Humble Emmy-nominee Louis Virtel is joined by guest co-host Michelle Collins to wade through the week’s pop culture drama, including Quentin Tarantino shading George Clooney, Olympic gymnast Jordan Chiles losing her bronze medal, Pat Sajak returning to Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, the alleged feud embroiling It Ends With Us, and the premiere of Love is Blind UK. Then, Louis chats with actor Billy Magnussen about his new film Coup! 

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TRANSCRIPT

 

Louis Virtel And we’re back with an all new episode of Keep It. I remain Louis Virtel, and I’m still, as you know, an Emmy nominee, which the weight of it every week. There’s so much responsibilities when you have one. They don’t tell you this, and I can’t tell you either. It’s a big secret. But, I continue to be doing great. IRA, as you know, is not here. He is on, my joke is “assignment” because, as you know, I can’t picture him doing anything productive whatsoever. But he’s doing something, and he’s not here. But today, we have not just a worthwhile replacement. One of the naturally funniest. And I use natural. We’ll get to that word in a second. Naturally funniest people of all time. Not just a hilarious joke teller, a brilliant talker like somebody like what we keep being promised about Fran Lebowitz is what is actually true about Michelle Collins.

 

Michelle Collins Wow.

 

Louis Virtel Who is our guest host today?

 

Michelle Collins One of the nicest compliments. Oh thank you.

 

Louis Virtel I actually what are your feelings? This is Michelle Collins. Welcome to Keep It, Michelle Collins.

 

Michelle Collins Oh my god. First of all an honor. And we’ll talk about how I’m a Daytime Emmy nominee from law from years past. Yes I still agree to do this. Yes. Amazing how much they are welcome.

 

Louis Virtel Well, I’m going to start right there. What are your opinions on Fran Lebowitz, who I feel like someone like you is supposed to want to be like, just an opinion. Having person who walks around major cities with an air of condescension.

 

Michelle Collins Well, that is again, what an intro. I think I’m a little kinder than Fran. Fran really wants to be hated. And I’m a people pleaser. Like, I, I’m like golden retriever friend Liebowitz, I would say, but I, I love Fran. Yeah, she’s actually coming. I’m in Amsterdam for. I’ve been here for about a year and a half, but she’s coming to speak here in October and I got tickets, but I have no idea what to expect because, you know, I watched her thing with Martin Scorsese, and I think she’s a brilliant mind. I like that she doesn’t give a shit about what people think and doesn’t kind of play to this younger audience. Like, she just says what’s on her mind. She does not care. It’s refreshing. All the people who used to do that are dead. I think. So, really. She’s the remaining living, outspoken person I feel.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, no, I definitely agree. And like Fran, you are in the middle of a tour. The big natural tour.

 

Michelle Collins I’m also in a button down. I’m like, wait a minute. Like. Yeah. I’m like like, Fran, I have a horrible, frizzy Bob. I’m like, wait, what? I was on the edge of my seat like a like Fran. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Go on.

 

Louis Virtel I’m wondering where you got those jeans. No. Yeah, but I think. Have you, you also have the Patreon show, the Michelle Collins show. And I think of you as somebody who I want to listen to in a podcast format, but I must emphasize that Michelle Collins Live is the energy you want to be a part of. You are so commanding of a room. One of my very good friends, Andy Herron, Big Brother winner, just saw you in Chicago, and he could not stop raving about the experience. Do you prefer a live performance or, a podcast format? More for what you do.

 

Michelle Collins Wow. Great question. First of all, love Andy Herron. So hi to him and meant a lot that he came to the show. It’s interesting. I think financially, and bodily wise, I prefer doing shows at home because I don’t have to get dressed. And I’d say overall it earns me more money and it’s less work. So from a lazy perspective, that’s the dream doing that. But from, a personal fulfillment bucket. I think the live shows pretty much are the best. Although, you know, it’s a it’s kind of highs and lows. I just came back from the Edinburgh Fringe Fest. I did not perform there. I was just watching shows. And I felt for some of these performers because some of these shows had like 6 or 7 people. And I’m watching these people on stage giving it their all and like killing themselves for. And it’s uncomfortable when you’re with seven people in a room, if you’re the one laughing like you’re sick, you know, you have a real mental problem, you know, so no one’s comfortable to laugh because there aren’t enough people there to feel safe. And then you’re just watching someone literally kill themselves on. It’s it was one of the worst feelings. And I thought, I don’t I don’t miss that feeling. Like young New York Michelle performing on stage at like Rififi and things like that. But, I love a live audience. The L.A. show, I’m sorry you weren’t there was incredible. We were at the Saban Theater. I did town hall, but I’m coming back to a bunch of cities in September. So please, if you are in any of those cities, come see me. It really is funny, and I can honestly say that after seeing like 15 performers this past weekend that, you’re getting your money’s worth with me not to insult anyone. I’m just saying I was like, wait, I’m really good. Like, what the fuck? I’m great anyway.

 

Louis Virtel Also, so you live in Amsterdam now and have spent a lot of time in Europe in general, and you were just saying you went to Salzburg recently to you ended up at Mozart’s house or something.

 

Michelle Collins Don’t we all? When are we not ending up at Mozart’s house.

 

Louis Virtel For the afters?

 

Michelle Collins Yeah, for the after. Yeah. That’s, I’m thinking of a pun and it’s not coming to me, but I went to salsa. I went to Adele in Munich, which, you know, she’s doing this month long residency at. I think it’s a dark out. I’m not sure I can make that joke, by the way, but it was like I walked in. They built seats, a dugout. I said, this doesn’t feel right. I can make that joke. Me and Fran Lebowitz can make that joke. I’ll say this much. 80,000 seats. Like, you know, when you go to a Thanksgiving at a family’s house and they have, like, the kids table with the folding chairs and every chair? Once you ease, at least me is like a bigger person. Once I ease my way down, it sounds like the Titanic breaking in half. And you’re like, it ain’t going to last. It’s not lasting past the casserole, Louis. That is what the Adele seats felt like. Oh, and I love her. Listen, I paid money. I went specifically to see her. And, like, luckily, no terrorists threatened it. So it happened. Which was right. That’s a horrible thing that happened. Oh my God. Anyway, she was actually great. The show was. How. Just like, getting there. I genuinely felt like. I mean, I’m not going to make any more jokes about it, but I did go to Salzburg and pay €23 to go not only to Mozart’s quote unquote, residency, but also where he was born, Louis Patel. And for those who have not been, allow me to save you out. I love Mozart. Who doesn’t? You’d have to be sick. I mean, you really have to be fucked up you to be like, not a fan.

 

Louis Virtel You’re right. Doesn’t do it. It doesn’t hit.

 

Michelle Collins Yeah. So and as you can hear, I’m like, I’ve lost my voice completely, but. And I went, it’s a room. It’s a wooden room, an Airbnb, 4.2 stars, let’s call it. And then hands scrawled on the wall, it goes, Mozart was born here. No, like, that’s 23 on my life. I have a picture of it. I said, okay, that’s €23 next. And then and the B0, you can imagine summertime Austria. I always think if the Nazis knew what happened, I mean, they would be vomiting. It’s so stinky. Again, I can say that stink bombs left and right. I was in Berlin a few weeks ago. Forget about it. There’s no. There’s not a dry idea in the house. Not one.

 

Louis Virtel They’re shameless.

 

Michelle Collins You know. Genuinely. Have you been to Germany, by the way?

 

Louis Virtel No, I have to say it. I’m not. I’m not a travel obsessed person. I like very ritual oriented. That said, Berlin does speak to me just because I want to meet more people who have naturally look angry all the time. Those are my people.

 

Michelle Collins Well, I don’t know. I actually think you’d be better off in Vienna. Really? Because the Vienna. I really think so. The Berlin, I don’t know, I went to Berlin and I felt like Jessica Tandy, I was so old. Everyone felt like.

 

Louis Virtel I feel like that also. But I love that about myself. Okay. Go ahead.

 

Michelle Collins Maybe it’s a woman. It’s different. I don’t like it. But. And by the way, his residency, I walked in. I was the only person there. I thought, wow, this is like a hot ticket. Apparently, Mozart’s residency. And there was, like, a young girl working there, and I said, oh, so his family lived here because I didn’t pay for the headphones, you know? And she went, you know, I think they lived here for like two months, I swear on my life. With that tone, she was like, I think I said, oh, that piano, did he play it? She goes, I don’t know, I don’t, I don’t know. I said, is this just someone’s house that they’re just charging under? I mean, what is going on here? These Austrians need to get it together. But Salzburg is lovely. Munich is nice. Berlin. It wasn’t for me, but I could see you liking it. It has. Are you, like, very into underground clubbing.

 

Louis Virtel I can dial into it if I’m on vacation, so I would make some time for it. Yeah, you.

 

Michelle Collins Would like it? Actually, I think you should go. Come visit me and then go there.

 

Louis Virtel And Vienna is way more scenic, right? Like you walk around there and it’s like. Like somebody’s Christmas portrait tour of something.

 

Michelle Collins Vienna. I haven’t been in, like 20 years to Vienna, but last time I was there, every single balcony I could see. You know who giving a very, charismatic speech. I said, oh, every balcony. I said, oh, I’m feeling a speech. I can’t explain it, but it has a bit of that. But yeah, it’s listen, it’s it all looks the same after a while. You know, you go to one European city that’s on the other end. It’s like great. It’s beautiful. You have to go back to New York to remember, like, what a shit smeared brick wall looks like. And then you come back, you’re like, oh, this is nice.

 

Louis Virtel So it’s like coming to live in Amsterdam. I actually have no sense of it as a city to walk around on.

 

Michelle Collins It is like a village, I would say, more than a city. It’s it’s a little small for me, to be honest. But it’s a very beautiful place. I’m certainly much more relaxed since moving here from New York. New York made me insane. Like I was having, like, panic attacks in subway elevators and I had to go out.

 

Louis Virtel So you were fitting right in. I mean, I can’t imagine walking out and not seeing something in the vein of a panic attack, let alone having one.

 

Michelle Collins Oh, yeah. Exactly. No one ever looked at me and that was a problem. So I had to come to a place. The other thing is, the Dutch are very tall and I, as a six foot one woman, wanted to finally blend in. And I will tell you that I do blend in here. No, I don’t like any mind.

 

Louis Virtel It’s nice. Oh, yeah. No, all those countries like you should have friends named like Ulrika, for sure.

 

Michelle Collins Oh, well. Rica Johnson, I know her. I actually think that is someone. I think I think it’s like a designer of. Anyway. Good friends. How have you been? I haven’t talked to Louis. People need to know Louis Patel, one of my favorite people. One of the funniest. Every time I see you, you’re doing basically my dream. You’re in jeopardy. Or at the Oscars, you’re doing the most amazing things. Life is grand. I mean, how have you been?

 

Louis Virtel Oh, please. I’m great. I mean, like, well, here’s what I’ll say about doing activities like that. They’re all I’m capable of as an adult. Like I’m not. I can’t go and like, help, you know, put the space shuttle together or like whatever, like grocery shop properly. I can’t like, all I can do is talk about the Oscars. Like, if they don’t put this microphone in front of me, you know, it’s like. Ate with the sunflower. Like I had come to life right down, you know?

 

Michelle Collins So cute. Yeah. Oh my God, little eats belly. Yeah, yeah. I want to bring, some gossip. I just ride because I’m curious. This is an interesting pop culture debate. I literally read this maybe ten minutes before starting this. Did you see that there’s beef between Quentin Tarantino and George Clooney?

 

Louis Virtel Just read it today. And it was him saying about George Clooney that he’s not really a movie star anymore. And he said, name a movie he’s done since the millennium. And George responded with, well, that’s kind of my whole fucking career. I will say this. I mean, it’s interesting he’s somebody who we think of as an A-lister, and he’s not as not as around as some people are. So I kind of see grading him shakily on that front. But at the same time, like Michael Clayton, like the Ocean’s movie, I mean, like those are if we didn’t have those movies, there’d be holes in pop culture.

 

Michelle Collins It’s so funny you said Michael Clayton, because I texted it to a friend of mine, and I was like, I kind of think he has a point. And the thing my friend wrote back, he goes, I love Michael Clayton. I’ve never seen Michael Clayton, so now I feel like I can’t actually have an opinion until watching Michael Clayton. I kind of agree though I do. I met George once on a red carpet and he was very funny. Like he he was with Stacey Keebler at the time to age myself and we were both like towering over him. And he kind of made a small man joke, which is my kink. Like, I love when men joke about being short. I’m like, okay, I’m turned on like stop Short King. We love that. But I don’t think in film, I don’t think he’s like one of the great actors of our generation. I don’t he’s good looking. I wasn’t an ER person either, but I can see his point a little bit.

 

Louis Virtel He’s not bad. Yeah. He’s charming and and also, I think really valuable as like an interviewee because I think he’s like naturally like, like wittier than most actors would be and stuff. And also speaking on the short King thing, there is something just classic Hollywood in that way, like Alan Ladd is five four or something and or like Humphrey Bogart’s that short or something like, I love that shit. You know, that’s just the truth of being a certain kind of iconic actor.

 

Michelle Collins But funny, you brought up Alan Ladd. I just was talking about Alan Ladd yesterday.

 

Louis Virtel What?

 

Michelle Collins I swear.

 

Louis Virtel Michel, you can’t leave. I need you here.

 

Michelle Collins I will be here every week. All you have to do is literally look my direction in LA, and I’ll feel it on the back of my neck. I was I sent my parents a clip of The Odd Couple on Match Game and Famous clip with Betty White. And is it Alan Ladd or who am I doing?

 

Louis Virtel Alan Ludden is the host of, yes. You mean Betty White’s, beloved ex-husband Alan Ladd, as the is like a 4070s movie star. He’s in movies like Veronica Lake and stuff.

 

Michelle Collins Well, as a 23 year old, why the fuck would I know who Alan Ladd is? I mean, like, honestly, I’m offended now. I, you know, it’s it’s shameful that you would even bring his name up.

 

Louis Virtel In front of me. I’m sorry.

 

Michelle Collins But anyway, it’s fine. Yeah. Oh, my God.

 

Louis Virtel Michelle, thank you so much for being here. Psyched to talk to you throughout the episode today. What’s going on is the Olympics are wrapped up. And actually, I have to say, I’m a little depressed about it. I didn’t realize how much fun I was having watching. We’ll get into the specific events, but you’re a big Olympics diva, too.

 

Michelle Collins I live and die for the Olympics. It is again. As someone, I believe there is an athlete inside of me that my parents never just, encouraged. And they gave me a violin and a stage and here we are. But I watch it, and I don’t know what my event would have been if it would have been volleyball. Hammer throw would have been one of the big shouldered ones. It would not have been gymnastics like that much. I now would not have been trampoline. But I love seeing people encourage each other. I think it is a very pure event. And yet everything is riding on it. It to me, it’s like Eurovision in that way. Like you just are rooting for the underdog. It really came to a point where I kind of stopped rooting for the U.S. I was a bit over the American thing. I’m like, okay, can we let Azerbaijan have a moment for once? Like, I mean, give other people a chance?

 

Louis Virtel I felt the same way. We will get into that. Our guest today, I just interviewed the affable, like, dictionary definition, affable Billy Magnussen. He is in a new movie, coup. In addition to, by the way, so many great movies. It was it was a pleasure going through his filmography and being like, oh, another banger. He will be here today.

 

Michelle Collins He’s a lovely guy, by the way.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, yeah. You know him a little bit, right?

 

Michelle Collins We. Listen, we used to go to parties together in the 80s. No, I did know him back when I lived in New York, you know, peripherally, but, very, very nice and gorgeous. Another bit of a short king. A little about, I hope you don’t mind me saying that, but that’s said with love.

 

Louis Virtel I know you’re not capable of going to parties in the 80s, but I would love you just getting in a fight with, like, Basquiat. I think that would be a really good time.

 

Michelle Collins I got we haven’t spoken since, since that Christmas party. You know, I he said, no, I know I would have been great in the 80s because I would have loved drugs so much. Like, I would have just been so glamorous and druggy. Yeah, unfortunately, you know, it didn’t work out timing wise.

 

Louis Virtel And and then also in the show, Michelle will basically be a telemarketer for reality shows. I am not watching and she will convince me to watch Love Is Blind, which I think she’s going to be able to do it, but I want to hear it from her mouth.

 

Michelle Collins I’m. It’s going to happen. I’m very excited.

 

Louis Virtel Very good, very good. We will be back with more Keep It.

 

Louis Virtel [AD}

 

Michelle Collins Over the whole Olympics?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Go ahead.

 

Michelle Collins My two favorite events that I don’t think any candles can be held to them. Really? Three. Synchronized diving. Ten meter platform only is one of the most exhilarating. It was. No, because the three meter, you’re like, we gotta. It’s like two spans, ten meters. Now we’re getting into pink territory. Now we’re catapulting ourselves across an arena. You know, it turns into Cirque du Soleil.

 

Louis Virtel Julie Taymor is on the phone, correct? Yes. Yes.

 

Michelle Collins No. Genuinely. And. Oh, God, it’s so exciting. And I’ll say one thing. I hope you know, it’s hard to talk about countries without feeling in a weird way, but nobody synchronizes like the Chinese. Can I say that is a compliment? I mean, they went to every synchronized event. They did look synchronized swimming. They want every gold. So China’s got that shit on lock. I don’t know what they’re doing there with the sinking, but they’re killing it. Trampolining. Did you watch trampoline?

 

Louis Virtel I tend I like trampoline, I like any gymnastic event, but trampoline is really just. They have to have a little bit of a death wish. There’s just something about landing on your on the side of your heel even that could, like, dislocate your spine for forever. So the fear level with me is like a little too high, I will say in the same light where like I do not crave Cirque du Soleil. Like I don’t want to see them do that trampoline I like more. But there is something about people who are in danger where I think, what if you weren’t?

 

Michelle Collins Wow, I love it. I love Cirque du Soleil. I love meeting people from Poland. It’s always Polish people and that. Can I say this like, I hope I can, trampoline. It was great. And then also the synchronized swimming. But another caveat is only the group swimming. I found the duet synchronized swimming a little lacking for me. I like the theatrics of the whole group. Obviously gymnastics was very exciting, but yeah, I don’t know. Those are the three events that people I think were really sleeping on. And if you can go back in your Peacock app and still watch them, it’s a must. They were the most exciting.

 

Louis Virtel Things, the synchronized, swimming when it’s a whole bunch of people. First of all, it just looks truly like an old Hollywood musical or something. So I love that we gamify that just alone like that. Busby Busby Berkeley is a sports that we can all play. But you’re right. When two people are synchronized, it just looks like, oh, you came up with something while you were hanging out at the pool.

 

Michelle Collins Yeah. It’s like, why do you guys do the George Washington and get on your way? I need to go. Like, there were other things I couldn’t get into. Like what? What were your favorite things that you watched? Random ones I guess.

 

Louis Virtel I will say this I really am obsessed with all women’s track and field, because I find them to be the most quotable athletes. You know, after a race, like, they’re huffing and puffing and then, you know, their look is unbelievable. Like the makeup quotient of just women’s track and field is fabulous. But the cockiness of it, you know, just because the Olympics are so ultimately about camaraderie and it feels like everybody got the same memo from the Academy about how to act as an athlete. These people, like always, have written a little poem about themselves and about how I need to take what’s mine. And you’re not going to take that from me. So just that even slight bit of WrestleMania edge I really like from these athletes. And also, by the way, the face cards, these women all look like supermodels. It’s so shocking.

 

Michelle Collins It’s upsetting. Have you ever seen me walk out of a gym? You wouldn’t have. But if I had, if I had gone, it’s not a pretty sight. It’s. Now we’re getting into Shotput territory. You know, when I leave a gym, it’s not because there’s. There’s two kinds of track and field women. There’s your runners, and then you’ve got your, you know, the hammer throw girls which are trash ball, you know, and listen, that’s okay. I’m six foot one, I can say it. But some of these women, I go, well, this is I would probably at least bronze with zero training. I mean I’m watching them going, this is it. And that’s okay. You know, it’s fine. But they really. Did you watch women’s weightlifting randomly? I happened to see it, on Scottish TV this weekend.

 

Louis Virtel No, I did not. I will say this I love I love when I happen to cross that literally one time, one of my first times ever at a gym, some woman who must have been a competitive weightlifter was there and she was in a full metal pink outfit, like it looked like it was ready for like the Barbie Olympics or whatever. I, I literally had to go up to her and I said I was like, it, it’s so amazing to watch it. It literally was like. Like I was watching a live Jackson Pollock performance or something. It felt patronizing to say to somebody now in retrospect, but I it was it’s so amazing to watch a woman weightlifter these women.

 

Michelle Collins And it was the bigger girls because there’s like two classes. Some of the things like boxing I can’t do men or women like that. There are some things like you with the, the fear aspect of it that are too rough for me, and I just don’t like that. But these women came out first of all. They were giggling, laughing like little babies and then coming out and hoisting 400 pounds. You know, I had to look up the kilograms because I’m a fucking dummy, 400 pounds over their head. And this screen, it was so guttural. I’m watching it going how, you know, and props to them, because if we’re going to go into like face cards and supermodel looks and this and that, you know, they’re showing up not standard wise, like what we would consider, you know, supermodels, let’s just put it out there. And they are unbelievable athletes. I really feel for them because I feel like in their daily life they don’t get that credit based on being like bigger women or I’m sure the men as well. And it’s bullshit because they absolutely killed it. I was crying, I didn’t expect it. I took video of one of the women winning. She lifted her coach up like spun them over her head like a propeller. I’m going. No, I swear it was amazing. It’s really. It’s amazing what the human body is able to accomplish, genuinely.

 

Louis Virtel Have you thought about the Jordan Chiles gymnastics controversy right now? Because I have to say, it really is some news stories that come out just in general. They just suck. There’s like no upside. There’s no answer that makes me feel good. But what happened is Jordan Chiles was awarded a bronze, after her team contested a calling that would have kept her out of metal placement. So she ended up getting the bronze after that. And then now they’re saying, actually, you filed this little petition seconds too late, so you don’t deserve the medal anymore. You have to give it back. And they’re still in this, limbo area where she hasn’t decided to give it back or not. What would you do and what should you do?

 

Michelle Collins Here’s what makes me feel physically sick for these girls who I think we can all agree we all deserve praise. They were all unbelievable. But I really did think that the Romanian girls were incredible, genuinely. I don’t understand if they agreed to share the bronze. They literally gave a pass to the commission saying, hey, clearly this has never gotten like hearts are going to be broken. This is never going to be resolved. It’s not like they’re fighting for gold. They’re fighting for bronze. Okay, so this is like symbolic more than anything else. You know, they said we’ll share it. And this commission I forgot what they’re called the UAG summit. They said no. That is to me one of the most despicable things. I understand that they are so far up their own ass that they have to keep with the precedent. And, you know, they don’t want to set the stage for years to come. But how selfish is that? Because now, not only do they look terrible, but they still don’t even have an answer because now they said, oh, she filed it too late and video footage is saying no, they actually filed it, I think 47 and 55 seconds afterwards, not over a minute after. So the whole thing is a cluster from the great beyond. I’m at a loss, genuinely.

 

Louis Virtel I if it were happening to me, I mean I would become I’m so egotistically protective over like I think there’s like accolades because I’m like, you can’t take the accolade away from me. So at that point, if I’m awarded a bronze medal, I truly think I’m on the run with it. I think absolutely, you will never find me again.

 

Michelle Collins I’m writing a song about it called Accolades Lament. It’s deep cut reference. I just came up with that. I’m. It’s good. That should be what they’re calling this entire fiasco. Because it’s sick. It really. It’s, horrible. And listen, Jordan is such a sweetie. Yeah. Oh, so, you know, these.

 

Louis Virtel Gymnasts are like, I don’t. It can’t just be media training. There is something about them where it’s. I don’t know if it’s like the generation or what, but they just seem accustomed seemingly to like the insanity of the sport and expectations. And coming out, I said this last week, How is Simone Biles so fucking normal? Like her interview? She’s like, it’s so casual. It’s so, the sensibility is so there’s no other word for it. Adult. It just seems unbelievable to me. I don’t understand it.

 

Michelle Collins I mean, she’s I think she’s like 29, 27.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, but I’m just saying, if my growth was stunted in a sport where, like, everything was about one particular set of skills, I would not be seeming that mature.

 

Michelle Collins I would be literally putting square blocks in circular holes, being like, I don’t know, I don’t know how to do it, I don’t know, I agree. No, Simone, listen, I do think including for comedians, I think all performers in gymnastics is a performance. You have to be a little bit mentally ill. I don’t think that it’s like a normal thing to dedicate yourself so much to a passion like that. And so I think that it’s all part of the game, you know, it’s all part of the performance, is being able to then turn and be able to do things. I notice that in football, players aren’t as good because of, you know, the concussions. You know what I mean? Like they’re not as but but with these girls, you know, it’s some ankle things whatever. But they’re they’re very impressive very sweet group of girls. And I don’t know you know I loved is that Rebecca Andre.

 

Louis Virtel Oh excuse me love her. First of all, just Brazil in general is like the best of the Olympics because it’s so fabulous. It’s one they look amazing. And then the verve of all the athletes there, you know.

 

Michelle Collins And, you know, you hear a story like that. And this is where compared to like Americans where it’s like, let me guess, you finished practice and then you got a cake pop at target. Like I think we all know what they were up to. This girl had to walk, like, miles from her very poor home to rehearsal. Rehearsal, I call it, you know, practice every day. Didn’t have the financial means that I think a lot of the other countries afford their athletes and still just such a God given talent with her. And also, funny, I could just tell she’s fine. Of all the gymnasts, she is the one that I want to party with because I’m like, no, she you can tell, talk some good shit. I wish I spoke Portuguese because I know she has stories and I want to know what they are. No.

 

Louis Virtel When those two girls were when Simon and Jordan were on that medal stand doing the little bow down to her. Yeah, I mean, I could tell that wasn’t just a professional camaraderie thing. It was something about this person in general is just dynamite, you know, like like has a personality. You know, I’m sure some like I’m sure gymnasts like Simone Biles are so fucking great fun when they meet another gymnast and they are anything behind the eyes. I’m just I’m that’s my guess.

 

Michelle Collins It’s like a theater kid, right? Think about it. And, you know, it’s it’s like, I’m not going to name any names, but, let’s just put it this way. At those funny girl rehearsals, I wanted more. I meant to say auditions, but let’s just go with rehearsals. That’s fine. Anyway.

 

Louis Virtel Michelle, is there a historical, Olympics moment that got you hooked on the Olympics in general? Do you remember the formative moments? That really stuff?

 

Michelle Collins Wow. You know, I always talk on my show about the Beijing opening ceremonies, and funny enough, I think, I was watching Morning Joe, as I’m known to do, and they were speaking about how great the Paris Games were, even though these swimmers got E.coli, blah, blah, blah, and how the Beijing Olympics were a shit show, like they were just the total opposite and a mess to the home viewer. That opening ceremony to me was everything. I mean, it just I don’t know if you remember it with the drummers drumming and saying.

 

Louis Virtel I think it’s one of the most expensive anythings of all time, like productions.

 

Michelle Collins Period after Terminator three, which is. Is funny enough, my favorite Terminator cast the most to make odd choice. I know what you’re thinking. Make it make sense, I can’t. The truth is this it costs the most to make, and when you’re watching it, you actually are like, wow, this must have cost a lot of money. And it’s good. I like seeing the money don’t put things into CGI for me. Knock a whole highway down. Remember the movie speed? Oh yes. Have a bus jump the whole, you know, don’t just give me fucking CGI.

 

Louis Virtel Or like, a couple of good costumes. Yeah, I want to see the actual, like, things in motion. Right?

 

Michelle Collins Give it to me in motion. But yeah. What about you?

 

Louis Virtel It’s. I mean, like, I remember very distinctly the 96, women’s, gymnastics team. And what’s weird is Kerri Strug is the one I remember the least. Like, I remember she’s a little bit. I remember her the way people are now talking about the pommel horse guys. Stephen Nutter separates like, oh, yeah, came in at the end and had the big moment like that. That was cool. But like, I was really keyed into Dominique Moceanu because first of all, let’s just talk about Romania as a foreign planet. Who are these people like? They’re Transylvanian. They are all related to, I believe, Bela Lugosi. And and then they come here and they’re amazing gymnasts. By the way. Nadia. Come on. Each has a personality. Love her too. Big fan of hers.

 

Michelle Collins But I know people are mad at her, but I agree with you. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah. Dominique Moceanu, she was. She danced to the devil, went down to Georgia. And first of all, that was like a pop culture reference. I understood as a ten year old. So I was like, okay, playing with what we know. Like I was getting into the sport, getting into, like the madness of it. And of course it was in Atlanta too. But like, Dominique Dawes, loved her. Amanda Borden, Jaycie Phelps, Shannon Miller yeah, I was those were like, that was the first time I watched an Olympics and muttered under my breath in a gateway, my girls.

 

Michelle Collins Please. My girl three.  Wait, do you know about Dominique Moceanu?

 

Louis Virtel She’s divorced from her parents.

 

Michelle Collins Yes. But you know the greater story to that.

 

Louis Virtel I am not sure.

 

Michelle Collins I’m a okay, I’ve told this story to so many people. I have literally told it on stage. It is one of the saddest stories. I’m in a stand up show and I’m going. I got to talk about Dominique much. Anybody who knows me personally who’s hearing this shit the second you said Dominique, but she on it, they’re like, okay, she’s activated. They know, they know. Listen to this story, okay? It’s got I’m going to try to tell it quickly. So about, I don’t know, seven, eight years ago right when I was on The View lol I was home in my very expensive apartment I couldn’t afford, and I was watching one of my favorite shows, Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. Did you ever watch that show?

 

Louis Virtel Yes, I like Bryant Gumbel.

 

Michelle Collins Love Bryant Gumbel.

 

Louis Virtel And Greg. Yes

 

I was just going to say I love all the Gumbels.  You can’t point to me one Gumbel I don’t like. So, anyway, I’m watching it. And if you know the show, I’m not a sports person, but it would follow personalities and show you stories of people overcoming crazy things and blah, blah, blah. They had a story about a girl who was born just like her, top half, like no legs. And she, you know, was wheelchair bound, obviously. And her parents, gave her up for adoption right after birth. She ended up being adopted by the loveliest family, Midwestern American family who raised her. She could not have gotten any luckier. They said you’re just like anyone else, you know, don’t like this. Stop you from achieving your dreams. She’s watching Dominique Moceanu at the Olympics, and she’s like, I love her so much. She reminds me of me. She so cute. Posters all over the wall. She goes to her mom, she goes, I want to be a gymnast. Are you listening? Yes. The mother says, now listen, I know, and I’m watching this. It’s probably two in the morning. I’m like, under the covers eating Mozart. Google. Okay. And she goes, Ma, I want to be a gymnast. The mom says, no, honey, I know I told you, you can do anything you want. This is like maybe the one thing that, like, won’t work. Well, guess what? The girl she goes starts winning competitions, you know, blah blah blah. Are you ready for the twist? Yes. You’re going to freak. Okay, so a few years later, maybe the girl is now 15, 16 years old. The mother is watching NBC sports watching a gymnastics competition. Dominique Moceanu is competing. They cut to her parents in the audience. She sees the names and she thinks those really look familiar.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, I remember this.

 

Michelle Collins Do you remember this?

 

Louis Virtel Go ahead, go ahead.

 

Michelle Collins I have chills every time.

 

Louis Virtel Yes.

 

Michelle Collins Look at my arm. Proof. She goes to the adoption paperwork and it’s her full blooded sister Lewis for tell. That is. I’m sobbing.

 

Louis Virtel It’s so.

 

Michelle Collins It’s my arm. I told this story literally no less than 7000 times. I can’t get over it. And now we all know that Dominique, poor girl, was abused by her parents. They were horrible to her. I think the dad, the mom was also probably, I’m assuming abuse but divorced her parents blah blah blah. Anyway, now they have this relationship. They had a documentary come out about it. But remember this, I mean this. Can you believe.

 

Louis Virtel This? No, it’s beyond like a lifetime movie or any, like, lazily written TV adaptation. It makes no sense at all that that would happen.

 

Michelle Collins It’s three in the morning. I’m in a building in Columbus Circle. I’m screaming for dear life. I mean, I’m literally.

 

Louis Virtel I’m up in Paris biting.

 

Michelle Collins My blanket. I’m just like, what is happening here? So you activated my Dominique Moceanu story. I had to share it. But it’s to me, one of the all time great. Not just sports stories, but just in general life stories. I mean, imagine finding out. And she was born with it. And by the way, I think this is not a joke. That she became a backup dancer for pink. How many spheres can you believe on.

 

Louis Virtel To bring it back to Pink and Ariel ism? Yes. Okay. Fabulous.

 

Michelle Collins It always comes back to pink, and the synchronized Chinese half waits for me. I don’t know about you guys.

 

Louis Virtel Anyway, I will end this conversation on this. It was very touching to watch Tom Daley discuss retiring from the sport, because first of all, I just want to say, I mean, in the world of face cards. You can’t not look at him. He has the face like the red Eminem or something, where it’s just like pure jolly. Like I can’t explain it like. Like the enthusiasm is so genuine. It’s so, I don’t know, he just has that kind of movie star quality. And then for his performance at the Olympics to, like, improve over the years, it’s just so cool to see. And he kept at it for so long anyway, I have become I thought I was I enjoyed him once upon a time. Now I’m a huge fan of Tom Daley.

 

Michelle Collins He’s adorable and so talented and so cut and so muscular.

 

Louis Virtel And also it’s so encouraging that someone like him would be married to a screenwriter. You know what I mean? When does that happen?

 

Michelle Collins I mean, in my dreams, that’s.

 

Louis Virtel What I’m saying.

 

Michelle Collins Maybe in the maybe the world of Dominique Moceanu, but not in real life.

 

Louis Virtel No, not where we live now. Not where we live. We will be back in a moment with the fabulous Billy Magnussen. Today’s Keep It guest is one of those actors whose face on screen instantly tells you, okay, we’re in good hands from scene stealing work in films like Into the Woods and Game Night, to his unsettlingly captivating performance in the series made for love. Do not sleep on that guy’s. He’s always giving you what you want, plus a little extra. Now he’s here to share some of his method behind the madness of the new dark comedy coup, which is such an enjoyable movie. Please welcome to Keep It Billy Magnussen.

 

Billy Magnussen Thanks, man. Thank you for the kind words. Jeez, I couldn’t be more grateful of that. I know you are very much a film buff in the entertainment buff, so your opinion is, well researched, I guess, but you don’t know me yet. So? So.

 

Louis Virtel Well, Billy. My change. I wish more people come on this podcast and say that exact thing. You’re right. My opinion does matter first and foremost. So I’m glad you acknowledged that as we began. But first of all, talking about this movie, it’s actually a pleasure watching you do interviews about this movie because it seems like there’s a real camaraderie with everybody involved. It’s this small production, but it’s this taut, really thrilling class comedy. Just talk about getting involved with the movie in general and what made you excited to do it?

 

Billy Magnussen Well, you know, this industry, there’s like, it feels like there’s only two levels in it. It’s either like the gazillion dollar budgets and you get everything you want to get lobster for lunch or whatever. And then there’s this, these, these people that are passionate artists that don’t have the voice and they have to scrap everything together to make something special happen, you know? And when you’re at that level of, filmmaking with people that are passionate and wake up every day knowing that there’s a possibility they’re not going to get really paid or do anything, they’re doing it out of something that means something to them. You get real, real love. With production, you kind of create a community that’s not just showing up for a paycheck, but for something deeper in life. So I feel very blessed to have been a part of Q and having my production company happy about bungalow be a part of it is like the greatest gift I can ask for. And this being like one of our flagship productions, you know.

 

Louis Virtel You always are just a stand out character in what you do, period. But I love this character for you. It’s still kind of feels like something I haven’t seen you do before. Talk about playing this particular guy. He’s a journalist, but there’s a lot going on with this person.

 

Billy Magnussen Well, yeah, yeah. JK Horton again, so proud of this film that hopefully people will see it and stuff. We don’t have the budget. I was just listening to your last episode of Wolverine and and Deadpool. You know, we don’t have the budget to promote it or do anything of this. So, like, I can only be grateful for people like you and your podcast to get the word out about it, because we don’t have the budget to do that. But this film, for me, really a it shows it’s a bit of the struggle of class warfare and the hypocrisy that sometimes goes into it. And that’s what I really wanted to explore with it. And like, you have a period piece and you could use that distance or that veil of that time period or something to talk about things that are relevant and such. The hypocrisy of now is like people have social media, they have these formats or these, these arenas where they can present how the world sees them. But how are they really acting? I can show you that I’m having a great life and I’m doing all these cool things, but once that camera shuts off or once I don’t show that photo, who are who are you as a real person? And I thought that was a really good stage to have that discussion on through. Q you know.

 

Louis Virtel Now I want to discuss the particular animal that is Peter Sarsgaard, because he is one of the few people. And, we had Cate Blanchett here last week talking about Judi Dench in Notes on a scandal that.

 

Billy Magnussen You’re not named. I don’t.

 

Louis Virtel Know, I can’t believe it happened. It feels surreal. It just needs to be brought up again and again. Sorry, but Peter Sarsgaard is one of the few straight men on screen I would describe as delicious. And he is delicious in this movie. Can you talk about watching him do this role? Because he was also just in Presumed Innocent recently, which he was so good. The, Apple TV, plus show. Talk about working with him.

 

Billy Magnussen The first and foremost, the best part about working with someone like Peter Sarsgaard is that I can now call him a friend, which means the world to me, because like a lot of times in this business, you do just show up for a job and you like, do your thing and you don’t. You don’t get to know, like, you know, people, but you’re not friends anymore. But he became a friend. He is a legend as an actor and like someone I like, his style and his approach to acting is the way I would like to work with people over and over again. Where it’s a game, it’s a spar. It’s like, for me, acting has always been like jazz, you know, the the scale and you kind of know the main like body of the composed piece. But then with jazz you have to dance around the notes and like if you throw out a beat or throw out a different note, the other actor has to pick up and play with that. And it keeps making this fun little world. And to be doing a piece like that with him is a gift. And he he’s just a master of his craft and his, his being, which is, you know, I’m going to watch.

 

Louis Virtel Have you been to his stunning place? And I’m going to guess Manhattan or the village or something, because there was an architectural digest with him and Maggie Gyllenhaal. And I still think about that, like some people just like the decor in their house. I’m like, wow, you are particular. You’re like weird people. You’re weirdos.

 

Billy Magnussen No, no. They’re great. Actually, they’re they’re really wonderful couple to hang out with. I really, really have enjoyed getting to know, Maggie as well. I have not been to their house, but he tells me about his place, in a state north of New York where he’s a beekeeper. And I’m just like, of course you are a beekeeper, bro, right? That’s exactly what you do.

 

Louis Virtel The resting look in his eyes as I own bees. There’s just something I can tell. I can tell intuitively, about that.

 

Billy Magnussen The best part after, like, shooting cool with him was like, going, like we would get a beer after work, you know, again, with this film, we’re carrying lights. We’re carrying camera equipment for the next set up through the day. And like, afterwards, going back to a bar and just having a beer and chatting about and being excited about approaching the next scene, like, that’s who I want to be working with. People don’t want to show up that actually, like share the time with people. Not not are just like, hello, selfie master tutorial. You know, they’re all about themselves. And I just it’s it gets tiring after a while.

 

Louis Virtel If I were your therapist, I would be saying you. It sounds like you’re aching to get back to live theater. It sounds like that must be the area where you have, like, the best time. I obviously I don’t know if people remember this. You are a Tony nominee for the awesome Christopher drawing play. Vanya and Sonia. Masha and spike. Did I get those in order?

 

Billy Magnussen I think so, I get insomnia and mushrooms. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel That’s correct. And I can only. I just feel like if I were like a stage actor, his lines would be the thing I would most want to do. Like, they pop off the page. It’s like hilarious. Like, people are shocked and yet, it’s the kind of thing you want to tell other people to go see. You know, I assume that is a moment crystallized in time for you.

 

Billy Magnussen It is, this theater. I think that’s like a performance every night that that single performance is crystallized in the minds of the people that I’ve shared it with. I think it’s specifically with theater is half the job is the audience’s job to go along on the journey. It’s a 5050 battle with with the audience, and you share the experience together. And good theater is the actors and, playwright director inviting the audience to be like, hey, make this journey with me, make this story happen, and you have to play. And I think it’s magical. There’s a lot of times when you’re doing film and stuff, it’s like, stand there, we’re going light you whatever. Say the line how it is, you know, it’s, I’m a I like playing. I just like playing and dreaming.

 

Louis Virtel Along side that. It’s interesting that you talk so much about camaraderie because I associate you with so many fun ensemble movies and it’s, you know, game night for one, into the Woods, even, like Bridge of Spies, which is not like those other two movies at all. Do you have any? I don’t know about favorite performances, but performances you just got to watch from the sidelines and just take in and watch the actor prime them and change them. That, sort of got you rabid.

 

Billy Magnussen Yeah. Again, I, like you said I started in theater and I got the opportunity to be in Into the Woods, and I’m dropping Meryl Streep’s name again, and, I was off camera watching her do her performance, like. And she was, like, doing all this stuff that was, like, around the camera, around her face, and, like, watching it just in the distance. I was like, That’s Meryl Streep. Like, what is she doing? It doesn’t make it looks horrible. Like, if I was thinking for theater sense, it’s like, that’s horrible. And then I looked at the screen that she was performing to, and she understood the proscenium that she was playing to and knowing, like, your proscenium is changing. So she was playing the camera and you’re like, oh my God, it’s brilliant, because she knew the stage she was on and that that was a big flip for me, a big switch that, made sense in my head. All of a sudden it’s like, no, your audience where you’re playing it and, you can you can make magic things happen within these, these frames. You know, it makes sense.

 

Louis Virtel No, it’s funny that you say that because, this new documentary on Elizabeth Taylor just came out, and there’s a part in it where Richard Burton talks about how he watched her, like on set in Cleopatra, and he’s like, she’s not doing anything. And then he watched the rushes and realized that it’s all so eye popping the way, you know, the camera finds these moments on these, you know, Elizabeth Taylor blinks and it’s cinema suddenly, you know. Do you have any favorite moments of figuring out how to work the cameras? And that’s obviously, you know, a completely different skill than acting on the stage?

 

Billy Magnussen Yeah. Well, you know, being doing this almost 20 years now, surprisingly like the how important the camera itself is and how it positions itself and how that tells a story and making sure you’re in line with the director as, as it moves to to tell the story brilliantly. Like, again, Bridge of Spies you brought up. I remember seeing there was a shot like this magistrate or whatever is standing in front of Tom Hanks, the cameras behind them. And Tom is small in the frame, like deep, deep in the distance. And he’s going through the speech where he’s like, slowly winning the, the, the audience over on to his side. But Spielberg used the camera to like, go over the the judges and then to, find Tom where he slowly grows like his character, his power grows, and being like, oh, that’s a master at work. He is just telling the audience visually that this character is getting stronger and bigger in the frame because he’s more important now, and it’s like, wow, you can use that to convey so much information by just a camera move and the actor playing in tandem with it.

 

Louis Virtel I love that you have such specific taste in how you want the vibe on set to be. Do you have any favorite directors who’ve keyed into you and how you like to work? Like, I guess if I were an actor, I would sort of I would be so worried about impressing the director I was working with that I wouldn’t expect them to work with me. And I’m. Has anybody done that for you?

 

Billy Magnussen That. Yeah, that fear is always there. You know, Gabriel Byrne played my dad in maniac, but he, he he brought it up that every new job is first day of school again. And you don’t know your classmates, you don’t know the teacher. And you’re always like, I hope I don’t make like if I have to read in front of class, I’m not I’m not screwed or everyone’s going to make fun of me.

 

Louis Virtel No, I saw Gabriel Byrne on stage in Long Day’s Journey, and tonight he was so fat. People who just walk on the stage and you look at them and gravitas exists. You’re like, I believe the entire life of this person.

 

Billy Magnussen That’s like another colleague that I love. Well, we were talking about directors that I’ve worked with, you know, I would say Jonathan Daly and Jonathan Goldstein, directors that game night, there’s a lot of things for me. I’m, you know, I think uniqueness is your superpower. Like, who you are individually is your superpower. Don’t try to be anyone else. Because actually, that has brought me the most misery in my life, is trying to compare myself to someone else or play something as someone else would play it. And then I was like, would lose myself. But, it was like people always trying to keep me on a leash. In a sense. I was always like, just, just let me mess up. Let me just let me just see the playground. Let me get on it and, like, let me make something exciting happen in there and go from there. But like Cary Fukunaga, John Jonathan, the game name, a lot of colleagues there’s the list is massive. Yeah. But I wanted to bring about like other people you’ve seen on stage where you’re like, God, you just command it. Like, I got the I’ve fortunate the most. The actress I’ve worked with more than anyone. Cristin Milioti I see her on stage and she’s like, God damn it, she is so friggin good. She is just the power she has. Just commanding a stage is is unbelievable. I did get to see in hello, Dolly! Bette Midler do it and stuff like that. Fantastic. With, who else was in. Vanya. Sorry. Masha. Spike. Oh, my God, it’s.

 

Louis Virtel It’s not David Hyde Pierce, or ugh? Yes. You’re sundowning Billy, come back to us.

 

Billy Magnussen Yeah. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We just went into it. Yeah. You just hope or I hope. As a performer. Artist is to work with people that are willing to collaborate and, like, understand, like, we’re all figuring this out in the moment. And, you know, if you do a research or you could do your preparation, but on the day you just got to come, come there and play and be open to seeing where the ball’s thrown, you know, it’s like, that’s why it’s sports are so exciting to watch. For me at least. It’s like, you know, both teams have practiced and there’s there’s the ball. And like you don’t know what’s going to happen. There are rules in it, but there’s magic that can happen during a game where it just you get stunned.

 

Louis Virtel I feel like one of the few movies that has really said something true about social media existence is Ingrid Goes West. As the years go on, it continues to be a relevant movie to me in a way that, like, I think lots of movies try to be. And then this one, the humor of it, the the darkness of it, feel true to me in the way that maybe like a movie like The King of Comedy did Once Upon a Time with Robert DeNiro, did it felt like while you were filming that this movie was hitting something on the head?

 

Billy Magnussen I just remember I feel like if you’re having a fun time, it’s infectious and it like, grows and like, that’s a that’s a really good metric to gauge your, your performance by that film, again, was a small film, and that was all of us coming together. We would lose locations the as we showed up and they’re like, you can’t film here. And you’re like, OSHA, what are we going to do now? And being an ensemble like that, where we’re like, okay, let’s just this pivot, let’s just make something exciting happen. That it had that energy there. So we were just having fun and making the best film we could, making fun of ourselves. That that’s the important thing is sometimes people take this shit too seriously, and I’m like, come on, guys. Like, we’re not. We’re not superheroes. We’re not, you know, curing cancer. We’re just we’re trying to make people enjoy and share a moment with someone. Someone they care about. Like they can share an experience and that’s kind of miss cinema or movie theaters because of that, because it was always an event going to it. You were like, I remember the first time I saw Mission Impossible, it was like with my buddies. Yeah, like when I was a little kid, it was an event because we went to it and it was a thing not sitting at home watching in lots of theaters the same way you go to it, like it’s the dinner before, it’s the watching the performance and then having the conversation after. It’s the whole experience that you get to share with whoever’s close to you in your life. You know.

 

Louis Virtel It’s interesting to me that you seem very kind of annoyed by pretension among maybe your colleagues. And I wonder, does that mean you are annoyed most of the time, like the pleasure is your actual job?

 

Billy Magnussen No, I there it’s called show business and I love the show part, but the business is, again, people are trying to follow in our algorithm now that is in the human spirit isn’t the human connection. And I think when we lose that or the ability to change your perspective and like, observe the world through someone else’s lens, like you kind of lose the magic of what art is. That’s the whole point. Even if you look at a painting or a photo, you’re just looking through someone else’s perspective of the world and it could resonate with you so deeply. It’s not about checking boxes, it’s about how no real connection does that. I don’t know if I just went off on a tangent, but.

 

Louis Virtel No, that was you know, what that was? That was like the best Jerry Springer final thought ever. Like you were just like, and let me take a moment to talk about cinema and where it is and where we are.

 

Billy Magnussen He is not the father.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, last question though. You’re going to be in the upcoming live version of Lilo and Stitch, and obviously you can’t give a lot away about that, but I imagine this is the opposite of making a movie like coup, where there must be stages and stages of pre-production, like layers and layers of preparation that you wouldn’t have to do for any other movie. Can you give us some insight into what goes into preparing for this?

 

Billy Magnussen The. It’s funny. Ride back branch will help produce the film. And I love the guys over there. I was in Aladdin with them, and they have a very great sense. Dan Lin, you was the head of it. Now he’s head of Netflix and stuff like that. But he had, mentality right back. Ranch is that you never leave one of your cowboys behind. You always go back and you ride back and take them with you, so you’re not always going alone. And there was the sense of that on the set of Lilo and Stitch Ohana. It means family, you know? It was a playground. It’s fun. That mood of movie is about fitting in with people and and, you know, feeling like you’re enough as what you are. I, I couldn’t be more grateful working with, you know, Dean and Zach and everyone that ride back ranch and all the amazing talent in that film. Yeah, I lived in Hawaii for three months, and like, I was an alien in a human body. It’s like those opportunities. You’re like, that’s what I get to do today. It’s. That’s candy to me. That’s that’s like a gift. What can I be more specific about about that? I don’t know, I feel so lucky getting just to be a kid and hopefully, like, I think of when I was a kid and I saw a movie like that, that, like, inspired me just to dream, you know? And I laugh and know that this, this whole thing is a game. It’s it’s just fun. It doesn’t have to be as serious. You just get to play. So when it becomes too serious and you’re trying to achieve these fictitious goals, I don’t know. But it gets it hurts me a little bit.

 

Louis Virtel Well, thank you for being such a fabulous interview today. And may you find more collaborators who are as playful as you are. I hope that continues to go well for you.

 

Billy Magnussen I hope so too, man. You know this industry you don’t know. One day you’re doing good and then next day and I don’t know.

 

Louis Virtel You sound like Heidi Klum on Project Runway. Yes, one day you’re in, the next day you’re out. That’s right.

 

Billy Magnussen And you can tell everyone I was smiling the whole time. Surmising. No. Surmising. Yes.

 

Louis Virtel That’s right. What does Tyra speak? Yes. Amazing.

 

Billy Magnussen That’s correct. I was exposing. Yeah.

 

Louis Virtel I try to class up a bit whenever IRA is out of town. But of course, Michelle had to drag me back into the depths of reality dating shows and not even the gay ones. Since this is apparently our Europe episode, she’s going to do her best to indoctrinate me into the world of Love Is Blind UK, which I guess is a thing now. Michelle, you have the floor as you always do.

 

Michelle Collins Oh my God, I just stepped out of bounds and the judges are furious with me. So Louis why I guess is my question before I launch. Do you not watch reality dating shows at all, or are you pure to the genre?

 

Louis Virtel No. My thing is this. It’s just once you get started on one your life, that’s like your job. You have to keep watching them. And I will keep. That’s particularly the genre of show. Or once I start, I will have to keep bingeing it. I just watched I Kissed a Boy, which we’ve discussed on the show, which is the Danny Minogue hosted gay dating show from wherever they found that I’m going to guess like Slovenia, I have no idea. But, I had to watch the whole thing, you know? And I have my shows that are designated watches like Big Brother every year, but even that I can get a little bit behind on because there are so many episodes. So I just I feel quite choosy about it since I am movie oriented. I like things being 90 minutes long, and then our discussion begins, as opposed to I’m stuck in this ongoing saga with the TV show.

 

Michelle Collins I agree with you. Holy. It’s one of the reasons My Cousin Vinny is my favorite movie. 90 minutes on the dot. Your in, your out. Goodbye. I’m going to make you feel good about Love Is Blind UK because I agree with you. Like for example, I would not tell you to watch Love Island even though I did watch it and I liked it. That’s too many episodes for you. It’s exhausting. Even Bachelor I’ve kind of dipped out on. I haven’t watched it the past few seasons because again, 2 or 3 hour long episodes, unless Spike Lee’s directing it, I’m not interested. Okay, that’s what I always say. So love is blind. What’s nice about it is it is. I think it’s 10 or 11 episodes total now do they? That’s it. Do they release them in chunks? Yes. So the first chunk that dropped, let’s say four episodes. So it is let’s call it three hours because they’re like 45 minutes each. But I kind of like that. I feel like that’s doable. That’s not asking too much of your time. That’s like one hung over Sunday like one Thursday at home. You can do it now. Why? I like this show. I prefer British people to Americans any day of the week. Right.

 

Louis Virtel You’re a human being with us all. Yes.

 

Michelle Collins I like to laugh. Yeah. I love a bit of flag to do. You know what planter is? It’s flirty banter. Flatter. They say flower, but I feel like it’s a little too deep for this. This crowd. Maybe. But, I love I love British men. Not all of them, but many of them. Many of them have drinking problems. And they all have daddy issues. This is what I’ve, like, spent a lot of time in England. I’ve dated a lot of British men. They have a lot of daddy issues and pub issues. That being said, they are always down for a laugh and British women are absolute messes. They look old, but in the best way. I go there, I’m telling you that I look terrible if I can’t afford Botox, I go to England and I’m like, oh, perfect, great. I fit.

 

Louis Virtel Right in right where I needed.

 

Michelle Collins Five years off, five years off. So the, you know, the concept of love is blind. Like, how deep do I have to go? Because I feel like most listeners do now, I bet.

 

Louis Virtel You’re acquainted with somebody that you only can hear, and then eventually you choose to marry them and you meet them after the, that takes place.

 

Michelle Collins After they’re, like, engaged. Here’s the thing with with the show and the American one is hosted by Nick and Vanessa Lashay. The one here is, I think Matt and Emma Willis are their names. The hosts, very good looking married couple. Like, they never have. Not hot people on the show. Once in a blue moon. They will. And I feel bad for that person because I think the assumption when these contestants go on is that even though we can’t see them, they’re not going to be dogs, like they’re still going to be fairly attractive, telegenic.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins Exactly. There are some in the British version because that’s just England in general that don’t pass muster to me. I’m going to add, though, that I think that the men are much hotter on the UK version than the American version, but that’s just, again, my preference and who I find hot. But there’s just an element. It’s that Hugh Grant fetish thing of just humor, accent, a bit of class. They dress a little better. I don’t know how to put it.

 

Louis Virtel Also, I just want to say on that front how important Hugh Grant is as a celebrity in that way, because nobody ascended to the heights in America the way he did while keeping that droll bastard thing. Like, we never really got that from like, a fines or something, you know, it was like him specifically that brought that to, like, not just that one episode of Jay Leno, which, by the way, is unbelievable to watch in retrospect. Divine.

 

Michelle Collins Brown.

 

Louis Virtel But just any interview he does and also, yeah, just Divine Brown. And also, I know you like this too. Tough interview, but probably a really good one if you’re ready for it.

 

Michelle Collins Let me tell you, when I went fucking crazy, when people got mad at Hugh Grant, when he had that interview with Ashley Graham. Ashley, who was a lovely person, I’ve interviewed her. I’m sure you have as well. She gorgeous beauty, etc. not everybody’s meant to do red carpet interviews. I think we all know that that’s true. I love Ashley and she’s actually not bad at it, but. He was not having it. And I’ll be honest with you, I love Ashley, but I was on his side and I felt it was very unfair that he got given shit for being rude, when in fact she wasn’t even responding to him. I mean, it was just like they had no chemistry whatsoever. He was trying to be funny. She wasn’t receiving it and it made him look bad. It’s the truth.

 

Louis Virtel People don’t understand that when you’re on a red carpet like that, too. I mean, this seems somewhat elementary, but when you have an earpiece, like you have a whole different, like set of brain functions going on where you’re listening to one person telling you to wrap it up or move it along or whatever. So you kind of can’t get wrapped up in the dynamic of the conversation sometimes, but you have to make it look that way, and you have to find a way to make the conversation organic. And when he’s serving up that, you know, droll bastard Lee thing requires some slide line deliveries back. And it’s I could see being confused in that situation. But he’s, I think an amazing interviewee. So I have to say I was on his own too.

 

Michelle Collins I’m his biggest. Yeah. So I mean, he could do no wrong. He actually could have been the biggest asshole. And I’m like defending him. Like, you know what? Whereas Ray finds was once kind of rude to me. And see, I’m not necessarily defending Rafe. Interestingly enough, I hope he’s not the guy I know coming.

 

Louis Virtel Still thinking about him in regards to the Barbra Streisand memoir, where they almost had a romance or something, I forget why, but she became Barbara becomes fascinated with a new star every once in a while. You know, when she had her Pete Sampras moment and her whatever moment? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He was like, around Mia has to face time. They almost had some sort of something occur.

 

Michelle Collins Is that right?

 

Louis Virtel Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins I only got there like a third of that book before I looked like.

 

Louis Virtel Which is 777 pages. It’s like Finnegans Wake. Why did you even start? Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins I think long white beard. It was like in a topknot. I’m like, well, I’m, I’m going go back. I’m going to just back out for two seconds of this. Anyway, I feel like, am I selling the show? I feel like I’m giving like a lecture on it, but it is just some of the junk is people. Here’s some how I’m going to sell it to you. What are you are you single now? What’s your story?

 

Louis Virtel Oh, yes. I take to my life like Tomb Raider. I. It’s just me with Uzis blazing, and we’ll see what happens. Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins Okay. You know what was very similar? Between us, actually. And then. In a good way, though. Yeah, I feel.

 

Louis Virtel Socially Uzis blazing. Yes.

 

Michelle Collins Yeah. Uzi does it. And I think that’s what they say I’m going to absolutely end the interview. I’m ending it. Actually, I’m going to go. Well, I’ll tell you that watching a show like Love Is Blind makes you feel good about your choices in life, who you pick to date, who you decided not to date or what have you, or who perhaps even rejected you down the line. And then you realize for the best. And obviously there’s all straight couples. It’s it’s men and women dating each other. But, you know, a lot of assholes out there, men and women, it’s even, I would say, between the two. But just watching Absolute Lunatics and these are people who want to be on television, whether you like it or not. And they’re all cut. They all have abs. They’re very annoying. But because they’re not American, I think it’s easier to get into a show like that because you don’t feel, shame in the same way as, like, for example, when you’re watching The Bachelor and you’re just like, how can we be this stupid? How can are people? Whereas for the Brits, it’s like almost charming because you’re like, well, this has no reflection on me whatsoever.

 

Louis Virtel That is entirely true. Because when I watch something like The Bachelor, I mean, like, it’s not quite that you relate to them, but you’re just like, I’ve met this kind of person 10,000 times, so it almost feels not special. So when I’m seeing these people on shows like that, there’s more for me to kind of key in. To have a question for you about The Bachelor, which is do you think it lost something with Chris Harrison not being there?

 

Michelle Collins Listen. You know, I knew Chris back, back in the day because I worked with The Bachelor a little bit. He was always nice to me. I don’t think the show needs a host at all.

 

Louis Virtel Right. It is. It’s always been a little weird that it was oriented around that a little bit.

 

Michelle Collins It to me, what it felt like with Chris and certainly with Jesse as well. And like Jesse again, a nice guy. I have nothing against either of these men. They’re lovely people. But, I mean, Chris obviously made a huge mistake and then paid the price for it, but it did feel like with them, when they show up, I’m literally just watching someone collect their SAG health insurance and their check. I’m like, there’s no reason for these people to be here other than ABC feeling the need to just write a big old fucking check to some white guy. That is how I not to generalize in that way, because it seems a bit simple minded. But that is, as a host myself and someone who I’ll obviously kill to do that show. They bring nothing to it. There’s no humor. There’s no, you know, what are they? What is Jesse? Forget Chris. What is Jesse Palmer bringing to that job? Literally nothing. I mean, I.

 

Louis Virtel Always talk about how people underestimate the thing Ryan Seacrest has to do, which is have no personality. And also occasionally some, like, you know.

 

Michelle Collins Things that.

 

Louis Virtel You will. You and I both stand Pat Sajak, perfect example of somebody who moves it along, has the dialog down to the word he would never stumble over explaining the somewhat complicated rules to Wheel of Fortune. But then every once in a while, a line slips in there where you think you’re just a fucking dick to me, maybe. Or like, but also like prime wet, very witty person.

 

Michelle Collins Pat Sajak is one of the funniest working comedians. Today I will go to my grave saying this. He no one makes me laugh more than Pat Sajak.

 

Louis Virtel Is so funny.

 

Michelle Collins He’s so funny. And guess what? Keep his politics out of it. Don’t do. I mean, I know already, I don’t care. He is someone who I’m like, I don’t want to know. You know, I’ve heard bad things also about Trebek. I mean, everyone has shit I don’t want to know about Pat Sajak politics. He’s not telling me who to vote for. He’s telling me what letters are on a big light up board, and he’s making stupid people feel bad. And that, to me, is American. That is the beautiful thing. I’m going to miss him so much, Louis. I’m so heartbroken.

 

Louis Virtel By the way, who’s left? We haven’t discussed this on the podcast yet, but Pat Sajak now is coming back to host Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. What is going on there? Did he get bored in retirement? Did Vanna ask for him back? I have so many questions, by the way. I work on pop culture jeopardy! So I probably could just ask somebody, but I would rather jeopardize my own job and ask about it here.

 

Michelle Collins Okay, I’m not even going to answer your question. I’m going to make this about me. Great. Can you please get my ass on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune? And poor people say anything before people say anything. You know me well, Louis. What I ever say that I’m a celebrity? I’ll literally eat Alpo out of the can on the floor. You know me. I have no ego. I will eat dog food with my fingers out of a can. But when I see, let me finish. When I have seen some of the people they have had on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, I think we can both agree I am in the mix.

 

Louis Virtel Right? Your beloved personality? Yes.

 

Michelle Collins Yes. I’m like, well, you know Joe, the policeman from the What’s Going Down episode of That’s My Mama Coming to America reference. But that’s what they have on it. So I’m like, I don’t want to like, throw anyone under the bus, but I’m just like, please put a good word in for me because it is literally my dream to be on that show. And in fact, when he retired, I thought, I can’t believe I missed it. I can’t believe I missed being on that set with Pat. And I’m like, no, you know what? God is real because he’s giving me this is my chance, right?

 

Louis Virtel Right. This last moment. Yes, I probably won’t happen.

 

Michelle Collins But anyway.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, I’ll do my best.

 

Michelle Collins Congratulations on jeopardy, by the way.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, well, you know, it’s like a dream job for me. And also like you’re a jeopardy! Stand to.

 

Michelle Collins Love jeopardy! Yeah, I love all game shows.

 

Louis Virtel It’s the most consistent half hour of TV. I’m always surprised when, like, considering game shows, loving game shows is considered niche when I can’t imagine putting one on and not watching the entire half hour. It’s like the utterly most addicting TV.

 

Michelle Collins Do you know that my neighbors almost had a wellness check on me about six months ago because I think I was sick, or I was jetlagged or something, and I stayed up all night. I have Paramount Plus here in Netherlands, like with a VPN, watching all the episodes of The Price Is Right that I hadn’t seen, but for hours and fast forwarding the games I don’t like. I mean, if anyone was watching me from outside, it’s like 91 and the what? Like, I mean, waiting to call just hours and hours. And by the way, I’ll dip into let’s make a deal sometimes two depending on the game. Like I Wayne Brady is a phenomenal host.

 

Louis Virtel Oh he got here he said also. Oh my god. Rare case of somebody who he is a great game show host, Emmy winning game show host. And then he won also for Whose Line Is It Anyway? And then also has like a Grammy R&B nomination, like truly one of those like hyper talents where we just think like we put him in this Howie Mandel box of just kind of belongs on TV, but he can do anything. Which, by the way, have you thought about Howie Mandel recently? Why is he like the richest person on TV? And he was on sang elsewhere for ten minutes in the 80s. What else? What’s going on?

 

Michelle Collins Bobby’s world. Right. My crazy I mean, hello, Howie Mandel again. Someone I’ve interviewed could not be a nicer guy. Wayne Brady as well is so nice. I mean, these guys really do have it, but I’ll bring it up. Here, and I’ll use this as a platform to get eyeballs. Where are the female gameshow hosts, and why will America not trust a woman with a game show? You had Meredith Vieira on 25 words, the last known lay remedy. Yeah, they’re both good, but they’re given like the Byron Allen slot. You know, they’re not given that prime time. Elizabeth Banks I’m thinking like who who has been given the

 

Louis Virtel No, there’s been honor. Recently Keke Palmer won the Emmy for password, but that’s a bit of her that is blue rare. That, women host game show was, like, the first person to win the Emmy for game show was Betty White in the 80s. And obviously, that wasn’t her primary vocation. But you’re right. I mean, like when they were looking for the the new host of jeopardy! After, Alex died, I feel like none of I mean, Mayim Bialik eventually did get one of the slots, but, like, they kind of look past people like Katie Couric, who is amazing. Robin Roberts was fabulous.

 

Michelle Collins Love her.

 

Louis Virtel And you’re right, it’s like there’s a I think there’s a quality of the game show host has authority and it’s like a funny woman or something. There’s like an ego check that has to happen for a certain kind of audience member to dial into somebody like that 100%.

 

Michelle Collins And let me also add Keke Palmer, one of the great talents of our generation and funniest. I am obsessed. Makes me hopeful, actually. Like, oh, there is talent, you know, like.

 

Louis Virtel In the old fashioned way. Like she’s somebody who would be a panel panelist on the original Match Game, you know.

 

Michelle Collins A literal brilliant talent. Okay. Who cares about Love Is Blind? I’ll talk about we’ll all day. I mean, like, literally now I’m like, you know, I don’t watch it. Yeah. Talking about it, I’m like, honestly, I don’t even know why I’m watching it. It’s just good. I, I as someone who dates quite a bit and just like I like to see who’s out there, and I like to see that I know at least as a single woman, we are all living a very similarly shared experience when it comes to narcissistic men and, being treated badly and being taken for granted and all of these things. So to see it kind of happen to people who, for the most part are like undeserving and very lovely and I don’t know, there is something very cathartic, I think about it. For me personally, I don’t know if you would feel the same way.

 

Louis Virtel I am. I’m definitely going to watch it. Please, anything that you care about, I should care about. Similarly.

 

Michelle Collins I don’t believe you. I’m gonna put lipstick on.

 

Louis Virtel Okay, guys, here.

 

Michelle Collins Just so you know.

 

Louis Virtel When we are back, our favorite segment of the episode, it’s Keep It. And we’re back with our favorite segment of the episode. It’s Keep It. I’m going to go ahead and start. I’m feeling celebratory. My keep it this week is to Joaquin Phoenix, who, by the way, I do love as an actor. I can’t say I’ve loved most of the projects he’s done over the past ten years, and I’m still so mad that that movie is called Come On, Come On. Why is it called that? It’s such a bad title and he’s really good in it. And anyway. And he also did Bow Is Afraid, which was good for three minutes. And then it was this other thing. But anyway, he now is in the middle of a bizarro saga where he was supposed to be in the new Todd Haynes movie. Todd Haynes, the director of Far From Heaven and Carol and poison. Like not only movies that are good movies you should care about, there’s a lot going on in these films. But it was supposed to be a new and somewhat explicit gay romance that Joaquin Phoenix was going to star in. And in fact, he brought the project to Todd Haynes and producer Christine Vachon. And then at the last minute days before filming completely dropped out, left investors in the hole, left everybody scrambling. There was a moment where they were considering finding another actor to do it, but they did it. And the project is scrapped now. And the rumor is that he got cold feet before filming, you know, this explicit gay movie or whatever. I don’t think I have ever been more disappointed in an actor in the past. However many years. Truly certain murders would disappoint me less than this. How can you bring the project as and be excited about the prospect of it, and then suddenly consider your play Senator, what you have to also, it’s just it’s such conventional homophobia. It’s so like from the era when we were so thankful to Jake Gyllenhaal for picking a gay movie, we were so thankful he would do that for us and be quote unquote brave on screen. Remember that controversy or like, brave that Jared Leto would be in Dallas Buyers Club, etc. and you just would think somebody who is this esteemed, this like Yale level, this able to do whatever, like the whole point of him being an artist is that he will take on, a project. You wouldn’t expect him to do that. This would stop him is just so shocking, and there’s no other word for it depressing. It is such a depressing news story to me. And also, anytime we get Todd Haynes making a movie, it’s such good news again. It’s like, even if you didn’t love May-December, you’re never getting another May-December again. Like, if you’re into that movie, you can only watch that movie. It doesn’t have any peers. So, I am just so surprised and disappointed. And I don’t know what you think of this. Michelle.

 

Michelle Collins Well, I want to pose a question. Do we think we’ve gotten the full story?

 

Louis Virtel No. And I do have to say, it feels like everybody is jumping to this is why this is happening. And you’re right. I don’t know what’s happening. But at the same time, the movie is not coming out. So something is very strange. Yeah, that’s very true.

 

Michelle Collins Well, I agree with that. I do, I like Joaquin, honestly. My favorite turn of his was as the son of Diane Wiest in Parenthood.

 

Louis Virtel Which has off. Are you a Martha Plimpton stand, too? I fucking love Martha Plimpton.

 

Michelle Collins Well, Parenthood’s one of my top ten favorite movies of all time, and I’m really more of a Wiest fan. Yeah, some might even say I have a Weist infection. I just came up with that.

 

Louis Virtel Okay. Blanchett’s interview last week. She talked about being obsessed with Diane waste. So no kidding. Running fame? Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins You know, they look alike almost a little bit. Kate and Diane. Okay.

 

Louis Virtel You can also picture Kate doing bullets over Broadway. Like, that’s kind of her. Oh, yeah.

 

Michelle Collins Be and standing is a rock in Madison Square Park. Where I happened to see Diane was perform about two years ago.

 

Louis Virtel One of the weirdest things that’s ever happened. Yes. It’s like Beckett or something.

 

Michelle Collins Yeah. Yes. That’s right. Yes. Beckett. Well, where was I? Totally forgot. I’m like a rock. I sort of like she’s dressed like a big rock. I didn’t remember what she was talking about. I don’t really. I’m not a huge Heinz person. I get his talent. His movies are a bit slow for me overall, and that’s okay. But I don’t think it’s right if, in fact, we are getting the full story that, like, I leave some hanging without. At the very least, I imagine insurance has to cover some of that money if we’re just going to talk from a financial perspective. Otherwise he’s going to go to court. I mean, I don’t see any way out of it in that sense. But I wonder what happened. Part of me feels like either he had like a mental breakdown. I mean, we don’t know if the right personally he’s going through something where he just cannot film something. Right now I’m just posing things, you know? So I would hope that, Joaquin doesn’t burn any more bridges because I’m invested. I’m invested. I don’t really care, but.

 

Louis Virtel Yeah, yeah. Rooney Mara, come and help us out. Just like just a line. Whatever.

 

Michelle Collins Oh, I forgot, there are a couple.

 

Louis Virtel Yes. Interesting couple you don’t hear much about. It’s one of those, like, Michael Fassbender Alicia Vikander thing. What’s going on there.

 

Michelle Collins Love? One of my favorite couples. And you know, she’s so rich Rooney Mara like goodness, right?

 

Louis Virtel No. Like disturbing money with all that. Yeah. Football which is in American sports. Google.

 

Michelle Collins Go on.

 

Louis Virtel Right. Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins Tell me more.

 

Louis Virtel Turn on the television. It’s all over the place. Michelle, what is your keep it this week?

 

Michelle Collins So funny story. As per usual, I didn’t prepare anything but while listening to you. Yeah, I was inspired because I think we were going to maybe talk about this anyway, but, I keep it is I don’t give a shit about the it ends with us controversy in and I just I maybe I’m coming off as a hater now because like the Todd Haynes thing too, I’m like, okay, you know, maybe I’m not a cinema person. And even though I consider myself like a movie buff, but I have never read a Colin Hoover book. I didn’t know anything about the woman, to be honest with you. I’m not. You know, I feel like there’s a particular person who likes that, and that’s completely fine. It’s not my go to beach read, I would say yes. So all of a sudden, finding out that there’s this controversy. And then, of course, because I want to be ahead of the news and understand what’s going on, all of a sudden, I’m finding myself googling Justin Baldoni, who gives a shit about this person who, like, genuinely, why are we being made to care about this controversy? And I’m genuinely asking. I know that it’s a huge book number one movie. I know in the UK, probably in the US as well, but I don’t know, it was something Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds do very little for me. They don’t bother me. They’re just not two people that I personally, again, I’m invested in and I don’t know. How do you feel about it? I kind of the rumor is so people don’t know that they’re not speaking to Justin, but no one knows why. So the director, the director and also actor in it, I believe he plays like the abusive husband. And yeah, here I am on Wikipedia reading the plot points for it. And so that’s I don’t care, right? Why am I being forced to care about this thing when no one even knows what happened?

 

Louis Virtel No. Right. And yeah, there’s allegedly a schism between the cast and Justin Baldoni, and there was one cut of the movie that he made. And I think maybe there’s a version that Blake approved that was maybe not as good as the original version, but now that’s the one that is in theaters. And apparently there were two different premieres where he had one and she had another. Anyway, it’s like, don’t worry, darling, where you’re like more curious. You’re going to see the movie because you want to get clues about this other thing you’ve heard about, as opposed to being invested in whatever the movie was about. And in the case of Don’t Worry, Darling, it is a complete waste of time.

 

Michelle Collins One of the worst movies in my whole life I’ve ever been forced to watch on a United Airlines Boeing jet. I can’t even believe I watched it, to be honest. Don’t worry, darling was awful.

 

Louis Virtel No. And also, it’s one of those movies that fools you because it’s like Florence Pugh. Why would you sign up for this? You know, so it’s like you went in in denial. Like there must be something to this movie.

 

Michelle Collins More like Florence Pugh. If you cut that out, I’ll never do this show. If you edit that out, I will never set foot in this studio.

 

You are Gene Shalit. You’re my Gene Shalit. Yes.

 

Michelle Collins That is so horrible comparison. The same waxer. A same like, you know, the body hair situation on par. But yeah, I don’t know that. That just did not. And then part of me starts to worry about me. Like, maybe the keep it is about me, Michelle Collins. Like, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is really good gossip and interesting and I’m, you know, not, I don’t know, maybe I’m just too old to care about. I don’t know what it is, but it just did not turn me on.

 

Louis Virtel The only thing that is kind of interesting to me about this is apparently because Deadpool and Wolverine and this were number one and two in the box office. It’s been 34 years since a couple shared the first two slots at the box office. This is important for you and I. You could be on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and Patches brings it up. You know, because I don’t know, maybe there will be a trivia portion of that episode and, Bruce and Demi were the last people who this was a case with. I believe this was ghost era to me. So imperial to me.

 

Michelle Collins Let’s not go comparing America’s king and Queen Bruce Willis and Demi Moore to Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. I mean, they’re talented. I’ve nothing against them genuinely. Like, if I did, you would know. But they just don’t. They don’t turn me on. I’ll tell you why. Whereas Bruce and me. Right. Very much on board.

 

Louis Virtel Oh he’s a danger to Bruce Willis and always some a little rage behind the eyes with Demi which I always I will.

 

Michelle Collins She’s absolutely the most stunning who’s ever walked the planet. Totally. He is so hot with that. Listen, I’m like you go back and you watch Die Hard three. I’m all about the third. The third.

 

Louis Virtel This is diagnosable. I’m concerned.

 

Michelle Collins Diet with a vengeance. The best diet along with Terminator three. The best Terminator. Listen, I’m making points. People don’t want to accept these points, but they are all true. I love Bruce was also so funny. You know, right now, humor does not do it for me. I’m just. I’m so over this, like, sarcastic, close eyed. You know, his eyes are touching. I’m just not. It’s not for me. It’s not.

 

Louis Virtel I love the humor of Deadpool. There’s no other way to put it. Is Cards Against Humanity. It’s like 2012. We’re all congratulating ourselves for saying raunchy bad words. It’s just not that exciting.

 

Michelle Collins Oh, God, you always nail it. How do you do it every week?

 

Louis Virtel I know it’s so tiring too. Yeah.

 

Michelle Collins It’s exhausting.

 

Louis Virtel You know, it’s like. It’s like archery in the Olympics, you know? And I mean, like, my my bow arm is strained.

 

Michelle Collins Yeah. Not wait not to dip back into the Olympics, but two quick things about it, which you reminded me. One is shall we start a rifle team? Because I don’t think America had one, ironically. And also I’m like. I don’t have to be fit to do this. Fantastic. Dan, you and me. Oh, yeah. Olympics.

 

Louis Virtel I don’t know, you get to look fierce. Like the camera angle is just like. Watch me line this up and I look like you. Don’t you know how, do you remember the pool player, Jeanette Lee, the black Widow? Like how every time she lined up the shot, it was like, bam! And she was dressed in, like, skintight pleather all the time. Anyway, that’s. This would be me as a rifle. Just go on.

 

Michelle Collins We would look so hot. And also, hottest guy at the Olympics. And again, come for me, I don’t care. Is the Turkish shooter. If you want to know my type that Turkish everyone. So I mean how cool he looked. I’m like no he’s like fucking hot. Like, let’s not stop dancing around the issue here. Okay? So I just want to let everyone know. And I looked him up and apparently he had a bad divorce and likes cats.

 

Louis Virtel Oh, let’s get in there looking.

 

Michelle Collins Good for me.

 

Louis Virtel The ingredients are there.

 

Michelle Collins Yeah, he’s a bitter divorce. Say I’m listening. You talking.

 

Louis Virtel Michelle, thank you so much for being here. You are. I mean again it’s not just that you’re hilarious. It’s that you’re so energizing and knowledgeable and cool is like cool. Remember when people were cool as opposed to like, you know, brat summer annoying. Like you are a cool person. So thank you so much for bringing it.

 

Michelle Collins That’s actually the nicest. No one is literally to my face, definitely behind my back, but not to my face called me cool. So thank you. That means the world to me, I adore you, I’ll come back anytime and please come to my show. I mean, I know you’re busy, but I would die to have you play.

 

Louis Virtel Where are you performing next?

 

Michelle Collins Well, I have a tour in September. It’s really fun. I sing in it. I’m, husky because I lost my voice. But I am a fabulous singer. I’m at 54 below in New York on September 5th and seventh. Then I go to Boston, Philly, Cincinnati, Saint Louis, Nashville. And I think I think that’s everything, actually. Oh, and Alexandria, Virginia. So right outside of DC. Oh my gosh, great shows there. So fun. I had the first leg of the tour back in, May, and the shows were just fucking great. And I sound cocky, but for a reason. They really were good. So get your tickets, go to Michelle Collins Live.com. They’re cheap. And, I mean, have I sold it or what? I’m like, they’re dirt cheap. Best show in America.

 

Louis Virtel Look at you touring the South. I was getting green book vibes for your for your bookings. How exciting.

 

Michelle Collins Oh, my God, that’s hilarious. Like, how dare you compare me to green? I mean, we’re in a huge fight after all those nice compliments. That’s how you end it. Okay. Noted. Yeah. And also, I have a daily show that I really want you to come on at Patreon.com Smash Call.

 

Louis Virtel Which is one of the great shows, one of the great hosts we have. And that’s all we’ve got for this week. Thank you, Billy Magnussen, for being here. And we’ll see you next week. Don’t forget to follow Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You can also subscribe to keep it on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content. And if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review.

 

Ira Madison III Keep It is a Crooked Media production. Our producer is Chris Lord and our associate producer is Kennedy Hill. Our executive producers are Ira Madison III, Louis Virtel, and Kendra James.

 

Louis Virtel Our digital team is Megan Patsel, Claudia Shang, and Rachel Gaieski. This episode was recorded and mixed by Evan Sutton. Thank you to Matt DeGroot, David Toles, Kyle Seglin, and Charlotte Landes for production support every week.