WHAT THE FAA…

The Trump administration is preparing to “radically transform” air traffic control after a series of unnerving incidents. Is everybody, uh, ready for summer vacation?

• It’s been an unsettling week of news for frequent flyers. Much of the drama has centered around Newark Liberty International Airport, where a brief but harrowing communications breakdown between air traffic controllers and pilots cascaded into a week of transit hell at one of the nation’s largest air hubs. Multiple controllers went on trauma leave after the 90-second-long gap on April 28, when they were “unable to see, hear, or talk to [pilots].” United Airlines cut its number of daily flights. One local controller claimed: “It’s not a safe situation for the flying public.”

• But never fear… the Trump administration is here! Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, a former reality TV star, is promising to unveil a sweeping air traffic systems upgrade plan tomorrow. He’s pledging new telecoms, radars, infrastructure and staff. He has publicly admitted the system is “frail,” but vowed to fix it.

• “We haven’t stayed current with the times,” Duffy said on Friday, in previously unreported comments during a private town hall. He would “like to make us somewhere in the 21st century — maybe early 21st century. But hopefully we’re gonna get out of the ‘80s.”

The 1980s, you say? Ah, how reassuring! After all, 1980 was the year “Airplane!” was released (and Otto the Pilot was introduced to the world).

• It’s no secret that the FAA could use a tech upgrade. “The equipment my program is trying to replace is from the 1960s with a 30-year lifespan,” one longtime FAA contractor told What A Day. “Why isn’t the government giving us the money to replace them?” Congress has long been blamed for its lack of attention to flight safety.

• A failure to modernize flight systems would lead to more issues, another FAA employee warned. “Twice this year, the system I work with has had major outages because of hard drives that my boss had been telling them to replace for years,” she told me, referring to a pilot safety messaging system. “I worry the upgrades they’re planning are going to be flashy but unstable.”

• Okay, take a deep breath — and don’t cancel that flight. The overwhelming consensus is that planes remain extremely unlikely to fall out of the sky. “While I still believe in the overall statistical safety of the system, I fully understand why recent events have shaken flyers’ confidence,” Willian McGee, a longtime aviation expert, blogged yesterday. Despite deadly airplane crashes and close calls earlier this year, experts still believe flying to be the safest mode of transportation.

“If people don’t think about us, it’s because we’re actually doing our job,” Duffy said at the town hall. Unfortunately, we’re thinking about you, Sean! At least we all have Real IDs now, I guess?

SMOKE AND MIRRORS

The process to choose the next pope kicked off today on an odd note.

It turns out that some of the cardinals involved in the Conclave, in which they’re sequestered in the Sistine Chapel until they choose the next leader of the Catholic church, have been watching the hit movie “Conclave” to prepare.

“Some have watched it in the cinema,” one cleric involved in the process told Politico, referring to the movie starring Ralph Fiennes and Stanley Tucci. (It’s so good — I’ve watched it twice and also read the book!)

Cardinals consider the film quite technically accurate, the cleric said. So, you could say these guys are basically studying before the final, which may prove very helpful to those cardinals who have little experience in Vatican protocols.

The cardinals aren’t the only ones who are, ahem, brushing up on their pop culture references.  A CBS host managed to go viral for his choice of phrase, in noting how the cardinals won’t be able to check their phones at all during the process.

“I believe the kids call it raw-dogging it, if you’re gonna go through a long period of time with no electronic device,” the host said on live television.

Yeah, no… that’s not exactly the correct use of that term. Social media users also pointed out that it’s a wild term to use on live television while discussing the process to replace the pope. Leave the brand new slang to the youngins, please!

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Vice President JD Vance said Russia is “asking for too much” to end the war with Ukraine, highlighting the growing tensions between Washington and Moscow. It’s a fascinating apparent reversal. Only a few months ago, Vance was chastising Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy for not saying “thank you” for U.S. assistance. Maybe all the memes finally got to him.

India struck Pakistan with missiles today, while Pakistan said it shot down five Indian aircraft. Pakistan said 26 of its civilians were killed. The conflict has quickly become the worst fighting between the two nuclear-armed countries in decades.

Donald Trump plans to announce that the U.S. will start referring to the Persian Gulf as the “Arabian Gulf.”  It’s a dig at Iran, which feels strongly about sticking with the Persian Gulf (both names are used in other countries). Google Maps in the U.S. says “Persian Gulf (Arabian Gulf).” Apple Maps says Persian Gulf. Between this and “Gulf of Mexico,” why is Trump suddenly obsessed with renaming bodies of water???

The Trump administration recently designated stretches of land near the southern border “national defense areas,” allowing them to arrest and prosecute migrants accused of trespassing on military property. “People have no idea they are committing this new offense,” said defense attorney Rosanne Camunez.

President Joe Biden said he believes that withdrawing from the 2024 presidential race earlier “wouldn’t have mattered.” Former Vice President Kamala Harris was a “good candidate” who was “fully funded,” he explained in an interview with BBC. Well, she only had four months to run… so!

Ford hiked the price of some of its cars produced in Mexico by as much as $2,000, citing Trump’s tariffs. “We have not passed on the full cost of tariffs to our customers,” a company spokesperson said. Awww, how sweet of Ford… which makes $10 billion in profit every year.

The Trump administration is reportedly planning to send U.S. migrants to Libya, a country that’s been engulfed in turmoil between two rival governments for years. After the news broke, both of Libya’s feuding governments said that no such deal has been made with the United States. Trump’s ability to unite people against him never ceases to amaze me.

The U.S. instructed intelligence agencies to ramp up its spying on Greenland, specifically its independence movement and attitude toward natural resource extraction. American spies quickly discovered the island is still cold and quite snowy, in another smash success for U.S. espionage!

Another Navy fighter jet sank to the bottom of the Red Sea after falling off an aircraft carrier yesterday. It’s the third time a fighter jet has fallen off the USS Harry S. Truman since it was deployed last year. See! This is what happens when you take woke out of the military.

This one’s for all your true crime junkies: A Maryland man pleaded guilty to a 2001 murder after detectives tricked him into drinking from a water bottle at Dulles International Airport, allowing them to match his DNA to the crime scene. This is something I would expect to see on CSI, not in the DMV.

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