What A Day: Cohen down swinging | Crooked Media
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What A Day: Cohen down swinging

Michael Cohen leaves his apartment building on his way to Manhattan criminal court in New York, Tuesday, May 14, 2024. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

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Michael Cohen leaves his apartment building on his way to Manhattan criminal court in New York, Tuesday, May 14, 2024. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

CRISS-CROSS COHEN SAUCE

Trump’s attorneys spent the day bashing Trump’s former-fixer-turned-nemesis, Michael Cohen, on the witness stand. It wasn’t pretty.

  • Lawyers for disgraced former President Donald Trump seemed to relish their chance to assault the credibility of the key witness against their boss in the ongoing Manhattan hush-money trial. Trump lawyer Todd Blanche dove in immediately, asking Cohen about the time he called Blanche a “crying little shit” on TikTok. Cohen admitted that sounded like something he would say (fact check: true!). Blanche threw more shade at Cohen, grilling him about social media remarks and contrasting Cohen’s recent Trump-ire with his past adoration. Blanche blasted Cohen as an infamous and convicted liar, while Trump “listened” on with his head back and his eyes closed.

 

  • This trial is drawing near a close — and not a moment too damn soon. Cohen is the final witness for the prosecution, meaning prosecutors may rest their case as soon as Thursday. Next, Trump’s defense gets to call witnesses, if they have any. Trump once said he’d take the stand himself, then waffled about it. He’s done this two-step before: Promise big, then wimp out.

 

  • Outside of the courthouse, Trump’s minions gathered to say the kinds of things that the judge has barred Trump from saying in a formal gag order. The most notable visitor: U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), who called the case an illegitimate sham, but never entered the courtroom. Others included Senator J.D. Vance (R-OH), Governor Doug Burgum (R-ND), and former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy. New loyalty test alert!

 

Trump’s appeal to end the gag order was denied Tuesday morning, just as his MAGA faithful were mustering outside the courthouse to talk big into microphones on his behalf. But that, surely, was one big coincidence.

NEWS NEWS NEWS

The Biden administration told Congress it plans to move forward on a shipment of more than $1 billion in new weapons for Israel, the Wall Street Journal reported on Tuesday, citing unnamed officials. The latest shipment includes over $700 million in tank ammunition and $500 million in tactical vehicles. The Biden administration has stressed its opposition to an Israeli assault on the southern Gaza city of Rafah over fears of a humanitarian catastrophe, but has so far only withheld a single shipment of 2,000-pound bombs.

Gov. Tate Reeves (R-MS) signed a new anti-trans bill Monday that bans transgender people from using bathrooms, locker rooms, or dormitories that do not correspond to their sex assigned at birth, or risk being sued. Reeves has already banned trans athletes from competing in women’s sports and banned gender-affirming care for minors.

Secretary of State Antony Blinken got on stage during a surprise visit to Kyiv and played guitar for a cover of Neal Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World.” The idea, seemingly, was to reassure Ukrainian leaders that the U.S. still supports their war against Russia, a few weeks after Congress approved a delayed $60 billion aid package. Is this what they teach in the School of Foreign Service?

Meanwhile, President Biden signed a bipartisan bill Monday that bans Russian imports of enriched uranium, the main fuel used by nuclear power plants. Russia accounts for more than a fifth of U.S. nuclear fuel, but Biden is looking to cut financial ties with the Kremlin. The bill, which allocates $2.7 billion for domestic uranium, was held up for months by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) while he threw a tantrum about some of his provisions getting nixed in the defense bill. Shocker. Don’t hurt yourself working so hard for America, Ted!

The Arizona Supreme Court agreed to delay enforcing the state’s 1864 near-total abortion ban until late September, which could bump the law from ever going into effect. Gov. Katie Hobbs (D-AZ) signed a repeal earlier this month, but it won’t go into force before a stay on the ban is lifted, which would have potentially left a small window of time for Republicans to get doctors thrown in jail for performing abortions. Sorry, fellas, we know you really wanted to!

House Democrats opened an investigation into Trump’s disgraceful meeting with oil executives, in which he reportedly begged for $1 billion in campaign donations in exchange for axing dozens of Biden’s environmental policies.

Rudy Giuliani has been ducking his indictment by an Arizona grand jury last month for allegedly trying to overturn Trump’s loss in the state, and has yet to be served. Prosecutors reportedly made multiple attempts to hand the former U.S. attorney his summons, but have been unable to reach him in person or by phone. Maybe they should try summoning him from the underworld.

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