TARIFF MAN STRIKES AGAIN

Donald Trump’s decision to smack hefty tariffs on America’s trading partners has already caused damage and chaos. Apparently, he’s just getting warmed up.

• “Liberation Day” is here, and the only ones celebrating are MAGAworld die-hards, and anyone who actually wants to turn the stock market into a smoking hole in the ground. President Donald Trump spent the afternoon rolling out the details of his much-hyped tariff plan, including a baseline 10 percent rate and higher figures for so-called “bad actors” like China (34 percent), Europe (20 percent) and Japan (24 percent). Stock futures tanked, of course, because this whole idea is sheer economic lunacy.

• This day “will forever be remembered as the day American industry was reborn, the day America’s destiny was reclaimed, and the day that we began to make America wealthy again,” Trump announced from the White House Rose Garden.

• Economists warn that negative consequences are coming: “Consumers, manufacturers, businesses, they can expect some pain — and certainly in the stock market, too,” Alex Jacquez, an economic policy expert who advised former President Joe Biden in the White House, told What A Day. Tariffs are a tax, and slapping them on willy-nilly is expected to cause inflation and slow down economic growth.

• The true, long-term impact of Trump’s tariffs remains TBD — in part, of course, because he often changes his plans at the last minute. But all the threats and uncertainty have already caused pain. They’ve helped knock $4 trillion in value off the stock market, slash global economic growth prospects, raise the odds of a recession, and piss off America’s closest friends. The European Union and Canada warned that they have “a strong plan” for retaliating against U.S. tariffs. Mexico plans to respond tomorrow. China, South Korea and Japan pledged to act  in tandem to fight back. America’s allies are so mad that they’re teaming up with China!

• Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is trying to hand out chill pills, privately telling lawmakers that Trump’s tariff rate is a ceiling — which can be negotiated down, CNN reports. That’s in line with the president’s stance that tariffs should be used as some kind of negotiating tool to punish or reward countries he likes.

There’s also a simple math problem with Trump’s plan: It won’t cover his beefy tax cuts, which are estimated to cost about $4.5 trillion.

• Peter Navarro, one of his top aides, boasted that the tariffs will raise $6 trillion within 10 years. The Congressional Budget Office, however, puts that number closer to $800 billion. “It will raise some money,” economist Marcus Noland told CNN. “But it won’t raise enough money to pay for the tax cuts.” I think you added a couple extra zeros, Peter! Classic mistake.

• The Trump administration’s erratic behavior is fueling Americans’ negative view of the economy, Jacquez said. That’s putting a damper on consumer spending — a key economic driver. Trump’s actions today will only make things worse. “Not sure what’s going to happen tomorrow, not sure what’s going to happen next week — that’s not a good environment to be making big ticket purchases, like buying a house or buying a car.”

Any attempt to make economic sense of Trump’s tariff plans is a waste of time, writes economist Paul Krugman . “There’s nothing to explain. I’m not saying that the Trump team’s thinking is unsound. I don’t see any thinking at all.”

CHEESE MAN DOWN

o is American democracy for sale to any multi-billionaire with a few million to spare? Last night, Wisconsin voters responded with a resounding fuck no! 

And suddenly Democrats, who’ve been downright depressed ever since Donald Trump won last fall, have a new spring in their step.

Democratic voter intensity powered liberal Susan Crawford to a resounding victory in the Badger State’s contentious  Supreme Court race. She won by a whopping 10 points in a state that Donald Trump carried by less than a percentage point.

“yo @elonmusk maybe you shouldn’t have showed up to wisconsin man, i think people hate you there,” leftist commentator Hasan Piker tweeted at Elon Musk, the technofreak who wasted $20 million campaigning for the conservative candidate (and gave away two $1 million checks while prancing around on stage wearing an actual goddamn cheese hat).

Musk tried to play it off, saying he “expected to lose, but there is value to losing a piece for a positional gain.” I don’t know, man… even Republican leaders think it would’ve been better if you stayed home and shut your big cheese-hole.

There was more good news for Dems, too. Two Republican lawmakers in Florida won special elections  last night — but by much smaller margins than usual. These elections suggest a tide turning against MAGA: “Republicans everywhere know a reckoning is coming — Democrats are taking the majority in 2026,” Democratic National Committee Chair Ken Martin said in a statement.

Yesterday, this newsletter wrote that a result like this would be bad for Musk. Today, Trump told his inner circle that Captain Cheese Hat won’t remain in his White House role for much longer, Politico reports.

Adding to all the liberal hype this week, Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) broke the record  for the longest speech on the Senate floor in history, speaking in protest of Trump for 25 hours straight.

Whether Booker’s stunt is meaningful in any real way is up for debate. But Democratic lawmakers and voters are loving the energetic show of defiance… and we’re all impressed by (and slightly worried about) his preparation for not using the bathroom.

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Israel plans to expand its military operations to “seize large areas” of the Gaza Strip, Defense Minister Israel Katz said. It’s still not clear which areas will be affected, but the announcement comes two days after Israel ordered the evacuation of the southern city of Rafah. More than 1,000 people have died since Israel broke its ceasefire with Hamas two weeks ago, according to Palestinian health officials.

National security adviser Mike Waltz’s team set up at least 20 Signal chats to discuss issues including Ukraine, China, Gaza, Middle East policy, Africa and Europe, Politico reports. “Waltz built the entire [National Security Council] communications process on Signal,” one source told the outlet. Waltz hasn’t sent me a single classified war plan yet, and honestly I’m starting to feel left out.

The fallout from the mass firings at the Department of Health and Human Services grows clearer: A doctor who led award-winning research on Parkinson’s disease was purged. The office overseeing bird flu response was gutted. “Americans will suffer, and people will die,” Wendy Armstrong, director of infectious diseases at the University of Colorado, told the Bulwark. America is about to be soooooo healthy… I can probably afford to start huffing glue again!

The White House is studying how much it would cost to take over Greenland, the Washington Post reports. That analysis includes estimating the financial burden of providing services to the island’s 58,000 residents — WHO DON’T WANT TO BECOME PART OF THE UNITED STATES!!!

A federal judge permanently dismissed New York City Mayor Eric Adams case, ruling that the charges against him can’t be refiled in the future. The decision caps one of the most remarkable legal imbroglios in American history: Trump’s Department of Justice sought to save Adams from serving jail time on corruption charges, presumably in exchange for his cooperation on immigration enforcement. Since the charges can’t be refiled, however, Trump now has less leverage over Adams.

Tesla sales dropped 13 percent in the first quarter of this year compared to last year, a symbolic dumpster fire often attributed to Elon Musk’s toxic political positions. Speaking of garbage, Tesla has about $200 million worth of Cybertrucks collecting dust in storage rooms somewhere, because no one wants to buy them. Gee, maybe it’s because the metal panels keep falling off, or all the other problems with them?

The Naval Academy removed almost 400 books from its library as part of the Trump administration’s diversity, equity and inclusion purge. Boy, it really feels like we’re living in a crossover of “1984,” “Fahrenheit 451,” and “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Where was it again that folks gathered up all the books the government didn’t like and got rid of them in a high-profile way? Funny, I can’t remember.

Ben & Jerry’s co-founder Ben Cohen is working to line up enough investors to buy the brand from Unilever, its parent company, which has been accused of trying to stifle the progressive ice cream brand’s social mission. It’ll be a rocky road, but I hope this saga ends with a peaceful banana split (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

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