They’re always going to turn out to be monsters, but they’re always going to be your fantasy person. And they’re going to love you and then hate you and destroy you. And it’s just a cycle of that. Does that make sense?

 

Ira Madison III Yes, absolutely.

 

Louis Virtel No, I have to ask, have you ever taught acting? I’m thinking actually of you were in Sean Penn’s directorial effort, the Indian runner with one of my favorite actresses ever, Sandy Dennis, who was a teacher at the end of her life, too.

 

Patricia Arquette Wow. Wow.

 

Louis Virtel And I just think of I actually think of you both are kind of alike. Like, I feel like if you show up to set, there’s a specific energy and thing you bring in. It’s like, okay, what can we work with here? There’s this. There’s so much to work with for like, a good director. Have you ever taught before?

 

Patricia Arquette Now. I’ve not. Not really. I mean, I’ve given a couple of little speeches at different acting classes. A friend of mine who passed away, I used to teach acting, and I went in one day and talked to the students. But no, not really. But I really appreciate acting teachers and I get a lot out of acting teaching teachers when I work with them, and I’d like to take some more classes. I mean, I feel like you can never stop learning and maybe someday I would want to teach. I don’t know.

 

Louis Virtel Because you’re just so explicit about the choices, which I don’t feel like is a given for every actor. You know what I mean? It feels like you have the words picked out per intention every time.

 

Patricia Arquette I think it turns me on. Research turns me on. Unders looking at things a certain way. Human behavior and why we act a certain way. And my dad. I’m a fourth generation actor, right? My great grandparents were struggle living six people in a room doing Vaudeville. My dad struggled as an actor to, you know, support all seven of us. And my grandfather was in live radio and live television. So early television. So for me. Acting, you know, is a part of our family conversation. My dad would talk about acting and choices and so on. My mom was a therapist, so she would talk about this person, the narcissist. Oh, that’s so interesting. This person in the DMS would be categorized that other. So I started to look at the psychology and the subconscious behavior. And I like to layer those together.

 

Louis Virtel I think that’s accurate. And thank you for saying that. That’s like a very interesting key into what you do.

 

Patricia Arquette Thank you.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I mean, recalling, you know, what you thought on set and these choices. I mean, I feel like since you’ve worked with everyone, by the way, almost, you know, I feel like you’re just a mark of a charmed chapter. You know, I like working with Michel Gondry, working with Martin Scorsese. You know, I just think that, like, making choices with these specific directors and their specific minds, I feel like so many actors would want to know, like, what is this like?

 

Patricia Arquette Yeah, And it’s kind of incredible. I feel like the the majority of the directors I worked with have been men in the past, and that’s kind of the way that it always was. And I felt like for me, so many of them were like great dads. I mean, Tony Scott for me was such a pivotal, pivotal director because I was very young when I did True Romance, and I was already stubborn a little bit. But every idea I’d have for that part. You feel like that’s a great idea. Everyone, Batman’s got this idea we’re going to do today. The only one time. That whole. That whole time did he say, I don’t know about that idea? And then we shot it and I said, okay, no problem. And we shot it. And then he goes, No, but you were right. We’re going to shoot it Batman’s way now. And Christian Slater would always have these ideas and Tony be like, That’s a terrible thing. But like, why do you listen to her idea? So what I got from that as a young girl actress who was being cast as the girl from the girlfriend was Trust your instincts and you’re smart and listen to yourself. And a good director is going to take it and run with it. They’re not going to fight you every inch of the way. Every thought you have everything you know, a lot of sometimes directors, even sometimes a lot of directors will resist anything their actor wants to try that isn’t in their mind already. And what happens is you stagnate. Your actors at least let them do it that way. Say, go for it. You guys do whatever you want to do. Great. Then say, you know what, let’s try one like this. But if you just are constantly on them, like, No, not like that. Do it like this. Do it like even before you shoot. Hey, let’s talk about this scene. Okay? So you’re doing this and you’re saying it like that. Like. No, man. It’s it’s you’re already you know, you’re already smothering everybody before we even see what it is.

 

Louis Virtel I one of my favorite like smaller roles of years, but a bewitching role is your role in Ed Wood. What was the interaction between you and Tim Burton like? Because I feel like that’s a pretty interesting and like, awesome match. Like, I’d be like, Oh yeah, definitely put Tim Burton and Patricia Arquette together. I want to see what happens.

 

Patricia Arquette Well, Tim is like such a visionary and very nice man, and I was a very small part of that movie. I do think it was a kind of a definitely is a pivotal part of that movie. And Ed, you know, and Ed story I got to meet Kathy were on that He set that up and she was the real, you know, wife of Ed Wood. And she told me a great story, She said, and he was like, this one time I was wearing this rust colored suit, you know, skirt suit. And Eddie came to meet me, and he’s like, Stop right there, Kath is stop. And he runs away and I don’t know where he’s going. And he runs back with this gardenia that he’s found. And he’s like, I found the most magical thing. It’s a gardenia, but it’s exactly the color of your soup. She’s like, How do you didn’t know that It was because it was old and dying and, you know, like a dead gardenia turns rust colored. He just thought it was like a magical gardenia. That happened to be the color of my soup. She’s like, That’s how we saw life is this very magical way. And Tim, you know, gave me that opportunity as a young actor to meet her and talk with her and kind of get her spirit. But I mean, between the sets and what Martin Landau was doing, which was incredible and Johnny and everybody. And these try it, you know, periods, set ups. I didn’t get a lot of time with Tim, too. Like, we weren’t getting in deep like that.

 

Louis Virtel I underestimated that you’ll be able to meet that woman. Those movies feel hundreds and hundreds of years ago. The Ed Wood stuff. That’s awesome.

 

Patricia Arquette Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Patricia Arquette Cathy, what a sweetheart. Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Hmm. Well, thank you so much for being here, Patricia.

 

Patricia Arquette Thanks for having me. Yeah. Fun to talk about acting in movies.

 

Louis Virtel We may draft you to do this, like, once a month or something. I can’t. I can’t get enough of. It’s too fun. What a pleasure. Thanks. Oh, my God.

 

Ira Madison III Thank you so much.

 

Patricia Arquette Thank you.

 

<AD>.

 

Ira Madison III Critically acclaimed actor. And after reading this memoir, Iconic, Messy Bitch Elliot Page.

 

Louis Virtel Tea spiller. Putting the T in Tea Spiller.

 

Ira Madison III Released his new memoir, Pageboy and there is a lot of tea in this.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah I was not prepared because Elliot Page is obviously a fabulous actor, a celebrity, but so the quintessential Canadian and I feel like, you know, somebody who I just feel like wants to like, get away from Hollywood and work the land, you know what I mean? So I don’t. I never occurred to me that Elliot Page would be giving us a saucy memoir, but it’s not really saucy so much as people treat Elliot Page like garbage. You know, back when he had come out as a lesbian before that, you know, the way like A-list actors would just say something offhanded or horrible or abusive to a questioning young person is very shocking. I have to say, even if all we got was discussions about how kind of cruelly casual these people can be to Elliot Page, that would have been good. But there’s so much else in this memoir, too. I’m really I love reading how just the voice itself is so great. So fun to read.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Elliot had this great conversation with Raquel Willis recently. You know, I adore Raquel Willis as well, a friend, and she’s a trans activist and writer. Really, It’s just great that we’re getting so many great do like trans voices writing things. That’s what I would say. I mean, because the memoir is a memoir because what have we had before? Like just Janet Mark’s book.

 

Louis Virtel I guess. Yeah. No, you’re right. The the explicitness and the and also just the plain spoken this of Elliot Page, too. It’s not written to be scandalous, you know.

 

Ira Madison III But the scandal. Let’s figure out who the fuck this is.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Yeah. Okay. Read the specifics of this mystery person from the memoir.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. So there was a revelation that Kate Mara and Elliot Page had an affair.

 

Louis Virtel Which I love. And by the way, Kate Mara was on the show, and it did not come up. And I just want to say we are open and, in my opinion, smart, queer people and should have said something at the time.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel But she was too busy talking about Hulu’s, A Teacher, and now I’m upset.

 

Ira Madison III Max Minghella was like, Don’t you talk about that on the show. Anyway, there that revelation happened. But there’s another revelation in the book about a famous A-list actor. Who did this to Elliot Page. Elliot wrote, I told him to stop harassing me, to fuck off, that he was being extremely offensive. I got up again and went inside. He pursued behind. I sat down on a small sofa and he did too. I’m going to fuck you to make you realize you weren’t gay. I’m going to lick your asshole. It’s going to taste like lime. You’re not gay. Wow.

 

Louis Virtel The movie Cruisin. What is happening there?

 

Ira Madison III Speaking of Patrick Barber.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III Sounds like a scene from Closer.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. That is obviously extremely gross behavior. And also, this person sounds so dumb. Wow. I haven’t thought about the reality of the reality of queer people for even a second. A lot of people on Reddit were speculating. One name that popped to everybody’s lips was Chris Pratt. Can I just say, it doesn’t sound like Chris Pratt to me. I can’t picture it.

 

Ira Madison III First of all, God does not let you lick assholes. It’s in the Bible.

 

Louis Virtel Right? So, Leviticus. I check the fine print. Right.

 

Ira Madison III Chris Pratt clutching his crucifix, as is as he’s hearing about This could never be me.

 

Louis Virtel No, no, no, no. Also, I feel like Elliot Page criticized some of Chris Pratt’s religious beliefs or something in previous years, so I don’t think he would be as cagey about it if it were him. I could be wrong.

 

Ira Madison III But yeah, what’s interesting about this blind item is that it happened at a party, which means that it could be anybody. It’s not like it happened on set.

 

Louis Virtel Correct. Correct. To me, it has. I am not accusing this person of being the A-lister. It’s someone who feels older and out of touch to me, or more so. It feels like someone in the area of Ben Affleck. But not Ben Affleck.

 

Ira Madison III Mark Wahlberg.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Yes.

 

Ira Madison III There’s that kind of like you could have. But I can imagine Mark Wahlberg saying, I’m going to fuck you till you’re straight.

 

Louis Virtel I mean, like he’s not, shall we say, the world’s greatest ally. So I can kind of picture that. If you’ve eaten a Wall burger, guess what you’re not? Queer.

 

Ira Madison III Hmm. I’ve eaten a Wall burger.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, well, give up your gay card. There are people who still say gay card, and it makes me violently ill.

 

Ira Madison III I ate it for Donnie.

 

Louis Virtel Who is dating Jenny McCarthy. So you’re still not gay?

 

Ira Madison III It depends which Jenny McCarthy.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Man, did she have it on Singled Out, and I loved her on that sitcom too.

 

Ira Madison III Can we bring back Singled Out?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, we did. On Quibi. Oh, that’s all. Joel Kim Booster and Keke Palmer, who I believe has hosted 150,000 shows.

 

Ira Madison III She still needs to host Keep It.

 

Louis Virtel Right? No she’ll wander right in here. They’ll kick me out. You think they are on the fence about me here.

 

Ira Madison III Hey, Louis, it’s time for you to go. This me and Ira show.

 

Louis Virtel I’ll just take my cue and just walk out.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. It has to be the attitude of someone who’s, you know, like, generally an asshole.

 

Louis Virtel Right, Right.

 

Ira Madison III And they’re shockingly an asshole.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, the. The nerve of it feels not like Chris Pratt to me. Not. I just don’t feel like I’ve heard that kind of story about him. I could be uneducated. It’s not like I’m seeking those stories out, but.

 

Ira Madison III But actors as people, just generally aren’t like humans in general. Actually, it’s very hard to hide your, like, general human nature. Mm hmm. You know, like, if you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole. You’re either a funny one or, like, a evil one. But, like, if that’s what you generally know, who’s an asshole.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, right, right. Yeah. It just feels like somebody who is such an A-lister that they are so used to everybody agreeing to everything they say. And it feels like they’ve been at this a longer time than Chris Pratt. That would be my guess.

 

Ira Madison III Mm hmm. Will Smith. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, my God. That would be bone chilling also.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. He was like fucking a woman made me realize I wasn’t gay.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, I’m going to leave that there. We’ve had Gammy on this show.

 

Ira Madison III It was a joke. Yeah, I almost made a gay joke  about an A-list actor on Watch What Happens Live this week.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, right. When you were the bartender.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. With Jon Hamm and John Slattery.

 

Louis Virtel Which are good to see them back together.

 

Ira Madison III I know they’re in a new movie that Slattery directed with Jon Hamm and Tina Fey reunited. And I love seeing them on screen together.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, I’m excited about that. But Tina didn’t write the movie. I have my misgivings about Tina and things she didn’t write.

 

Ira Madison III Well talking about from licking assholes. There’s a very funny joke about that in the movie.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, you’ve seen the movie?

 

Ira Madison III No, They play a clip.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, I see.

 

Ira Madison III And that. That sentence was uttered by someone when? It’s very funny. See?

 

Louis Virtel Also, I feel like if you put Jon Hamm in front of Andy Cohen, he may spill some stuff.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, it was funny because, you know, like, Jon Hamm never wants to talk about his, like, how Hamm-aconda, as the universe calls it. But of course, if you go to watch what happens live, Andy Cohen was going to make that joke.

 

Louis Virtel No, he’s going to have a poster of it on the wall.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. But he did confirm that he has never sent a dick pic in his life.

 

Louis Virtel Well, I think just the rules are totally different for actors. I’m not surprised.

 

Ira Madison III And straight men.

 

Louis Virtel Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Women aren’t like that. Gay men are like lizard brained animals. They just want everything visually in front of them all the time. It’s why we have Grinder.

 

Ira Madison III Also, His won’t even fit in a picture.

 

Louis Virtel Ansel Adams is like, we have to use the landscape for this one.

 

Ira Madison III He’s got Nessie in those pants. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel Look at you. Are you hosting a drag bingo night right now? Elliot Page, Open discussion. Besides Juno, which, of course, remains one of the definitive performances ever. What’s your favorite Elliot Page performance?

 

Ira Madison III Honestly, you can’t go wrong with Hard Candy.

 

Louis Virtel I would say the same thing. That is one of the most unforgettable movies of that era to me and the interplay with Patrick Wilson, which that wouldn’t have been my first idea for that kind of character, you know, because he to me, reads kind of he he reads to me like his character in Angels in America. You know, there’s like a sort of dead eyed purity about him that he plays really well. And in movies like Little Children, etc..

 

Ira Madison III I love Patrick Wilson.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Love him. Yes. Great.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I mean, he makes those conjuring films.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Which worries me. I feel like.

 

Ira Madison III Maybe they were bored as hell in the last one.

 

Louis Virtel I feel like Mr. Skaarsgard has taken a lot of his coin right now. It’s upsetting me.

 

Ira Madison III I would also say this is a surprise one, maybe, for people, Whip It. Whip It is a is a really, really delightful movie. And it’s Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut.

 

Louis Virtel Correct. I found the movie a little boilerplate, but I liked that all the actors had something fun to do. I mean, you know, like Juliette Louis playing someone in the roller derby. How did that take until 2009 to happen? That is somebody who belongs who should have a pun name that rhymes with Smashley or whatever. Ms. Marcia Gay Harden is the mother in that movie, too.

 

Ira Madison III And also it remains the only film that Drew Barrymore has directed.

 

Louis Virtel I, What’s that about? It’s perfectly well directed. She should do that again.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Maybe she just doesn’t want to.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, I guess.

 

Ira Madison III Where’s Drew? And we got to stop asking people to come on this show. It’s giving desperate.

 

Louis Virtel But by the way, I actually have no I actually have no problem with just asking people at this point. I forgot to mention Lupita Nyong’o earlier. Excuse me, What else are you doing but talking to us? Sorry.

 

Ira Madison III She looks fucking amazing at the Tonys.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, Jesus. I mean, imagine her not looking amazing.

 

Ira Madison III Well.

 

Louis Virtel Lupita Nyong’o looking like garbage at the Oscars. No, like, it doesn’t make sense.

 

Ira Madison III We’ve seen Star Wars.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, that’s true. Well, when they. What was she like, a blob in that?

 

Ira Madison III Eep Op ORKIN.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah.

 

Ira Madison III All right, Well, well, we’re back Keep It. And we’re back with our favorite segment of the episode. It is Keep It. And Louis, I have two Keep Its, and I need to do my first one immediately because it is okay. It is a national emergency.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, alright. Alarm emoji. Okay. What is it?

 

Ira Madison III Gay men.

 

Louis Virtel Yep.

 

Ira Madison III It is summer.

 

Louis Virtel Mm hmm.

 

Ira Madison III It is hot. Put on some fucking deodorant.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, excuse me. If I go to a gay club or whatever, like a warehouse party or whatever, there are truly people I know to avoid because I know what’s going on. And I know it’s going to get on me when they hug me.

 

Ira Madison III Yes, that is actually the main issue. I, listen. We’re men. I like. I like a bit of a musk.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. It can’t be the only thing I smell in the whole fucking room.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. I don’t want to smell as soon as you enter. Okay. Like walking in. Like walking and purse first. And the purse is your B.O.

 

Louis Virtel Right? FeFe LePew, you’re not. I do not want to smell it that quickly.

 

Ira Madison III Here’s the difference, I would say. I’m fine with, like, the gays who don’t want to wear deodorant. I have friends who don’t. Whatever. Take a shower before you come out. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. What if you thought about other people for even one second?

 

Ira Madison III You know, do that then. So then you have the musk. But, like, I feel like some of these girls, they’re like they’re not showering for days.

 

Louis Virtel Also, I’m just saying, like, I get that you want the mask as a sexual thing, but not everyone in the room is going to have sex with you. Think about that. You know, there’s like there’s a bit of a narcissism about it.

 

Ira Madison III I feel like my grandmother, which she used to like when I was a kid, like when I needed to, like, wash my wash of my arm, she’d be like, you need to go and wash them wings.

 

Louis Virtel That’s very cute.

 

Ira Madison III And I’m going to start saying that to people.

 

Louis Virtel Also, get.

 

Ira Madison III The hug is really the hug and that it’s like, okay, well, you know what? I have one by radius Mumbai noise, and now I don’t feel like that anymore.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Yes. I had my own thing going for me. And you’re interrupting that? No, I was with my friend John at a party over the weekend and he came to me deliriously and he said, Can I ask you something? He goes, Somebody just hug me. Who smells so bad? Is it army? Is it army? And it was truly like Silkwood, shower, like I was like all over him making sure nothing was going wrong.

 

Ira Madison III It’s really has one of the great, like, porcelain faces.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, my friend John Howard was very funny on Twitter. He’s very great pop music fan. Yeah. Yeah, he’s very he’s from Brazil. They do it well there. You know what I mean?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. You know, we love a white Brazilian.

 

Louis Virtel Do you? Okay, for the record, Sounds good. Now, should I get some? I Keep It. Then we return to your so I can Keep It.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah, let’s do that.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Very good. My Keep It is minor because that’s a sad occasion for me. Pat Sajak.

 

Ira Madison III Is died?

 

Louis Virtel No. He’s alive. Longtime host of Wheel of Fortune tweeted, Well, the time has come. I’ve decided that our 41st season, which begins in September, will be my last. It’s been a wonderful ride and I’ll have more to say in the coming months. Many thanks to you all. If nothing else, it’ll keep the clickbait sites busy, Keep It to Pat, what lies are people going to spread about you because you’re leaving Wheel of Fortune? Pat Sajak’s leaving Wheel of Fortune and he’s gay. Like, what’s.

 

Ira Madison III What can they.

 

Louis Virtel Bastardize this news.

 

Ira Madison III He used to molest the letters?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, Different vowels coming forward. That’s why I said he treated me as a positive. Would I act like a vowel?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. That is such a funny statement to make about leaving the wheel of fortune. Stop the lies and the slander.

 

Louis Virtel You literally ask people if they have kids and then move it to the game.

 

Ira Madison III Talking to you, Vanna, better keep your mouth shut.

 

Louis Virtel Well, let me just also say I know I’ve brought this up before, but Pat’s daughter Maggie, like, sort of lingers on the set. She’s like the social media correspondent. She does like extra there’s like extras on her Instagram. You can watch where she talks to Vanna or talks to Pat, etc.. And on a couple of occasions, she’s worked the puzzle board while Vanna was like playing the game as a contestant or taking over when Pat left for a couple of days. It’s a little too all about you. For me, I do not like this woman just walking around, nepo babying it through the alphabet.

 

Ira Madison III I was wondering where this was going to be like this nice young lady should have a job.

 

Louis Virtel No.

 

Ira Madison III You’re right. Get out.

 

Louis Virtel She’s. She’s like stilettos all around, Vanna. It’s making me nervous, but I will say.

 

Ira Madison III Buckle up, boys. It’s going to be a bumpy Val.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. I’m obviously thinking about who should replace Pat. And the first name that came to mind was Louis Virtel. I have to say, there is something about the way he operates in the game show universe.

 

Ira Madison III You know what?

 

Louis Virtel That makes me think he could do it.

 

Ira Madison III You know,  the blogs we’re talking about Louis Virtel. Yeah. The blogs, the streets are talking. Yeah. I would love to see you host the Wheel of Fortune, to be honest.

 

Louis Virtel I watch that. I mean, Jeopardy is my favorite show. This is my second favorite show. I watch it every night. Now, if they don’t choose me and perhaps somebody who has, you know, thousands of hours of TV already logged under their belt, I think somebody who would be amazing, maybe he’s a little older now. Maybe they want to invest in somebody younger. But Tom Bergeron, who hosted Dancing with the Stars and Hollywood Squares long before that fabulous host, has a fabulous memoir. Call them hosting as Fast as I Can, Consummate emcee, somebody who has that Pat Sajak, kind of Dick Cavett ish wit.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel With while moving it along, like somebody who’s committed to the integrity of the game, he would be excellent. A friend of mine suggested RuPaul. I think there’s too many things going on in the game for RuPaul. I think he wants it to be a little bit looser, you know, And that’s how we feel about Steve Harvey, too. Steve Harvey wants like he’ll get back to the game, but he likes taking a moment for himself and there is no time in Wheel for that.

 

Ira Madison III That’s so interesting because it’s like what an actor or like a personality who hasn’t generally been like they haven’t come up as like a you know, I’m a host. You know, like they you know them for other things. It’s interesting what they do decide to just like I’m going to host this thing and just have like a comfortable job for maybe the rest of my life. Like, remember, Drew Carey is an actor.

 

Louis Virtel Right? He used to be in multiple things, and now he is in this CBS vortex, you know, still giving away a C  to God knows him. But he does a really good job on the show. I think like a good example is like Jane Lynch on Weakest Link. It’s a little bit of like plug and play. Like, I don’t know how inspired that is, but she’s good enough and she’s good on it.

 

Ira Madison III So who do we think should just, you know, give it up? Who should give up and just give up? I think just go for it.

 

Louis Virtel That is a good question. I mean, like, I would love a consummate host, like a Tom Bergeron to do it, but yeah, who else?

 

Ira Madison III Kara DioGuardi.

 

Louis Virtel Kara DioGuardi. I mean, I’ll have a conversation about her at any time. I don’t know if I need her saying the words before and after at me. Obviously, you know, we had Aisha Tyler here recently, somebody who I think naturally falls into the hosting capacity. Really? Well, that might work.

 

Ira Madison III Mm hmm. Loni Love.

 

Louis Virtel You know who I bet is gunning? Sherri Shepherd.

 

Ira Madison III Mm hmm.

 

Louis Virtel Because she’s hosted a number of game shows at this point.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Including her daytime talk show. Sure. A lot of twists and turns of that show.

 

Louis Virtel Right.

 

Ira Madison III Do you remember her fucking the floor while talking about Sheryl Lee Ralph? Son?

 

Louis Virtel Oh, my.

 

Ira Madison III God. You see this clip?

 

Louis Virtel Sherri Shepherd is weirdly, she is both. I’ll take a check and do any gig. And yet also, I am on fucking hinged. You’re rarely both. So some of your comments about who should take over Pat Sajak. I feel like nobody’s going to beat Tom Bergeron, but make sure to comment on our YouTube to where you can watch us bantering and screaming at each other.

 

Ira Madison III I love growing into our YouTube comment, which is very wild considering, you know, us as middle aged millennials.

 

Louis Virtel Sure.

 

Ira Madison III Mid millennials, we’re not older millennials.

 

Louis Virtel Midlinnials.

 

Ira Madison III You remember like growing up with YouTube. Look at the comments on YouTube is usually scary.

 

Louis Virtel Oh yeah. Oh, no. And it’s all caps and it’s all weird links to the abyss of the Internet.

 

Ira Madison III That’s where Michael Arden was once called a fagot.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Yeah. Yeah. They are straight forward and mean YouTube.

 

Ira Madison III But the subscribers to the Keep It YouTube channel, we have our very own YouTube channel. If you’re listening to this and you do not know that we have a YouTube channel where you can also watch the episodes each week, run over to YouTube and watch us. The subscribers on the Keep It channel are very nice people.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, I love reading comments.

 

Ira Madison III Yes. Yeah. And they respond to questions that we’ve asked and they have conversations with each other. So I’ve been dipping into the comments more and as long as they stay respectful, they have to be respectful, actually. Say as long as they stay fun, I’ll keep responding. Honestly, even the episode where we were talking about like the old gays fighting over Madonna and Kylie Minogue.

 

Louis Virtel Mm hmm.

 

Ira Madison III It was just like they were big. It was a very, like, fun, like people bantering back and forth with each other about controversies with Madonna.

 

Louis Virtel I think I need to get a new YouTube account, but I will join in myself. You know, I love a little comment. I love it.

 

Ira Madison III Come on grandma.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Oh, all right. Get my camisol in place and start typing.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel All right, Ira, what is your other Keep It?

 

Ira Madison III My other Keep It goes to the idiots watching The Idol.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, no.

 

Ira Madison III Not because it’s a bad show. It is. But because for some reason, people watching The Idol seem to think that this is actually The Weeknd.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, just like.

 

Ira Madison III Able. Like it’s. It’s like. Like there’s, you know, there’s a scene and there’s, like, a creepy sex scene in episode two of The Idol, and you have people online talking about how creepy the Weeknd is and how he has sex like this. And I’m like, he’s acting poorly, but he is acting and people acting like Lily-rose Depp, like, literally had jizz on her face in the show. Like, it’s it’s acting. It’s not even real seem it. I just I don’t I don’t get it. I was getting into this debate on Twitter because so what little bro I really need Abel to get dragged for this nasty scene in The Idol. The Weeknd’s mind has rotted from too much porn consumption because that scene was disgusting. And notice how again, he didn’t even take his shirt off while Lily was naked. This is not him doing this. This is a fictional character. And I comment to this and some nutjob responded to me with.

 

Louis Virtel You don’t say.

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Some nutjob responded to me. It’s also a tale as old as time that people express themselves in their art. Don’t act brand new. You’re a writer.

 

Louis Virtel That’s how I work. I have twisted sexual fantasies, and so I write them and then do them right in front of you.

 

Ira Madison III Listen, not everybody is Woody Allen.

 

Louis Virtel Okay? Important reminder.

 

Ira Madison III It’s work reminder for most other writers. Yes. We write about ourselves in our art, but that is writers. The Weeknd is not firing up final draft and writing The Idol baby. This is not like what’s not clicking here. This reminds me of, like, a thing that I’ve heard from soap opera actors for years. You know, like, people would confront them in the streets because it’s like they think that they’re their character.

 

Louis Virtel You know, I’m not surprised at the amount of people they run into who are Nurse Betty has to be shocking, you know?

 

Ira Madison III And oh, my God. Great fucking movie.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, great movie.

 

Ira Madison III Great Chris Rock role.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Really? Remember when he used to act all the time?

 

Ira Madison III Yeah. Now it’s just busy getting slapped. He needs to slap a script on the table. I’ve also heard from Mike, the actor Adam Bush, who played Warren on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Like, who was like, a very creepy character. You know, he, like, tried to rape his girlfriend, then killed her, and then, like, made a robot of her, etc.. Very creepy character. Right. Who was on a plate? He played this character on a TV show in the 2000s. Barely people still talk to him and interact with him weirdly because they think he’s his character.

 

Louis Virtel Well, it reminds you of when Anna Gunn published that thing in The New York Times about how she had to defend her own character as if it was a friend of hers, basically, and like, leave Anna Gunn alone. And by the way, then we did. And whereas Anna Gunn Now.

 

Ira Madison III Anna.

 

Louis Virtel You’re on my mind, Anna Gunn.

 

Ira Madison III Annie, get your gun and get Anna Gunn.

 

Louis Virtel Wow. The brains are totally wrong. If you’re a writer and you Keep It now, the brains are smoked.

 

Ira Madison III I think we’ve got to stop this.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, we did our best. Ultimately, it was a failure. Thank you for sticking around through it.

 

Ira Madison III Well, at least we had a great Patricia Arquette interview this week.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. She did enlighten us before we before we entirely disintegrated.

 

Ira Madison III We’ll see you next week. Keep It is a Crooked Media production. Our senior producer is Kendra James. Our producer is Chris Lord and our associate producer is Malcolm Whitfield. Our executive producers are Ira Madison, the third and Louis Virtel.

 

Louis Virtel This episode was recorded and mixed by Evan Sutton. Thank you to our digital team, Meghan Patsel and Rachel Gaewski, and to Matt DeGroot and David Toles for production support every week and.

 

Ira Madison III As always, Keep It as recorded in front of a live studio audience.

 

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