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In This Episode
Alcohol is one helluva drug! Josie, Alycia, and Yasmine sit down with writer, actor, and daddy Christian Weissmann to talk about alcohol. They discuss their relationships with booze, how people drink differently in different places, their thoughts on sobriety, and how some college nights took some crazy turns. Then, the girls offer their tips for how to deal with a blacked-out friend.
Show Notes
Christian Weissmann (IG, TikTok)
I’m A Man Who Was Sexually Assaulted At 8 Years Old. I Kept It Secret For Years — Until Now. (New piece by Christian in HuffPost)
TRANSCRIPT
Josie Totah: I did something a little like a little new. It was a little risky for me. I um. Last night, I got in my car and I went to the grocery store, and I hadn’t been to the grocery store alone since I’d been back in America, let me tell you. Going to the grocery store. Can we add that to the list of places that you need to be hot in?
Yasmine Hamady: Correct.
Josie Totah: Because I–
Yasmine Hamady: The airport and the grocery store.
Josie Totah: I accidentally got really hot for the grocery store and I was super confused. I like thought that I was like my brain thought that I was like going out to like a club or something. But then I just–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Josie Totah: –went to Trader Joe’s. It was so nice. I made the most wonderful salad. It was–
Yasmine Hamady: What was in it?
Josie Totah: There was cucumbers and there was bell pepper, and uh there was uh it was supposed to be a peanut sauce but since my friend Christian is staying with me, our friend Christian is staying with me. I did a little sunflower butter with rice vinegar to make it like a dressing.
Yasmine Hamady: [gasp] Wait. Can you send me this recipe?
Josie Totah: Yeah it was really good. And then. And then chili crunch oil onto it. So anyway, I was very proud of myself. Was I starving afterwards? Yes. Did I eat a whole bag of chocolate covered pretzels? Yes.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah you did.
Josie Totah: Was there peanut butter in the chocolate covered pretzels? Yes. Did that defeat the purpose of me not ordering peanut butter for the salad, probably yeah, but I did it anyway.
Yasmine Hamady: I’m just I just really I feel like this is such a growing moment for you. Like, you know, going to the grocery store on your own and cooking on your own. Because I just want everyone to know that last time I was with Josie and she cooked, she um she was making one pan fried egg and it splattered onto the stovetop.
Josie Totah: It did. It didn’t–
Yasmine Hamady: That’s that was the last time she cooked.
Josie Totah: It didn’t–
Yasmine Hamady: It was a month ago.
Josie Totah: It didn’t stay in the pan. And my dad looked at me with so much disappointment.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Josie Totah: He almost cried.
Yasmine Hamady: And this is why we need to take away women’s rights.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: She’s giving–
Yasmine Hamady: This is exactly why we need to take away women’s rights.
Josie Totah: Exactly. Alycia, how are you? You’re in Puerto Rico. You just posted a photo on Instagram where you look the best I’ve ever seen you look in your entire life.
Yasmine Hamady: Happy.
Josie Totah: What no she didn’t look that happy–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Wow thank–
Josie Totah: –but she looked really hot.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ah!
Josie Totah: No. You looked happy, but it wasn’t like you didn’t look that happy.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I think you guys may be referring to different moments, but thank you, Josie. You are forever too kind to me. I’m good. I am in Puerto Rico, Happy to be here working, but also trying to enjoy the island. It’s a good time. I did have like a small argument ordering my coffee this morning. So that was–
Yasmine Hamady: Oh, go on.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –interesting. I was wearing a shirt that–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –I so lovingly got from Crooked that says let women run shit. And um my barista thought that that was an invitation to uh have a debate with me and his exact words um with his wonderful Puerto Rican accent were, ugh this feminism shit [gasp] is going too far.
Yasmine Hamady: He said that?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes.
Josie Totah: Was this the same barista that asked you out on a date?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes, it was Juan Carlos. Not me [?].
Josie Totah: Juan Carlos you nasty bitch.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: How dare you.
Josie Totah: Now how are you trying to secure the bag with a girl and yet dog on girls Juan Carlos?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. And also, he asked me out again at the top of this week and he was [?]–
Josie Totah: At the top of the week.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I was like, mmm I’m not meeting up with this man.
Yasmine Hamady: I’m just um.
Josie Totah: Where was Alondro doing that?
Yasmine Hamady: No.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: She is serving our country right now in North Carolina. Remember, she enlisted in the Army. Like the week we got here.
Josie Totah: Oh, shit. Say a prayer to her.
Yasmine Hamady: Thanks for serving our country.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Things are spicy at the hotel.
Yasmine Hamady: Wait. Okay. White Lotus.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: It’s giving Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
Yasmine Hamady: It’s giving White Lotus.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Because I’m here for, like, over a month, like now there’s tea. Like, it feels like I’m in high school, but it’s just a hotel. I was dumbfounded because I just wanted my vanilla hazelnut um coffee.
Yasmine Hamady: As one does.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: But I was. I said, what do you mean by that? And he was like, I just think it’s going too far. I said, equality? Like you have an issue with women wanting equality because obviously he chose the wrong one. I thought it was so preposterous. He proceeded to then tell me we can be equal in finances, but we’re not equal in everything.
Josie Totah: Okay. Well, that I mean, he had that part true. [laugh] That is true.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: So now I have to see him every day while I live here. But anyways. Yas. How was your day? How was your morning? How are you?
Yasmine Hamady: Well, first and foremost, make sure he’s not spitting in your coffee. So I want him to make that coffee fucking in front of you next time. [laugh] Second off, um this weekend was crazy. I had my movie premiere. [clapping] It was so good. Josie and our um sneak peek of a guest. I’m not going to say his name yet was there and Alycia couldn’t be there. But we’ll have a premiere when you’re back. It’s called Pretty Boy. And my parents came. My grandmother, her name is Christine, but she looks like Donatella, Josie’s favorite came. Um. All my family came and it–].
Josie Totah: I love Donatella.
Yasmine Hamady: And I was so, like, overwhelmed because, like, the whole Lebanese crew just came up like–.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: That’s so beautiful.
Yasmine Hamady: It was like 30 people. And they’re like,Yas, all in gowns. And I’m like, of course, they’re going to make this premiere about them in the best way.
Josie Totah: It was wonderful. I was so happy to–
Yasmine Hamady: And it was good.
Josie Totah: –see you shine.
Yasmine Hamady: I was so happy.
Josie Totah: And your beautiful family that I hadn’t seen so long. Shout out Amal and Danny.
Yasmine Hamady: Danny.
Josie Totah: Amal, Danny, and Haloh.
Yasmine Hamady: Amal, Danny and Hal. Everyone. I’m honestly really proud of my work. So cast me.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Period.
Josie Totah: Um.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: As people should.
Josie Totah: Speaking of casting, today I woke up this morning and I decided to cast a new character on this show that is our podcast. I got out of bed and I just thought, why not bring him in? He’s staying in the bottom floor of my estate and uh thought I’d send him an invite. So please welcome to the show. Our best friend, our family, an author, an actor, an activist, um uh a man, and uh but one we like. And that person is Christian Weissmann. [cheers]
Christian Weissmann: Thank you so much for having me, guys. I am so honored to be here.
Josie Totah: Oh my god your voice sounds so sexy.
Yasmine Hamady: Christian.
Josie Totah: Your voice sounds like a sex like a sex line.
Yasmine Hamady: Sex phone no Christian, I just got goosebumps on my legs when you said, Hi, guys.
Christian Weissmann: I’m honored. I mean, I’m sure the more gay stuff I talk about, my voice will just get, like, faster and higher as we continue so.
Yasmine Hamady: Please.
Christian Weissmann: It’ll happen.
Josie Totah: I love that. We do love that. Now, for those that don’t know which is every single person listening uh that Christian and I met in high school.
Christian Weissmann: High school.
Josie Totah: When I was younger and I wasn’t I was not really a nice kid, was I? To you?
Christian Weissmann: Um no comment.
Josie Totah: Okay yeah anyway.
Yasmine Hamady: No spill the tea.
Josie Totah: But no, we started we had a turb, we had a turbulent start.
Christian Weissmann: We had a turbulent beginning for sure.
Josie Totah: And then but then we became best friends.
Christian Weissmann: We did.
Josie Totah: Which is how I think a lot of best friends start.
Christian Weissmann: I feel like that that’s very true.
Josie Totah: Christian, you’re was on Saved by the Bell.
Christian Weissmann: I was. I was very honored to be on Saved By The Bell with you guys. That was–
Josie Totah: We spent a lot of time with you on that and just in life. I think we just love sharing life with you. And I think that you’re just the perfect person to have around at all times. So we’re happy to have you.
Christian Weissmann: Thank you, guys. I love you all.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um I agree.
Yasmine Hamady: I also want to, like, quickly harp on the fact that he is like an amazing writer. Like he has so many essays he just–
Josie Totah: Yes.
Yasmine Hamady: –came out and published one with The Huffington Post. He also has a poetry book called Her Him and I.
Christian Weissmann: Ah!
Yasmine Hamady: And I, Rupi Kaur could never, is what I will say to that. I am so excited to read it.
Christian Weissmann: Thank you. I’m I’m so psyched about it. I think sharing the complexities of love and heartbreak from a bisexual man is really untapped in our industry, and it’s a story that needs to be told so that there can be more transparency with like the spectrum of sexuality for men especially. So I’m very–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: –excited to share that.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yay.
Josie Totah: I love that.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I love–
Josie Totah: I love that.
Yasmine Hamady: That was hot. That was like–
Christian Weissmann: Oh thank you.
Yasmine Hamady: –objectively hot.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I literally don’t think that you could be like any more perfect. I feel like I tell you this every time I see you. You are just such a beautiful human inside and out. And it just feels right that you’re here with us right now. Like, it just feels like, Oh, this is a coffee date that we transferred into the pod. Like, it feels like you should be with us. I don’t know.
Christian Weissmann: I agree with you guys. And when Josie called me an hour ago and said, hey, put your clothes on we’re we’re going on the pod, I said, All right. Let me get my shirt on.
Josie Totah: And indeed we’re here.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah, um that’s funny. It’s interesting that you brought Christian onto the pod today because I feel like so often, yes, we spend days together, but also we go out together, all four of us. We go out partying, we go to different bars, clubs, Josie’s home um where something very prevalent is in the air, and that is alcohol. And I’ve been really wanting to talk about this for a while now, and it’s been on my mind. And I think it’s a perfect topic for us because we have all vastly different experiences and relationships with alcohol, whether it’s in college, whether it’s now. And I think it’s important to talk about this right now because I feel like our age range specifically right now, like with frat culture, with going out culture, specifically living in L.A. and in this industry, people bond through getting drunk, people bond, or at least like I’ve noticed, they take a sip instead of saying, let’s go for a coffee, they say, let’s go for a drink, which is absolutely fine.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely.
Yasmine Hamady: But I think it’s an interesting one that I really want to dissect a little bit. So what is each of your relationship with alcohol?
Josie Totah: Mmm. We should start by talking about how it started. The relationship and our earliest memory of it, because I think when I think about alcohol as a kid, I think about my mom having a glass of wine and then turning into literally a tomato because her entire body has like gotten swollen red. And so for me, alcohol has always been this thing in my family that’s like, yeah, like it’s at the house and our friends come over and they have it. And my parents always had wine in their, you know, cabinet or whatever, but it wasn’t something that they were like consistently doing. Like I, I could probably count on less than one hand the amount of times I’ve seen my mom even tipsy, let alone my dad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad drunk. I don’t know. People claim that he was drunk in San Francisco at his birthday one year a few years ago, but even at his 60th, which Christian was at and like he seemed pretty normal for and I kept feeding him drinks.
Christian Weissmann: Yeah he was on top of it.
Josie Totah: Yeah, he was killing it. But so I think for me that was always my experience with it. And I remember like always asking my mom like, oh, can I have a sip of wine, like as a kid. And she would always let me and my siblings do that. And I think that allowed me to not be so restrictive of the idea of it.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Josie Totah: But to more so be aware of the responsibility that comes with consuming a substance that is alcohol, because it is a substance. And I even remember we had a mutual friend I remember going to her birthday when I was like 13 or 14 years old and being invited to her birthday party. And all of our friends were going to be there. And I our friend, our a mutual friend, your best friend in the whole worl, Brielle um was also present and I knew like alcohol was going to be there. And I, like told my mom about it and she was just like, yeah, I mean, like, you’re 14, you know, that’s obviously illegal. You can, you can have a sip of it. But like, if that gets out there, like your career’s going to end and then there’ll be no reason for you to be here. So you can go ahead and do that shit, but you’ll ruin your life. And I’ll just sit here and watch it happen. And I was like–
Christian Weissmann: Wow.
Josie Totah: I was like, holy fucking shit, I’m never having alcohol again. I did not have a sip of alcohol at that entire thing.
Christian Weissmann: Was that the party bus night?
Josie Totah: Yes. Were you there?
Christian Weissmann: We were literally 13 and we left–
Josie Totah: Were you there?
Christian Weissmann: Yes.
Josie Totah: What the fuck? Why didn’t you say that?
Christian Weissmann: Well, I was there. I was just listening.
Josie Totah: Oh. Oh. Sorry.
Christian Weissmann: I was being present.
Josie Totah: Oh my god, you’re such a good present listener.
Christian Weissmann: This was the night that we left our–
Josie Totah: Left Jessica.
Christian Weissmann: –friend at–
Josie Totah: We left Jessica [?]–
Christian Weissmann: The Santa Monica Pier.
Josie Totah: –at the Santa Monica Pier.
Christian Weissmann: Um.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh my god.
Yasmine Hamady: Y’all are fucked for that.
Josie Totah: And didn’t realize, did not realize–
Christian Weissmann: Yeah.
Josie Totah: –until we were 40 minutes away.
Christian Weissmann: I was I was gone at this point because I was living with my aunt and uncle. And I think I got out at millions of milkshakes on Santa Monica Boulevard.
Josie Totah: I’m dead at that.
Christian Weissmann: And got in an Uber. And then you guys decided to go to Santa Monica Pier. And then you–
Josie Totah: Yes.
Christian Weissmann: –did leave our friend there. So.
Josie Totah: Yes. That did happen. But–
Christian Weissmann: Poor girl. Hope she’s doing okay.
Josie Totah: But I think I remember having that conversation with my mom and that was like the impetus behind every single interaction that I had with alcohol and going to events as a kid. And I remember like when my friend Skye and I went to like this big party and it was like this girl’s sixteenth birthday party and there was so much alcohol. And even her parents were there. And it’s like at every instance I had to like remember that conversation with my mom. And I think that propelled me into just not being like the biggest drinker, even as someone who is currently 21. So sorry. That was a long winded way of answering your–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: No thank you.
Josie Totah: –question, but I think that was like–
Yasmine Hamady: No that was–.
Josie Totah: –the beginning of it. What about you guys?
Christian Weissmann: Um. I would say, you know, alcohol was always present in like my extended family, I had a big family growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, and I was always really scared of it. Regardless if I saw it being used in a negative way, I was pretty terrified of it. But when I ended up moving out to L.A., it was very accessible from a young age because I feel like you are an actor and you meet other fellow actors and then you guys go out and you meet a promoter and it’s like you become an adult at the age of 13 and 14.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: So easily. And it feels liberating, but it’s also not right at the same time.
Josie Totah: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: Because everything becomes accessible at the at the tip of your fingertips. And I think I saw how it affected people that I didn’t even know. Like as soon as you start to go out as a young kid, you can see that and it scares you because you’re like.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: Okay, I don’t want to be that type of person that lets substance control my life. And I feel like you can kind of go one way or the other. I kind of ran away from it because I saw how it was affecting people. But as I got older, I think. When I became more aware of the anxiety I was carrying in my life, I think I was like, oh, you know, when I go out, I can have a drink and it’ll loosen me up and I’ll be better at conversation and talking to people and flirting and having a good time with my friends. But at the end of the day, I think it just made me more anxious, even though I would have a couple of drinks and be like, oh, I’m loose, let’s go have a good time and let’s talk about fun things. I still felt anxious, if not more than before I took the drink. So that kind of made me realize very quickly, like this isn’t necessarily helpful for me to feel better.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. I grew up with an interesting duality in the way that I perceived alcohol, because I come from a Dominican culture where alcohol is pretty prevalent, um which I thought was cool because I’m like, Oh, like it’s liberating. Like we enjoy a drink, we enjoy being by the beach. Like it’s um it’s very normal for like people to drink large amounts, um especially like a Presidente or like a rum um. I think it’s just a part of Caribbean culture. But in addition to that, I also grew up very religious. So um even though my parents didn’t have this opinion, I grew up around a lot of people that abstained from drinking alcohol, um and that was like a choice that I respected. But also my mom was a bartender when she was my age and–
Yasmine Hamady: Oh damn.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I knew that, yeah. Like, I think she was like–
Yasmine Hamady: I cannot imagine your mother a bartender.
Josie Totah: Your mother has been everywhere here and there.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: She’s been everything.
Josie Totah: I–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Girl everything everywhere all at once.
Josie Totah: Every time–
Christian Weissmann: All at once.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: She’s been a private investigator–
Josie Totah: –we have a new conversation, she says she’s done a thing. Private investigator–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: She’s done–
Josie Totah: She was a telemarketer. No, she she’s–
Yasmine Hamady: Tele– She’s now a real estate agent.
Josie Totah: She sold advertisements for television.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. She worked at Telemundo, which she did. I would literally sleep under her desk at this Telemundo NBC um like uh office building. So, yes, my mom’s done a little bit of everything. She’s a superhero. But anywho, she was very like comfortable and drank socially. Like she doesn’t–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –enjoy alcohol, um but she didn’t demonize alcohol the way a lot of people I grew up with did. And in addition to that, I did have a family member that um really struggled with alcoholism, and they were someone that helped raise me and they were very close to me. And I saw them in and out of rehab my entire life. I saw them almost lose their life because of alcohol. So I think all of those–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –um components really, really forced me to have um pretty strong opinions about alcohol. And if you know me personally, I don’t drink. I drink a couple of times a year. I would say a hand, a handful of times a year right?
Yasmine Hamady: I feel like a solid five is when and also you’ll prepare for it.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. Yeah. [laugh].
Yasmine Hamady: Like you will–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Because I am 90 years old.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah, I, I will like, mentally prepare for it. I like to go into the night knowing that I’m going to drink. And it’s always a special occasion um because it’s celebratory. Like I don’t enjoy socially drinking and I have to say that that is not because I think alcohol is innately bad. Um. I’m not one of those people. Um. I think I just enjoy being sober. I also just honestly, on a childish level, don’t like the taste of alcohol and don’t think it’s worth the money. And I could be a frugal girl, girl. Um. But yeah, so in my adulthood uh I, I don’t really drink. I’m not a social drinker. While people are having wine–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –I prefer like a Coca-Cola. Um and–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I don’t I don’t um have problems with that. Like at at parties or celebratory, like events for work. Like it’s, it’s never been a bother to me to like kind of be one of the only sober people. But I will say for the first time in my life. Um. Maybe it’s because we’re like in a vacation spot that people are drinking all the time, that it does feel a little bit weird that I’m saying no every night. Does that make sense?
Yasmine Hamady: Yes, it does, because I also feel like that touches on the fact that the U.S. has such an interesting relationship with alcohol. People here drink to get drunk rather than like in the U.K. and Puerto Rico. And like at least in Lebanon, in different countries, they drink casually.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Yasmine Hamady: They’re not drinking in order to get blacked out. They’re drinking because it’s like, oh, we’re all sharing a moment together, so let’s have a little something.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Yasmine Hamady: You know?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I think, like. I want to give my space myself space to evolve and maybe my opinion on alcohol to change, but like I don’t um enjoy for myself drinking socially and encourage–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –other people to do so if they feel naturally inclined to. But it is interesting being like, in a place like this where–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –drinking is kind of a part of, like, every meal. Like lunch–
Josie Totah: It is.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –dinner, [?].
Josie Totah: That’s how I felt when I was in Puerto Rico. I was like, this is so weird for me to because I don’t really drink, especially at dinner. Like, that’s not really a thing that I do, but in Puerto Rico. I was like, damn, here I am at dinner. We went to that one place and I just ordered a drink. I was like, that was so expensive. A.) I also don’t like spending money. And B.), I’m like, I’m not going to finish this because as you guys know, it could be a coffee, it could be a a a–
Yasmine Hamady: Bitch–
Josie Totah: –drink.
Yasmine Hamady: –you won’t finish–
Josie Totah: It could be a glass of wine.
Yasmine Hamady: Anything.
Josie Totah: It could be a glass of milk. I am not finishing it. I don’t know why. I don’t know how to do it.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Josie leaves a trail of drinks throughout the day–
Josie Totah: We have a friend–
Yasmine Hamady: No I don’t even–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –that she’s not finished.
Josie Totah: We have a friend, Angelica, who purposely does not order herself coffee when we when we go to coffee together because she just finishes every drink that I don’t drink. And also Alycia.
Yasmine Hamady: Um. Well, also, whenever Josie would like–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: It’s a–
Yasmine Hamady: Leave her coffee–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –it’s a symbiotic relationship.
Yasmine Hamady: –blue bottle downstairs, everyone would be like, can we throw that away? Don’t throw it out because at 8 p.m.. She’s going to have three last sips of it.
Josie Totah: Yes.
Yasmine Hamady: It will just be there.
Josie Totah: And I– [laugh]
Yasmine Hamady: Don’t don’t touch it.
Josie Totah: And I’d get really mad if it if it got [?].
Alycia Pascual-Peña: You know–
Yasmine Hamady: You’d be like why did you throw it away? And it’s like because you left it out for 90 days, like–
Josie Totah: Literally. And then I’d get really mad.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: That’s that’s–
Josie Totah: But even at dinner and even at the beach at La Playa, I was literally [laughter] laying at the beach and this random man was like, do you want this drink? And I obviously–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Okay.
Josie Totah: –said no.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Let’s explain that different before people are concerned.
Josie Totah: Okay, Yeah, sorry. He was selling drinks on the beach. It was he was a licensed drink seller. I didn’t just take–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes.
Josie Totah: –liquid out of a random man’s hands.
Yasmine Hamady: Well, that’s funny you say that, because I want to touch on my relationship with alcohol.
Josie Totah: Yeah. What is your, how long have you been with her?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah I was gonna say.
Josie Totah: How long have you guys been together?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yazzie?
Yasmine Hamady: Me and alcohol. Oh, you guys, I have a story first is what I’ll start with.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh, okay. Period. We love a story.
Yasmine Hamady: The year was 2016 and it was my first year at Uni, College at Chapman University. I got so blacked out, I took 12 shots of Fireball and I was at the Pike House. And this is a fraternity, Pi Kappa Alpha. And I just I just remember, like I kept drinking and drinking, and then all of a sudden everything goes black and then I black back in [?]–
Josie Totah: Black back in.
Yasmine Hamady: Black back in because you blackout, I blacked in, I blacked back in. And I’m on the side of the street having someone’s fingers down my throat, throwing up outside. And then I black out again. I blacked back in. And it’s me saying, call my parents, black back out again. I blacked back in, I’m on the toilet and I’m throwing up, calling my parents. And they’re like, we’re bringing you home. You have a problem. Because my parents never let us drink.
Josie Totah: Was this freshman year?
Yasmine Hamady: This was freshman year.
Christian Weissmann: Wow.
Josie Totah: I’m dead.
Yasmine Hamady: And my parents never let me drink like I used to steal gray goose out of their little um liquor cabinet and I would put it in–
Josie Totah: That’s so Middle Eastern.
Josie Totah: It’s so middle eas– and I would put water back in there and they just would never know until they put it in the freezer.
Christian Weissmann: I’ve done that.
Yasmine Hamady: But and I was like, you know what? Like, it’s going to be fine. Like, everyone would come to my house to, like, drink a little bit, like in high school. And then after that, um another time happened where I blacked out and I got so blacked out where I, like started having a panic attack. And I remember everyone was just trying to calm me down and I was like, I called the police on myself. I called the EMTs. Could you imagine? And I took my hand and I said, take me away. I need to be taken out. Can you imagine? I said, put me in cuffs. I don’t care. I need to be taken to the hospital [?]–
Yasmine Hamady: Wait when was that?
Yasmine Hamady: Freshman year too. Because I was sheltered for so long without alcohol. And then you see the opposite effect of what you think that you’re protecting your children, rather you’re actually causing more damage than you are good. And I was like, nope, I’m dying. I actually said to them, I was like, I’m dying tonight. I will die. Like I’m going to have alcohol poisoning. And they’re like, girl, go to bed. Like, that’s all they said was girl go to bed and then get this. I fall asleep. I somehow make my way. Oh, this is so bad. I make my way to the bathroom. And then I was apparently on the phone for 3 hours and I wake up in bed and I was like, why am I getting a text from my ex-boyfriend from high school?
Christian Weissmann: Oh.
Yasmine Hamady: I got back together with him and I didn’t even remember after–
Christian Weissmann: What?
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah, I got back together with him and I was like, we haven’t talked in so, like, I was like, [makes puking sound], like I feel nauseous.
Josie Totah: Eew.
Yasmine Hamady: I was like, the fact I didn’t even remember anything. And I think coming back to, like, now I have such an interesting relationship with alcohol and I’m not saying it was ever a problem because I think at college with frat life and frat culture, you are there’s the pre-game you get wrec– before the pre-game, you are getting ready with a seltzer or something, mixed drink while putting on your makeup. Afterwards you get to the pregame, you’re continuously drinking. Then you get to the party and then you get to the after party. So you just have so many hours of drinking and you’re conditioned this way where by the end of the night you are hammered and you make really bad decisions and you really make and then the next day you’re in your deathbed.
Josie Totah: I distinctly remember being out with Yasmine at our college bar [laugh] and her being so drunk and then saying like, I need a hot dog because they sold the hot dogs outside of the bar.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Josie Totah: And we went outside and she, she inhaled this hot dog like it was like a reverse [?] but instead it was going inside. And in a split second, the whole eight inch dog just went down her throat.
Christian Weissmann: Eight inches?
Josie Totah: It wasn’t but 30 seconds later that you were projectile vomiting in the parking lot of the bar. And I–
Yasmine Hamady: [squealing] I remember.
Josie Totah: And I was holding your hair back. And all of our friends are walking by and they’re just like Hi, Yasmine. Like you were like it was like your fans.
Yasmine Hamady: And I was like–
Josie Totah: And you were just like–
Yasmine Hamady: And I was like–
Josie Totah: –[?] deep in the parking wait do you actually remember that?
Yasmine Hamady: Yes, I do. But like, that just goes to show that, like, this has like it caused. I, I, I hate it. I hate and love it. And it’s such like a push and pull relationship with alcohol because like, even though the feeling would be horrific, I was looking forward to the day after with my friends like on the on the couch just debriefing the whole night. Like it was like we’re meeting at Lily’s house or meeting at, like, the girl’s house and we’re talking all this shit that happened the night before. [music break].
[AD BREAK]
Yasmine Hamady: Now that poses my question is that are we as a society and like as Gen Z, are we depending too much on alcohol to have a good time and to create relationships?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I feel like that is a subjective question, but I would absolutely say yes.
Yasmine Hamady: Mmm. Go on.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely. I think once again, please turn up and have a good time.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I love it. I love to see it. Um. But I think it’s really interesting with alcohol because obviously it’s everywhere. I think it is the substance that we consume the most in regards to like recreational drugs, right? That we do forget that it is a drug and that everybody has different tolerances and that consuming great amounts on a regular like a regular schedule isn’t good for you. And I do think that people use alcohol as a crutch in a way that we don’t use other substances. Um. It’s weird. Like I, I have had people be like, oh, you’re not drinking. Like, oh, like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, ugh like and I’m like, that’s, that’s odd. Um. And it’s I don’t I don’t know. I like, how do you guys feel about it? I feel specifically because we live in L.A. everything is like, let’s go get a drink. Um. I’m definitely more of a like, let’s go get a coffee type person. But even when somebody gets a says, let’s get a drink. I’m not going to be freaking cringey like it’s not my personality that I don’t drink. Like, I will go to said drink and be like, hey, like, I’m actually going to drink something else. Like, it doesn’t need to be a large conversation.
Josie Totah: You do love a soda.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I do. I do. I do. And I wish I didn’t. I do love a soda. Like I will say, you know, yes to a drink and have a soda um because we’re all grown and you should do whatever pleases you and makes you happy. Like but I do think some people kind of make it their personality or look forward to the weekend just to drink. And I’m like, that’s odd. Like, all right, if you’re just feeling liberated, enjoying yourself, drink as much as you like, but when it’s like infringing on your peace or your finances or now you’re codependent and you won’t go out without a drink, which I have seen, then it’s a conversation. But then people will shoot down that conversation because they’re like, it’s just a drink when it’s like it’s still a substance. You’re still like probably not your best self at this work event because you’ve consumed a little bit too much alcohol, which is okay, but let’s talk about it. But I think because, you know, alcohol is something that, like a lot of people have been drinking since they were 16, they wave off the problem, whereas like other substances, people would be like, oh, you know, maybe this is something that I need to be more concerned about when I’m like, alcohol can be just as bad. You feel me?
Christian Weissmann: I was thinking about something that happened to me a couple months ago where I was going on a date with somebody. And when I got to the bar because of course, it’s a bar that you go to and you’re like, let’s grab a drink. And they were like–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: Oh yeah, sure, that sounds great.
Yasmine Hamady: Yup.
Christian Weissmann: I get there. I order my drink and I’m like, oh, what do you want? And they’re like, oh, I actually don’t drink, so I’m just going to do like a ginger beer. And I was like, oh, okay, great. And in my head I was like, Oh my gosh, am I going to be the only person drinking? I’m nervous because I kind of wanted a drink to loosen up. This is a person I haven’t spoken to before.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: I’m nervous, I’m anxious. And they were just so calm, so cool and collected. And they’re like, no, it’s okay. Like, you go for it, have a drink. And while I was seeing this person, we kind of let our relationship blossom outside of alcohol. And it was something that I had never experienced before. And it was terrifying because I get a lot of anxiety when it comes to dating. Dating in L.A. is so debilitating, it’s petrifying. And sometimes relying on alcohol or some sort of substance to be like, oh, let me have a drink and let me talk to them and loosen up it it feels easier, but it’s completely unnecessary. And when I met him, I was like, okay, this is actually better. And though it didn’t last, I, I really enjoyed being able to go out with somebody and not have it centered around, let’s go get a drink. We were like, let’s go to the flea market. Let’s go to an estate sale across town. And it was really special how it wasn’t centered around any sort of substance. It was like, let’s just get to know each other during the daytime and from situations outside of a bar.
Josie Totah: I love that.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. That’s dope.
Josie Totah: I think that’s cool.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I also think not all the cases, but I do think certain cases I’ve met people in a way that just wasn’t um wasn’t the best depiction of who they are, which I’m like, it’s it’s life it’s not that deep. Like we all have moments like–
Yasmine Hamady: No.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like even me not drinking. Like people will probably see me, not in my best moments. But I do think that, like, um people don’t always take into consideration that maybe they put their worst foot forward because of how much they were relying on alcohol. And Christian, something that you said also reminds me of this other narrative that I think that we don’t think about because we are young, but we forget that people have lived like fully flushed out lives.
Christian Weissmann: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And we don’t know all the details of, but something that you said was and I’m not speaking for the person that you were with, but I’ve met other people that are like, oh, I’m not drinking. And in the past sometimes I assumed like, oh, maybe you’re like me like you don’t like the taste of alco– and they’re like, no, I’m sober. And I’m like, oh, because that is also a very different scenario that I think that we should have more compassion–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –for in social settings that I think we aggressively lack. I think that we forget that there are people doing something really difficult and admirable and brave.
Christian Weissmann: Completely.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: By being in social settings and where people are drinking, even though that they may have struggled with the mental illness that is alcoholism.
Yasmine Hamady: Well–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. And–
Yasmine Hamady: –it’s funny you say that, though, because I have to say, like there was a study with the BBC and it showed that Gen Zers are growing up sober curious. So we’re one of the only generations that are heightened with wanting to be is it either California sober, which is like just smoking weed, drinking here and there. And sober curious and I, I feel like that is a, um, I don’t want to say it’s a trend to be sober, but like, I think it’s now becoming something that people are interested in because you’re seeing the repercussions of like getting fucked up all the time and you see the dark things because a lot of bad aspects of people’s lives come out when you’re drunk.
Josie Totah: Hmm.
Yasmine Hamady: Like, I, I mean, we’ve all had that blacked out friend, have we not?
Josie Totah: We have. We have. We have.
Yasmine Hamady: And some of us were that blacked out friend.
Josie Totah: You were. You were. You were. I’m just kidding.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And we love you.
Josie Totah: I’m just kidding.
Yasmine Hamady: And it’s just not a cute look. It’s not cute. And it feels [?]–
Josie Totah: But it comes. It comes from somewhere, right?
Yasmine Hamady: Sure.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely.
Josie Totah: Like it does come from somewhere. And I feel like I when I in high school, like you guys know that, like the summer after high school, it was my house that we we threw everything and I was so afraid to drink because I didn’t want anyone to ruin anything in in my parents house. So I would just walk around with literally a fake prop movie cigarette and a glass of wine–
Yasmine Hamady: I’m pissed at you. I’m sick of you.
Josie Totah: –that I didn’t drink from. Like Great Gatsby, while everyone was partying, getting drunk at my house. But I didn’t want to drink when I was younger because I always felt so outside of my body and I felt like drinking would take me so much further.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Josie Totah: And I didn’t want to add anything into the equation that would take me any far away, any more far away than I already was. And I think that just goes to show that like it actually comes from a place. And I remember I mean, I had a best friend in college who now doesn’t drink to the same extent that she used to or honestly, like really nearly at all. And she would often cry and break down. And when alcohol would come into the picture, that’s when she would finally let all of these things that were building up–
Yasmine Hamady: Yep.
Josie Totah: –come out. And I think the more that we have representation around the idea of sobriety, the more that we can sort of destigmatize it and it becomes less of this like evil, scary thing and more of something that is a part of your lifestyle, like literally being vegan or being vegetarian or whatever. But I will–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Josie Totah: –say it’s interesting you bring up the article of the BBC because Yas you know, and Christian knows because every weekend, you see I don’t really drink that much.
Christian Weissmann: No you don’t.
Yasmine Hamady: No you don’t.
Josie Totah: Like. And at college I didn’t. But for some reason when I moved to the UK to film, it was like it took weeks for me to realize like, oh my God, we’ve had a drink like every other night to some extent.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Josie Totah: Like when we check into a hotel they’d give you a shot of whiskey [laugh] or like all of our transportation drivers always had whiskey in the trunk. I don’t know if that’s going to get them in trouble, but like they always had whiskey in the trunk. And like on the way back home, it was like a two hour car ride every single day back home, you had a glass of whiskey like I think–
Christian Weissmann: In the transpo van?
Josie Totah: In the transpo van.
Christian Weissmann: Wow.
Josie Totah: I was talking about it with Alisha when she was on the pod last week like some of our deepest conversations were shared over a a Dixie cup of whiskey in the back of a van. Um. But like, it became such a thing there. But reading the studies, it’s crazy to see that even though that I drink more there, that we as America still have a problem much greater than that of UK in there being, I think it’s like 38% of Americans drink like once a week here, whereas in the United Kingdom. I think it’s like once a month for them, which is like insane because I thought that the British people are like all alcoholics. Is that racist?
Yasmine Hamady: That’s funny. That’s funny. No I don’t think so–
Josie Totah: You know what I mean, though? Like–
Yasmine Hamady: Yes I do.
Josie Totah: –what is your experience with UK and alcohol? Because I know you also studied there and then lived there subsequently.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah when I was, when I was studying there and also like living there, like I like would go for a drink every day, like after work, like, or like I would have a glass of wine with dinner like I would and it would be so casual, nothing like I remember when I was studying abroad, I would have like a bottle of wine twice a week, like, just like watching a movie, like, and it would be nothing. And that’s still a lot. But like, now and maybe this was just like growing up too. But like, if I’m going to drink, I prepare. If I’m going to drink, I have Advil by my nightstand all ready to go.
Josie Totah: Your pills. You have pills, too.
Yasmine Hamady: I have pills. I have my Zofran, which is a medical grade anti-nausea pill that I have under my tongue. I have my Pedialyte ready to go I have–
Christian Weissmann: Liquid IV.
Josie Totah: Your [?] —
Yasmine Hamady: I take an allergy pill for–
Josie Totah: Okay.
Yasmine Hamady: –flush because I get flushed. And I didn’t get that until the pandemic. But I just remember, like, what’s really helped me not drink is the feeling the next day because like, to be honest, I love feeling tipsy. I love feeling drunk like I love because I’m already a very loosey goosey girlie. But like when I’m drunk, this bitch is out to play. But the days after.
Josie Totah: Hangxiety [said sung] hangxiety.
Yasmine Hamady: The Hangxiety. [music break] How many times Alycia and Josie have had to sit with me in the shower as I’m crouched down like I it’s like a baby version of Voldemort and where he’s like, [makes a scary sound], that was me in the shower drinking the faucet like this naked. And Josie and Alycia are just on their phone, like [taps something]–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Just there to support.
Yasmine Hamady: Just like waiting.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: We love you.
Yasmine Hamady: Just waiting, just so I don’t die. And how and it’s just so awful that that has made me realize, like, I don’t like this feeling and I don’t like shots and I don’t like getting nauseous and I don’t like feeling this way and I don’t like the mental instability the next day. I cry. I think all my friends hate me the next day. I think I’m going to die alone. My family’s going to disown me. I’m never going to make it into this industry and that I’m not worth anything. And then for–.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Which is not true.
Yasmine Hamady: Which is not true.
Christian Weissmann: Not true at all.
Yasmine Hamady: But 48 hours later–
Josie Totah: But that’s what–
Yasmine Hamady: –no of course.
Josie Totah: –hangxiety does to you.
Yasmine Hamady: Exactly.
Christian Weissmann: It’s debilitating.
Josie Totah: I mean the first time I had anxiety in Scotland, I bought a piano. And then the second time–
Yasmine Hamady: Dead at that.
Josie Totah: –I bought another piano. I’m not kidding, I bought two pianos.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: [laugh] Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: Isn’t one of them in my room now?
Josie Totah: And one of them is in your room, but it can really get you good. And also, it’s about the–
Yasmine Hamady: Gets ya good.
Josie Totah: It can.
Christian Weissmann: Gets you good.
Josie Totah: Do you have anxiety? I feel like you don’t really have that bad anxiety. At least not anymore.
Christian Weissmann: I feel like I have anxiety in all aspects of life.
Josie Totah: Right.
Christian Weissmann: Um. But alcohol is one that I think when I was younger and I was still pretty inexperienced with it, I didn’t know my my boundaries with it. But as I am now a ripe, 23 years old, I feel like I–
Yasmine Hamady: Such a hot age.
Christian Weissmann: I have a thank you. I feel like I have a healthy relationship with it, where I know when to stop if–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: –we’re going out.
Yasmine Hamady: That’s rare. That’s rare.
Christian Weissmann: Yeah, it’s rare and it’s also like it’s peaks and valleys and I feel like when we go out with our friend group and we’re having a drink or two, I’m like, okay, I’m feeling good. I’m having a great time. I don’t need to get another. And I think one, it’s easier because I’m like, drinks in L.A. are like $17. Why get a third? Um, but also like, let’s just ride the wave. I think that’s something that my mom always told me too, when she knew I was moving out to L.A. and I was going to be around a lot of adult environments, she was like, know that when you feel good, you don’t have to keep adding on to it and be like, I want to feel better. I want to feel–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Christian Weissmann: –even greater. When you feel good–
Josie Totah: So true.
Christian Weissmann: Just stay good. Just just ride the wave. So I think–
Josie Totah: That’s so true.
Christian Weissmann: –I really take that into account.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. I I like thank God that um I would say our friend group has a really healthy manner in approaching like talking about like all substances and I wish like more people were encouraged to like openly talk about it like I, I don’t know why, but I feel like maybe people like are embarrassed or ashamed or like, maybe it’s deemed cringey. But like, I wish there was more of a narrative of like, hey, wherever you’re at is cool, let’s just protect each other. And if there are boundaries crossed, we’ll talk about that. But like whether you don’t want to drink or whether you enjoy a drink more so than the rest of the people in your group, that is fine, but just stay safe and to like, just be healthy. But I feel like especially in college, um I never like this sounds so ridiculous, but I had never seen young people drink like that. Maybe because I wasn’t allowed at the house, but um it was it was my first time like seeing kids with that amount of freedom and just drinking so heavily. And then for some reason, like we wouldn’t talk about it, like we had that friend that would blackout or do really crazy like violent things and like we weren’t confronting them about it.
Yasmine Hamady: I–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And do you know what I mean?
Josie Totah: And you were an RA. So you saw it firsthand.
Yasmine Hamady: You were an RA. [Alycia cheers] And–.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Yasmine Hamady: That’s that’s funny you say that, Alycia, because like, that is like making me feel like [sigh] reflect and like, let’s get vulnerable, but like, me being very, very drunk, hooking up with people in college, was I in the state to do that? And I’m not going to say maybe we cut this out. I don’t know. Maybe if someone else feels like that, I have no idea. I’m not saying, oh, this is what happened when like, no like nothings. I’m okay. But looking back, was I okay enough to go home with someone? Were my friends okay to go home with someone? Were my guy friends okay to go home with someone? And I think it’s because we think that, like, there’s two intoxicated people, that everything is just like then we’re all on the same page. And there’s that communication that’s completely lost too. And–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Yasmine Hamady: –I don’t want to go out and say like, oh, I’m a victim because I’m not going to say that. Um. But I think it’s an interes– it’s a fine line. And I also think, like, how many frat guys have we seen or men actually become violent and like, punch a hole in the wall? The yes. Josie. The literal, like hole in the drywall. And we’re like, oh, he’s just blacked out. That’s fucking weird you guys.
Josie Totah: And I’ll never be that girl to be like, no stop like this isn’t you. Bitch I’ll fucking leave.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah literally.
Christian Weissmann: It’s used as an excuse. [banter]
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah I [?]–
Josie Totah: –[?] punch the hole in the wall.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: [laugh] I will say, like, that definitely turned me off alcohol. I was like, I want if I’m going to keep it a whole buck like, I was like, I want no parts of what is making people do this. You know what I mean? Like, especially as an R.A., which like I totally forgot that chapter in my life, I saw people jeopardize their scholarships, jeopardize their ability to play at a D1 school because they were so codependent on alcohol, which I don’t want to diminish the struggle that it is um when you are dealing with the mental illness that is alcoholism. But um I think that that has a large part to do with how inadequately America introduces alcohol to people. Like that’s the thing. I don’t even like alcohol, but I think like the conversation with children isn’t shouldn’t be like, don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this. 21, 21, 21. And then kids are hiding it. It should be like, hey, let’s have a conversation if you have questions, if you want to, you know, um like it should be in a safe space, you should be drinking with people that you feel safe with. What does um binge drinking look like and why we shouldn’t do that. The effects that it can have on your body. Like what does social and alcoholic culture look like? You know what I mean? Um. So I I feel like if people were introduced in a more healthy, communicative way to alcohol and also empowered to be themselves and to know what you like, what you don’t like and–
Yasmine Hamady: Yes.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –your relationship with alcohol. Because I also think I really commended someone the other day. We’re in a very social setting and we were at a party and they very openly to this group of people they didn’t know well which I loved, was like, yeah, I kind of just have an affinity for alcohol that’s a little too strong. So I’m I’m, you know, I realized that I had to drink less and I was like dope.
Josie Totah: And that’s what and that’s what I heard too they said, if you like it and you want to continue doing it, don’t do too much so you can do it forever in life, you know.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Balance.
Yasmine Hamady: That’s like anything in life–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Balance.
Yasmine Hamady: Balance is sexy. And like I, I know I like drinking, but I know I’m going to stop myself after three because I’m not going to like myself the next day. And I always I feel like we can make like a little tips thing at the end of like if you go to bed sober by the end of the night, like keep drinking water, you’re going to wake up feeling like a dime.
Josie Totah: And your skin’s going to be glowing.
Yasmine Hamady: And your skin, you’re going to take off your makeup, and you’re not going to reek of cigarettes, which I did from this weekend. Um. Don’t smoke kids.
Josie Totah: Don’t do it. But in moving forward, I think you guys both make a great point. It’s know yourself and listen to yourself. And don’t be afraid of being honest because if they’re your true friends and you say, no, I don’t want to drink, they’re going to be okay with that. I’ve literally spent like I’ve done like a four day bender with our best friend Eva who doesn’t drink at all. And we and I didn’t really drink either when we were out, but we went out like four nights in a row and danced to the–
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah Eva.
Josie Totah: –sunrise every time. Like, you don’t have to drink to have fun. Like–
Yasmine Hamady: No and if you do, that’s really like–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.
Yasmine Hamady: That’s I would well I’m not going to say that’s really sad but like take a look inwards.
Josie Totah: Yeah. And ask yourself–
Yasmine Hamady: And see yeah–
Josie Totah: Like, why am I doing this? Is it additive?
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely.
Josie Totah: Or is it to fill something that isn’t there? Because when you–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely.
Josie Totah: –lack nothing, you will not fall victim to dependency. And I think that–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely.
Josie Totah: –is something that we learn as we get older, but we don’t have to blame ourselves for. So yeah, I think listen to yourself and–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I think. Yeah, like we’re human.
Christian Weissmann: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: We’re we’re like, you evolve. I think intention is so important. Like, I loved when I was in the UK with Josie in Scotland. I enjoyed having drinks with her and celebrating her birthday and that was a good time. And I was with people that I felt safe with. So I just think, you know, take care of yourself and look out for the other people around you. Like I’ve had to remove myself from situations because people tried to make fun of me for not drinking when I was like, life is so big and there’s–
Christian Weissmann: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: –so many other things to be concerned about.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like.
Yasmine Hamady: Literally.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: It is it is it is not a part of my personality that I like don’t drink. It’s just a thing. It is what it is. Oh, you want to enjoy a drink? Let me be your designated driver. Okay. Well, I’m not the best driver, but I will be your designated driver.
Yasmine Hamady: That’s– [banter]
Josie Totah: She may drive like a drunk person. But she’s–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: [scoffing] [laugh]
Christian Weissmann: I think you’re a good driver. I think you’re a good driver.
Josie Totah: Yeah he actually–
Yasmine Hamady: Christian!
Josie Totah: He said that the other day.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Thank you.
Josie Totah: He actually said the other day that he thought you were a good driver.
Yasmine Hamady: Christian, are you–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I only–
Yasmine Hamady: Are you drunk right now?
Christian Weissmann: No, I am dead sober.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: I only love Christian.
Christian Weissmann: It’s eleven in the morning. Um.
Josie Totah: To be fair he did ride with her one time.
Christian Weissmann: I did ride with you one time. And then we had a beautiful heart to heart after. So maybe I–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ah!
Christian Weissmann: –just have this–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh my gosh.
Christian Weissmann: –like beautiful like sunshine of that time. But I thought you were a great driver that night.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: That was one of my favorite nights in L.A. in like, a long time, just because I think you’re such a special human.
Christian Weissmann: I love you.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: But thank you, Christian. I only love you.
Yasmine Hamady: Before we hop off, we all have that black out friend. We all were that black out friend. And I think here we at Dare We Say we want to give you some tips and tricks on how to deal with them, and that is don’t fight them. We all they they want to go to this place, take that Uber app away from them and take them home. They want to keep partying, pretend to dance with them. You have to appease them so they don’t, they’re they’re children at the end of the day.
Josie Totah: Feed them water, replace their drinks with water. I remember our friend was telling us that our other friend was drinking and she kept taking her drinks and drinking them herself. So if if you [laugh] if you have if you have the capacity to fill yourself with some drinks, do that. Um.
Christian Weissmann: Maybe like a sink. Or.
Josie Totah: Yeah. Or throw away.
Christian Weissmann: Yeah.
Josie Totah: Uh.
Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. Literally.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. Try to get food in them and also–
Josie Totah: Try to get food in them. [laugh] I’m sorry.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. I would also say be present, take care of them and yourself, like just do whatever is safe. Um. And then the next day you got to be very honest and sit them down and speak to them with love but, you know, say, baby, we got to do better be better because this ain’t cute and we it ain’t sustainable.
Christian Weissmann: Lead with compassion, like you said earlier Alycia.
Josie Totah: Yes. Slip a liquid I.V. in their thing like–
Christian Weissmann: We love a liquid I.V.
Yasmine Hamady: And one last thing. Take away their phones. Don’t let them post on social, [laughter] take away their damn phones. We’re tired. We’re done. No more waking up in a panic with clenching water like you are in a drought. Ugh.
Josie Totah: I just want to say fun fact. One time my friend from college was making out with her ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her and she would not stop kissing him. So I had to slide my face in, I pushed his head away, slided his face away. So she was making out with me because she wouldn’t I kept I tried trying to pull her head apart, and she wouldn’t get off of them. So I just like slid in and then I just had to receive her slobber. And then–
[unknown speaker] Did they notice?
Josie Totah: And I like, had my hand on his head. She didn’t notice. No.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ah!
Josie Totah: Yeah. I just want to say thank you to Christian for joining us today. We love you dearly.
Christian Weissmann: Thank you for having me. I was so happy to be here guys.
Josie Totah: And I vow to walk with you hand in hand as we enter these bars and venues with liquor in it. And we can make informed and compassionate decisions together.
Christian Weissmann: We’ll always look out for each other.
Josie Totah: Exactly. Now we’re going to get–
Alycia Pascual-Peña: Always.
Josie Totah: –blacked out in my house at 12 p.m.
Christian Weissmann: All right.
Josie Totah: And with that. Good bye!
[spoken by all] Bye!
Josie Totah: Dare We Say is a Crooked Media production.
Yasmine Hamady: Caroline Reston is our showrunner, producer and Mommy and Ari Schwartz is our producer and show Daddy. Fiona Pestana is our associate producer and Sandy Girard is the Almighty executive producer.
Josie Totah: It’s hosted and produced by me, Josie Totah.
Yasmine Hamady: And me, Yasmine Hamady.
Alycia Pascual-Peña: And me, Alycia Pascual-Peña. Our engineer and editor is Jordan Cantor. And Brian Vasquez is our theme music composer. Our video producers are Matt DeGroot, Narineh Melkonian, and Delon Villanueva and Mia Kellman.
Josie Totah: Lastly, thank you to Jordan Silver, Gabriela Leverette, Jesse McLean, Caroline Heywood, Shaina Hortsmann, Deisi Cruz, Danielle Jensen and Ewa Okulate for marketing the show and making us look so damn good.
