In This Episode
This week, Guy Branum and Rheerheeq Chainey join Louis to celebrate not watching another season of Stranger Things and recount their all-time favorite Winona Ryder roles. They break down Chloé Zhao’s new film, Hamnet, and its chances in the awards field. They also take a moment to fan themselves after watching the new sultry hockey drama, Heated Rivalry, on HBO Max.
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TRANSCRIPT
Louis Virtel [AD].
Louis Virtel And we’re back with an all new episode of Keep It. I’m Louis Virtel. Here in the, shall we say, upside down with our two fabulous co hosts this week. Rheeqrheeq, do you love my extemporaneous stylings?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh my god, I love it and it came so purely out of your spirit. Oh, thank you. I think that’s what I love the most.
Louis Virtel Also this that’s all the information I have about the show Stranger Things. I’ve seen like three episodes altogether. This is Rereach and A. Welcome back.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Welcome back. Hi. Yeah, no, you have two more things than I know. But I love I mean, I like people getting excited about a show that comes back every three years. Right. Are they on what schedule or is it? It’s like winter.
Louis Virtel It’s like Winter Olympicsy, yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey It’s crazy what’s happening in Atlanta.
Guy Branum Maybe people would watch television if we knew when television happened. Say that. Yes.
Louis Virtel So this I’m joining us once again. I think you might be our most frequent guest host at this point over the years if we added them all up.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh, it’s very exciting.
Louis Virtel Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey You two love data, you’ll figure that out.
Louis Virtel Yeah. Oh yeah, we have nothing else to talk about except this nonsense. But anyway, Stranger Things is back.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey First part of the final season.
Louis Virtel Yes.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And part A, part B of it all, but happy for everyone else who’ll get the second half come Christmas.
Louis Virtel Right. And also the eighties were a fun decade, so I’m glad people are learning about that era, I guess.
Guy Branum Yeah. It’s fun to have nostalgia for it and remember back when we had like genre movies for young people that were good and interesting.
Louis Virtel Oh God. It’s been a long, long time actually. Stop pretending we we’ve been getting those recently. By the way, that Kate Bush song is still going back up the charts. Is that part of like people like the so show so much, like the memory of running up that hill, just like sp they’re like, I have to re download that ’cause by the way I lost the download
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I I think that also download stream, honey, stream. But I also think iTunes, yes. ITunes on your iPad. I do think that some people are mentally just still running up the hill.
Louis Virtel Yeah. Sure.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And also I think that is kind of the best part of a show that is like tapping into moments of pop culture nostalgia is like, yeah, let’s bring it back. Let’s have these women who were at home minding their business now get to afford their grandchildren’s.
Louis Virtel Right. I hope Kate Bush wherever she lives, between the gargoyles in which she lives, is enjoying these streams.
Guy Branum There was a a a really great like NPR interview with one of the women from Slater Kinney, I believe, basically talking about like a life where if we’re touring, this is my income. But if we’re not touring, we don’t make enough money off of that. And just being reminded that so many of these recording artists, a little moment like this, like whatever negotiations had to happen for Taylor Swift to give a writing credit to the George Michael estate.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Exactly. I’m just happy for it.
Guy Branum No, exactly. No, I feel the same thing.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey We also have Sophie Ellis Baxter. The the from when the boy drank the bathtub water. Salt burn, yes. Thank you. She’s on she has been to LA twice in the world. Sophie.
Guy Branum Sophie is rebuilding.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey She has been in t in LA twice in ten months at fully touring. So it’s amazing.
Guy Branum So it’s amazing. Sophia Ellis Bikes are understanding she is our mediumist diva. That she’s got three and a half good songs and let’s work them is magnificent.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And maybe I went to one of the concerts. I was in there waiting to shake it to the one lyric I knew and I had a great time.
Louis Virtel Is she the kind of person who you go see the concert and she has the one song, couple songs we know, but then she’s like, and here’s it’s raining men.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I think she did a cover, but it was a lot of like I totally understand why you’re here. I will be standing still most of the time. But I’m almost I’m enjoying my forties. Exactly, but I look good and that’s all I you guys really need.
Guy Branum Okay. We’re talking about a former, I believe, winner of Strictly Clum Dancing. So does know how to move when properly instructed. Also, it’s unfair singer who moves. Yes. Okay. No, but she understands she’s bad. But also during the pandemic, she famously did like kitchen disco where her husband is a guitarist for a different band. They have like eight redheaded children, all boys, and she would just put on a sparkly outfit that she had and sing covers in her kitchen and dance with her three year old. And I was in for it. So I mean, I I I’ve been there the whole time. So the salt burn magic happening was very exciting.
Louis Virtel Unfortunately you’ve also brought up the title Strictly Come Dancing, which is so a mindfuck every time it is said What? Like it’s it’s based on Strictly Ballroom. And the kink song Come Dancing. So we just put them together. No England. It’s so baffling. But also, in addition to the thrill we all have for Stranger Things coming back, it’s got me nostalgic over the great Winona writer. First of all, she is very important just as somebody who talks about the Criterion Closet. When she’s in there and like obsessed with movies, like people who are avid about acting as in watching actors and old movies, like we need those people. We need the Kirsten Dunce.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, yeah. She it does it it seems to be truly one of her special interests to stay at home and read Russian subtitles.
Louis Virtel Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And you do you do n need that. And for people who aren’t aware of her game, it’s nice that like she goes through these press cycles and reveals like she’s connected to art from centuries past. I think that’s really cool. And she’s a little spooky and we need that. Yes. I know, guys. Okay. For Wanoness is genuine. It’s genuine. She but she got knocked upside down, right side up by this industry, and she’s still here. And so yeah, like watch Heathers have a good time. And no, that girl is still in there.
Guy Branum That journey, that journey of being somebody who pushed back so hard when she was a teen star and got knocked down so many times and like came back with a spooky a spookiness and a spirituality and an otherworldliness, it makes you understand it and connects me more to those ladies who were weird in their fifties and sixties when I was young and I was like didn’t know where it came from. Yes. She also looks spectacular.
Louis Virtel Yeah, she looks great. I feel like Guy and I are gonna have the same Winona Ryder favorite movie. But I’m gonna start with Rheeqrheeq in that case because I feel like yours won’t be the same.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey No, and it’s really st okay. I really like her in Mr. D
Louis Virtel I thought you were gonna say Mr. Deeds. I literally was like, She’s not gonna start me on Mr. Deeds this morning. I love Mr. Deeds. Keep going.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Okay. Keep going. So, okay, I really love Mr. Deeds. I I’m I am a fan of Adam Sandler. Like even like that. Like, I don’t know. I’m gonna get you some vitamins. Because I like also he what he refers as himself as Sandman and the fact that his body was a little secret crazy. He had a sneaky body at the time. But Winona Ryder in that movie, like the arc of it, it takes a while to reveal that she’s also mentally ill, like this town full of like Steve Buscemi with one eye going w different way, and John de Toro as the butler, but also the heir to the throne. But Winona is like trying to hold the crazy in so much. She’s like, I’m just the hot girl in the film until they let her free. And I love it. And yeah, I was in middle school, and sometimes that shit sticks.
Louis Virtel Okay, yeah. But no, the way you describe it, there’s like some Silver Linnings playbook going on.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, yeah, there’s a lot of strange like welcome to the strange, strange town.
Guy Branum But I I I I also think in like the man centric comedy movie, whether you are treating the woman as interchangeable, that Tia Leone can simply be lifted out of bad boys and no one’s going to notice, or whether you are understanding that this person is part of the magic and part of the crazy and if you make space for a Linda Fiorentino in Men in Black, that that makes a different and better movie.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, yeah. Especially when it’s like Adam Sandlin, all of them seem to be aware of like, Oh, we got this girl, we always had a crush on, but she can toe to toe. Yes. Yeah. And that isn’t always where we’re placing our feminine spaces anymore.
Louis Virtel Now am I right? What’s your favorite Winona Ryder movie?
Guy Branum Well in the in the prep materials it was rolls. So I came specifically with Charlotte Flax from Mermaids.
Louis Virtel Oh my god. Oh, interesting. Oh no, it’s not what I expected. Okay.
Guy Branum Okay. I just think she played so many quirky and interesting teenagers at that time who like didn’t fit into the world around them. And like were you assuming I would say Lydia Deets? No, I was gonna say little women, which I love her in. I do love little women, but you also need to remember I’m also a how to make an American quilt guy. Oh wow. That’s a real spectacle.
Louis Virtel Yeah. It’s a homosexual of a certain caliber, if you’re paying attention.
Guy Branum But sh like Mermaids is such a weird movie. Yeah. Everyone in it is a heavy hitter. And it was just
Louis Virtel And the darkest of hair.
Guy Branum The darkest of him. So glamorous. Like so like it’s such a grounded, quirky performance. Like it doesn’t have ghosts. They’re having to make all of the ghosts inside. And like I really love that movie, and I really love what she brings to the craziness of that character, but also the relationships with Cher and Christina Ricci, who are also, you know, too much.
Louis Virtel Sh we could have a share film festival by the way, and we should because she’s not in that many movies and most of
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yes.
Louis Virtel You know, like even like suspect she’s good in, which is I think a lower tier share movie.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey My favorite Thanksgiving movie, burlesque, only because it came out over Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite movie.
Louis Virtel Remember what remember Kristen Bell in that movie and she’s like I’m a
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I’m a drunk driver. In l I wanna say a shake and go pre-Amazon shake and go.
Louis Virtel Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey But she but it’s like she’s brunette. She’s evil. And Sheron’s like, girl, what’s your name? Like the whole thing is so amazing. Also we learned about air rights and you know
Louis Virtel No, l the legality of that. I wonder how many drafts in before they got to air rights as a way to solve that movement.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Right. There’s a way to solve that movie. It was like, guys, what’s the thing? What is how is Christina Aguilera’s character have the highest level of intelligence? It’s air rights from Eric Dane, like known hottie. I it’s so it’s an amazing film. Robin Anton, thank you for that.
Louis Virtel Yes. So little women. I mean, the thing that shocked me about Winoda Writers when she emerged on the scene, as you just said, she was like the definitive Gen X teenager, like the the actual angst it’s shocking she wasn’t in the background on the Smells Like Teen Spirit video, for example. Or in every Gen X movie. It’s surprising she wasn’t the star of the movie Pump Up the Volume, for example. But Samantha Mathis did good work. I would say she was fine. I would say Kristen Slater, amazing in that movie.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I feel so young and free right now by this part of this question. But she’s the heart of little women. Yeah, no it’s aware.
Louis Virtel Yeah, no, it’s like she’s so weirdly appropriate in a period piece. She showed us that in The Age of Innocence First, for which she was nominated for an Oscar. And then in this movie, which I think is the best little women. And to be honest, I kind of can’t explain why. It’s just that all the actresses give it kind of a light touch, and it has a sort of holiday movie spirit, even though it’s about the strong wills of these characters. And I also love Christian Bale in that movie. So I’m shocked to say that I I wish Winona Writer did more period work.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah.
Louis Virtel You know?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I just
Louis Virtel She’s also in great balls of fire around that ten that sort of period.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey She does appear in a hoop skirt a couple of times. Yeah. But there is something so specific of like her face was so contemporary for the eighties. Yeah. But also there is a certain white facial architecture that can work in many different centuries. And she does have it.
Louis Virtel It’s the gossamer skin.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Right. Yeah.
Guy Branum That translates. It is hard for a short hair American to go period. You know? But I like Joe March is like requiring that little bit of soft butch energy that she Or she likes to write. Yes.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey That’s the first sign. To be queer is to write. To have a journal?
Louis Virtel Imagine yourself a pirate. Okay, well, I’m glad we uncovered all that. This episode, we’re gonna get into some even, I’ll say sadder period garb with the movie Hamnets, the new Chloe Zhao movie starring Paul Meskell and Jesse Buckley, and some children, I hope we’ll discuss. And then additionally, less sinister, or more sinister in a different way. Have you heard of this show, Heated Rivalry? I sure have. Guys, I have bad news. It is a double entendre. There are these hockey players that there’s a bit of a rivalry professionally, but then they involve gay sex, which is
Guy Branum Heated. Do you think that that could possibly warm up the ice? The notorious like cold place where hockey takes place? We will have to ask Danielle Steve.
Louis Virtel Because the title Heated Rivalry is so eighties trash book. I’m obsessed with the
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I will be watching every minute of the show.
Louis Virtel Yes. So there’s two episodes up now. It comes from a foreign planet called Canada. We’ll discuss that too. And then eventually get this. We’re gonna switch up the last segment of the episode. Normally that’s the keep it segment, but we’re gonna do something new and a bit more extemporaneous. So get your improv Olympic level one credibility out.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh god.
Louis Virtel And we’ll be right back with more keep it.
Louis Virtel [AD].
Louis Virtel Khobie Zhao’s hamnet premiered last week. She directed and co-wrote the film adaptation of Maggie O’Farrell’s novel, which stars Jesse Buckley and Paul Meskell as Anyas and William Shakespeare. Him. Grieving the loss of their son. The film is already a top awards contender, but we’ll be the judge of that, along with Zhao’s chances for best director in this season’s awards race. Who wept? I weep at almost anything, but God knows I wept. You did? Okay. Yeah. I did not weep, but explain what got to you the most in this movie.
Guy Branum Like I I think it was those first moments when I realized that this story wasn’t going to go to London that much, and that it was going to be Anyas’ story, and that it was about building a heart for the other half of this relationship, and not a heart that was like explicitly adversarial, that this like when I realized that this was going to be a real human story, that wasn’t too proud of itself for being look at me, I’m imagining what the woman’s interior life was like, but just like a real human story, and that there would be Shakespeare-sized magic and really, really like delightful and witty homage to the theatricality of the stuff that he did without being, I hate a trite, and this happened in real life, and then they put it into the play. And it wasn’t being tritely one to one about that. It was a real organic story that then gets heart wrenching, but I don’t know that the heart wrenching parts were the things that made me cry as much as just realizing, oh, I love this character.
Louis Virtel So Jesse Buckley in this movie gets into a relationship with William Shakespeare. They have a bunch of kids rather quickly. And then his writing career, which as you know somewhat took off, starts to tear him away from her. He has to go to London all the time. And then he doesn’t get back fast enough when one of the kids is in a a life or death situation. One of the kids dies unexpectedly. And then eventually he sort of solves this spiritually by writing his name into the play, Hamlet.
Guy Branum Like what to me was like really striking and surprising was that it wasn’t a oh, he’s always off in London, having his interesting life. That like Anyas is the person who sends him off to London. She understands that his soul needs this and he’s only going to be a good partner to her if he has that. And I just thought it was like you know, it was an evolution of us being able to write men are from Mars, Women are from Vetus style. Like we approach things differently, but like really having their worldviews come to a head when this sun dies, and she’s like, How can you not be here? Like it felt real and grounded. What did you think?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Think that What I really enjoyed about Anya’s and mostly Jesse Buckley’s performance is that when you meet her, her life is already so full.
Guy Branum Yes.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey So she is and it’s so important to mention a force witch. She is a she is a witch.
Louis Virtel Oh, she immediately has a hawk on her.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, she has a hawk and a glove, and you’re like, oh girl, I get it. But she has this entire interior and spiritual life that isn’t connected to being dicked down by Paul Meskel, and Lord knows I wish that would change my spiritual life. And so when she finds this artistic person, she is aware that of who she chose. Yes. And it’s okay to release them. It’s okay, yes, I am pregnant. Yes, I taking care of our oldest daughter, Susanna, but babe, go. And I think that because of the facts we have around the very few facts we have around the original couple. A lot of people have made a lot of assumptions about what that relationship must have been. Her being older than him. Yeah, he was wearing capris in the city. So there have been there’s a lot of judgment of like, oh, maybe she was resentful back in Stratford. And like you said, I think that that’s the most tugging part for was the most tugging part for me. It’s like she is okay and she’s built her this life, and part of that is knowing that she can care for her children and she will do anything. And medically she couldn’t. And that’s where they have come into conflict and no, she can no longer hold space for him, holding space for his genius. And it’s really, I mean, the it starts haunting and it stays haunting the whole time. You know, kind of what the timber of the pieces from the beginning is.
Louis Virtel I would almost say that was a flaw for me. Whereas like her her character, as you said, has these like interesting qualities, whatever, but in a way, the movie is static in a way where you she can only be devastated for the movie to get where it needs to go. So I was sort of waiting for her to get to a place where she is wrenching on screen. And you do get that, of course.
Guy Branum I just thought that there was so much happiness and engagement and love of life from Anyas’ character and from Jesse Buckley’s performance that I didn’t feel this sort of like we’re destined towards devastation. There was like Alma Dovar level like magic that was going on. And it felt like such a beautiful counterbalance to we always talk about like Shakespeare is being rooted in classical stuff and use Latin Tutor and all of that, and just being like, yeah. But this is where the like, you know, naturey shit from Tamon of Athens and everything like that comes from. It just felt like such good grounded magic that I was really there for it. And let’s
Louis Virtel And let’s be clear visually, the movie is stunning from the jump. The minute you like see the first frame of this movie, the greenery of this film.
Guy Branum Too many ferns.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah. The Tapestry of Moss, you know, we gotta it’s the it’s the mossiest movie of all time. It’s the bossiest movie we’ve ever had. And guy, I totally hear you in terms of like the roots and the grounding of like where a lot of pleasure and art we’ve gotten, we can see that sprinkled in. But there for me there was an overcast above the entire thing from the beginning. And it’s not just because it starts with a s a spooky tree cave that we’re like what is beyond that veil. Yeah. But the veil is I felt always ever present. And I that felt purposeful because if you even if you had a light Google of what’s going on, or who if you have awareness of the name, you know what’s gonna drop on you. But it’s the living in between that is is beautiful and you flirt with the boy and you play swords with your son and you hell all of that. But I was like holding my tits for an hour because I knew it was coming. And that I don’t know if that’s like a self generated had not taken my Lexapro issue, or if it was, which I think was truthful that the author decided like you can enjoy you can you can witness this joy in process and know that it is temporary.
Louis Virtel Also, I wanna say, like, yeah, there’s nothing technically wrong with there being a foreboding quality to it, but at the same time it was foreboding.
Guy Branum It was for I think the fact that everyone’s approach was let’s make this work in the best way possible, that there wasn’t that sort of interpersonal conflict made me a little more comfortable with the the fact that our conflict was going to be existential. Yeah. And that that was gonna run before the interpersonal stuff. Though I do have to say, let’s talk about Emily Watson.
Louis Virtel Oh yeah. Okay, that’s gonna be. Guys, I did not know that Emily Watson was going to be in this movie. I know some of you younger people know her from the hit show Chernobyl. But a lot of us know her from at one point she broke the waves in a Lars von Trier movie. She was a cellist in Hillary and Jackie. And sometimes when you’re gay, you get to say the words Jacqueline Dupree and you like it.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey She’s also in the Dune prequel right now for HBO Max. Just really ruining people’s lives with her mind. And also, you know this Mr. Dean’s. She was in punch drug love. Yes. She’s she is she is a a British woman of esteem.
Louis Virtel Yes.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And she arrived holding her rosary and I knew it was about to go down.
Guy Branum The thing is this, but watching somebody who comes from Lars von Trier, who is kooky weird lady, having her show up as British woman lady of esteem, it is like that’s not a dame, but like seeing her do dame work very exciting. And also having her come in as a goddamn wrecking ball to distract us a little bit during the beginning of the second act.
Louis Virtel Yeah.
Guy Branum From this existential dread and then w watching her coming to the point where we all need to make it work was really, really lovely. I like I just there was such temptation for this movie to like make her a bad guy because she wouldn’t let Anya go to the woods to have her baby and stuff like that.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well, I mean, I’m sorry. She was suspicious of the witch. And I like and okay, historically, those are the ladies that will get me drowned. I’m not trying to be on our side. But it there is some like what you’re saying, you’re like it was strange to see her in that sort of Elizabethan, like heavy material telling him, like, oh no, she’s gonna steal your soul from the like the Christianity that we were raised in. And an hour later, of course that woman has been touched by by this sort of pain and slowly derobing that from her and and also her being okay that her son is a playwright. That was like, God damn, that take a lot of parents a lot of time.
Louis Virtel Also just Emily Watson though has one of these faces where every emotion registers on it. Like the movie stops around this moment. I’m trying to like someone like like Juliette Benoche is a little bit similar where it’s like the interiority is so strong, it’s like these people are their own movie when they’re on screen.
Guy Branum At the table, when they’re sitting at the table having like one of the first big conversations, Chloe Zhou just gives you a screen full of Emily Watson’s face. And it’s like, that’s all we want is this woman wearing clothes that are architecture, looking like a goddamn recusant Catholic cathedral.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And again, if it was a different director, you would stay on, you know, Paul and his father, ’cause they have issues. They’re glove makers, but they have issues. But it’s no, it’s like who is witnessing that and trying to maintain some sort of peace where there is none.
Guy Branum The moment I fell in love with this movie was in the church where they get married when I realized, oh, it’s not about him. I had assumed we were going into a movie about Shakespeare. And it’s like, no, this is about the other person in this relationship. And I it was really when I fell in love.
Louis Virtel Well, it’s an interesting take on Shakespeare also because one, nobody has ever accused Shakespeare of being hot. So already, like you’re putting me in another headspace. But secondly, like he is this determined writer. He’s also, if I’m reading his characterization correctly, spectrum-y? Like kind of like circling her and like touching her.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Strange way like he’s mentions that he’s like I have trouble communicating with people if I’m not on the page, which is like we know some people like that.
Louis Virtel Yeah. That’s true. That’s what text threads are for.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey That is what where they get their feelings out. But yeah, i there is a bit of the women that maintain these men, but then he can go.
Guy Branum Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And she’s gonna maintain their life. And yes, some of it is dealing with w who he leaves in the wake, which are these kids who are so fed by his presence, but then it goes away for n I’m guessing eight to nine months a year. Yeah. But Jesse Buckley, speaking of everything flickering over someone’s face, she has this ability, this ability to feel austere or feel have a a mask on, but you can still see the like pains flicker behind it. Even before it gets to the grieving of it. She is someone holding it together. And it’s like, I know I have to, these are the steps I need to do to be a wife and be the woman I want to be, who was not raised by the woman I wanted to be raised by. It is very kind. I just I knew she was gonna keen when she started grieving, and I and we know a keen in’s coming.
Louis Virtel Yeah.
Guy Branum It reminded me a little bit of the Fable Mans, just in telling a story about how well-intentioned good people can hurt each other. Because I I really was surprised that it let both of them be very good parents to those children. I was surprised. And I was also look, there are these attempts to be clever and charming with your integration of Shakespeare into your play on Shakespeare. And things like the cross-dressing between the twins, the bed trick where the person who gets confused by the bed trick is deaf. Like the it really felt so smart and well calculated and well put together and not overdone that I was just in love with the texture of this thing s so much.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And you ha and then they and you have to be. I am a dialog, talk me down type of girl, as evidenced by me speaking to this microphone. But the layering and the texture and just the fibers that have stuck on us from his work, whether he wrote it all himself, have stuck on us in his work that they have sent into the ether through this film. That was fun. That is like the nerd part of me to be like, oh no, the kids talking to death. Like it’s not a good thing.
Louis Virtel No way, speaking of integrating Shakespeare, though, what did you think when he This is the thing that happens in movies about writers? I immediately thought of the Dorothy Parker movie, Mrs. Parker, in the vicious circle with Jennifer Jason Lee. Now, this is different because she allegedly came up with some of this stuff in conversation, like some of her most famous lines. But when Shakespeare in Peril starts reciting to be or not to be to himself.
Guy Branum Did we love it? It made me mad. It made me mad because that’s not how inspiration happens. When he said just to be or not to be, I was like, that’s enough. But then he goes into
Louis Virtel The whole thing. He’s in note perfect.
Guy Branum And the thing it pissed me off. I think the best representation we have of the creative process is the Mike Lee film Topsy Turvy. Oh, sure. Gilbert and Sullivan movie. A sword falls on W.S. Gilbert’s head and he’s just like, what if a little guy had a big sword? And like the rest of the movie is putting everything else in there. And like if he had just had the moment of like, oh wow, we’re spending this whole life deciding whether we should live or or die, that’s fine. When it’s the whole fully formed soliloquy, I’m gonna walk away.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey But he’s in rehearsal. I’m on Will I’m on Will’s side. Sometimes you have to hear the speech to know if the speech works and sometimes you gotta be on the bridge. You gotta about to be jumping to see the wish.
Louis Virtel I we talked about this a couple weeks ago. Catherine Hepburn won her first Oscar for a movie where they just slide in her doing Shakespearean monologs and she’s an actress and she does them really well. So I kind of felt like it was a gambit for the city. No, they wanted to go Paul the scene.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Not that it was badly done. No, you want to see that that boy with his little earring doing the scene. I do understand it, but I did feel like because we had kind of shifted more into his perspective in that part in the latter end of the movie that we didn’t have going forward. I did want to see how he is processing that as he goes forward. I get it, it’s a little, he’s on a bog, he might jump. But but there is that’s how he works, that’s how the only way he’s gonna see his way through this. Yeah. And I think that that was a fair choice. A long cut.
Guy Branum But a fair choice. First of all. When we got the little scene of her getting to his little apartment in London and just be like, Oh, I thought it would be fancier than he just lives in that
Louis Virtel Well, by the way though, it’s it’s relevant to bring up that movie because the end of this movie is a toast to how Shakespeare was performed in those days, which is the most pleasurable part of Shakespeare in love. And you see Jesse Buckley watching this performance and initially offended that he’s invoking the name of their dead child before turning around. And yes, she doesn’t understand the like the the theater and how to behave at it.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey She’s not from the city. Yes. Yes, I loved that.
Louis Virtel But also it was like kind of comedy. Yes. Like if you had never seen theater before and just wandered into it, would you be like, Shut up?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Like, why isn’t my quiet? Yeah. I got things to say. No, that’s like, but also because this is a much more naturalistic, the hinges are not glistening, you know, Colin Firth isn’t going to show up version of it, the globe feeling so intimate and feeling so real. And and we just have a backdrop and we have six players on screen. It is possible to reach out and touch them.
Guy Branum I mean, I love anything where we play with the audience getting to come back at the thing that they have been watching. So her reaching out, so good. But also I need to talk about the nail beds within this film.
Louis Virtel Oh.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I was thinking the same the makeup artists were focused on those nail beds.
Guy Branum Like the these are the hands of people who live.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Who work.
Guy Branum Who live and work.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah.
Guy Branum Like Shakespeare’s middle finger is always ink stained. Everybody’s hands are dirty. Like it
Rheeqrheeq Chainey The little kids’ hands, it’s like they put like ’cause their mother’s a gardener. They’re always a little dirty. But I definitely imagine them in the trailer getting that done. Yeah. Like and I think that that’s that’s my mental illness. And I was like, some lovely name lady named Letitia was doing that outside London.
Louis Virtel But she has a dramaturgy degree.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh I know.
Louis Virtel I think the look of the movie is actually the most triumphant part of it. You know, like I didn’t feel 2025 in any way. And by the way, it doesn’t remind me of anything else Chloe Zhao has done. Well, if Chloe.
Guy Branum Ciao. A woman who loves a long vista. She loves a vista. Making a movie this chalky and this much about language made me really excited. Yeah. I mean, the other truly triumphant and successful thing about it is Jesse Buckley’s performance. And I really feel like I question whether another woman is going to be given a vehicle that will give her the opportunity to make a splash in the best actress race the way that Jesse Buckley is really staked us in terror.
Louis Virtel Yeah. I mean who would even be her main competition at this point? Cynthia? No. No, I mean it’s like she was fine.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah. Because like and respectfully, I I think that for me, for good didn’t feel so potent in the same way that like the first half of that story is better. Yeah. And so it’s like I love times when women win best actress or best supporting for singing a song. Yeah. It’s one of my favorite categories of things. I’m I’m not sure that’s gonna happen right now. And like what you’re saying is like Jesse had so much meat to act through.
Guy Branum Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey That I don’t see you watching any of the other beautiful performances that we had and feeling like, Oh, I just got stabbed in the tit.
Guy Branum Yes. Well and I think like a a very interesting, heartfelt performance like if I had like Zy’d kick you in a smaller film that isn’t directed by Chloe Joe that isn’t gonna be nominated for the first time.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey It’s like I guess, you know, like the chase of it all, again, to speak to category fraud, I don’t think that’s really gonna work out, but I think she’s does something. Oh, Chase Infinity and Chase Infinity one battle after another. Yeah, I and I’m who who else do we have? Sentimental value.
Louis Virtel Oh yeah, Renata. Who whose moment will come?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well come, but again, I think it’s like that’s also an interesting situation of like subtlety and direction in space, but doesn’t ha allow for that scene, that feeling of that scene.
Guy Branum Also, let me say as an older person, it is important to give people their Oscar in the year when they should be getting their Oscar. I no, no, I’m saying about
Louis Virtel How many?
Guy Branum Yeah. Want it, it would be too early. Oh, that’s interesting. Well, we we do give to men later, but I just think not giving it to Tom Cruise for Magnolia was just a collective communal mistake that we’ve been paying for for years.
Louis Virtel No, by the way, when when we finally did give it to Brad Pitt and it was in supporting, it was like correct. Yes. Of course.
Guy Branum Yeah. Like George Clooney, this is what we do and Brad Pitt is not going to direct something when he’s sixty seven that will win him a best director, Oscar. Not true.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey He’s gonna say around that is gonna be good for us.
Louis Virtel No. Oh yeah, no. His his his viewpoint is going to improve.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, exactly. But I think F two will be great. Yeah.
Louis Virtel Yeah. Oh good lord. No, Chloe Ja was of course won the best director Oscar before, but I mean this year is so all about Paul Thomas Anderson. I can’t imagine there’s a path forward for anybody else.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey The hard part and and she set herself up because Nomad Land had a similar attention to the sands of time. Yes. Oh, as it like flows through the air in the pollen and my headphones fall off. I do think that a lot of people who are not gonna who are not gonna look specifically enough to see what Chloe is doing differently.
Louis Virtel Yeah. Because Yeah, that it’s like period piece that looks good.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And they’re like, oh, moss. Over there it was dirt. And like I think that that would be unfair, but I think that it is something that we should be aware of. Whereas I think Paul Thomas Anderson, for better or for worse, I c still to keep thinking about that movie. So I think he’s probably gonna get it. Oh God, do I wish Tiana had one more scene.
Louis Virtel I just want her to clear that category and now this other little girl, Ariana’s gonna take it.
Guy Branum I would have liked one battle after another if like two more times women had talked to each other.
Louis Virtel Oh yeah. Well again, we talked before about how Regina Hall certainly signed on for more than what we got from this.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I do think that head nun had a monolog that I would like to see the cut of. Yes. But yeah, no, I totally hear that.
Guy Branum Instead we got cars.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well they’re chasing. They have to ch they’re chasing them uphill, Daddy. I but I do feel like they’re I feel with everything with the Oscars, it’s like where are we as a society and like what do we wanna like applaud? And I think in terms of when it comes to Hamnet, yeah, there is this sort of it’s a maternal peace. We love mommy. I think we’re in a daddy era right now. And I think the idea of like something that is responsive and a little violent and and chaotic is feels of the moment right now as we see as the world burns.
Louis Virtel Yeah, I think unfortunately people watch a movie like One Battle After Another and their response to that kind of movie is the movies are back.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Mm-hmm.
Louis Virtel Whereas they see a movie like this and think, Oh what a good period. Peace. Yeah I mean
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, I mean even if you think of like sinners, which at this point, how many years have I lived since sinners came here?
Louis Virtel Right. By the way, at the Gotham’s we gave the supporting performance award to Wumi Musaku, who is fabulous in centers.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I mean, talk about an apothecary with a good old body. Like she makes the tea, the body with tea, the acting with tea. I loved her. She’s in Loki, and she was fabulous in Lovecraft Country and played a if you want to watch a supercut that really will fuck with your mind, her performance as a woman able to change her body and her race in that show. A show that I wish I had had more time. She is so good and so hot and British. And like, bring it back. Let’s have that.
Louis Virtel I feel like the only way this Oscar season will get actually fascinating is if Sinners has a big run up back to the Oscars.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey They have a plan because I’ve gotten a couple black people, you wanna come and have a meeting about this movie? So I think that they are trying to push and they’re gonna be everywhere the next couple of months. But I just feel like if it had not been May, if they had I know
Guy Branum I know it’s so long ago. Like it is the difficulty of putting something like that out to be able to make money because of course it has to be able to make money and have a bunch of articles about how it’s not making enough money, even though it’s making money. So much more money than everything else. Yes. But like it’s the last time I was at the movies and I was transported to a place I have not been and want to be in. I was listening.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I was listening to the blues and jazz after it. That was crazy.
Guy Branum It like it was I was just like, Oh my god, we never go to this world. Like these are rich and interesting lives and this is such a fun take on it. And I was like
Louis Virtel It was like four different genres and became different ones at different moments. And also, by the way, it feels like Delroy Lindo has a nomination in him coming up at some point. Why not this year?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Like yeah, but it’s it’s that’s one of those where I’m like the business of it, they had to place it there for it to have had the chance that it had and to be re-released. Cinder’s had a re release already this year. I do I hope that Ryan gets it you know, a little bit of applause for that ’cause he made a really beautiful movie.
Louis Virtel Anyway, so we love Hamlet. It turns out we love it. We’ll be right back after this with an equally esteemable drama. Heated rivalry. But first, some quick housekeeping.
Louis Virtel [AD]
Louis Virtel Now, if you’re a gay person with social media, you’ve seen the discourse discourse about HBO Max’s heated rivalry, a sultry sports romance drama about two hockey players slapping sticks in between hard fought games. I believe a straight man wrote this copy on the ice. Guy and Rheeqrheeq, let’s discuss whether this Canadian import deserves to be raised to the rafters of our horny TV Hall of Fame.
Guy Branum It is not about slapping sticks. It is quite explicitly about getting that puck into that hole. Okay, that’s true. Thank you, representation. Yes.
Louis Virtel And icing. I’m moving on.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey So I love to take a quick nap. I love when I wake up and the algorithm has changed. And when I woke up on Friday, all I just I just kept seeing some just gorgeous butts. And I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And it was heated railroad.
Guy Branum Rheeqrheeq, as you do so frequently, you’ve gotten to the heart of the issue so quickly. Okay, I was never going to watch this thing. I have a generalized fear about our world of gay romance that is written by heterosexual women. Oh, sure. Well, they’re too powerful. I’m very skeptical of it, and I knew nothing about this show. I do love that now what Netflix and HBO are for is letting us watch Star’s original series or original Canadian content. In a forum that is respectable. But to your point, when I saw that both of the men had hockey asses, that they had big asses, not in the way of gay big asses, but in the way of hockey, I was like this show, and I started doing my light Googling. And realizing that the showrunner is Jacob Tierney, the co-creator of Letter Kenny, an astoundingly funny good show. Great show. And Shoresy, a show that is about hockey, like made me understand, and also a gay guy. Like why the show is hot, why this show is good, like why it doesn’t have the soapiness that I don’t like from most sexy shows. This is a show that’s like getting to the fucking and not murdering anyone.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey But we’re using show really in a wild way.
Guy Branum *Laughing*
Rheeqrheeq Chainey We were watching the yets of ass. And I think that that and that I also am totally fine with that. I am someone who has watched Super Cuts of Since Eight Orgies. Okay. I’m on the wrong side of history. But they it is this interesting thing. And you’re completely right of like you can tell that this was a man, a gay man, who is at the helm of this because the variety within an what, an hour and forty minutes between two episodes of what we’re seeing. I was like, I don’t know how you beat this. Yeah, no. But I bet you’ll be beating it up. Well also yeah, Jesus Christ.
Louis Virtel Well, also, yeah, Jesus Christ. Yeah, no, it’s very unpretentiously just a sexy show. This isn’t sort of masquerading as prestige in any way. There is some it’s it’s beautifully lit in a certain way. You might mistake that for prestigious. But otherwise, the thing I love about this show is they’ll get into a sex scene between these two guys who are on opposite teams who are equally like up in commerce. God, everything is a fucking pun. And when they finally get into it, they start having sex, and then it sort of feels like it’s fading to black, you know, like the way that we criticize these things for. And then it just fades in on them doing another position. And then fades in on them doing another position.
Guy Branum My real concrete criticism of like so much of this written content about gay male lives coming from heterosexual women is that it’s like we’re creating a situation where we’re making it feel like it’s unsavory for queer people to acculturate our own people. And so much of their acculturation is coming from these people who have not lived these lives. And there were so many things in the flirtation between these guys that felt real and organic. Like we all had to have sex with people at some place of closetedness during our time. And understanding the ways that they can be direct or indirect, it felt just so real and observed. But also, I was having this sort of like vague anxiety about how come all the respectable things about gay guys are written by straight women. And then fucking Jennifer Weiner’s substack comes out today and it’s like, guys, I’ve been thinking about this. And she has a really great, concise, basically making the argument that, like, yeah, publishing is 90% written by women.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, let’s start with that.
Guy Branum It’s gonna be for women, guys. Like, if you would like books to be more for you, buy a book. But then also in a very Jennifer Weiner way, is like, how would I feel if everything about women was written by men? How would I feel Well, we did it for a long time. We did it for a long time. Who was Jennifer Weiner? Jennifer Weiner wrote like in her shoes and a book. Oh like she’s a a great author, but one of in that romance space. But also was somebody who said, if I were a man, this would be considered literary fiction, but because I’m a woman, it’s considered chiclet. And she gets into some fights on socials and is one of those people, but like is a good thinker, and I really respect her.
Louis Virtel Be said also though that this show in a good way reminds me of, and I know I’ve used this reference recently, MTV’s undressed, where it always happens in the gay storylines in that show. If you haven’t seen the show, it was like a soapy, sort of sexy show that aired after hours on MTV. And in the gay storylines, there was always one guy who was like the cocky, more experienced one, and then there was the neurotic, less experienced one. And the neurotic, less experienced guy always called the other one such a dick or such an asshole. This guy says you’re such a fucking asshole, this guy like two thousand times.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well, that’s because they’re bros. And that’s how bros talk. Also, it’s very important to recognize that this is in theory set in 2000, it starts in 2006. Oh, yeah. It spans years and years. It’s truly gone with the wind. It is the decade of their lives. And so they’re sexting on BBM. Oh, we’ve been there. We’ve all been there. But I like guy, I hear you in terms of like these women writing this fantasyful, potent sexuality that like isn’t based in their experience. But they’re also there’s an appreciation from those women because that’s their way to be able to speak like that and to like actually like engage in like I want to get, I want sex and I want it now in a way that’s accepted through like the ciphers of hot gay men.
Guy Branum The thing is, is I have no problem with that. My problem is the me feeling the need to make it sad. Like it’s my problem is more like what’s the book that everyone was reading with the sad man on the cover?
Louis Virtel Honey.
Guy Branum The inheritance? No.
Louis Virtel No no no no the the gay one? The the gay one. Yeah. I mean the the Hanya, whatever, whatever. Yes. A little life. A little life, yes. Oh well that’s
Guy Branum Yeah, that’s it. My problem is that not like the beautiful world that Japan has been doing for decades of I I would like to talk about fucking in a way where nobody is oppressed. Let’s do this with two dicks. Like that I’m excited for and I don’t think because I’m not reading these things, I didn’t realize how much it was that and like this show really converted
Rheeqrheeq Chainey As someone and we’ve spent all spent time in writers’ rooms, I’m someone who is always the one doing the what percentage of each episode can be horny. And what and so they’re at a good sixty two percent of an episode.
Louis Virtel I’ve never seen the percentages like I’ve seen it on this show.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I see it on the show. I am fascinated on how they can sustain this. Yes. And ’cause it’s it’s to Canada, so it’s gonna be like eight eight episodes. So we’re gonna get hours of this and I’m so excited.
Louis Virtel And by the way, also this is again, we’ve said this before, from a place called Canada. Yeah. Who knew they were doing this? I guess they do possess hockey.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well, they want they love communal spaces.
Guy Branum Okay, I would like to make a couple of points. The first is the way that they are clipping through time, it’s like in four episodes we’re gonna be in the future.
Louis Virtel Yeah, is this Orlando by Virginia Wallace?
Guy Branum Yes, they’re not treating it as a television show in a way that is upsetting. Like the way that Shane is like constantly being like, oh, that guy’s a dick. It is a very Canadian structure of Boy Scoutiness that has to be like a a little too like sweet in the mouth in a way that is like, you know, to an American is distasteful, but it’s what they have to do. And also, Crave has been making good stuff. Letter Kenny is a really good show. Also, kind of a horny show for a comedy. Shortsy is really good. Like, I am uncomfortable that like between Shits Creek and Kim’s Convenience, that they have figured out how to make a show that is as funny as a show that we make. Like they they’re not gonna be able to do that. But they’ve been coming down here for years. They have been coming down here for years. Stealing our technology, sitting on our writers’ rooms, and then going back up north and for one third of the pay, you believe. And that’s the real tea.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey It’s like down there, do you know they have sweet green? Okay, I think it’s a little bit more than that.
Louis Virtel You believe Alanis Morissette was a sort of spy stealing Glenn Ballard’s equipment and going back up to the Great White North.
Guy Branum Do you remember?
Louis Virtel I don’t remember her song. I just honestly remember Insensitive is the name of that song.
Guy Branum Her rosy appearances were some of the best rosy appearances that anyone made.
Louis Virtel That’s you’re a lot.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, these references do connect to the period piece we’re talking about. Yeah.
Louis Virtel Also, by the way, it said this show starts in two thousand eight. Yeah. So I have to say I’m a fan of this moment speaking of Saltburn, where we’re nostalgic for that time a little bit.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Because at this point it’s been what? So many years. Eighteen years.
Louis Virtel If if you made the the movie Grease today and if you did the math, that movie or the the the musical came out in nineteen seventy one and that it’s based in nineteen fifty nine. So we’re basically like that’s our Greece era.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah. Well, it’s like in theory, the people who are close enough to in charge at this point are looking at like what are what are the ways that like we built our sexuality? What are the things that like we really wanted to see? Yeah. I mean, like when I was when I wrote on Babysitter’s Club, we were doing a scene where it’s like a young girl was gonna come out and my boss wanted to like maybe let’s write around it. I was like, no, I want to do it for the kids that like I didn’t get to see that. I didn’t get to see that as a kid. Kids do not watch this one, don’t watch the show. But it does feel a little bit like that.
Guy Branum The balance of wish fulfillment and acknowledging reality is always really hard. And there are ways that I felt strange about this being said in the past because, you know, we still don’t have out NHL players. You know, there’s a way that we can behave as though everything’s perfect and fine now and that’s dangerous in its way. But I thought that this thing really did a beautiful line of both giving you real wish fulfillment.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh yeah.
Guy Branum And acknowledging that these guys are in like, I feel like when you try to pretend that like everything’s fine for gay people now, you can be happy. That’s nice, but it’s like not acknowledging acknowledging the emotional reality for everyone that there is some game of managing the closet and managing outness that everyone has to go through as they figure out.
Louis Virtel It must be said also that Connor Story, who plays the Russian hockey player here at Ilya. He’s Texan. I yeah, he’s Texan. I haven’t heard a good fake Russian accent in a while. I’m enjoying his characterization in this. It’s just a believable character for me.
Guy Branum I am pushing aside all of the work that I am doing and only focusing on getting like concrete details on how tall he is.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Just look for something of him in a doorway. That’s what I always do.
Guy Branum I mean yes, it’s very important. But like his Wikipedia entry says like he trained as a gymnast and I am like, Are we under five nine? Oh no. I mean they’re you’re talking five four. Yeah. I mean, but also if so, then they are doing good Lord of the Rings l level force perspective to make him feel like the six three Ilya.
Louis Virtel You know what is the most successful version of that of all time is Julia Julia. Where Meryl Streep is eleven foot seven in the movie. And the all the men in it are like one nine.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey They made all the tables smaller because, you know, Nora has a plan. And it’s usually table based. Mostly table based. But yeah, no, Connor’s story, obviously we all did a little bit of research. I did gasp. Like I do like I really do need to explain. I love horny shit. I’ve been watching it since I figured out how to get onto Showtime anytime.
Guy Branum Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey The fact that watching the show did make me pause while putting on my Hanes this weekend speaks to like what we need in the space. Yeah, seriously.
Louis Virtel Yeah, seriously, how much gay heat have we really gotten in like I remember True Blood was all the rage for that moment, like can you believe you saw that ass, et cetera. But it was never sustained in a scene like
Rheeqrheeq Chainey We were all picking the butt out the salad. You know, we were all like trying to find the pieces of it that like could sustain us. So the fact that like these children don’t have to make a supercut, they have the whole clip. That’s a I think that’s growth. I have all
Guy Branum I have al I have always maintained that as a Gen X gay man I had to use every part of the pornographic buffalo. Okay. You know? Like a guy in a tight t shirt comes on the the price is right. I’m gonna have to get a VHS. Oh my god.
Louis Virtel Wow, really spoke hard to the Rattel experience here. Not too many hot men roaming around game shows. I have to say as a fan of the genre.
Guy Branum There was one super hot guy on university challenge. And I went so deep learning like I believe I had his home address by the time I was done.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I mean I was watching Young and the Restless and like just just the music cue as someone faded to b faded off from the candlelit yacht. I don’t know. That’s what we had back then.
Louis Virtel And by the way, when you’re a kid, you have an extreme imagination. Oh, I remember when the Green Ranger and the Pink Ranger seem to be headed somewhere in a multi part episode. And at the end of it, finally they’re having a chat that looks like Melrose Place or something. And I thought, and this is I’m like nine years old and this is before I go to soccer practice. I am sure they are gonna fuck in front of me.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey It’s like it’s gonna happen. Right slowly.
Louis Virtel And you know, they will sort of create a megazort of their own. Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh the bodyguard when
Louis Virtel His Scorpina will anyway, I can go deep on this.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh and Kevin Costler threw the scarf up and then Whitney’s sword cut it in half. Oh my god, body guard was good for me.
Louis Virtel And of course the best part of Truth or Dare is when Kevin Castner tells Madonna. She won’t be in the bodyguard. And that’s when she s calls him neat and is insulted by him. Anyway. I’m so glad we got into that. All right, all right, hockey, I support you. LaCrosse, are you next? Oh no. Oh.
Guy Branum Famously, Canada has two official sports official winter sport hockey, official summer sport lacrosse. I think that’s the logical next step because God knows they’re only gonna make two seasons of this show.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey So only hitting and catching, I’m good with that.
Guy Branum I’m good with that. All right. Jesus Christ. Who are you, Paul Lynn?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I don’t know, it’s it’s right there.
Louis Virtel Okay, we’ll be right back with our newish and extremely controversial new segment.
Louis Virtel [AD].
Louis Virtel So instead of keep it this week, we’re turning our rant topics over to our malevolent producers for a new segment we’re calling Door Number Who. And that’s a game show reference. Guy, Rheeqrheeq, each of us will be given a mystery pop culture topic to react to. Might be something we love, might be something we simply would rather not. We haven’t seen any of these in advance, so we’ll see what’s behind door number who. And I’m gonna start with the Louis shaped amulet. We’ll see what’s haunted inside. Kate Beckinsale tells Jimmy Kimmel that her daughter’s boyfriend laid two eggs. Here’s what Kate Beckinsale said to my boss, Jimmy Kimmel. He went to the bathroom and then was very surprised to find that he had laid an egg. After crushing it, he found it was a hard-boiled one too, and it kind of cooked inside him. She added, and he’s allergic to tree nuts. So we’ve had some emergencies, but this was more intense than a tree nut emergency. Daffy. She adds, I think it’s quite hard to put an egg up your bottom and then get it up without injuring the egg. She said, I think that’s a skill. She showed Jimmy a photo on air and he seemed to offer no additional argument after seeing the evidence. Okay, in the writer’s room on Kimmel, we rarely actually discuss like what a guest has said or whatever. Because guests say crazy things all the time, whatever. We still don’t understand what has happened. What Kate Beckinsale is talking about. She says that this is her first of all, it’s already Nicki Minaj’s friends’ cousin’s balls in terms of three degrees of what is going on here. But she’s saying this guy laid two eggs and that they are, I guess, looking like grocery store eggs.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Was this a story that th her segment producer knew was happening?
Louis Virtel I don’t believe so. Because I don’t believe he knew she was going to show him a photograph either, which by the way, I still have not seen.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey So she she just showed it on the phone. It wasn’t even oh, this is it’s so wacky.
Louis Virtel Yeah. She also is so wacky. And I wanna say about Kate Beckinsale, I don’t think I have ever underestimated a celebrity more. Cause when I was in high school, she was in things like serendipity in Pearl Harbor and she ’cause she’s got that kind of like very mainstream look.
Guy Branum And she was she started out on the dame path. She started out, you know, in much ado about nothing, but she’s gone full kook.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well, Underworld kind of like took it to this side.
Louis Virtel And Underworld was coming out around that time too. But then when I saw her in that movie Love and Friendship, the Wit Stillman movie from that is one of the most wickedly funny movie performances I’ve seen in the past 15 years. She is unbelievable. She’s so smart in it. And so it’s based off a Jane Austen short story called Lady Susan, which was written really early in her career. And she also worked with Wit Wit Stillman in the Last Nights of Disco. Yeah, a fabulous performance. Chloe Sevigny, also in that. And if you’ve ever seen her in Cold Comfort Farm in the 90s, she’s just extremely talented and I would I it’s not underutilized because she’s in so many movies, but she does she does things that people don’t know she can do.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey So that’s all to establish that she has enough common sense that the Lord gave her. Yes. And she thinks her boyfriend laid an egg.
Louis Virtel Yes, her daughter’s boyfriend.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Her daughter’s boyfriend. Oh, it was her daughter’s boyfriend. That’s fine. You don’t know what’s going on up up there. That’s not that’s that’s not a hole for her to manage.
Louis Virtel Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey But that is it is fast. I love the thought process that she must have had be like, Jimmy will love this story. I have to tell it.
Louis Virtel Well, by the way, the way she tells it too is like not straightforward and like sh she seems kind of distracted by her own story and tangents several times. So if she just said, Jimmy, I’m here and I’m going to tell you something crazy, that would have been one thing. But instead, she’s sort of doing that.
Guy Branum Yeah, she’s like factually menting lay eggs. Yeah. But like an authentic human moment happening on a talk show is such a rare thing now. That somebody like pushing past the segment producers to be like, I’m gonna say something crazy.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey But I but I need to know if she was holding it ready. Like that’s the thing because if the photo is up, cause you know she probably has a lot of pictures of like wigs and dogs or whatever. So if the photo was ready, that means she went out in there deciding that this was something she needed to share with everything. A covert operation. Exactly. Which that I is the thing I find most fascinating about it. That she was like, I must hold this gem of an egg to share with everyone before I crack open and seem like I’ve lost my mind.
Louis Virtel Yeah, if if anybody can offer perspective on what the fuck could have been happening in this family. I’m sorry.
Guy Branum I’ve gotten some text about this as well. A couple of years ago, I was at Sarah Silverman’s rooftop party and she was there. I was there. I met her there. She was dressed sh like she’s fifty years old and she’s dressed glammed out ridiculously, magnificently, being who she wants to be in a way that actresses aren’t allowed to, in a way that was really great. But I had just seen the weird movie where Gary Oldman pretends to be a little person. Oh yeah. And
Louis Virtel Matthew McConaughey.
Guy Branum With Matthew McConaughey, and I did not understand what had happened to that movie. And you know, going up to an actor and talking to them about one of their movies that wasn’t this can is not the nicest thing to do. But I had to fucking yell. And I sat her down and I was basically like, what’s going on there? And then in the most lucid, direct, and dishy way, she told me what had gone on with that film, which was Mr. McConaughey not playing ball. And it was so great and really filled me with a high degree of regard for her and just sort of like a she’s doing something, let her do it.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Someone asked Gary Oldman about that recently in the last like couple of years and he was like tuition. I had tuition. I think I had a divorce. I had and I love it.
Louis Virtel Well if Gary Ullman’s gonna have something, it’s gonna be a divorce.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey And that’s like I don’t think I loved that sort of earnestness of like, no, I know y’all have seen the one sheet. I don’t think it was a good idea also. But yeah, I do I do think we need to get some sort of proctologist to explain this whole egg situation.
Louis Virtel Yeah, I’m worried for the rest of us. Reary, it’s your turn.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Josh Brolin reveals past friendship with Donald Trump and says there is no greater genius in marketing than him. While promoting Dead Man A Knives Out Mystery, Brolin mentioned there’s a similarity between his character and Donald Trump. He went on to say that he was, quote, not scared of Trump, because even though he says he’s staying forever, it’s just not gonna happen. And if it does, then I’ll deal with that moment. But having been a friend of Trump before he was president, I know a different guy. I wonder what it is about the Daniel Craig gay in a wig movie that he needed to share that piece of information in 2025. What was the question? Yeah, that’s that’s always the thing I find really fascinating about some junkets. And I know we know they go on forever. And like it actually reminds me of when Liam Neeson revealed that he like hunted a man.
Louis Virtel Oh right, yes. Yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey What was the what the question wasn’t there, but like wanting to add, oh I too know a sociopath. Again, Josh Berlin, just go to Barbara’s Thanksgiving. I don’t
Louis Virtel Is he i yeah, there seems to be a cockiness here from having played W. Yeah. That he understands the psychology. I think it all goes back to Oliver Stone and whoever saw that movie, because it wasn’t me, two thousand eight. I was busy watching Milk.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I definitely saw it. I think it’s called
Louis Virtel Candy was doing something at all.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Is does she have like a brow like prosthetic in that movie?
Guy Branum She’s she she’s doing clowning. It was so
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I will say that like the thing I’ll take away from this, I l how many people have talked about the fact that Trump is a marketer. Yeah. Sure. Whatever he’s marketing hurts my eyes. But it’s the use of the word friend so many times. Yeah. And it’s like and maybe I’m a little more specific in who I still use that word about. But the idea of like, oh yeah, he and I were friends as everyone in the world is trying to find distance.
Louis Virtel And also by the way, hasn’t Trump repeatedly insulted Barbara Streisand? Yeah. So that’s weird.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Well, you know, some people don’t respect their stepmothers. And I think we should talk about that. But like it is, there is this, like, we’re in an interesting space too, because like so many of these like megalomaniacal characters that we’re seeing with guys being like, oh yeah, I’m I’m doing something large like Trump, or I’m doing something in a caricature like him. It’s like, okay. And I don’t know if you’re trying to add to the conversation. I don’t know if you thought that was just like a f look at me being smarter than you about this fact. But I just am gonna be there for whatever spooky Glenn Close, whatever Glenn Close and I guess Kerry Washington are gonna do together.
Louis Virtel Oh yeah.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I haven’t.
Louis Virtel I’m I’m excited.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I usually I meant to go last week but I had to shred too much cheese. But it is like it is funny like to add to this discourse of like, Oh, he’s not gonna stay. Thank you, Broolin, for letting me know that yeah the fascism isn’t gonna stay forever.
Guy Branum Well, I went through a very similar journey when Jamie Lee Curtis told me that I should vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger for governor. And I was just like, I love Jamie Lee Curtis. She would never steer me wrong, but it’s like she knows this person in a different way and isn’t concretely thinking about the fact that he’s gonna veto equal marriage rights in California, you know? I like, but the game Trump played of cultural ubiquity between nineteen seventy seven and like two thousand four is insane. That he was everywhere, that he knew everyone, that he did such a good job of making himself our cliche of a rich guy. It’s bonkers when you just go watch a home alone movie or the associate and you’re like, but he has to be there. Because
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Because he made it a clause in any sort of location rental fee for that was a Trump property that he had to ha have a scene. So that is how and yeah, that’s smart, but most people cut it out and some people left it in. And that’s why the day after the twenty sixteen election, I watched two weeks notice and his dumbass showed up. Right. And I wasn’t prepared for it.
Louis Virtel Grim Reaping. Wow. Guy, I believe it’s your turn and I hope you can handle it. Whatever it is.
Guy Branum Rush Hour 4 is in the works at Paramount Sky. Oh my god, more Trump. Trump’s personal request. Brett Ratner is attached to direct. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker are on board to star. According to Semaphore, Trump appears to want to revive the raucous comedies and action movies, the late 80s and early 90s or late 90s. He’s passionate, for instance, about the 1988 Jean Claude Van Damme sports flick blood sport, in addition to rush hour. Okay. I showed my 24 year old niece Beverly Hills cop over Thanksgiving, and it was just remembering how many cars we used to blow up during the course of a comedy. Very exciting.
Louis Virtel It’s pretty crazy though that we need like a fascist president to make comedies happen again.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yes, like the specific type that’s gonna be so boringly racist, I think, is gonna be like that’s the funny part. Also, it’s mixed in the fact that like the antitrust of it all of like all the acquisitions of all these studios, and at the same time, Brett Radner is producing Melania’s documentary. All of it is just like nightmare stuff.
Guy Branum Nightmare stuff. If we would like interesting comedy in America, what we’re going to need is just a little touch of antitrust law. Like it there just needs to be a little bit of if there were more than one and a half places where you could sell something. Like at this point in time, when there are only two or three companies that are making things, they all need to make unsinkable ships. So they’re all just going to make different versions of things that we have seen before and
Louis Virtel And have heard of. Yeah.
Guy Branum Yes. And so it it will be another rush hour where like, you know, good buddy cop movies don’t come from a remake. They come from, you know, an understanding that a 22-year-old guy from SNL and Judge Reinhold really can carry you know, a movie. I forgot that we actually got three rush hours.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Yeah, I stopped after two. I did really like Rush Hour Two. But I think I wanted to go back to how it used to be, where those people had the same agent. Yeah. And that and their agent made that package. And we are then enjoyed years and years. I don’t know. I I think it’s so funny though, the stuff that Trump likes. I think that’s also like the really interesting thing. Cause like like what was he watching on the gold toilet? He was watching Rush Hour Three and like yucking.
Guy Branum When is he actually watching stuff for energy? That isn’t about him. Yeah, right. I just want to say if we want quality action comedies back, the last thing we should be doing is blowing up the boats that are bringing good cocaine to this country. Yes. I mean, if there was anything that made both the music and the movies of the mid-1980s, it was high quality cocaine showing up directly from South America. Right. And propelling most of the
Louis Virtel sitcoms of that time too, I believe.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey I also this is making me realize that in the last four years we’ve had two bad boys. Like there is there we are in and which a lot of people have spoken about in this like IP era and also who and looping into what we were just talking about of like who is nostalgic for what when. There is like we gotta get back to nineteen ninety six, apparently, according to everyone. But those guys don’t have the knees for this. Like they’re we are not investing in the men w who are taking their magnesium supplements who can jump off the buildings. Like
Guy Branum The unsinkable shit problem, I think, is very real in both movies and television, in that they are putting all of their money onto these people who they think have already proven themselves. And those people already have four homes and they’re not gonna work real hard to write some good jokes. And that’s what’s frustrating to me is that the people with the drive and energy to do this are not getting the resources to do it. And also, remember Entourage was just a very specific moment. That we used to romanticize Brett Ratner throwing women off of you know, roofs into pools and stuff like that. And it was funny. And we thought
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Like she’s fine, okay?
Guy Branum No, no, she looking cushion. But like it I yeah, I just don’t know that we need a return to Brett Ratner at this moment in time. Right, right. It’s making me shriek.
Louis Virtel And not shrieky. Emmanuel Shrieky. That’s all we have for this episode. Oh my God. And that was Door Number Who. Let us know what you think in the comments. And if you have a pop culture topic you want to spring on me and my guest co-hosts in a future episode, let us know at Keep It Show on Instagram and TikTok and Keep It on YouTube. Thank you, Rheeqrheeq, for once again joining us.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Thanks for having me.
Louis Virtel Where can we find you on social media? Can we find you?
Rheeqrheeq Chainey You can find me I know, you can find me at Re Squared. It’s a lot it’ll be a lot of me watching Heated Rivalry.
Louis Virtel And Rhe is R H E E Q, yeah that’s
Rheeqrheeq Chainey E Q. Yeah, that’s silent cued. Don’t drag me for it in the comments like you did last time.
Guy Branum Oh, okay.
Louis Virtel Ha ha ha.
Guy Branum And Guy Branham, where can we find you? I’m at Guy Branham across all social media except for TikTok, where I am Guy Branham Comedy. But also Lewis Vertel. I am taking my solo show Be Fruitful on the Road. First stop on the road is Silver Lake. December 14th, I will be at Lyric Hyperion. But then December 17th, I’m gonna be in Philadelphia at Philly Mocha. December 18th, I’m going to be at Union Stage in DC. And then on the 19th, I’m gonna be at Union Hall in Brooklyn. A second show is just at it because we sold out the first show. Come on, Union? Brooklyn is excited for.
Louis Virtel Except here’s my question. Do you know who my favorite native Philadelphian is? Oh, Christine Baransky. The correct answer was Grace Kelly.
Rheeqrheeq Chainey Oh. We have the same birthday. Oh really? The guy’s answer was the correct answer.
Louis Virtel Yeah, I enjoy her too. You know whose hero is Christine Buranski? Cynthia Nixon. Look it up. That’s our show. We’ll be back next week with more Keep It. See you then. Don’t forget to follow Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You can also subscribe to Keep It on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content. And if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Keep It is a Crooked Media production. Our producer is Bill McGrath. Our associate producer is Kennedy Hill, and our executive producers are Louis Virtel, Ira Madison III, and Kendra James. Our digital team is Delon Villanueva, Claudia Sheng, and Rachel Gaewski. This episode was recorded and mixed by Jerik Centeno. Thank you to David Toles, Kyle Seglin, and Charlotte Landes for production support every week. Our head of production is Matt DeGroot. Our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.
