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What A Day: Quality crime with friends

Steve Bannon delivers remarks at the Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland, United States on March 3, 2023. Stephen Kevin Bannon is an American media executive, political strategist, and former investment banker. He served as the White House's chief strategist in the administration of U.S. president Donald Trump during the first seven months of Trump's term. The Conservative Political Action Conference is an annual political conference attended by conservative activists and elected officials from across the United States and beyond. CPAC is hosted by the American Conservative Union (ACU). The first CPAC took place in 1974. (Photo by Kyle Mazza/NurPhoto via AP)

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Steve Bannon delivers remarks at the Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland, United States on March 3, 2023. Stephen Kevin Bannon is an American media executive, political strategist, and former investment banker. He served as the White House's chief strategist in the administration of U.S. president Donald Trump during the first seven months of Trump's term. The Conservative Political Action Conference is an annual political conference attended by conservative activists and elected officials from across the United States and beyond. CPAC is hosted by the American Conservative Union (ACU). The first CPAC took place in 1974. (Photo by Kyle Mazza/NurPhoto via AP)

ARRESTED DEVELOPER

Trump’s legal trouble dominates the headlines. But his supporting cast of criminal liars, fraudsters and crooks face reckonings of their own.

  • Like a headline act on tour, disgraced former president Donald Trump boasts a more impressive list of alleged felonies than any of his disreputable backup dancers. But all together, they make a remarkable spectacle: There’s so much alleged crime going around in MAGA world these days, it’s easy to lose track of who’s locked up, who’s out on appeal, who’s back from jail to rejoin Trump’s campaign, and whose old lies for Trump have come back to haunt them now.

  • Take Steve Bannon, Trump’s former White House advisor and authoritarian-podcaster, whose bid to stay out of prison was finally rejected today by a federal appeals court. The decision means Bannon could soon start serving his four-month sentence for flouting subpoenas from the congressional Jan. 6 committee, if he can’t slow that down with one more urgent appeal. It could even mean Bannon will still be in jail in September, when he’s scheduled to go on trial for far more serious charges in New York City over his alleged scam charity, “We Build the Wall.” Imagine being so wrapped up with your last set of crimes, you barely have time for the next!

  • Michael Cohen is set to testify against Trump in the hush money trial on Monday. Cohen’s expected to recount how he and “Mr. Trump” engineered a scheme to falsify payments and business records in order to hide Trump’s dalliance with Stormy Daniels from voters and tax authorities. Cohen went to federal prison over parts of this very scheme, and the defense will attack him as a guy who told criminal lies… which, of course, is very true! Prosecutors will likely point out that Cohen’s lies were all about helping Donald Trump. The worst reason of all!

  • More liars for Trump in the news! Like a bad penny we can’t get rid of, convicted (then pardoned) money launderer Paul Manafort is reportedly rejoining Trumpworld, with a role managing the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee. Then there’s Trump’s old trade advisor, Peter Navarro, who is clamoring ineffectively to be released from his own prison sentence for ignoring Jan. 6 committee subpoenas. Trump’s longtime finance chief, Allen Weisselberg, might just be allowed to leave Riker’s Island (where he is serving time for lying in another legal case on Trump’s behalf) so he can testify in Trump’s current criminal trial. Trump’s former White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows, and longtime lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, were recently indicted with others in a fresh 2020 election case in Arizona. Dumb-guy corruption loves company!

Trump’s favorite people seem to be constantly cycling back and forth between courtrooms and the Trump campaign. It’s like a big game of musical chairs… except the music is crime!

- Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC), who once said Trump’s legacy was “wiped out” by the Jan. 6 insurrection, before flip-flopping and endorsing him.

NEWS NEWS NEWS

A long-awaited U.S. government report concludes it’s “reasonable to assess” that Israel has used American weapons in ways that harm civilians “inconsistent” with international humanitarian law. But the report stops short of accusing Israel of violating the law. The assessment says Israel hasn’t shared complete information about its use of weapons in the Gaza war. It also accuses Hamas of “deliberately” using civilians as human shields. But the report, required by law for all recipients of U.S. military aid, also says it can’t reach definitive conclusions on the legality of several Israeli strikes, including the one that killed workers for the World Central Kitchen. The report was widely expected to sharply criticize Israel’s tactics in Gaza, without triggering legal tripwires that would tie the White House’s hands. And that’s exactly what it appears to do.

Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-TX) is facing an Ethics Committee probe over whether he used campaign funds to pay for a private club. Jackson, a former White House physician-turned-MAGA ranter, last gained attention for winding up in handcuffs after launching a profanity-laced rant at police officers at an Amarillo rodeo.The GOP really is sending their best.

Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) is going to war with her former staffers, who left her office in droves last winter. Mace is making the odd claim that her ex-aides tried to sabotage her by hacking into her calendar and signing documents on her behalf  otherwise known as “congressional staffer duties.”

A convicted Jan. 6 rioter is up for election in next Tuesday’s GOP congressional primary in West Virginia. Derrick Evans, who’s a former state lawmaker, was sentenced to three months in prison for his role in the Capitol riot. He’s running against an incumbent Republican for a House seat. Damn, if only there were something in the Constitution that protected us from insurrectionists holding office!

Meanwhile, a former Capitol Police officer who fought rioters on Jan. 6 is also up for election Tuesday. Harry Dunn is running in the open-seat Democratic primary Maryland’s 3rd congressional district stretching south of Baltimore.

Disgraced former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani was suspended from his own daily radio show for refusing to stop talking about 2020 stolen election conspiracy theories, whichWABC owner John Catsimitidis could no longer tolerate. The show was the only discernible source of income for Rudy, who filed for bankruptcy after two court judgments totalling nearly $150 million. Being extremely dumb and corrupt really is a tough combination!

Barron Trump won’t be a delegate to the Republican National Convention after all. Following news that Donald Trump’s youngest son had been selected as an at-large delegate from Florida, Melania’s Trump says Barron has “prior commitments.” Hopefully the commitment is to not getting involved in his dad’s undemocratic bullshit.

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