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November 18, 2022
The REALationship with your Food

In This Episode

Like all the other relationships in your life, your relationship with food should be a healthy one! If we are what we eat…WHO ARE YOU? Founder of Fit Men Cook, Kevin Curry, shares how his journey and relationship with food saved his life!
Stay Connected with us! Email us at AskDrImani@crooked.com

 

TRANSCRIPT

 

[AD BREAK] 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: This show is for general information and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to provide specific health care or medical advice and should not be construed as providing health care or medical advice. Please consult your physician with any questions related to your own health. [music break] Hey, you guys. Welcome to Imani State of Mind. I’m Dr. Imani. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And I am MegScoop.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Hey. So today we’re going to be deep diving into something super interesting. So like most other relationships in your life, your relationship with food should be a healthy one. So we have the founder of Fit Men Cook, uh one of my favorites, um one of my favorite apps one of my favorite uh accounts to follow on social media. And Kevin Curry, the founder, is here today sharing his incredible story of how his journey with depression was transformed by his eating habits. We’re taking it back to our REALationship series for this one. As we discuss the REALationship we have with food. But before we get to that, let’s dig into these current events. Okay. So. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes, yes. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: [sigh] All right. So I think this past week, well, wasn’t as crazy, but there still was were some crazy things um going on this past week. So um something that I saw like Monday morning was that there were three football players that were shot dead um and they were at the University of Virginia. They were shot by a former I guess, a classmate, not a teammate. And there were also two other people wounded. So– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Honestly, I feel like every weekend, every weekend, like legit like like starting Thursday, Friday, Saturday, like if there’s going to be a shooting, I feel like those are the days. Like, I always open up my, like, news app and it’s like–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –These people got shot. These people got shot. I don’t know what it is about those days. I mean, I’m I know there’s a Tuesday thrown in there somewhere, but it’s been very, very it’s been really hectic when it’s been coming to like shootings and school shootings and stuff like that. So. Really, really sad. I don’t know what the motive was or anything like that, um but it’s just. Yeah, it’s it’s really, really, really sad. Um. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And I just feel like well, not that I feel like I know like there have just been so many school shootings. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I mean, and university is pretty. I mean, these aren’t kids, but still, like, that’s that’s a lot like whether your whether you’re a child or not. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. They’re somebody’s kids. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right exactly. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: It’s just you don’t you don’t send your child to school, whether it’s like elementary school or college and expect them to not come home from something at school. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You know, so I–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –My heart goes out to their families for sure. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. This person and this person’s black. Christopher Darnell Jones Jr. I mean– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I knew because his name was Darnell, but I’m just like–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Stop. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Damn. No, I mean, for real. Because look when I saw the article, I was like, I was like, legit, I was like, please don’t be Black. Please don’t be Black. Please don’t be Black. And then um I scroll down and I was like. Christopher Darnell Jones Junior, come on now, that’s a Black person all day. So I’m like, damn. So. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: In any case, that happens. Um. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. So. So what, what have you what have you been reading or following up on over the past week? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Um, well, actually, last Saturday uh was SNL’s, SNL was hosted by Dave Chappelle. Did you see it? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I saw some of it. I kind of watched it to see I was I was like, let me see if he says something inflammatory. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You, oh he always does. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: He always does. You know he does. But of course– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –This time it was he had of course, he had to talk about what was going on with Kanye and Kyrie and–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Kyrie. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And so he’s got some he’s gotten some backlash about his remarks being anti-Semitic. But I’m gonna tell you this, with all of this this anti-Semitism that’s being thrown around, like I want to go look it up because I genuinely didn’t understand like what what about what they’re saying is anti Semitic, right? So I looked up like– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –What does that mean? And it basically means like prejudice or hatred towards Jews. Um, and like, like, and I guess like hating even stereo like hating type of stereotypes, are are fall under anti-Semitism. So because I was like, I don’t understand what he’s saying. So to me because I liken it like this, so if I said if somebody said to me. Uh. That’s not Black. That said. Okay, well, the the fastest runners in the world are Black. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right right.

 

MegScoop Thomas: Is that racist? Do we consider that racist or is that like, you right. Like.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I mean. Yeah. No, I I’m. I’m with you because there was something that Dave Chappelle said in his monologue, and he said, well. Yeah. Kanye West said something along the lines of um the that Jewish people run Hollywood. But he was like, well, as somebody in Hollywood, there are a lot of Jewish people there. And it kind of also reminded me. Here’s another example that I was confused by, so back when Jay-Z released his I believe it was his last album, right? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. He had a song on there um called um what was it, it was like OJ the the the something of OJ. I forgot what the name of the song is right now, but he said something along the lines of that Jewish people own a lot of property and Jewish people were were upset about that. And I was like, but don’t y’all? Like don’t. I mean. I don’t– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I guess that’s what I’m trying to understand. Like, as a Black person, if you say something negative about our race of people like, oh, Black people are the ones that are doing all the crimes, then I have an issue with you. Right. But if you’re saying–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Because first of all, that’s not even true. But I have an issue with you. Is it the fact that it’s a generalization or like– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I, I think so, so– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Cause’ I was trying to think like, if you’re if you’re telling me that the fastest runners in the world are Black and I look it up and it’s true. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And it’s true right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I don’t, I’m not mad, that’s actually a good thing. So is it a bad thing if I if if we look up and see that the people who are running a lot of the the Hollywood companies are Jewish and say that, is that negative? Like, I I I–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: So here’s–

 

MegScoop Thomas: –want I need to understand what the bad part is about it, if it’s true. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: So here’s, here’s, here’s what I would. There there’s there’s a word there are two words that come into my head. Obviously, stereotype cause that’s what we’re talking about. But also there is a word um that is known in psychiatry, psychology known as stereotypy. Okay. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Okay. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Stereotypy. So let me let me go to stereotype. The definition of stereotype is a widely held, fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing. Okay. So I can understand how somebody could be, you know, like it’s not the most it’s not a very positive meaning. Stereotypy in psychology, psychiatry is a persistent repetition of an act. Excuse me. It is the persistent repetition of an act for no obvious purpose, right. There basically, it’s something that is persistent and repetitive. So I think the difference is that a stereotype has a connotation like a cliche. So like a cliche is something that, yes, it’s something that is kind of old. It’s overused, but it also has a negative stereotype. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: All right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. And I’m guessing they’re getting upset about that. But I think for those of us who, let’s say, aren’t Jewish, those of us who are Black, because you and I are Black, we’re kind of like, well, but if you if there are a lot of Jewish people in Hollywood and a lot of Jewish people do own property. Like is it like, yes, it’s an oversimplification, but is it a negative stereotype? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And that and that’s what I’m trying to understand. Am I missing what the anti-Semitic part of this is? Because if he it for when I look at what Kanye said, what Kyrie said, what what uh even like, the backlash that Kanye had because he said basically, like, if I say something about the Jews, like they gonna, they own everything. They’re going to take it away. And they did. So it was like it w– is that like, what’s the negative aspect of that. I feel like we need to have some of our like Jewish friends on to explain to us what is negative about that? Because to me, I don’t I just see positives when it comes to saying like you guys like run Hollywood, you own a– like that’s a to me I thought it was a good thing right. Like that’s a big– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right, now for some reason– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Billion dollar industry. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right, now for some reason, people are impersonating you and you’re not. Or it’s an oversimplification and really you’re not running Hollywood. That’s fine. But I feel like at some point it’s not being explained well and it’s not being explained well in the in in the in the realm of okay, Dave Chappelle said something that he, as he explained, was factual. Was it negative? I don’t really view it as negative um if it’s a situation where everyone’s saying that, oh, Jewish people are running Hollywood and in fact, Jewish people are disenfranchized in Hollywood and not getting their stories told. Or, you know what I’m saying, like, I don’t I don’t know, like I don’t really see that. I don’t I don’t I personally don’t see it. But then again, I also personally am not Jewish and I’m– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right, right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –I’m not of the Jewish community or you know, I don’t. I don’t. I don’t know. Like, it’s it’s um. [sigh] it’s– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Well you know what? I think that’s–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I don’t I don’t I don’t understand.

 

MegScoop Thomas: –we gotta do that. We we’re going to have to do that on a show like breaking down, just like different racial stereotypes, I think, because that’s something I’m very interested to hear from, from our Jewish brothers and sisters, what anti-Semitism is to them. Because just like I don’t want anyone who’s not Black telling me what racism is because you don’t know what it is to be– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Racially profiled. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Legit. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And you’re not black. So I’m assuming it’s the same way being Jewish, like, you know what anti-Semitism is better than anybody. So explain to us why saying a statement like that is negative as opposed to being like, Yep, that’s us. We got it. Ha ha ha. Like, I don’t know. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m kind of thinking also I’m kind of thinking also along the lines of so for example, there’s the Hasidism, Hasidic Jews in New York. And I read this article a couple of months ago that was in The New York Times that was detailing how in New York City there were Hasidic schools that were performing terribly. And I’m when I say terribly, I mean, like some of these kids didn’t speak English. Some of these kids, you know, let’s take English off the table. They were speaking um Yiddish, but they weren’t teaching them like basic math and science. They were you know, they were beating these beating like the little boys and like up to a certain grade, like the little girls, like couldn’t go to school. Now, if we’re talking about a situation where let’s say I say incorrectly and or erroneously, oh these Hasidic Jews out here, whatever, they got all this money. No, they don’t. They are living below the poverty line. These what this story detailed was basically that there are these schools that are taking millions of dollars of money from New York City and not using the money for these schools. Now, if we were talking about that specific group of of um of the Jewish faith of Jewish people, and somebody was like, well, you know, these Hasidic people I hear running Hollywood, I’d be like, well, girl, no, they not. Like not you. But– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right, right, right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’ll be like no, they’re not. But Jew, I guess Jewish people, as we consider Jewish people in Hollywood who some of them are people that practice the Jewish faith. Other people are people who don’t practice the Jewish faith and they call themselves Jewish and they may, you know, still eat pork and stuff like that. Um. And I say all that to say that it’s something that we had touched upon in a previous episode, which is we were talking about Dov Charney and how Dov Charney is is Jewish. And he was the he was the founder of American Apparel. And he got me too’d and all that. But he made those White Lives Matter shirts first, and he and Kanye were in cahoots. And for some, I read an article where like, apparently he was managing Kanye for a certain amount of time. I say all that to say that when it comes to Jewish people, when it comes to things that I’ve read right. And even like Jewish people that I’ve interacted with. For Black folks. We consider them to be white. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And for some Jewish people, they don’t they’re like or it’s I’m white when I can get benefits from it. But then I’m a minority when I can get benefitted from that. And I think that is kind of the confusion, especially like with, you know, with with Black folks. Um. But let me also just say that all this anti-Semitism is really, really interesting to me, especially because when it comes to the civil rights movement, like in the South, Jewish people by and large were very much for civil rights. And were doing a lot to help out Black folks. But. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: We haven’t necessarily seen that type of camaraderie or support necessarily, I would say like in as much in our lifetimes. So I think that’s where some of the anti-Semitism comes in. Um. I think back then it was like, yo, like if one of us is hurt, then we all hurt. But now it’s kind of like, well, it’s like when we, when we cry foul, you know, a lot of people will be like, well, what did you do? Like nonwhite like like non-Black folks? And we’re just kind of like, well, hold up. If you’re a Jewish person, and you’re asking me this, are you white today? Or are you a minority today? And I think that’s part of the issue, too. But I, I would definitely I would need for someone to, you know, sit down and explain it to me. Like, you know, I know that– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah that’s good– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Jewish people are not a monolith. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s a good converstaion. Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah, I know Jewish people aren’t a monolith. Like that’s why I brought up the whole Hasidic issue. But like and Black people aren’t either. But I need to understand, like, if, for example, like to this day, I’m like, if Jay-Z says that Jewish people own like a lot of property, like, is that bad? Like, I know there are Jewish people who don’t. I know they’re poor Jewish people. But if if if it’s shown statistically and I don’t have statistics in front of me, so I could be wrong, but if it’s shown that they do own a lot of property or it’s shown that like there are a lot of them in Hollywood, like running the show, like making big deals, like being influential in Hollywood. Then I’m just kind of like. Like you said, like Black people do run fast. We do.

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. So what, what is the negative aspects of that I guess? You know what I mean? Like, obviously– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right, right, right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I don’t know. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Exactly. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: So I and one thing I will say that I will give a lot of my Jewish friends, they are quick to be like, all right, let’s have a conversation and explain. Whereas Black people sometimes we be like– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –You’re cancelled. No explanation needed, cancelled. So I do appreciate that–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –From our Jewish brothers and sisters. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I definitely appreciate that. I think, you know, a lot of that appreciation may or their willingness to share may be the fact that, you know, with the Holocaust, like we know the Holocaust existed. It trips me out how people like that shit really didn’t happen. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m like, really like, are you fucking crazy? But but legit. And I’m not trying to compare. I’m not trying to like compare and contrast and say that, you know, it’s the same or whatever, but because it wasn’t the same. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Correct. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Meaning we African people underwent our own holocaust and– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Correct. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –It was more massive and it was systemic. And it wasn’t just one country and it wasn’t just, you know, under the, I guess, leadership of one person. And so I think that’s why, you know, maybe for Black folks we’re like so like a lot of times I’m like, I’m not explaining this shit to you you want to know this shit, go to Google. Like, I’m just I’m not in the mood, but I do–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –But I think that if your struggle is accepted and appreciated and people acknowledge it, then you are going to be more willing because society at large is accepting of what happened to your people. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Makes sense. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Whereas for Black folks, people are still like, well I mean, slavery like that shit ended like 100 years ago. Like–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Well, okay. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –and not wanting and then not wanting to teach–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That’s worse. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Our children about it in school saying, Oh, that’s critical race theory. We don’t need to be talking about that. Like what? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Listen, I saw um I saw this um I saw this post this morning by um there’s an Instagram account called Race to Dinner. It’s a movie, and it basically challenges all these white women on their, you know, their inherent racism and how they really, like, don’t vote in their own best interests and how they vote and how they behave in society actually, like hurts the rest of us, meaning people of color and Black folks especially. But um there was a post and they were like, listen, all you white educators out there, like it’s up to you to decide whether you want to whether you want to continue this fallacy that Thanksgiving is about turkey and pie or whether it was about genocide of Indigenous Americans. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And it’s you know, it’s really it’s really that simple. So um I’m with you like somebody you know what we’re going to we’re going to find somebody. I have a couple people in mind, I’m sure you do, too, like, explain to me. Like explain this to me, because I don’t I don’t you know, I don’t totally understand, um you know, what what’s going on also like, I really, honestly never understood. I mean, like a some like, you know, you see, like, um like white supremacists and and you’ll see, like, their um, their propaganda and they’ll, like, draw like Jewish people as, like, rats and shit. And I’m just like, what the like, why? What is wrong like like, why are you so mad at them? What did they do? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Girl, they look they God’s chosen people. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m like God damn. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: If you look in the Bible, Jews are the–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I know, but I’m like, why y’all drawing them like rats and shit. Like, what–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –The fuck I’m just like, good god. Like, I mean, cause this has been going on for centuries. I’m like, why are y’all so mad? But, you know, I mean, I too can Google it, but I really I’m like, I would love to have somebody explain it to me. So anyway anyway. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes, yes. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um, but yeah, there’s, there were a lot of things going you know, you know what else I heard about today? This is just to keep it kind of light. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Mm hmm. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: You know, Porsha from Real Housewives of Atlanta is marrying her former castmate’s husband. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That shit is crazy. And then I saw all these people, like, you know, people in the reality world, like, congratulations, this that and the third, I was just like, this is fucked up. This is wack. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: It is. But here’s the thing. I will say this. I don’t know. Apparently, the timing, it just looks bad because the way she explained it is– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: It look– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Because– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Bad. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Because of how she met him. And so– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –She was like. [clears throat] So she’s like that I understand. But she was like, as far as, like, I’m not the reason they’re getting a divorce. I you know, the other part of it is he wasn’t fully divorced when you all started dating and it became public. That is, I think– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah it just– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Why people are you know, they should have just kept it– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Under wraps. And I think maybe like four or five months after he and his ex-wife separated, not even divorced yet is when they announced their engagement. And I think that was the problem. You’re engaged to a man— 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Who’s not divorced, and the way you met him was through his wife, came to the man’s house.  

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. Yeah. It’s just– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You know like that’s just– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I mean. Eew. I was like, this is kind of sli– like, this is slimy. Like, this is and also, I mean, legit you know, I don’t I don’t know these people. Um. I just know the importance of a storyline on a reality show, that I know. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. I’m just wondering, you know, how long is this going to last for? You know what I mean? Because– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Girl. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –To be on a reality show is one thing. To be married to someone who is on a reality show and you’re not getting paid and like the men don’t get paid. Just so everyone is aware, the men do not get paid. Like if you’re marr–, if you’re a husband, you know, unless you work out some sort of a side deal, you you’re not a cast you’re not cast, so you don’t get paid. But they expect the husbands to be like all gung ho. And so you also kind of have to wonder sometimes, like, why these dudes so hype off this shit? Like, you not getting paid by these people like for real. Like, yes, I understand. Like happy, happy wife, happy life. And I’m just like. Like, sometimes these dude, these dudes be having any they own Instagram accounts and be getting into it with people in the comments and I’m just like, you know, Bravo not paying you right? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. [indistinct]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: They’re not paying you, so I don’t know. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I heard that I saw that this morning. And I was like eew. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Dang, they don’t even get a day rate? Cause I’d be like–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I mean, whatever. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –you can’t put me on, that you can’t put me on TV if you’re not giving me a day rate. Something. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That’s what I’m trying to tell you, that they don’t get paid. They do not get paid. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s crazy. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And as much as like I used to love me some Gregg Leakes, Nene Leakes’ um um you know deceased husband RIP Greg. I loved me some Gregg. I was like Gregg ain’t getting paid not one penny. Mmm. [laughter] 

 

MegScoop Thomas: [indistinct]. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: So anyway anyway. Yeah exactly. Literally sipping my tea. Um in any case. So we just want for you guys to know that we love doing this show for you guys. And if you guys are loving the show, let us know by rating the show on your favorite podcast app, because when you do, I’m going to see it and I’m going to shout you out and everybody loves getting shouted out, right? Of course you do. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes. But we have so much to talk about. Let us start the show. [music break]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay, you guys. So we want to know what’s on your mind. What are you struggling with? We love giving our professional and also not so professional advice. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes, ma’am. It’s time for Ask Dr. Imani anything. Our first letter today comes from Vivian. Hey, Vivian. And here’s what she had to say. To the ladies of Imani State of Mind. I am doing something I said I would never do. I am giving an ex a second chance. We dated in our twenties and it didn’t work out because we were both in these streets. Well over a decade later, I ran into him at a hardware store. We exchanged numbers and that spark I felt for him almost ten years ago immediately came back. We can’t get enough of each other. When I asked him why he’s single, he revealed he’s a widow and a single dad of three. Now here’s where my concern comes in. She just passed away about a month and a half ago. That woman literally just died. Is it too soon to start anything serious with him? Is he using me as a distraction to his grief? Is it possible to be a death rebound? I have no clue how to continue talking to him after this information. Help me, please. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. [laughing] Oh, my God. Okay hold on.

 

MegScoop Thomas: Why are you laughing at this Imani? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Because this shit is crazy, okay? Because, you know, I have a very morbid like mind and I have a really weird sense of humor. So first off. Okay. Okay. Vivian hello. How are you? I’m not laughing at you. I’m just laughing because this in literally like eight sentences, you you letter of the year, you killed this shit. Okay, so. Okay, so listen. So first you met your ex in a hardware store, and you guys exchanged numbers, you guys clicked. You can’t get enough of each other. And when when you you know, up till that point, I was like, yeah, like go ahead and give it a try. Like, listen, I met my boyfriend Peter, um, 17 years ago and then we, you know, not that we had a falling out. I was pregnant, I got knocked up. I didn’t want to have a relationship with him. And, like, obviously be like, Ooh, you my new boyfriend. I’m like, you know, pregnant by some other dude. Like, I didn’t want to do it like that. Um. In any case, time passed. He got married. I got married. We had kids. And it just so happened that he was divorced in the process of divorcing, I had just separated from my husband and then it was like, yay, we can be together. However, we did take time. Like, we took some time to make sure that like, okay, is this a rebound? I mean, I knew it wasn’t a rebound cause we’ve known each other for a long time, and we always stayed friends. But I knew it wasn’t a rebound. This man’s wife, though, he died. She died like a month and a half ago. Like, that’s that’s a lot. And they got three kids, so he’s a single dad. So what I would tell you, Vivian, for real, is keep talking to him. Keep talking to him. Y’all can go out on dates, like just take it slow. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: The other thing is, like I said, I have a morbid mind. Just make sure that he didn’t kill his wife, okay? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh my gosh. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Make sure that, like, he wasn’t stalking you. Make sure he wasn’t stalking you or anything and being like, ooh, I’m a run into, I’m a I’m a, quote, unquote, “run into my ex.” And then he killed his wife first, and then he made sure to run into you. And now, y’all, now he like, Oh, my God, girl, I can’t believe we got back together. And meanwhile he like, I know we got back together cause I was following you like oran juice jones. [laughter] So all I’m saying is just regardless whether he whether he killed his wife, his his wife or not, and I’m sure he didn’t but, you know, I watch a lot of crime shows. Um. Just take, just take it take it slow, take it, take it slow. I would give I would honestly give it like six months. Like if you all really feeling each other like that. Give it six months of just being like, okay, you know, we getting to know each other. I wouldn’t I wouldn’t rush into having him claim me and vice versa because he got kids and like death is one thing, like getting divorce is one thing, but death is a whole other thing. And–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –He has kids and his kids are mourning their mom and that really doesn’t ever go away. And you also don’t want, you know, for him to be like, you know, y’all like up in the bed, he sleeping there he start like calling out her name and shit like I’m just saying like it’s it can just get kind of weird. So just give it just [laughing] give it just give it some time, Vivian. So what, what– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Agreed. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –What do you say Meg?

 

MegScoop Thomas: No, no, no. I think everything you said 100%, you know. [indistinct]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That he killed her right? I’m just kidding. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh my gosh. [laughing] I’m laughing but we really don’t know, right? You do have to check that these days. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You never know. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: You got to check that out. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: But. [laugh] Right. But but yeah, for sure definitely give it some time. I know that’s kind of hard to say, though. Like, you know, this is your ex–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah give it some time. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –And there’s a real spark there. So how do you give it time when you’re like head over heels for somebody? What does that even look like to “give it time”, quote unquote? I don’t know. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Mm hm, yeah– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: But– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Exactly. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You’re going to have to. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I mean. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Whatever that means. Just honor, you know, make sure you have conversations with him to about it as well. Like, hey, I know your wife passed away. Like, I don’t know this woman, but clearly she’s the mother of your children. So I want to honor that and give you know space because I don’t want your kids to now look angry at me or be angry with me. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You know, thinking that I did, I swept in here trying to get their dad. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: When that’s not the case. So, you know, make sure that’s handled. And when you’re ready to have a conversation with the kids about it, about me, then like let’s continue to pursue this, because I think that would be I think that would be a tough thing for kids to, you know, kind of gather, even though–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –She had nothing to do with, you know, their mom passing away, so. Yes.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. But maybe like I don’t know, maybe we going to see like Vivian and like her ex-boyfriend, like on snapped or some shit. I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding.

 

MegScoop Thomas: Girl. Okay. Our next letter comes from a listener by the name [laughter] of Mo, this is what Mo says, Greetings, beautiful ladies. I started listening to your show because my fiance always has it on when she’s picking me up from the airport on Fridays. Okay shout out to your fiancé. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Oh yay! 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Hello Mo! 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Shout out to you.

 

MegScoop Thomas: I have to say, you two are very informative and funny. I need some womanly advice. This year for Christmas, I’m going home with my fiance to be with her family. I found out from her brother that my future mother in law invited my fiance’s ex-boyfriend to dinner. Now I’m a very secure man. But in what world is this okay? Why does this man need to be there? I shared my concerns with my fiancee, and she made it seem like it was no big deal because he is still really close with their family. Am I the only one who sees this as a problem? I am ready to just go to my mama’s house for the holidays at this point. How should I play this Christmas dinner dilemma? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Hmm. I don’t know. I mean, I do know, actually. [laughter] I very much know. Um. I don’t. Yeah. I don’t I don’t think this is cool. I don’t I think this is really kind of I honestly feel like I don’t know I don’t know your fiance’s mom, obviously, because I don’t know you. I don’t know any of you guys. But this is either the mom being, like woefully naive or the mom, or the mom not accepting of the fact that your fiancee is with a woman. Right? Like, am I am I reading that wrong? Okay. wait. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You’re reading it wrong. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Oh oh, he said he’s a secure man. I’m sorry, Mo. I I I assumed that you were a woman. My bad. I’m sorry. Um. So let me back up. What I’m, what I’m going to say is either your fiancee’s mom is woefully naive or she doesn’t. I don’t know. I just feel like. Like when that like when when your fiance’s mom, like, invites the ex-boyfriend. I just kind of feel like at some point someone has to say, like, wouldn’t the current fiance meaning meaning you, Mo, feel like the mom is really trying to get like her ex back together with your fiancee? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like it’s it’s– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: But I don’t I wouldn’t put that onus on his mother in law because obviously she still likes the ex boyfriend who’s of mind mind you, he said boyfriend. This is not an ex fiance. This is ex boyfriend. He probably– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –was in the picture for years and years and years. He’s probably cool with her brother. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: We don’t, we don’t know that. I mean still. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I’m just saying, just just– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Mmm mm. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: So I’m saying the mom is probably like just used to always having him over. Right. She, she may not even really want them to get back together, she just, he just part of the family. It’s not nobody’s responsibility except his fiance to dead that. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: No for sure. For sure. Yeah.

 

MegScoop Thomas: And the fact that he said he shared his concerns with her and she was like, aw it’s no big deal. He’s close to my family like I like, run Mo. Okay. And I know y’all– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Listening to this together, but girl, it is your responsibility. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah that’s not cool. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: This is your man. This is your future husband, the future father of your children. Like you, you have a responsibility to him and not your ex-boyfriend that’s cool with your family. So you gonna have to tell your mom he can’t come over, like this is my future. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Hell no. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Why you got us stuck in the past? You causing issues–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right that’s what I’m saying. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –in your home. You causing issues in your home–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That’s what I’m saying. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –fiance. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That’s what I’m saying. It’s just like I as as Mo’s fiance would go to my mom and be like, first of all, you know, this looks wild. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: It actually kind of looks like like my fiance has every right to think that you don’t approve of him and that you want for me and my ex to get back together. That’s what I’m saying. And even if your mom doesn’t doesn’t, you know, wasn’t feeling that way, I guarantee she’d be if she doesn’t truly feel that way, she’d be like, oh, shit, you right. Like, I need to like you need to tell your mom, like you can make him a plate, you know what I’m saying. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like, he can come over when like we finish eating, but like, you know, you can give it to him through the door. But like no like, that’s that’s a no, that’s that’s that’s a little and and keep in mind, Mo, I have friends who I you know, like we like we’re still friends. Like I have friends that I was in relationships with, not very many, but like I would not put myself in I wouldn’t put myself in that position. I just– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Because I because I know how the other person feels. I know how the other person would feel. Me ten years ago wouldn’t care. And now if somebody was like, Yo, Imani, like, this is going to make my fiancee feel uncomfortable. I’d be like, Oh, shit, you know what? Like, I’m not trying to do that. I don’t even like you like that. Like we used to fuck around not no more like if you don’t like not a problem. I have a par–, I have parents, I can go over there. But yeah it’s just. I don’t know, it’s just, I mean, I do know. It’s, it sounds real like shady. I just, I don’t, I would. Yes Mo, you’re absolutely right. You should feel uncomfortable. And you and your fiancee really needs to dead that. Like, it’s not, it’s not cool. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. And it also kind of sounds like they’re just used to her ex-boyfriend being around. Because I have seen families like that that’s like like right that’s your ex, and that’s your new man and everybody’s here. And it’s like, oh, yeah. I’m like, that’s like he’s like family at this point. He like, there’s no sexual relationship. There’s no like, Ooh, I want to be back with you. I’ve seen that before. So here’s the thing if–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I have too but– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –If your ex-boyfriend means that much to your family and to you and you’re like, he’s like family to me at this point, then it’s it’s Mo’s fiance’s responsibility to have them meet ahead of time, not at this dinner. It’s like, look, he– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –He’s like my friend. He’s going to be in my life forever. Like, you need to meet him so you can see that [?] nothing like that. And if you don’t– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –do that, then I can’t understand how you think it’s okay for him to just come over to the house with your ex there. So–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. No I–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Mo, go to your mama house– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I agree.

 

MegScoop Thomas: –if you if you’re not willing to, you know, if your fiancee is not willing to do like a hold on, here’s a meet. I want you to meet him. He’s in my family for life like it’s just– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –what it is. Meet him beforehand. If you’re if she doesn’t do that with you, then you better go to your mama house. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. And, and look, I’ve. I’ve met, I’ve met, you know, my partners’ exes. It was fine. Like, I wasn’t tripping and he was like, Oh my God, are you okay? And I was like, yeah I’m fine like, I don’t like I’m like– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yes, I’m fine. Totally. Plus I’m like– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. And you know what? Like– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –I know where you live at. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. And my fiance has an ex-wife, you know, and she and I are cool, if she’d be inviting us to, like, her family functions, I’d a hung out. I’d a met her whole family like it’s a, you know. But obviously we had to when he and I first started dating. She and I had to meet before that we had to– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –cause I think it would have been awkward, like at a family function. I’m meeting your family for kinda the first time. It’s my first time going to y’alls Christmas dinner, and the first time I’m meeting your ex, like that’s kind of weird, so I would say– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Yeah, do that beforehand. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah, do it, do it, do it beforehand. Like don’t, yeah don’t spring it. And Mo if you like I don’t want to meet him like that’s your right too. But I but but just know that if you do that your fiance may be like, you know what, I don’t want to be with you no more. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And then yeah– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Cause then cause then–

 

MegScoop Thomas: And then you need to ask yourself why? Why you don’t want to meet that person. Is it is it is it a territorial thing like this my this is my girl now. Is it that or is it like what else is it? Because it we got to move past, I think that’s a little archaic and a little immature, to be honest with you, if if that’s the reason. But if she’s like, you know, had a history of cheating, then I understand why you would say that. But if it’s like nothing– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Like that, ask yourself, like, why wouldn’t I want to meet somebody from her past if it’s truly a thing of the past? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. And if it’s and it’s and honestly, it sounds like and you have to clear this up Mo. It sounds like the boyfriend is more friendly with the family then your fiance like it doesn’t like it’s not clear or you didn’t explain whether your fiance is still friends with this ex. And if– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right, right right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –And if she’s not, and if it is really just like, oh, you know, like Earl, he always be here on Thanksgiving if it’s like that then yeah, I wouldn’t trip, but I also would be like, let me meet Earl ahead of time just so I can be like, what’s up? You know. Um. [?]

 

MegScoop Thomas: Why his name gotta be Earl? [laughing] 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I don’t know, girl, you know, I be coming up with all kinds of fake names and shit. Yeah, yeah. Like Mo, you know what your um your fiance’s ex is uh DMX. I’m just kidding. It’s not because his name was Earl. Anyway, thank you, Vivian. And thank you Mo. These were great questions. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Thank y’all for submitting your questions and I hope that we were able to help. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And if you have a question or a problem centered around your mental health and you want our professional and not so professional advice, please send your emails to askDrImani@Crooked.com. Or you can text and leave us a voicemail at 818-252-9462. Hit us up! 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yes. So we’re going to switch gears now. We’re going to take a really quick break. And then after the break, we’re going to have Kevin Curry from Fit Men Cook and he is here. We’re taking it back to our REALationship series one more time as we talk about our relationships that we have with food. [music break] 

 

[AD BREAK] 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay, everybody, it’s time to get into this deep dive. So when it comes to our mental health and how to improve it, there are so many suggestions out there from formal medications to meditation. So one area that we’re going to talk about today is how our diets can significantly impact our well-being. We’re talking today about the relationship you have with your food and how that can play a role in your mental health. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And to join us in on this conversation is Kevin Curry. Now, Kevin started a Tumblr blog in 2012 called Fit Men Cook to share his meals online in order to build a community around healthy food ideas, as well as keep himself accountable and motivated. We love this message very, very much, Kevin, and we’re so excited to chat with you today, Kevin, welcome to Imani State of Mind. 

 

Kevin Curry: What’s up, y’all? How you doing? Thanks for having me. 

 

[spoken together by Meg and Imani] What’s up!

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes. How you doing, man? Thanks for joining us.

 

Kevin Curry: I’m all right. Thank you for having me on here. We talking about food– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah of course. 

 

Kevin Curry: -and mental health, all the things I care about and you know it– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: How you know how to cook? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay nice. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s what I want to, who taught you how to cook? 

 

Kevin Curry: Desperation taught me how to cook, let me tell you. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh okay. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Mmm mm.

 

Kevin Curry: So I grew up– You grew up in the South, so you see Mama cooking in there you know kitchen like quite a bit. And my house kind of functioned like, you know, like Big Mama’s house because my my dad was the minister of Music. So that’s significant because we would spend copious amounts of time in the church and then they bring the church home with em. So Mama would always have to have meals big enough to serve everybody else. And so I– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: –Grew up with that kind of food culture, but I never knew how to cook. I just knew what tasted good. And so when I wanted to start cooking, so my cooking journey was not because I was hungry. My, my cooking journey started because I was trying to lose weight and I didn’t know how. And I knew that Mama couldn’t really help me out with that, the stuff that I saw growing up. So that’s how I got into cooking. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh, that’s. That’s real. I feel like that’s a lot of Black people’s stories, especially in the South. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah, yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: Absolutely. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: For sure. 

 

Kevin Curry: You know, it’s so food is our heritages, you know, like Black Black people. We we we taught the world how to cook. We taught. We taught America how to season um food, um–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: [?] 

 

Kevin Curry: –and you know. Yeah. Right. You know what I mean– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: [?] to [?]. 

 

Kevin Curry: So we just haven’t we have got to continue on on evolving from a health perspective because the of the food in and of itself and the way we’re preparing the foods, you know, it may not be the best like health wise. Right. But from the from the jump, it wasn’t processed foods. They were all natural foods. You’re cooking stuff from scratch. So the heritage is actually there where we kind of I feel like there’s like a deviation there was that we kept some of those cooking methods that we know now from science and research that it may not be the best for our heart health. And then we we compound that with this um with this culture that we have here in Western society, that we have a big platter and you always got to fill up your platter. And that platter is called your plate. So we don’t have any concept of portion control until you go outside of the country and you order something and you’re like where the rest of my meal at? [indistinct]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –are the portions you should be eating perhaps.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right, right right now. You. I’m. I’m guessing, and I could be incorrect. Um. You had said that you started out um cooking and you couldn’t really talk to your mom or discuss with your mom. Like, I want to make this in a more healthful way, uh these meals and I know that um that you’ve had issues with depression. Um. Were you overeating like were you, for example, like were you depressed? And then you were over eating and that led to to the weight gain that you that you experienced? 

 

Kevin Curry: Yes, I was I was very depressed, not just kind of depressed. I was very depressed um and struggled a lot with suicidal ideation and food, you know, gave me a lot of comfort. Now, what’s interesting is that people didn’t know that I was overeating just because in public, [coughing] in normal circumstances, I really wasn’t that hungry. Right. And just have a meal. It was the nighttime binge eating. It was the drives home on the way um back and always stopping in 711 [phone ding] and get me like a little zinger cake. It was um it it was–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Ooh zingers. Sorry. [laughing] 

 

Kevin Curry: They were [indistinct]–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Hell yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: [indistinct] –those are, those were actually good. Right. Remember that back in the day?

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: They were so good. They were so good. If you were in Texas. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And I know they made zingers like all over the place, but like the yellow. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yes yes yes.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Ooh, the yellow with the little yellow– 

 

Kevin Curry: Yes woo! 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –frosting. [laughter] Oh. Those were my favorite. Sorry, sorry. 

 

Kevin Curry: Oh, no, no, that’s good. And then also the little cheesecake ones they had like the strawberry cheesecake, the banana bread. I forget the brand, but it was like the little breaded thing. Anyway, I would do a whole lot of that binge eating inside of a, you know, like parking lots and, and then have the wrappers there. Um. And it just gave me a lot of comfort because at that time, I mean, I can look back and explain this now, but I was I was trying to like anesthesize the pain. And that’s what really like we all– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –Do whenever it comes to food and like food addiction, we’re looking for some type of reward system because uh the way we’re feeling right now is not good. So food and foods that are highly caloric, salty, sugary, fatty foods um trigger an an immediate dopamine response and and higher dopamine response [indistinct]– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah, I was just about to say that. 

 

Kevin Curry: –cases, so then you’re like, Ooh, I feel good. This feels great. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: Until you hits that stomach and then it’s like, Oh, I feel awful. And then–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –Cycle continues. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right, right exactly.

 

MegScoop Thomas: What did you re– What did you replace your food, I guess. How did you get out of that addiction? Like what did you replace that addiction with or how did you change your mentality on how you saw food in your life? 

 

Kevin Curry: Okay, so I’m going to answer this question, but but I want to put an asterisk next to it because um because you mentioned something at the really top of the podcast about um mental health. So what I did was I started to eat better because I wanted to look better at someone, this was around the time where Facebook, where you could tag someone and someone just pops up there without you even asking for it to be popped up. And someone popped up– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: –A photo on my profile, I was like, you know, I got to, I got to do something, right? So from an aesthetic standpoint, I started to work out and then I got into cooking and I realized just how fast the weight was falling off of me because my diet had changed. Right. So I got really into that. I got super into that. I got really into the bodybuilding type of culture. And here’s why there’s an asterisk. And then all of a sudden, you know, I’m doing that [?] you know like to like a to the to the fullest extent. And all of a sudden my– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yes. And that can be– 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah, be yes. Go ahead talk about it. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That can be kind of like pathological, too. 

 

Kevin Curry: Right. Because then, now, then now all of a sudden, hey, Kev do you want to go out to eat? I can’t go out to eat. It’s not it’s not this– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –[?] broccoli. It’s not this, this, this. And I don’t want to get fat again. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: I don’t want to do this again. So all of a sudden, my relationship with food, even though I’m not packing on the calories, I’m losing weight. Um. I still have issues with the mental health. I just got abs now before I had mental health issues– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Listen. 

 

Kevin Curry: –With a gut. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Okay. Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. It’s interesting that you’re saying that because I’ve been thinking a lot like before this interview um and I was like, okay, what is my relationship like with food? And I will always say, and this is true to this day, I love food. I actually just ordered some steak and some salad. Like before you came on, I was like, when this is over, I’m about to go eat eat this Postmates– 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –And then I’m going to go hiking. But I still have this notion in my head and I don’t want to necessarily like place blame with any members of my family, let’s say. But it did come from that. It was like, oh, as you know, in our family were more so like tall and thin. There are some of us who are thicker and got and I mean, they have their own issues that I can’t even imagine. 

 

Kevin Curry: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. But for me, it was like like I’ve had my mom say stuff to me sometimes and and because we’re West Indian and there’s also like Chinese involved, like China, the Chinese like Asians. They like, oh, no, you cannot be big. Like you need to work that out. Like, do like don’t bring that over here. And so I–

 

Kevin Curry: They want you to be eating their big portions though too at the same time. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: They want you to eat though, but then you can’t be like, why why are you so big? 

 

Kevin Curry: You can’t be big. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: It’s like I just ate like a whole side of an animal– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right you gonna eat all of this rice. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –like there’s noodles. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yes. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. Exactly. Get out of here. But I still struggle with, okay, I’m going to eat. And maybe if I eat like this payday candy bar, I can hike it off later. Like, I still I still go through that. And I think some of that came from like, don’t get me wrong, I was never I never starved myself. But when I did, when I was in the depths of my depression and I had really bad anxiety, my appetite would just go away. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And I noticed one particular time when I was maybe like in my early twenties, my appetite plummeted because I was depressed following like this break up. And there were all these people that were coming up to me when I went back home to New York and they were like, Oh, are you modeling now? And I was like, No, not at all. Like, I’m actually just getting my appetite back and it it really like freaked me out a little bit. 

 

Kevin Curry: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like, it really I was like, oh, my God. Like, I don’t I didn’t want to be that person. And I was like, Oh, no, that’s not the thing. But I still do struggle with like, I had a kid, I worked out a little bit and then I worked out a lot and I was like, this is great because then I get all this attention and da da da now I have abs, but I still kind of struggle with, well, okay, if you eat that, you can eat it. But like tomorrow you got to hike like six miles. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. Well, and you know what? I’m going to say something that you may not expect me to say, and this is just my own personal opinion. I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with that approach, per se because what’s what you know, the beauty behind it is that you are you are connecting how you want to feel um and also wanting what you’re putting into your body with calorie with like calories. Right. So, like, you understand the way that calories are working essentially in this example, you understand that if you’re putting in all this stuff that perhaps may not be well for your body with their added calories, you also need to go ahead and burn that off because the food that you eat also should serve a purpose. It can serve a purpose in your life. Beyond just being enjoyed, it allows you to go ahead and do things. It allows you to to go hiking and allows you to function at work and not choke somebody out because you hungry. So if [indistinct]–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. Although I’ve come close. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. I mean, it hadn’t worked for me yet, but I’m just saying, just in general. Cause there’s not necessarily something wrong with saying, hey, you know what, I got to have this, but Kev you’ve got to stay active with this because what you don’t want to do is just take in some of those things that aren’t helpful for you. Now, as it comes to a relationship with food, if you find yourself that is that is your relationship like, oooh, I made this burger and I gotta run it off. I gotta do this and run it off. That I feel like–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah that’s– 

 

Kevin Curry: –the chronicness of that is unhealthy, right? Yo, if I have a piece of cake. I’m like, alright Kev now, you know, you weren’t finna go ahead and hike tomorrow, but you need to get your ass up and go and grab that backpack and start hiking tomorrow. Because of this, I’m like– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: That’s cool. So I can– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: I can appreciate that, that approach and that understanding of food. But if you’re caught in a loop when you have anxiety about food you know that you’re eating, whenever you whenever it is, it’s like debilitating. Then I think that’s also an indication that you may have an unhealthy relationship with food. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I could. I could. I mean, and I’ve gone through that. I’ve gone through that during certain periods of time, too, um and was and then ultimately was like, okay, no, like, I’ve done the juice fast and the juice cleanses– 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –And and it’s just it’s like this is okay like like. Yes. Did I lose weight? I did. Because I lost, like, you know, water weight. But at the end of the day, I’m like, I’m tired and I’m cold and I’m mad. 

 

Kevin Curry: Mm hmm. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And I need to eat something like this– 

 

Kevin Curry: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Like, this doesn’t work for me. But what I what I’m also wondering with you, Kevin, what what has your mental health journey looked like in terms of like did you see a therapist because you said that you were experiencing suicidal thoughts? 

 

Kevin Curry: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Did you see a therapist? Did you did you get on medication? What what what did your mental health journey look like? 

 

Kevin Curry: Sure. When I first started out um and that was part of the reason why I started to work out and to get healthier, um you know, and feel better is um I was seeing a therapist and my therapist at that time, um she she sounded the alarm because she said, mm I didn’t realize that, you know, that you were going down this path as much as it was just revealed. So she put me in touch with a psychiatrist and they put together a plan. Now, that worked right then. And I started to feel better again. I started to work out. And then um I was taking the medication. And then one time I went in to go see my psychiatrist. And I was I had a lot of anxiety and he said what’s going on. I said, I haven’t taken my medication in two weeks. I did not and I just forgot. And he started chuckling. He’s like, actually, you know what? That is okay, because I don’t want you on it for the lifetime. And if you are feeling better and you don’t have it and there and you’re feeling better, then go ahead and continue on with what you’re doing because you look great. You are eating well, and I think that can accelerate your ascent out of out of depression. Now, I say that that was back then because remember that life is an evolution. We are constantly evolving. Your circumstances change the way you respond to things change. So um I’ve had to get therapy over the years. It’s not until this recent um therapy adventure where it is probably the most naked I’ve ever been in terms of dealing with stuff. And now through my own experience, I am changing the way that I’m even talking about food and looking at food, because oftentimes the things that we have going on, like when they say like you’re depressed, when they say that you struggle with anxiety, what I’m realizing is that those things may be true, but they’re not entirely true. A lot of us just have unprocessed trauma, and depending on what happened to us as a child and just in life and experiences, we respond to things in certain ways and um and sometimes, you know, in order to try to maybe cope with what we can’t articulate, we’re depressed, we’re anxious we’re we’re, you know, we’re on edge and then we reach for something to like anesthetize that pain. So getting to the root of your mental health issues is not just is not just helpful for you to feel better, but it literally is inextricably linked to every aspect of your life, your relationship with your partner, your relationship at work, relationship with your friends, as a parent, as a child. All those things make you it puts you like I’m I’m more of myself today than I have ever been in my entire life. I finally can feel that. And I see that, you know, because I’m understanding me and because I understand me, I’m giving myself grace for certain things. I can I can see myself reacting to certain reasons why, you know, to certain things. Um. I’m much more like apologetic with where when I was in my twenties. I wasn’t I was always had my fists up. And now I can’t be wrong– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right.  

 

Kevin Curry: Nah nah you’re ain’t, you going to talk to me that way. You gonna talk crazy to me now, you know? And it’s always that. But therapy, so long as you don’t go in there trying to re up on your B.S.. Therapy helps to reveal– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right.

 

Kevin Curry: –You to yourself. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah, for sure. 

 

Kevin Curry: So you can deal with the underlying issues. And as you deal with those things and confront the trauma in your life, I guarantee you every other aspect of your life will change. It will change. And not it can change. It will change because your perspective on things changes. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That is true. What is the quote? Food will either kill you or heal you. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: And that’s true. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. You know, I there was an interview that there was this British actor um or like comedian. I forget his name. But everybody, you know, he and he had a really big like drug drug um you know addiction. And he, you know, he made this comment and it always stuck with me that um, you know, the drugs are not the problem. Um. The reality is. Drugs are my solution. And how many things can–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: –You can say that to so many things in life? So–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: –It doesn’t really matter what that it is for you. The the underlying issue is the reality that is called that influences our behavior and our decisions. And we don’t know how to um cope with them. And some of us are more prone to addiction, to food addiction, to other things than others. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s good. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Exactly. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Now, what do you, okay, so if you have an addiction like this, like, you know, you have an unhealthy relationship with food, what does Thanksgiving look like? Is it like, you know, you get a pass or not even on Thanksgiving Day? Should you be off guard? 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. The most important thing that’s a that’s a brilliant question, especially around this time of year, um you know, the the most important thing, the people that I have seen that have had the most success on their wellness journey and even in their careers and even in their relationship, is they help to they tightly control the environments that they’re in or they better control them. Right. So if you know that certain things are going to trigger you to put you to go down like a path or whatnot. Like if you know this certain friend over here, you used to rock with them, but you don’t rock with them anymore and it’s less like a trigger for you. Just because that behavior reminds you of someone else. You’re probably not going to go out to Happy Hour with some friends with that person. Like no because I don’t want to be in that environment. I don’t like me in that environment. I don’t want to go back down that path. You got to look at food, food that same way. So if being in certain environments are going to not be as helpful for you, you got to create a plan. So for me, very early on it was, okay, I know that I need to enjoy this fellowship with my friends and family, but I don’t want to um overeat. So, Kevin, what you’re going to do is you’re not going to take away you know that social aspect because that’s what Thanksgiving really is. To be completely honest with you, it’s not about a whole bunch of excess food. It’s about the togetherness of the day. So, Kevin, you’re going to continue on with your regular diet the same way that you would and you’re going to eat before you go to Momma’s House. You’re going to have some water you’re going to make. You know, you’re going to carry a little water jug. You get one plate, Kev, and that one plate Kev?– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. And that one plate is not let me see if I can pack everything up there like you at Cici’s pizza. No, it is, you get a regular serving of what you would eat for a meal, and that is how you do it. And then you’re going to um sit down and talk. You’re going to talk so much, it’s going to take you forever to finish this plate. And the reason why I’m talking is I’m slowing I’m slowing stuff down, I’m slowing down that process and as I slow down the eating process. What’s happening? I’m giving the signals from my stomach time to travel all the way up to my brain to say yo man, you’re full, bro, because that’s what usually happens–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –When you don’t. You just– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: Ooo this tastes so good. [loud fake eating sounds] And before you know it, you scraping the plate and you’re like alright I think I’ll go back again. And then you eat a second plate, and you right and you eat the second plate and you’re like, I am really full. But you don’t feel that way– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. I feel awful. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah, but you. And you didn’t feel that way before, right? That’s. And that’s why I want people hear this. You didn’t feel that way. Because you were eating so fast. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: Your stomach was already full. You were already full. But because you don’t give yourself time. That’s why they’re always like eat slower, drink water– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: Chew your food. It’s literally that. So that way you can– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: –Give your body time. So in those types of environments, create a plan. That would be my solution. Create a plan for you. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. No, that’s that’s actually really good advice because I do have a tendency like I’m like every year I’m like, I’m a, I’m a chill out I’m a be chill I’ll be chill watch watch and then I get over there and I’m just like, ahhh like I’ll have, I’ll do my first, I’ll do a plate and sometimes I’ll even get a smaller plate because I will do that. I’m like, I will eat a little bit this morning because I’ve been the person that’s waited all day to eat Thanksgiving dinner and then I end up with, like, heartburn– 

 

Kevin Curry: Oh yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Because I haven’t eaten. Yeah, and that’s awful, too. And then I get over there and I’m like, ahhhh like, yum, yum, yum. And then I’ll be like, Oooh, I’m just going to go get some dessert. And then I’m like, and then I’ll eat more. And I’m like, I feel so gross. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I feel so gross. I feel so sick. 

 

Kevin Curry: Yeah, yeah. [banter]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: So so thank you for the reminder.

 

MegScoop Thomas: Ooh, I need to do this because clearly I’ve struggled with food my whole life, but I’m I’m not even going to front. Thanksgiving, I’m about to be, my plate is going to be packed. Sorry, Kevin. Okay. It might break a little bit. 

 

Kevin Curry: No no no–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –But– 

 

Kevin Curry: Well. [laughter] Listen. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s what we used to do. In my family we used to be like, who ever plate break first because we would use the styrafoam like compartment ones, about who ever plate break first we would we would like, make fun of them. So I was like, you had to always make sure like don’t put too much on your plate, if it break. I know my family’s going to laugh, so. But nah I’m not going to, and my plate ain’t gonna break, but it is going to be packed. I ain’t going to lie to you Kevin. Okay.

 

Kevin Curry: Okay. No no, first off. That is that’s beautiful, because what I heard in there was like, this is what we are are like used to. And this is a family tradition to to be funny with that when you’re pulling up the stuff and you got to break the plate it’s so good. So here’s what I would say. First off, don’t break that kind of stuff right now if you are if this is only if for the people listening out there and maybe in the back of your mind, if you’re thinking about doing this. That experience that you have is around this particular holiday and you in the way you were just talking, your face like lit up and you were you were laughing as if we could see it, you know, this moment. So what I challenge people to do is create new memories with food then. So if you want to– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s good. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. 

 

Kevin Curry: –change some eating habits. All right. And then you know what? You can still have the Thanksgiving. Let’s limit our plates. Maybe you can cook those foods in different ways. If they have less calories, you can maybe swap out, you know, this other turkey leg for some baked baked some baked chicken some make turkey legs or something like that. Right. So make the swap so perhaps they’re not as calorie dense and then maybe put in a dish there that you haven’t done before, maybe like a fresh salad or so and and do those things. So you can make the small tweaks here and there and you can still load up your plate with those things because again, it’s about making new memories around the food and there’s not going to be another sweet potato pie, another pecan pie, another pound cake, another turkey, another greens that is going to just blow your socks off. I’m just I’m just con– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: Partly just because–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –I’ve tasted a whole lot of it. But the beauty of it is in the environment that you’re in, based off of based off of where you are when you eat a meal, it actually tastes different. It tastes different.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That is that’s true. 

 

Kevin Curry: So, you know, you can make you you can literally make a pot. I mean, a good old thing of this quinoa and put it, you know, like do like a dirty rice, but use some quinoa in it, maybe some leaner beef and you know, like some lean meat and you going to serve that and all of a sudden you’re like, yo this is pretty good. It’s hitting. It’s hitting, but it’s also– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

Kevin Curry: –Like because, you know, we around friends and family, we around we we with the, you know, we with the crew. So use that to your advantage. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah, for sure. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: That’s that’s true. That– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Good advice. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –That’s absolutely true. Yeah. Well, you know what, Kevin, when I go over to my parents house [coughing in background] and I’m a think of you when I, when, when the um when that yam juice hits that macaroni and cheese, I’m a think about you because ooh, it’s like, oh, I’m like, oh, my God. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: This must be like, what God tastes like. Oh, God like this is amazing, it’s amazing. 

 

Kevin Curry: Oh. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like oh God. Yeah.

 

Kevin Curry: So yeah well y’all are amateurs. I can already tell [indistinct] y’alls plates. I don’t there are–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: First of all. 

 

Kevin Curry: –certain foods that actually cannot touch. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: You don’t know me like that. 

 

Kevin Curry: So I be [indistinct] separate thing for the greens. And you can put the dressing on those because the complimentary, you know, I’ll put my sweet potatoes over here in a separate one. Mac and cheese can be on the same plate as a dressing in the greens because those are–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay first of all–

 

Kevin Curry: –but and then I put cornbread– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You using too many plates Kevin.

 

Kevin Curry: That’s right. [banter] 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –Too many plates.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: First of all. First of all, first of all you don’t, you don’t know about this multiple plate life, okay? I’m like, don’t come up on my podcast telling me that I don’t know how to complement foods and meals and all of that. Okay. Like I know you got your little your little thing over there. I’m just playing with you. [laughter] I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding. 

 

Kevin Curry: [indistinct. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Kevin, we want to say, we want to say thank you so much for coming on to Imani State of Mind, that was a really like that was a that was a dope talk. I learned some things. Meg, I’m sure you learned some things, I’m a still– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: For sure. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m a you know what? I’m gonna think about you when I have my five plates, my five little plates, my different complementary flavors. 

 

Kevin Curry: [indistinct] mad at you. [laughter]

 

MegScoop Thomas: I’m a do better. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Thank you thank you so much. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I’m a load up on water. I’m a load up on water for sure. 

 

Kevin Curry: That’s– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. 

 

Kevin Curry: That’s beautiful. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. 

 

Kevin Curry: You know, if I could just say this, like this last thing, I don’t want people here listening to fear food. Food should be embraced. You know– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes. 

 

Kevin Curry: –If you want to eat grandmama’s recipe stuff, please go buy and go and eat those foods. That is fine to do it. If that’s your regular diet, we need to have a different conversation, but embrace that food. But you don’t have to stuff yourself either. That’s all I’ll say. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I love it. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yes. Yes, I love that. Thank you so much, Kevin Curry. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Thank you. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: For coming on here. Oh, my God. I’ve been a fan of yours forever, so thank you– 

 

Kevin Curry: Thank you. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –So much for coming on. Yeah. So that’s all we have for our deep dive conversation today. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: That was a really good discussion and that really has me thinking about how to eat differently. So thank you. But let’s move forward to our favorite segment, Pop Culture Diagnosis. [music break]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay, you guys, let’s get right into our pop culture diagnosis for this week. In honor of the New Black Panther hitting theaters. I wanted to pick somebody from the first Black Panther movie to diagnose today as we all get excited about Black Panther 2. Rest in peace, Chadwick Boseman always, forever and ever. So, Meg, I don’t know a person who is not familiar with Black Panther, but just in case someone has been living under a rock and a boulder and the entire Grand Canyon. Can you please tell us about the popular Black Panther movie and who we are diagnosing today? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes, ma’am. Wakanda forever now um– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yes. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: In the first Black Panther, what happens is you have the main character, T’Challa, which is played by Chadwick Boseman, rest in peace. Um so after the death of his father in that movie, T’Challa goes back to the African nation of Wakanda, um and he takes his rightful place as king. Now there is a you know, when a powerful enemy appears, this tests T’Challa, as a king and as Black Panther, and then he’s drawn into a conflict that puts the fate of Wakanda and the entire world at risk. So we’re going to diagnose T’challa’s cousin and the villain of the movie, Erik Stevens, better known as Killmonger, who is played by Michael B. Jordan. Fine, fine, fine, fine. His smile. I mean, goodness. That man’s smile. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. I’m a just say this because you just said that he that he was fine, fine, fine. I don’t really see it. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: It’s funny. It’s only when he smiles. When he smiles, I be like, okay, I get it. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I don’t know. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I get it girl. Look at the smile– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: He got a nice body. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: [indistinct] the smile, he does. Google the smile girl. Just google it really quick.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: He got a nice body. But I’m like, I’m like he all right. Like in the face. I mean, like, first of all–

 

MegScoop Thomas: I feel you– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Michael, he not coming to my house, so it don’t matter. But I’m like, you all right. Like I mean, I kind of felt like I guess maybe I never saw Creed. So I think a lot of people were, like, in love with him– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Like, from Creed. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And I was like. I was like, Yeah, okay. Like, um– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I I do think that was probably his sexiest role. Hmm. We’ll say that.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Creed? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Mm hmm. For sure.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. Yeah. I never–

 

MegScoop Thomas: You should look at it. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I I don’t know.

 

MegScoop Thomas: It might change your– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah no I should. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –change your view. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I don’t know. [laughter] You know, like, I had to think the other because the other day, Peter was like, well, who do you have a crush on? Like, who would you have a crush on? And I was like, honestly, like, I was like, I don’t know. And he was like, oh you lying, you lying. I was like, No, I really like it took me days. Like, he’s asked this before and it usually takes me days to come up with somebody and I’m like, I have somebody. I have somebody. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Who is it, who is it? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. His name is Yahya Abdul-Mateen the second. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Oh! 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: He was um, he he was uh Candyman and he was Doctor Manhattan. I really–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Didn’t like I knew of him, but then when he was Dr. Manhattan, I was like, Oh my God, I love Doctor Manhattan. And–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Why because you saw his–

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –he played Doctor Manhattan. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You saw him naked in that. And uh what, what was the name of that, watchmen? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You saw him naked in Watchmen? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah.

 

MegScoop Thomas: That’s why? 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I I yeah. I mean, we all saw him naked in Watchmen if you watched the whole series. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: So then that’s why– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: But but I mean– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –You liked him, huh? [laughing]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Well, also, because like during the series, like in Watchmen, like he. I didn’t understand. I was like, this man is so docile. Like, what is wrong with him? And then when the series ended, like, and it all made sense, I was like, Oh, I was like, You acting for real for real. Like, okay. I was like, alright. [laughter] I know, I was like, I would and also, you know why? Because he was also in Black Mirror. He was in this Black Mirror episode with um– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Anthony Mackie, and they ended up– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yup. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Like falling in love in a video game. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And I think seeing him in that role, too, I was like, Oh, he’s so sweet. So it it took me days and I was like, okay, I have a crush. I have one because it took me forever. But no, I don’t honestly, I don’t really be looking at people penises like that. I mean, I’m like okay– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I mean you couldn’t miss it in Watchmen, I was I was like, oh, well this is a a surprise. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I was honestly I more so was like, who had to airbrush his penis, though. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like oh my god. [banter]. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I can’t be. I don’t know how to be– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right like here you go. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: –professional like that like. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like mmmmmmm.

 

MegScoop Thomas: This whole time like yes. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Lift the sack, please. Mmmmm.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Oh, my God. Okay. So, anyway, anyway, before we went on a crazy tangent. Michael B Jordan. Okay. Is Erik Stevens?

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah that’s his real– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Right? 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Mm hmm. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Because everybody be like, oh, yeah, Erik Killmonger. I’m like, I don’t think that’s his name. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: No. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. So I love the first Black Panther for so many reasons. I love black. I love I just saw the the Wakanda forever. And I loved watching that movie.

 

MegScoop Thomas: I haven’t seen it, don’t tell me, don’t tell me. Don’t tell me what happens.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not going to tell you whappened. But, okay, this this was funny. So we, me, Peter and Idris my son went to go see it in the theaters on um this past Friday. So we left and we came home. And, you know, like when you first saw, when you saw the first Black Panther, like, you know, it was just so many Black people. Like–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I was just like, Oh, my God, oh, my God. So we came home and Peter was like, Yo, like what you you know, like, let’s watch a movie. And I was like, okay. So he turns on this movie, and I was like, so I was like, uh uh I was like turn this off. I was like something something’s wrong. Something’s wrong with this movie. Girl, it was cause it had it was all the bunch of white people was in a movie. And I was in Wakanda for like 3 hours. So when we got home–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I was like, ugh ugh ugh. I was like, Get this outta I was like, I don’t want to see this. So we kept choosing movies, and I was like, You know what? Uh uh uh uh. No. I’m like, Let’s just just turn off the TV. I’d rather watch a black screen because I can’t I’m like, I can’t deal with these white people problems. Like, I don’t care right now. I want to be up in my Black universe. So–. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Anyway, back to Wakanda, back to Black Panther. Okay, so the story of um Erik Stevens, a.k.a. killmonger, was was such an interesting one. And it–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Was so obvious that this was a Black movie because Erik is so like it was so indicative. Like he like he was he’s a villain. But we all as Black people, like Black Americans, like we felt that shit like– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right, right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Like, damn, like, yeah. We were like, we feel abandoned. And I understood his anger and his rage and his pain, especially if you got to go back and meet your African cousins. They up in here with spaceships and shit. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And they got vibranium and they out here and it’s all beautiful and you like and you left me in in ghetto ass Oakland for real. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. Yeah.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Okay. And my dad is dead. Like, this is bullshit. So I understood. Like, this is somebody who or a character who obviously has abandonment issues. So I completely understand that um his rage is understandable. Um. I don’t think that it was really, you know, focused properly um. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Correct. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I think, I you know, like he he became Black Panther. Then he gonna kill all the heart shaped herbs and now can’t nobody be Black Panther no more. And his rage has got so petty to the point of, like, it just wasn’t. It wasn’t feasible, you know, like– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: His you can’t you can’t survive that long on being that angry um and being that petty and just being that vindictive. So, um I mean, this was somebody who obviously had a lot of anger issues, um definitely depression. We saw like how upset he was when he was reunited with his dad um in the afterlife. Um. Shout out to Sterling K. Williams, who’s an amazing actor who played his dad. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Um. In um in uh Black Panther in the first one. But um yeah, I mean, I would say that Eric has depression and he also has some anger issues. And there it’s understandable, but pathologically like he really needed to significantly calm down. And I guess he did calm down when T’Challa put him down. So here we–

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Here we all are. So um. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Right. Right. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. Like, mmm okay, so. Yeah, that’s that’s what I would say. Um. And I’m not I’m this is not a spoiler. But he does make a small cameo in the new movie. That’s all I’m gonna say. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Okay. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m not gonna say anything else. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Please don’t. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m not gonna say anything, I’m not.

 

MegScoop Thomas: But after this week, if I still haven’t seen it, then I understand if you want to spoil it, because I feel like people after a week if you ain’t seen something– 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: No, I’m not going to, I’m not going to spoil it. Yeah, no, I’m not. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You deserve for it to be spoiled. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I’m not going to spoil it. The only thing I will say is that and this is like, you’ll forget this and this won’t even make sense to you when you see it. But the theme of ashyness is a central theme to the New Black Panther. It is, I swear to God. I swear it’s a major theme. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: The theme of ashyness? Okay yeah.

 

Dr. Imani Walker: It is. It is. And that’s why I was like, Ooh, this a Black ass movie. I was like, my goodness. That’s why I’m telling you. We got home. I was like, Why all these white people on my screen, ugh, I was like, Get them out of here. So anyway, um but yeah, ashyness is real. And ashyness can make you– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yes. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: –Angry and you’ll see when you when you see Wakanda Forever. So so anyway– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Not that I looked down at my hand, as you said that and I was like, Ooh, a couple of crevices. Need a little work. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Because let me tell you, I I’m lotion. I’m I’m moisturized inside out. I’m I’m lotioed up. My son does not like lotion. He never has. Even when he was a baby, like it was a struggle. Peter, don’t use lotion. I’m like who are all these ashy– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: I think that’s a man thing. I don’t think men just like I feel like they feel like it’s too much work to try to lather up. And, like, get moisturized. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Yeah. Peter’s, like, I don’t understand, like, why I got to put lotion on. I’m like, because your legs is a different color than your face. And it’s not because you haven’t been tanning, it’s because your legs is ashy as hell. So like, sometimes I be writing words and he be like, Get off me. And I’m like, Well, that’s why I wrote a whole sentence on your legs so. Go put on some lotion. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Need some lotion, there you go. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: You need some lotion. Sometimes, I’ll be writing help. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You know what? Oh, my Gosh. Poor Peter. I feel so bad for Peter. [laughing]

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I do. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Run Peter. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: I mean don’t don’t, don’t. Because I plus, I get the good kind of lotion I get Kiehl’s, too, because I have eczema, and that shit work. So I’m like, you got this expensive ass lotion in the house, you don’t want to use it. I’m like, you got problems. So– 

 

MegScoop Thomas: You just like being ashy. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: Anyway, when, when we, when we. Okay, when we was watching Black Panther. I was like, see, that’s you. That’s you right there. That’s why you mad all the time. Because you ashy all the time. [music break] That’s it for pop culture diagnosis, you guys. [laughing] We’re going to have another fun character to analyze next week. If you have suggestions for fictional characters out there, you’d like for me to diagnose. Hit me up on Twitter at @doctot_Imani hit Meg up on Instagram at @MegScoop and email the show at AskDrImani@Crooked.Com. And again, if you’re enjoying the show, don’t forget to rate and review the show on your favorite podcast apps because then I’ll give you a shout out. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Yeah. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: So thanks as always everybody for listening to Imani State of Mind. Thank you to Meg for co-hosting. 

 

MegScoop Thomas: Anytime. 

 

Dr. Imani Walker: And we’ll be back for an all new episode next week. Bye. [music break] This is a Crooked Media production. Our executive producer is Sandy Girard. Our producer is Lesley Martin. Music from Vasilis Fotopoulos, edited by Evan Sutton and special thanks to Brandon Williams, Gabi Leverette, Mellani Johnson and Matt DeGroot for promotional support.