POLAR PRICING
Donald Trump’s kamikaze-style attack on America’s trade partners raises the risk of a global recession. And why the hell is he slapping tariffs on uninhabited Antarctic islands covered in penguins?
- Penguins have never done anything to the United States — or, at least, nothing to warrant a punitive tax on their exports. In fact, despite their formal attire, penguins simply aren’t known for conducting commerce with the U.S. That makes President Donald Trump’s decision to slap tariffs on Heard Island and the McDonald Islands, Australian territories inhabited by penguins and not by, y’know, any people… downright baffling.
- Yet the reason for Trump’s penguin tax may be as obvious as it appears: His sweeping tariff plan makes no goddam sense. That’s the conclusion of all mainstream economists and, of course, the stock market, which melted down this morning in a fiery detonation spectacular enough to shame the Chernobyl nuclear reactor. Today was the worst day for U.S. stocks since the depths of the COVID crisis in the summer of 2020. And the stock market is crashing because investors are preparing for a global recession.
- Trump is literally doing the opposite of what he was elected to do. Lots of people voted for Trump because they were mad about inflation and worried about the economy. Ironically, these moves are widely expected to drive up inflation and kneecap economic growth, creating a deadly pattern known as “stagflation.”
- Trump, who suffers from a severe case of brain-rot, is trying to spin all this carnage as a good thing. “THE OPERATION IS OVER!” Dr. Trump declared on Truth Social this morning. “THE PATIENT LIVED, AND IS HEALING. THE PROGNOSIS IS THAT THE PATIENT WILL BE FAR STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, AND MORE RESILIENT THAN EVER BEFORE.”
- Yeah… no. This ain’t Grey’s Anatomy. And, unfortunately for us, this operation is hardly “over.” It’s likely to get worse before it gets better. The job losses have already started. Carmaker Sellantis announced 900 layoffs today at U.S. locations supplying auto plants in Canada and Mexico, thanks to the tariffs.
Even Trump’s tariffs on small island nations come with negative consequences for the U.S. when you look a little closer.
- Consider the British Indian Ocean Territory: The area is only occupied by U.S. and U.K. military personnel at the remote Diego Garcia base. (The main export is fish, predictably.) Two days ago, Trump signed off on a deal that would see the U.K. hand over the island chain located there to Mauritius, a small east African nation, while still allowing the base to operate for the next century.
- “It’s particularly bizarre, given that the British government is currently negotiating the future life of a military base that the U.S. military has long said is important,” David Vine, an expert who wrote a book about the base, told What A Day. “Why would you want to piss off your friends who are negotiating the long-term life of something you want? I wouldn’t be surprised if folks in the Pentagon were hitting their heads when they saw this.”
Trump’s public meltdown has lasted all day: “I think it’s going very well —The MARKETS are going to BOOM,” he wrote in another post. Yeah, they’re going BOOM for sure! KA-booooom!
OK, LOOMER
Is Elon Musk being replaced by… Laura Loomer?
That’s what I’m wondering after news broke that Loomer, a far-right conspiracist known for her horrifically racist tendencies, reportedly convinced Donald Trump to fire three members of his National Security Council, aka people tasked with working on U.S. foreign policy.
Trump fired the staffers this morning, one day after he met with Loomer in the Oval Office. She reportedly showed him a list of people whom she deems disloyal. Loomer reportedly attacked the character of several members… in front of national security adviser Mike Waltz, who has been in hot water for “recklessly” sharing sensitive information on the Signal messaging app.
The news shocked current and former Trump administration officials who spoke with me today. And not because of the firings — but because of the influence Loomer has over Trump. And it’s a bad sign for Waltz.
“This shows Waltz’s diminishing power, if he was overruled and has lost the ability to have final say on his staff,” a former Biden NSC official told What A Day.
It’s also surprising that Loomer was able to gain such direct access to the president. Pod Save America co-host Tommy Vietor, who was an Obama NSC spokesperson, put it this way:
“How on earth does a fringe lunatic like Laura Loomer get a 30 minute meeting with Trump to advocate for changes to his national security team??? This is a woman who called 9/11 an inside job,” he wrote on X.
Musk is reportedly departing from his high-powered role in the White House soon. I bet we’ll see more nutjobs fill the void.
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NEWS NEWS NEWS
The Pentagon’s acting inspector general is launching an investigation into Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s use of a private Signal chat to discuss strikes on Houthi rebels in Yemen. God forbid men have hobbies! (I’m joking, this was incredibly stupid.)
The Education Department threatened to withhold funding from public schools, including those with many low-income students, unless they comply with Trump’s radical diversity, equity and inclusion measures. Just incredibly cruel stuff.
Tufts University issued a declaration of support for graduate student Rumeysa Ozturk, who was arrested by immigration agents while walking to a Ramadan iftar dinner outside Boston last month. The school has “no information to support the allegations” the Trump administration has made about Ozturk supporting the Hamas militant group, Tufts President Sunil Kumar wrote. Take note, colleges, it’s time to stand up for your students!
About half of the ICE detainees Trump touted in the early days of his presidency were already in prison, according to the Washington Post. Basically, the White House has tried to make it look like they’re snatching really dangerous criminals from the streets, but that’s not always true.
New York City Mayor Eric Adams will leave the Democratic Party and run for reelection as an Independent. “I have been this racehorse that has been held back,” Adams told Politico. I dunno, aren’t you the corruption horse that’s been jumping around in the bribery mud? Or do I not understand horse metaphors….
Remember when Trump beefed with Gov. Janet Mills (D-ME)? Well, that had consequences: The acting head of the Social Security Administration privately called Mills a “petulant child” and ordered two data collection contracts to be terminated as punishment — knowing that the move could increase fraud, the Washington Post reports. Glad we have mature adults running the country!
Billionaire fashionista Mark Zuckerberg is lobbying Trump in an attempt to avoid an antitrust trial that his company, Meta, could face later this month, the Wall Street Journal reports. Come on Don, remember that $1 million check I gave you?, I imagine Zuckerberg pleading, on the edge of tears, while the president maniacally laughs and presses his Diet Coke button… again.
The U.S. banned government workers in China from having romantic or sexual relationships with Chinese citizens. A blanket policy like this has been unheard of since the Cold War, when hot spies were famously used to infiltrate adversaries. Come on, let them live a little.
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