May 16, 2024 | What A Day Newsletter

What A Day: Commander-in-beef

FILE - President Donald Trump, left, and Democratic presidential candidate former Vice President Joe Biden speak during the debate at Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn. on Oct. 22, 2020. President Joe Biden and Trump have agreed to participate in two general election debates: One in June and one in September. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky, File)

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DISS TRACKS

We’re suddenly weeks away from the earliest presidential debate in U.S. history. If that seems unusual, you’re right — in more ways than one.

It’s starting to feel like everything is beef these days. The mega-rap-star-showdown between Drake and Kendrick Lamar has already inspired one Biden-Harris ad, using Lamar’s diss track, “Euphoria.” On Wednesday, President Biden dared disgraced former President Trump to debate with a schoolyard taunt: “Make my day, pal.” Now the old boys are set for June 27, three months earlier than usual. Biden’s tight timeline leaves him all summer to recover if he flops, before round two on September 10. But it also feels like this rumble is coming on faster than anyone was ready for. So what’s with the rush, fellas?

Just like the Drake-Kendrick beef, there’s plenty of speculation about each side’s motivations. Biden’s bravado may actually be a sign of concern. Recent New York Times polling shows him behind in five-out-of-six key swing states. He needs a way to shake up this race. Trump, equally excited to throw down, may be eager to redo his disastrous performance in 2020, when he yelled out of turn, interrupted the moderator, and shredded decorum to the point of incoherence. He may also be looking for a way to change the subject if a Manhattan jury finds him guilty in a few weeks.

Biden jeers, Trump sneers. Are we doomed to suffer the tabloidization of politics? These guys are vying to be President of the United States, not climb the Billboard charts. Sure, lots of people find beef entertaining. But there are real stakes here. Reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and voting rights are being stripped away. Two major international wars have claimed tens of thousands of lives. One candidate stands accused of serious federal felonies. It would be downright refreshing to have a big-boy discussion about actual policies and issues that impact American lives.

Let’s just hope the Biden campaign doesn’t have him walk out on stage to Kendrick’s “Not Like Us,” please.

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NEWS NEWS NEWS

Nearly a dozen MAGA faithful including Reps. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) and Matt Gaetz (R-FL) took more time away from working for their constituents to appear in Trump’s courtroom. The internet dunked on Boebert for attending Trump’s criminal trial, but not her son Tyler’s recent court date. Apparently blood is not thicker than that sweet, sweet MAGA juice.

Judge Juan Merchan is reportedly growing annoyed with the sideshow. The prosecution asked him to stop the entourage from entering court in the middle of questioning. We will all be very glad when this spectacle is finally over… which it will be. Hopefully. One Day. We think.

The House Judiciary Committee advanced an effort to hold Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt of Congress Thursday after the White House refused to give up an audio recording of President Biden’s interview with the special counsel about his handling of classified documents. The White House seems to think Republicans want to take the audio, chop it up, and distort it for political gain. And, of course, they do. But voting to hold Garland in contempt effectively means asking Garland to arrest himself. Good luck with that one, fellas!

The North Carolina Senate voted to ban anyone from wearing masks in public for health reasons… as if the state isn’t still reporting hundreds of respiratory virus cases weekly including COVID-19! Republicans want to crack down on protesters in masks, accusing them of abusing pandemic protection to hide their identities. We know this is really just part of the GOP’s freaky little crusade against masks that is now entering its fourth year.

Cardi B is doubling down on revoking her support of President Biden in a new Rolling Stone interview, and to our disappointment, making a public stance that she is not voting for either candidate this year! Never thought we would see the day we disagreed with the iconic rap star but she has to “Be Careful” with her words and her influence. Sorry Cardi, we don’t like it like that.

A far-right Missouri secretary of state candidate might end up getting sued by rapper Lupe Fiasco for using his music in a diabolical ad featuring homophobic slurs. The ad shows candidate Valentina Gomez randomly running with an armored vest on before she blurts out: “In America, you can be anything you want. So don’t be weak and gay. Stay hard.” She even adds an F-bomb in there for good measure. Not sure what wearing a bulletproof vest for no reason and calling people gay has to do with being Secretary of State but hey, we’re not the *freedom* experts.

Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX) said he will pardon a former Army sergeant convicted of fatally shooting a Black Lives Matter protester, citing the state’s “Stand Your Ground” law. A review board recommended Daniel Perry’s release after he was originally sentenced to 25 years in prison last year. Court records revealed Perry regularly shared racist memes and threatening content on social media, and now he will be back out on the streets thanks to Abbott. Perry’s firearm rights were also restored. Another winning day in Texas government!

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