President Donald Trump speaks at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach, Fla., Tuesday, Feb. 18, 2025. (Pool via AP)
VODKA MORONIC
Trumpâs bumbling efforts to end the war in Ukraine could have dangerous consequences, anxious Ukrainian officials and people close to President Volodymyr Zelenskyy tell What A Day.
- Some of President Donald Trumpâs highest-ranking officials met with their Russian counterparts in Saudi Arabia today, the first time the two countries have met to discuss an end to Moscowâs three-year-long invasion of Ukraine. Notably absent from the talks: Ukraine⌠along with anyone from the European countries that have spent over a hundred billion dollars defending Ukrainian independence. This is playing out in the wake of Vice President JD Vanceâs recent petulant speech berating Europe for, he claimed, abandoning its own values. Altogether, these moves have poured gasoline on Washingtonâs relationship with Europe and set it on fire, leaving the foreign policy world wondering: What exactly is Trumpâs strategy here?
- âThere is no strategy,â a person close to Zelenskyy told What A Day, after the U.S.-Russia talks wrapped. Thatâs the general feeling in Ukraine right now: The Trump administration is abandoning Kyiv in an attempt to speed up the process and end the war quickly, no matter the consequences. Secretary of State Marco Rubio urged Ukraine not to believe the evidence of its own eyes on this issue, insisting to reporters today that âNo one is being sidelined.â Itâs a preposterous falsehood â and the Ukrainians arenât buying it. This, surely, is the road to Trumpâs coveted Nobel Peace Prize.
- Cutting out Ukraine is a âhuge mistake,â a second person close to Zelenskyy told me. The Trump administration âwants to make a very quick diplomatic success.â But Russian dictator Vladimir Putin can outlast Trump and simply wait for what he wants, the person explained, because there are no real elections.
Meanwhile, Trump is also trying to shake down Ukraine for billions worth of rare earth minerals â without offering anything in exchange.
- Trump has long voiced his frustration with the amount of support the United States has given Ukraine to help it, you know, not become absorbed into Putinâs authoritarian empire. Trump, a self-styled dealmaker, made a proposal to Zelenskyy last week: Give me $500 billion worth of resources from your country â from oil and gas, to rare earth minerals that could be used to build Teslas. The deal would amount to âeconomic colonization,â the Telegraph writes. Itâs as if Trump is demanding Ukraineâs lunch money, then pushing the country onto the playground with the bully anyway.
- The U.S. is also calling for Ukraine to hold presidential elections, which Russian officials suggested was necessary before any peace talks could progress. (There havenât been any elections since the invasion began due to martial law⌠and Russia has tried to assassinate Zelenskyy multiple times.) Holding elections before a peace deal is finalized would be âbeyond dangerous, a third person close to Zelenskyy told What A Day.
- âThe U.S. national interest is for any agreement to be lasting and sustainable. Political chaos in Kyiv wonât achieve that,â the person said. âInstead, it could lead to multiple centers of authority, dissolution of the Ukrainian military, and the emergence of countless militias in Ukraine that continue their resistance to Russiaâs invasion. An Afghanistan in Europe â thatâs what we could see materialize.â
- The world order has shifted over the past month, Oleksandra Ustinova, a key Ukrainian lawmaker, told What A Day in a call. The U.S. canât necessarily be relied upon anymore: Ukraine can win âif Europeans step in seriously,â she said. âBut they literally have to understand that this is their war ⌠I just hope we have enough time for them to kind of do something.â
Trumpâs new foreign policy mantra is becoming clear, according to one Washington Post columnist: âScrew the rest of the world, allies and adversaries alike.â
TOP DOGE BAG
The âDepartment of Government Efficiencyâ has been slicing up the federal workforce for weeks now⌠and apparently Elon Musk isnât even the real DOGEbag in charge. So whoâs running the show?
No one! according to the White House.
Musk isnât the leader of the made-up department â heâs not even technically an employee, according to a White House court filing from last night. âLike other senior White House advisors, Mr. Musk has no actual or formal authority to make government decisions himself,â the filing reads.
Awesome, love the transparency. This twist comes as DOGE continues firing thousands of federal employees and seeking access to taxpayersâ data. The quasi-real bureaucracy also forced out the Social Security Administrationâs top official after she refused to give them access to millions of Americansâ sensitive data. Meanwhile, Musk is busy tweeting at Crookedâs Jon Favreau.
Federal workers who have been suddenly fired (for no legitimate reason) are feeling demoralized about whatâs to come.
âIt took me so long to even get here and get some modicum of what I thought was stability,â one Department of Energy worker, who was fired weeks after starting her job, told What A Day. âNow it feels like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me.â
Others are using the opportunity to rally the resistance: âKeep your heads up, do good where you can. Shine light on the injustices you see, and speak up even when circumstances are challenging,â one Environmental Protection Agency worker wrote in an email to colleagues after being fired, obtained by What A Day.
The email continued: âAt the end of the day, no one can take away your spirit, your passion, and your dedication⌠your character. Godspeed. Good luck. We will get through this.â
Have you been affected by DOGEâs actions? Hit me up on Signal at 413-726-4767, or on email at whataday@crooked.com.
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âHe wants to impose his freak experiments and play-act as God.â
â Steve Bannon on Elon Musk, calling him a âparasitic illegal immigrant.â
NEWS NEWS NEWS
Israel said it agreed to begin talks with Hamas about ending the war in Gaza. Hamas also pledged to release three living hostages as part of the ongoing cease-fire deal. These types of deals have fallen apart numerous times over the past year, but things seem more promising right now. (I hope?)
A top federal prosecutor in Washington D.C. resigned after she was ordered to investigate the Biden administrationâs EPA for spending money on climate initiatives. Her departure follows an emerging trend of career attorneys â Republicans and Democrats â resigning after Trump officials asked them to take unethical actions for their own political ends. Man, you canât even do corruption unimpeded anymore, because of woke!
The CIA has expanded the number of secret drone flights over Mexico, used to track drug cartels and hunt for fentanyl labs. The programs began under the Biden administration, according to the New York Times. We will do our best to keep these flights secret now that everybody already knows.
Thousands of U.S. soldiers have arrived at the southern border to stop the influx of migrants â but agents have only been apprehending about 50 people a day, much lower than the 5,000 migrants who would cross the border daily in 2023.
The president of New York Universityâs College Republicans club resigned after making a hilariously gentle criticism of fellow student Barron Trump, which rubbed other members the wrong way. Barron is âsort of like an oddity on campus,â she said. âHe goes to class, he goes home.â The College Republicans national organization freaked out and called her comments âinappropriate.â Snowflakes, much?
Pope Francis reportedly doesnât think heâs going to be around much longer, due to his latest hospitalization. Heâs rushing to cement his legacy as a progressive pope, before his successor is chosen: The Trump administration has âalready influenced European politics, theyâd have no problem influencing the conclave,â a close observer of Vatican politics told Politico. âThey might be looking for someone less confrontational.â We hope they donât find anyone who fits that bill. Pope Francis 4evr.
The Trump administration pulled actress Julianne Mooreâs book about a kid having freckles from schools⌠for no clear reason. âI canât help but wonder what is so controversial about this picture book that caused it to be banned by the US Government,â Moore said. Freckles are now DEI!!!! âWhite people with freckles, welcome to the resistance,â one X user joked.
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