SMALL DICTATOR ENERGY

The Trump administration is teaming up with a crypto-dictator to buck the Supreme Court. Where will this end?

• El Salvador President Nayib Bukele, 43, often looks more like a kids’ soccer coach just about to start screaming at the referee than an authoritarian mastermind. But he’s fast becoming one of President Donald Trump’s new besties — and, unfortunately for us, is now playing a key role in undermining the rule of law in the United States.

• That’s because the El Salvador president has become instrumental in the single most unsavory act of the White House’s anti-immigration agenda, which involved flying hundreds of migrants with no criminal record to the Central American country without due process. On Friday, the Supreme Court ruled that the Trump administration must “facilitate” the return of a Maryland father who was accidentally deported to Bukele’s mega-prison. But Trump’s team is arguing that they don’t have to actually bring him back… unless Bukele wants that to happen.

• And Bukele doesn’t. Instead, he’s making a mockery of the court, with the smug, self-satisfaction of a third grader insisting the dog really did eat his homework every day for the past month. “The question is preposterous … I don’t have the power to return him to the United States,” he said during their meeting. Uh, he imprisoned nearly 2 percent of his country’s adult population — the highest incarceration rate in the world — so I think he has the power to release one innocent person!

• Trump seems to downright enjoy renditioning people to foreign dungeons, and apparently wants to expand the process. “Home-growns are next. The home-growns. You gotta build about five more places. It’s not big enough,” Trump told Bukele before their meeting, in video footage caught by the El Salvador government’s livestream. What are “home-growns?” Probably American citizens born here.

Bukele, who loves crypto and likes to call himself “the world’s coolest dictator,” is a rapidly rising star in the MAGA universe. His budding bromance with Trump doesn’t bode well.

• “Both present themselves as successful businessmen, outsiders, and disruptors, capitalizing on social discontent,” Ariel Dulitzky, director of the Human Rights Clinic at UT Austin, told What A Day. They both also don’t seem to care much about human rights violations, he added.

• Bukele loves cryptocurrency so much that he made El Salvador the first country to treat Bitcoin as legal tender. Trump’s family is rushing into crypto, and some experts worry that the president may be cribbing from his friend’s playbook: “There are a lot of parallels with where the United States is going in crypto policy, and where El Salvador has gone and flamed out in the recent months,” Amanda Fischer, former chief of staff of the SEC under Biden, told What A Day. “Americans should have great cause for concern in looking at the Trump-Bukele alliance on crypto.”

• Bukele has mastered the art of dealing with this particular American president: “Trump likes to be flattered, and Bukele is one of his biggest fans,” Benjamin Gedan, a former director on the White House National Security Council, told What A Day. Sometimes, making friends is as simple as complimenting someone and offering to lock up their political enemies, I guess.

One big difference between the men: Bukele is viewed as a strong, very popular leader in his country, despite all the terrible things he has done. Trump… not so much.

GAME OF GROANS

Will Don Jr. get a reality show devoted to sending him into the wilderness to shoot at innocent woodland creatures, as if he were an even less competent Elmer Fudd?

Apparently, he might — thanks to his dad’s attacks on big media companies, which have prompted some execs to wonder what they can do to keep the Trump’s happy.

Last night, Donald Trump called for CBS to lose its license and “pay a big price” after “60 Minutes” ran segments that bashed his plans to take over Greenland and end the Russia-Ukraine war.

Like the orange snowflake he is, Trump couldn’t handle the bad press: “Almost every week, ’60 Minutes’ … mentions the name ‘TRUMP’ in a derogatory and defamatory way, but this Weekend’s ‘BROADCAST’ tops them all,” he ranted on Truth Social.

It’s unclear whether Trump’s Federal Communications Commission will actually go after CBS. But FCC Chair Brendan Carr has wasted no time investigating media companies. Some media giants are taking notes… and trying to cheat the Trump test.

A representative of Warner Bros. Discovery recently asked people in Trump’s orbit for advice on how the company could “advantageously interact” with the president, journalist Michael Wolff writes in New York Magazine. The answer?

“Look at the example of Amazon and Jeff Bezos paying Melania Trump $40 million to participate in a documentary about herself,” Wolff writes. “Don Jr. might like a hunting and fishing show on the Discovery Channel, they were told. And that CNN could have more pro-Trump voices.”

I wonder what he’d call his show. Shame of Thrones? Sad Men.

NEWS NEWS NEWS

The State Department found that there’s no evidence connecting Tufts University student Rumeysa Ozturk to antisemitism or terrorism, despite ICE agents detaining her in broad daylight. So… they’re literally admitting she did nothing wrong, but want to deport her anyways? Jeesh.

Donald Trump said there will be no exemptions on tariffs… even though some electronics from China were excluded from his 145 percent tariffs on the country. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick and Stephen Miller, Trump’s cartoon villain top aide, both said there will be exemptions. Seriously: What the hell are these guys doing???

An Israeli airstrike destroyed parts of the last full functional hospital in Gaza City on Sunday. No one was killed in the strike, but a child died during the rushed evacuation, according to local health officials. Meanwhile, a new photo analysis shows that Israeli forces very likely killed a European aid worker and five others in Gaza last month.

A 38-year-old man who allegedly broke into Gov. Josh Shapiro’s (D-PA) house during Passover and set fire to the residence also planned on beating the politician with a hammer, according to new court documents. Cody Balmer, the suspect, is facing charges of attempted homicide, terrorism, aggravated arson and aggravated assault.

Boris Epshteyn, Trump’s personal lawyer who doesn’t work in the government, has been negotiating the Trump administration’s deals with big law firms that the president views as hostile, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The Education Department’s financial aid system has suffered outages and phone call delays, making it harder for college students to access much-needed information. Well, that’s what happens when you literally cut the agency’s staff in half! Efficiency at its finest, once again.

Trump is “fully fit for duty,” the White House physician said after the president’s annual physical. If we’re to believe the numbers, Trump has the rock-solid physique of an NFL running back and the cardiovascular health of a lion. I mean, what else did you expect.

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