Trumpers have told a lot of lies, but one of the most foundational is that they are at war with you: coastal, Hollywood, globalist, elite liberals. That’s just what they tell their supporters. In reality they crave your approval. Celebrity power couples, NBA coaches, producers for Stephen Colbert, trendy party goers, New York Times op-ed writers, White House Correspondents Dinner after-party invite list managers, Gridiron Dinner attendees, I know you are out there—I saw your Instagrams.
And the most terrible thing about it is you usually give it to them.
It happened again when White House Communications Director Hope Hicks resigned abruptly last week, and liberal tastemakers memeified the departure of someone they are certain to welcome back into their good graces—as if she didn’t know what she was getting herself into when she jumped aboard the Trump Train. She’s not a former model who did her best. She’s a grown woman with agency who chose to tell “white lies” for Donald Trump long after he became the birther-in-chief.
And it’s not just her. Nearly all of these Muslim-banning, white nationalist-coddling, wall-building, sexual assault-defending, race-baiting pieces of human garbage want to come to your parties and get off on your celebrity, and for some reason, y’all keep letting them.
It’s truly the greatest self-cucking trend of the Trump era. You may not have been able to stop these depraved, D-list star-fuckers from winning the electoral college and sleeping in the Lincoln Bedroom, but you could use your influence to keep them out of the Grammys.
I want to let you in on a little secret. These people want to be loved. And yes, Crooked Media reader, it is you whom they want to be loved by. That gives you, collectively, power to shape the incentives of future politicians and operatives, who might think twice about race-baiting and shameless lying, if they knew that would get them banished from polite society. It’s time you started using it.
Don’t believe me? Look at their behavior. When Steve Bannon left the White House he invited one lucky reporter on a whirlwind tour around the globe. Was it Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, you ask? Nope, it was Vanity Fair’s Gabe Sherman. Vanity Fucking Fair. Last week he sat down for a lengthy tell-all interview on the pages of GQ. Bannon wants so badly to be portrayed as the evil genius that media elites love you can smell it on all three of his shirts.
In 2011, Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci hosted a wine tasting in Davos featuring only vintages that scored 100 points or equivalent from one of three leading wine critics. It was called the “most obnoxious event at Davos”—a very competitive category I’d imagine—by Felix Salmon, then of Reuters and Mooch boasted that bill for this party reached stratospheric levels. Imagine being the kind of person who spends tens of thousands of dollars bribing the Davos crowd to party with you. Seven years later, after devoting himself to the Trump cause, he returned to Davos as if nothing had changed.
Sean Spicer showed up at the Emmy’s, Hope Hicks reportedly can’t wait to get back to high fashion in New York, Corey Lewandowski is a Sunday Show regular, Jason Miller eschewed a White House job in favor of cable TV green rooms and consulting for Bill Clinton’s global influence-peddling firm Teneo. Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump were once extras in an episode of Gossip Girl, and reportedly fantasize about running away from his legal problems, back to high society in Manhattan. Who do you think keeps leaking to the “failing liberal New York Times”? All of them!
As for Donald Trump himself, his deep-seated need to be respected by the New York in-crowd is both the reason we are living through this nightmare and the one thing standing between me and the gulag.
These people don’t want to go to #war with the (((globalist))) elites. They want crowds to form around them at your black-tie receptions. And you’ve given them no reason to think their invitations won’t be in the mail.
President Trump went to Davos this year and received polite applause. Apparently there wasn’t a single dandy in all of Switzerland with enough gumption to down an apres ski hot toddy and lead the crowd in a therapeutic hiss.
President Obama’s chief strategist David Axelrod had a “rollicking” time with his boy The Mooch on his podcast the other day. Sean Spicer was “the most popular selfie at the Emmy’s.” Dina Powell has rejoined the epicenter of globalist elite power as an executive at Goldman Sachs.
We, the never Trump Republicans, have already been cucked. We’ve got no sway. No one is begging me for an invitation to the annual Weekly Standard cruise. We need to live vicariously through powerful liberals. Our simple request: Shun the Trumpers.
If you want to add some ideological diversity to your Aspen Ideas panel, that’s great! Go find someone who didn’t get where he is by licking Trump’s gold lamé throne. Let the Mooches and Lewandowskis of the world get their fame and riches by appearing on the Ingraham Angle and doing the speech circuit at The Villages. It’s what they have earned.
Shunning the Trumpers is a rare instance where doing the thing that feels good is also the right and moral approach. So please, shun liberally dear liberals. Shun liberally.