DRUG-SNIFFING DOGE

Elon Musk’s drug use has been far more “intense” than we knew, including ketamine, ecstasy and magic mushrooms, according to a new bombshell report. Go figure!

• Gazillionaire Elon Musk is famous for acting… downright weird. In the past few months, he’s made headlines for bouncing up and down like a child during a Trump campaign rally, swinging a chainsaw above his head, tossing up a Nazi-like salute, and sometimes staring into oblivion. His fans think he’s a quirky tech genius. But there may be another explanation for so much erratic behavior: A shitload of heavy drugs!

• On the campaign trail, he took so much ketamine — sometimes mixing it with other drugs — that it affected his bladder functions, according to the New York Times. “The line between medical use and recreation was blurry, troubling some people close to him,” the outlet reports. He traveled with a box containing about 20 pills, “including ones with the markings of the stimulant Adderall,” and popped ecstasy and mushrooms at private events, including one in a foreign country, according to the paper.

• Musk brushed aside the report during an Oval Office appearance beside President Donald Trump on Friday afternoon, simply refusing to talk about it. When a Fox News reporter tried to ask Musk about the story, he interrupted. “The New York Times… Is that the same publication that got a Pulitzer Prize for false reporting on the Russiagate?” Musk said. “Let’s move on.”

• The event had originally been scheduled to commemorate Musk’s official departure from government service. So, instead of clearing up this bizarre story, Trump handed Musk a golden key to the White House, and Musk complimented Trump on his golden Oval Office decor… and they pretended like this whole thing was just NBD.

Musk’s fondness for illegal drugs has been reported on before, and he has been open about using ketamine to treat depression. But this report suggests his intake coincided with making some big, controversial decisions.

• For example, Musk decided to start handing out $1 million checks on President Donald Trump’s campaign trail. Still, it’s unclear if that drug use bled into his official time in the government, when he ran the so-called Department of Government Efficiency and orchestrated the firings of tens of thousands of employees, according to the Times.

• “This is all activity and behavior that you might expect from someone who’s overprescribing,” Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-MA), the acting ranking member on the House Oversight Committee, told What A Day. “We wouldn’t let someone drive their own car under that influence — and here we are with someone who is at the very top of our government, has access to a lot of critical and classified information, has the power to go into IRS files, Social Security files.”

• Democrats on that committee are using the news to re-up a previous request for documents on Musk’s security clearance, conflicts of interest, and drug use. And there’s a sliver of hope that Republicans might be more willing to hold Musk accountable now: “They’re less protective of Musk than of Trump,” Lynch said. “I think now, even some of my Republican colleagues realize that this guy is off the rails.”

Ketamine, of course, is also a drug used to make horses chill out. After all this, comedian John Mulaney needs to redo his famous standup routine and rename it: “There’s a Horse (Tranquilizer) in the Hospital.”

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Trump officials knew that more than half of the 238 Venezuelan migrants flown to El Salvador last month had no criminal record, but deported them anyway, ProPublica reports. Only 32 of them had been convicted of crimes in the U.S., mostly nonviolent offenses like traffic violations and retail theft, according to government

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records. The White House’s response? “The American people strongly support” Donald Trump’s immigration agenda, a spokesperson said. Fact check: No they don’t!

Would Trump pardon Sean “Diddy” Combs, the music mogul who’s on trial for racketeering and sex trafficking allegations? “I would certainly look at the facts,” he told reporters in the Oval Office. Well, that’s unnerving. (Combs has pleaded not guilty.)

The Supreme Court allowed the Trump administration to revoke a Biden-era order that temporarily protected some 500,000 migrants who fled their countries due to war and political turmoil. Remember when Trump accused Haitian migrants of eating cats? Now, it could be easier to deport those people, as well as Venezuelans, Cubans and Nicaraguans.

Trump blasted China for having “totally violated” a deal to pause tariffs on each other. “So much for being Mr. NICE GUY!,” the president ranted on Truth Social. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is acting like the only adult in the room: “I would say that [talks] are a bit stalled,” Bessent told Fox News. “I believe that we will be having more talks with them in the next few weeks.”

Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-MI) said Trump told her that he wouldn’t pardon the men convicted of plotting her kidnapping in 2020. A month ago, “we had a thoughtful conversation about it, and he said he’d drop it,” Whitmer said. This week, Trump said he would “take a look at” pardoning the men. Apparently, he’s really taking a look at being a lawless tinpot dictator.

Someone hacked the personal phone of White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles and has been messaging senators and top business leaders, the Wall Street Journal reports. The impersonator reportedly asked for a list of people to be pardoned by Trump, and in at least one case, a money transfer. Susie’s next title? Nigerian prince.

Trump criticized Leonard Leo, a conservative activist who helped shape the conservative Supreme Court using his Federalist Society organization, as a “sleazebag” who “probably hates America.” The growing rift between the two could cause Trump to choose more inexperienced right-wing nutjobs (like Emil Bove, his personal lawyer) for judicial nominations. What’s next, Judge Pennywise the Dancing Clown?

Speaking of mind-numbing appointments, Trump nominated 30-year-old lawyer Paul Ingrassia — a former right-wing podcaster who represented notorious sexist douchebag Andrew Tate — to lead the independent watchdog agency that oversees federal employees. He once likened Tate to “the embodiment of the ancient ideal of excellence.” This dude also advocated for far-right dirtbag Nick Fuentes… even writing a Substack article supporting him.

I joked yesterday about Trump officials using AI to put together the so-called Make America Healthy Again report. Welp, experts say that’s probably what happened. “That’s shoddy work,” one artificial intelligence expert said. On the other hand, our nation’s least-motivated college sophomores say they find this approach extremely relatable.

MAGA Rep. Greg Steube (R-FL) introduced a bill to change the name of Washington, D.C.’s metro to the “Trump Train” (I am not kidding, he really did this). The overall system would go from WMATA to WMAGA (“Make Autorail Great Again”). Just imagine being a federal worker in D.C. who got laid off by Elon Musk, then having to ride the “Trump Train” around town. I wonder if these people ever get tired of the taste of Trump’s boot.

Trump has been using more and more spiritual rhetoric ever since his near-assassination last year, leading one reporter to ask around: Does Trump think he’s… God-like? “I think he does believe he was saved to do great things as president,” said Stephen Mansfield, who wrote a book about Trump and religion. “I think he does believe that he is a tool of God.” Well… he is some kind of tool, that’s for sure.

Moms know the hustle is real. With work, kids, errands, and everything in between there’s rarely time to slow down, let alone figure out a 10-step skin care routine. But no matter how busy life gets, your skin still deserves more than just the basics. That’s why we love today’s sponsor OneSkin.

Their products are true multitaskers. They hydrate, protect, and support your skin’s long-term health. And it’s all thanks to their OS-01 peptide. It targets the cells that accelerate the visible signs of aging, like wrinkles, thinning skin, and a dry, dull complexion.

OneSkin supports the skin at a deeper level, so even if I’m running on fumes, at least my skin gets what it needs. Try their cleanser, moisturizers, sunscreens, or their new peptide scalp serum (because, you know, scalp health is skin health) and get 15% off with the code WAD at oneskin.co. For moms who do it all, now there’s a skin routine that does it all too.